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Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR (Finished!)

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Daehawk
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:21 pm

Don Juan Carlos.
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by mipe » Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:36 pm

You need more experience as a janitor... Thanks for another update! :pop:
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:13 am

Chapter 25: El Douche

From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Shield of Hope, 27 February 2244, New Reno:

"I got drove back to Nueva Reno to try again to get yob at Golden Globes Porn. When I got there, I really wanted to eat Perrocarne because I wanted make sure I had enough energia. But sexo is part of yob at Golden Globes, and it would not feel like sexo without my perro watching.

"This time, Señor Corsican tolds me to act like pool cleaner. I knock on door and a woman who was very of sexy opened it and let me in.

" 'And who might you be?' she ask, playing with her pelo.

" 'Buenos dias, I am pool cleaner. I here to clean pool.' I say to her while taking off my uniform.

" 'Pool cleaner? Why, I have no pool. You must have the wrong house,' she said. Now I was removing her clothes. She look confuse.

" 'This not the right casa? Oh no, lo siento, Señora! I feel so tire, is it OK if I lie down on that cama? Oh look, we are naked, I so sorry!'

"She seem surprise, maybe I go too fast. But it work. I give it everything I got. And I got the yob!

Image

"Señor Corsican ask me to choose a 'stage name.' I think that a pretty good idea, because if la migra watches, they might do raid if they find out I here. I think about good nombres. Maybe 'The Lone Cabrón' or 'Ricardo Suave,' but I decide on something else.

Image

"Señor Corsican give me advice on acting and tell me to slow down this time. The actress was la mujer más hermosa I ever seen, and her nombre was Scarlett Yohansson. This time the yob was different from what I do before, because now they making movie out of it. Lotta people watching me do acting and sexo, so I feeled kinda nervous. But I did bien.

Image

Image

"The name of movie was 'El Douche,' same as my stage name. Señor Corsican think it will become very popular movie. I just hope it lead me to my tribe and HECK somehow.

"I talk to the other empleadas at Golden Globes Porn to know them better.

Image Image

"I take my amigos to the Shark Club to celebrate my buena suerte. There was guy there telling many yokes. He very funny and we have great time.

Image

Image

"That make me laugh mucho! He right, who would be that estupido?

"I go upstairs in club and look around. There be some guys playing pool. I see this as chance to make more dinero, so I clean pool table in same way I acted like pool cleaner in studio. The guys leave right away when that happen, but I found strange ball that not belong there. Ball say lot of words in English when I shake it like maraca.

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"I ask Señorita Angela Bishop to help me understand why my ball is saying. I think she is la hija del jefe of this club.

Image

Image

Image

"I only trying to make la hija del jefe happy, but what happen next was big mistake I think. After a few minutos ...

Image

"I try tell her, 'Thank you for showing me your room, Señorita, I like very much,' but she asleep. I leave her room. I walk around thinking how I can get out of this. I did not even wore protección! Mal, Carlos, muy mal.

"I find pool.

Image

"Then I have gran idea. Just like I pretend I was pool cleaner to get yob, I can pretend to be pool cleaner to get out! I run past the guards...

Image

"It work. Bien, Carlos, muy bien. I got back downstairs, but I still feel dizzy from breathing in Yet from Angela's mouth, so I not know where I going. I end up talking with older mujer.

Image

"As she take me upstairs to her room, I realize that I make big mistake again. She is la esposa del jefe, y la madre de Angela! Her room is next to Angela, but Angela not see us, Gracias a Dios. But because Señora Bishop is older than Angela and not using drogas, it take a lot more energia to please her.

Image

"I so tired. It seem like I no can get away from my new yob. I use the numeros Señora Bishop say in her sleep to open safe, but not much good thing inside.

"I walk around, past pool. Both madre y hija still sleeping happy, courtesy of El Douche.

Image

"I find the room of Señor Bishop, the jefe of this Shark Club that I can no escape. There is safe here, too, but how I open it without knowing its numeros?

Image

"I can open it with bomba steeck, but that will alert guard. Then I have another gran idea. I set bomba steeck for un minuto, leave it under safe, and run away.

