bb2112's wife wrote:It is said that behind every great man, there is a great woman. In this case, that woman is the Mod’s Wife; among other duties, she is the one responsible for baking cookies for the Dark Side. Sometimes she even sends roast chicken, pot roast and lasagna to the Detroit gaming crew, although none would dare tell her the lasagna was occasionally subpar. Vader being pissed has nothing on her.
But today there is no cooking - only awards. Yes, awards for the great and glorious play that everyone has seen!
“Theohall,” she calls, and his ghost steps forward. “For your good work lynching the seer, trying to lynch Yoda, and only bashing fellow Rebels, ‘Most Valuable Empire Player Award.’”
“Tru1cy,” she calls next. “Tru1cy?” As usual, he is nowhere to be found, so she puts the milk carton shaped medal back on the counter and moves on.
After Tru1cy, the awards come quickly.
Grundbegriff is awarded the “Rock and a Hard Place” award for pissing everyone else off, and thus sacrificing himself by not revealing his Luke Skywalker scan.
El Guapo receives the “Most Rebellious Kid Ever” award in honor of his paternal conflicts.
Redrun gets the prestigious “Doh” award for admitting he was a special and getting himself killed night one.
Isgrimmner and Purge get matching watches with time zone specific warning bells.
Newcastle gets a Monopoly car for the work he did staying on game while traveling.
Unagi gets the “Cassandra” award for always being right, but never being able to get anyone to listen to him.
WarPig gets the “Rookie of the Year” medal for killing two imperials in a row in his first game.
Mr. Bubbles gets the Sweet Obtuse Triangle award.
RMC gets a signed copy of an ancient song entitled “867-5309” in honor of trying to get SOMEONE to call Mara Jade.
Scoop gets a cell phone; the Imperials will understand.
Chaosraven gets the Mirror award to help identify when he is Chaosraving.
Remus West gets the “Best Impression of a Good Guy Ever!” award.
Austin gets his very own rubber band thrower for having the best gadgets. Even Mara used some.
Most Tortured goes to Stessier, for his untimely early demise on Day 1 and then having to wait 2 months for the game to end.
Qantaga, Jow, Coopasonic, Triggercut, Lagom Lite, Lord Mortis and Lassr all get banana bread for their exceptionally good play. When tempted to mention some kind of allergy issue, Lord Mortis is quickly silenced by a glare from the Mod who wants the ceremony to end so he can have the computer back from his wife.
Since the Dark Side won, the ceremony ends with milk and cookies for all, but mostly for the Mod because truthfully, his wife thinks he was amazing. She is prejudiced. But she’s also ALWAYS right. Just ask her. She’ll tell you it’s the truth, and if you don’t agree, she’ll repeat it until your ears bleed.
And I can attest to the last part, speaking as someone who's ears are bleeding as I type this. Luckily for me, she also has a good sense of humor.