Image

"I run into Angela's room and hide behind bookshelf. She still sleeping. The steeck explode and set off another bomba that was on the safe. It was trap!

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"Noise not wake up Angela, but guard heard and came run into Señor Bishop's room.

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Image

"When guard go away, I walk back to Señor Bishop's room and open safe. Inside there was un mapa of place showing where 'Raiders' is. Maybe it is a restaurante I can work at. It not far from here, I visit there soon.

"But now I had to try to get downstairs again, past the guards. Saying I was pool cleaner would not gonna work second time. I put on the steel pantalones I got from Navarro and pretend I was migra.

Image

"And that how I got outta the most peligroso bar in Nueva Reno. Mi amigos y yo then tried another bar, Salvatore's Bar.

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"We got bored of drinking iguana-flavor Jarritos and went upstairs to see what there. Guard there not very simpatico.

Image

Image

"I know what this kinda guy want, though. I give him free copy of movie.

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"Inside room is jefe of bar, Señor Salvatore. He is viejo and need tanque de gas to breathe. I feel very sorry for him.

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"I think it muy importante to respect los viejos, so I help Señor Salvatore by replace his tanque with a fresh one I found in basement of other bar. Then unexpected bad thing happen.

Image

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"It was his time to visit Dios. I glad he could at least enjoy fresh gas I gived him. I feeled honor that I gived him his final gift.

"Guard feeled very triste.

Image

"I give him abrazo and told him to watch my movie every time he feel sad, it remind him that la vida sigue.

"I feeling triste, too, so I do shopping to feeled me better. I first try to shop at Renesco, but that guy is muy loco.

Image

"So we go to another shop own by hombre name Eldridge. This guy know what he doing.

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"This thing I buyed is called 'Computer Voice Module.' I no know what it does, but maybe it can make a computadora speak in español so I can understand it. I give it to Gordo so he can figure it out, but Perrocarne take it from him and chew on it.

"We heard a lotta noise coming from downstairs, so we sneak downstairs while Eldridge counted his dinero. There was big, big mess there, even janitor like me would need all day to clean. There was also guy there walking around talking like gun.

Image

"We found some good things there, like a big gun, but it too big to take upstairs. This kinda gun wins guerras.

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"I look in pot in corner of room ...

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"And find great tribal relic!

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"When I done looking around, I talk to guy making all the noise.

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"I see a lotta peoples die in Nueva Reno, but this time is mi culpa. I go to Padre Tully to confess my sin.

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"I go to East Side and find casa de Wright familia. Inside, they are making cerveza in big stills.

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"I think they sell a lot more cerveza if it was más fuerte, so I put tail of cucaracha in still. It a secret tribal recipe I think they like.

"Outside, some of the Wright muchachos were playing. They look happy, so I join them.

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"The muchachos take us somewhere out in desert and make us hide. We see something really loco there.

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"La migra working with one of the familias here in Nueva Reno! I think it was Salvatore familia. That when I knowed I stay in Nueva Reno too long. We sneak back into town and go to Mantequilla to drive away. Along the way, one of the traficantes, Yagged Himmy J, try to sell me drogas."

Image
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Historians continue to debate whether Carlos Vargas was truly the star of the seminal pornographic motion picture "El Douche." Hipolito Hankies considers this journal to be firm evidence that he was. In fact, as a later entry will imply, Mr. Vargas may not have been able to achieve what he did were it not for the popularity of the film. We may all owe our very existence, and a tremendous debt of gratitude, to the Corsican Brothers who restored pornography to its place in mainstream human culture.

Though "El Douche" is ubiquitous, readily available, and unseen by few, we are including it in this historical document for the sake of academic completeness. Please click the following "Internet link" to view it for research purposes.

El Douche
Last edited by Hipolito on Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:40 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Wed Feb 18, 2009 3:01 pm

:D hahah. Great update! I loved the El Douche youtube video. Private Dicktective....haha...classic.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Wed Feb 18, 2009 7:14 pm

Why did Carlos kill Algernon? He was harmless. :(
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
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GroovAtroN, stop asking
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Thu Feb 19, 2009 1:16 am

Daehawk wrote:Why did Carlos kill Algernon? He was harmless. :(
Apparently Carlos went on a sex and killing spree. I too was sad Algernon died. He was an innocent man.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by theohall » Thu Feb 19, 2009 4:29 am

killap wrote:
Daehawk wrote:Why did Carlos kill Algernon? He was harmless. :(
Apparently Carlos went on a sex and killing spree. I too was sad Algernon died. He was an innocent man.
He didn't even leave Flowers for Algernon

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:04 am

In Carlos's defense ...... Al shot first.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Milton » Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:37 pm

Hey Hipolito,
I registered here just to tell you that this AAR is awesome. Oh, and to ask you if you will continue it, will you?

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:20 am

Thanks Milton. Here's your update!

Chapter 26: Milk

From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Guardian of the Wastes, 8 March 2244, Modoc:

"We goed to eat at Raiders restaurante, but along way, we stop at Broken Hills to see how things going there. Typhon and talking plant are buenos amigos now.

Image

"I take deep breath and go to bar where Francis is. I wanted have talk with him about...that noche. About how he hurt me, and I not gonna let that happen again, and where we go from here. I holding ball and gag in hand in case he forget. He not forget.

Image


"But I no could do it. I walk away and leave town.

Image


"Then we drived al norte to Raiders restaurante.

Image

"We not seed restaurante here, though. It go outta business already? Or maybe la migra shut it down just so I no can get yob here.

Image

"Then we goed down ladder to see what there. That where restaurante was! Underground! There a lotta hombres standing around here, but I no see place to sit. Maybe Raiders is not a restaurante, but a discoteca. It look kinda dirty, though, and no one doing any baile. Maybe it open just now, and guy with música not here yet.

"Then I notice that there not just a lotta hombres here. There nothing but hombres here! I feel kinda funny because I think this is gay bar. Bueno, está bien. I knowed some gay tribals in Arroyo. I think they were in the tribe because they like to wear the tribal clothings and do baile.

"I not very interested in, how you say, 'fiesta de chorizo,' but I could always use yob. I about to ask if they have any, then I notice another tribal in the bar! He not talking with the other hombres, he just staying in closet area. I think he feel shy. I talked to him, but this all he sayed to me.

Image

"I know it can be difícil for tribal to meet new amigos, and for gay tribal it must be doble difícil. So I decide to show him how. I go to the other hombres in bar to make talk with them. Maybe then Shadow Who Walks will see it easy to meet amigos and come out of closet area.

"But when the other hombres see me, they must have knowed that I not gay because I not dressed like them. They aim guns at me!

Image

"I look down at my pantalones. What he talking about? My pelotas are not showing. Then I realize he say that to distract me. He shoot! But he miss. Bullet bounce off wall behind me and hit Shadow Who Walks!

" 'Shadow, you okay?' I say. I tried to point my fingers like pistola at the hombre who shoot at us, like I did with Algernon in Nueva Reno, but this not hurt hombre. I guess trick not work on everybody. I put on my Mega Cooking Mitt and run at hombre. Before he could shoot again, I punch him in the ojos.

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"More hombres come to join la lucha, and so did Sulik and Perrocarne. Gordo stay behind in case other hombres try surprise us. Sulik aim his 223 pistola at the hombre I am fighting. He aim careful so he not hit me.

Image

"Then Shadow walk up to Sulik. He not hurt bad from bullet, but I no want him get involved in this lucha. 'Stay in closet!' I yell to Shadow, 'this not good time to come out!' But he not listen. He do something I no expect at all: he punch Sulik!

Image Image Image

"Shadow, no, why you do this to fellow tribal who is trying to help you? At time, I not know why, but now I think I comprendo. He saw that other gay hombres were attacking me and my amigos, and he want to fit in with them, so he also attack me! I wanted him to make gay amigos, but no like this.

"I no had time to think about this with all these gay hombres coming at me. With quick punches, I put them on the piso, and Perrocarne keeped them down, but more keeped coming. One hombre run out of bullets for his gun, so he run up to me and try to stab me with his long cuchillo.

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"I flatten his face with my Mitt, but he still standing and trying to hit me. I give final punch that knock him muerto, but he have time to say last words.

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"All the hombres were muertos in this part of the bar, so it was time to go after the others. I turn around to see how my amigos were doing, just in time to see Sulik put a 223-size hole in Shadow's chest. Shadow fell to his knees, he try to hold on to Sulik's shoulders.

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"His manos slide slowly down Sulk's chest, then he fall to piso and die. This not Sulik's fault. Shadow kept attacking him, so Sulik had to shoot him to protect self and his amigos. But this not Shadow's fault, either. He only trying to find his place in this mundo loco. I wanted to scream. I could see how triste Sulik felt, too.

"But time for llorando would be later. We go to main dance floor of bar to fight there. Hombre there did high-kick baile and hit me in face with his pie.

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"I had to use muchos stimpaquetes on Perrocarne so he no become Perromuerto.

"As Sulik, Perrocarne y yo kill one bad guy after another, Gordo was still hanging back and letting other hombres shoot him.

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"Gordo not even shoot back at them, because if he did, they would hide in cover. They so busy aiming at Gordo that it was easy to sneak up to them and attack.

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"There was another hombre there that I not see in time, though. He aim his assault rifle at me. I no wearing my steel pantalones, so I tighten the músculos in my estómago as hard as I can and let the bullets hit me.

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"It work. Bullets bounce off. I think all the sexo I had in Nueva Reno make my músculos real hard. Especially the sexo I had with Señora Bishop. Bad guy really surprised I still standing there like nothing happen. I put two gloved fingers in his ojos.

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"Lucha done. We won. We go around looking for equipment that Brotherhood of Steel could use in its discotecas. I find big black cube thing. I thinked it was like the Magic 8-Ball I found in Nuevo Reno, so I try ask it preguntas.

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"Twisting its nariz made cube sneeze!

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"Like they say in Arroyo, if someone sneeze, then put fingers in his nariz for buena suerte. So that what I did, and cube open to give me muchas cosas!

"On way out of this discoteca, I saw all the cuerpos muertos we maked.

Image

"These gay hombres only wanted to have good time. Muertos. Shadow Who Walks only wanted to be their amigo. Muerto. None of this happen if I not come here. Did we just kill all the homosexuales left in wasteland? Is this why I am Chosen One, what I was chosen to do?

"Bueno, these preguntas I no can answer on empty estómago, so we look for place to eat. We go norte to Hecko. I hoped ghouls there not still mad at me for when I broke union rules. But when we got there, Hecko no longer ghoul town. It ghost town.

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"Looks like the power plant is cerrado for good. Maybe union had a zoot suit riot and forced the plant to close, so everybody had to leave Hecko and get other yobs. Glad I not around when that happen.

"We went to Modoc. Maybe we could get huevos rancheros this time at Rose's. But when we got there, I overheared someone say:

Image

"No pollo, no huevos rancheros. That be a problema. We go to where Rose's was. That part of town still a huge mess from when I tried to clean el baño, and now there some cuerpos muertos here and there, too. We wonder what happen, then we saw...

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"Chupacabra still here! It killed the people here! Maybe it killed the pollo too! Now it was gonna kill us. I try to get us into Rose's, but door was stuck.

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"We run around town trying sometimes to fight it and sometimes to get away, then Gordo zap it with his YK42B Pulse Rifle.

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"We save Modoc from Chupacabra, but what about my huevos rancheros? I get door to Rose's open and go inside. No one there. I look behind counter and see Rose there. Look like chupacabra got here long time before me.

Image

"Rose now in el Cielo, making huevos rancheros for gay hombres and maybe a gay chupacabra too.

"I feeled empty inside, and not just because I so hungry. We left Rose's and I try to tell someone what happen to Rose. He shake his head no, either because he no understand me or no like what I said. He just say:

Image


"Yes, my friend. Rose is out of omelets."
Last edited by Hipolito on Mon Jan 02, 2012 3:27 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Milton
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Milton » Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:12 am

Maybe you should put it in a pdf? That way people who just discovered this don't have to scroll trough 6 pages. ;)

EDIT: I could do it if you want, all you need to do is post a link in the first post. Then with every update a new pdf and in the end everything would be merged or something like that.

Great update as always.
I haven't laugh this much in a long time.(I'm referring to the entire AAR not just this post)

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:38 pm

Sounds cool, Milton, I'd like to see how the PDF looks. I'll send you a PM.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by apatdapat » Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:21 pm

This is such a great AAR. Though I really enjoyed FO3, it didn't seem to have anywhere near as many options available to the PC as did FO 2. Reading through this has convinced me to give FO2 another spin.

Thanks for creating this!

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:39 pm

Great update as usual Hipolito!

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by coverton » Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:35 pm

I would like to take a moment introduce myself. I am Chris. There intro done, oh and I just had the name Danzig pop through my head. Don't really like his music but oh well. Which makes me think of Wonder Showzen and Lord Krondor.

Anyway, all rambling aside I would also like to make my first post to state that I stumbled upon this AAR through a bizarre trip through links but I am more than happy my meandering led me here because this little adventure that you have going on is quite hilarious. I cannot wait for the next update to Señor Carlos' tale. It reminds me of a time I tried to play through the game dumb as hell and strong like ox but I gave up rather quickly as it was a large pain in the back side. This AAR has also made me reinstall FO2 along with Killap's additions and start anew.

Great work please keep it coming and I await with baited breathe the next installment :wub:
Without the fear in which we drown
Injustice might not keep us down.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:05 am

coverton wrote:Great work please keep it coming and I await with baited breathe the next installment :wub:
Thanks and welcome, Chris, and sorry to everyone whose breath has also been "baited" (sounds gross) waiting for an update. Carlos had a pretty tough time in NCR. That place enforces its English-only laws at gunpoint, you know.

Chapter 27: Offing Jack

From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Guardian of the Wastes, 14 April 2244, Redding:

"Hoping we get closer to holy 13, we goed to República Nueva de California.

Image


"This town have big wall around it guarded by policías, so I no can see what it look like inside. Before I try go in, I eat iguana burrito.

Image

"I ask around to see if la migra here, but people not tell me.

Image

"I hoping that he share his last chicle with me because my breath was baited with iguana burrito, but he not share chicle. Qué vergüenza. Chicle can be very refreshing.

"I see many peoples in cages outside town. This look muy malo. No me gusta.

Image

"Sulik reach for his pistola, but we not supposed to have pistolas here. I put my hand up and told him no. Not yet. We go into office and ask what this about.

Image

"We walk around cages, pretending we wanna buy. Place was muy triste.

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"I try to open cages using computadora, but I no know how use it.

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"Slaver guard catch me and shoot at me, but that when I suddenly decide to dance lambada, so bullet miss me.

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"I run up to guard and hold his hands and do lambada with him. He look confuse at first, then started getting into it. While I spin him, I put on Mega Cooking Mitt and punch his face flat.

"Then I run back into slaver office before slavers can come out. One of them shoot at me, and I again do forbidden dance to try to dodge bullet.

Image

"Sulik fight slavers with hedge trimmer while Gordo use big YK42B Pulse Rifle. Gordo miss a lot because it hard to aim big gun in small office. But at end of fight, while Vortis hide behind his desk to take stimpaquetes, Gordo rest barrel of gun on the counter and aim it at him. Sulik and I go behind counter and do triple lambada with Vortis, then hold him still and let Gordo shoot him.

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"After we kill slavers, Gordo work on computadora and figure out how to open cages. Slaves are now libres!

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"It feel good to help slaves, but iguana taste still in mouth. So I go to bar to drink cerveza and get rid of taste. Cerveza just make breath worse. But then the bartender, Mira, promise to give me chicle if I do yob for her.

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"Ah, using rope on wall very good idea so I no get catched by policías or migra. I spend afternoon trying to catch Perrocarne so I can turn his bones into chicle. I very need to do something about breath. At night, I find rope.

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"I climb rope over wall to get inside RNC. I no think policías sawed me. But the 'big place by gate' that Mira want me to go was policía station!

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"Was this a real yob or is Mira try to get me deported? Was getting chicle worth risk? I roll tongue in mouth, tasting only lizard meat, and decide sí, is very worth risk.

"I go inside and talk to policías to see which one Jack is. I finded him right a-quick.

Image

"I feeled sorry for Jack. I not sure I wanted kill him anymore, not even for refreshing chicle. Beside, it not smart to try kill him in policía station.

"So I worked as night janitor in station. I scrape chicle from under desks and try to chew them, but they too hard and not have much flavor left. When mañana come, Jack's shift end and he leave station. I follow him to see what he do.

Image Image Image Image Image

"I not know what he gonna do in there, so I about to walk away, then I hear noise and yells. I go up to girl outside building and ask what happen.

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"I go in building and ... Quesos Christo!

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"I try to talk him out of it with my goodest English.

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Image Image Image Image Image

"With Sulik's help, I knocked Jack out before he could use bomba. He now sleeping on floor. I go to girl and calm her down, tell her everything okay again. We both look back at Jack just in time to see him wake up and say:

Image

"In that small building, bomba was loud, very loud and bright. Took me while to see and hear again. I looked around. Jack's sangre and carne were everywhere, but I not have time to clean this up. The computadora was damage by explosion and making smoke and spark. It make a low sound that get higher and higher and louder and louder. The monitors flash and beep and buzz. Girl was pressing all the buttons on the computadora, but nothing work. All the noise make Perrocarne run in circle and bark like crazy, going 'Woop woop woop!' Sulik watch Perrocarne for a while and then started doing same thing.

"I ask girl if I can help.

Image

"Then Gordo open up the computadora, played with wires a little, and use some of Jack's body parts to hold everything in place. Computadora stop beeping and smoking. Perrocarne and Sulik stopped running in circles and catched breath. Gordo save the day again with repair skill, but girl thank me as if I did it.

Image

"The libros were in English, por supuesto. I tore pages out and chew them to get rid of iguana taste, but that not help at all. Pages only make taste worse and gived me points in first aid and outdoor skill.

"But that okay, because I finally gonna get chicle for doing yob! I run to Mira to collect reward. But...

Image

Image

"Gun. Not gum. Gun. I heared wrong. I so mad I wanna kill Mira with stupid-looky fancy gun. Not only she make Jack go loco and die, she not give me chicle! I give stupid-looky gun to Sulik, who not like it either but he keeped it.

"I think maybe a Nuka Cola help breath if I swish in mouth. So I go to bar, but there was a tonto named Hoss who stand by Nuka Cola machine and not let anybody use it.

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"So we had lucha. Hoss pretty tough, but I beated him. Sulik help, but I coulda done it on my self.

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"Bartender let me have Nuka Cola gratis.

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"But Nuka Cola not make iguana-baited breath go away. It make me burp a lot, making me taste iguana burrito again and again! Dios, mátame por favor.

"Now I going loco. Only thing I can do to get mind off iguana taste is trabajar. So I look for yob again.

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"Señor Westin have hacienda grande with casa bonita. Maybe after I find the HECK and rescue my tribe, I can live here and be his ranchero or cook. I even can build pool and be his pool cleaner. But today, he have other kind of yob for me.

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"Felix say...

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"This yob remind me of when I protect Torr's vacas in Klamath from cucarachas, and Grisham's vacas in Modoc from perros. But nothing come by all day to hurt Señor Westin's vacas. Out in hot sun, I feel asleep.


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"I not sure I seed what I seed. Heat maybe get to me. But I did yob right.

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"Elder used to tell story about how El Vaultero save someone name Tandi. So it really happen? I wanna know more about Tandi and holy 13 before I leave RNC. So I talk to policía.

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"I no know why he talk about 15 when I want 13. I go to Con-gress place to talk to Tandi. There I see gran statue of El Vaultero. ¡Increíble!

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"Inside big Con-gress house, I ask man name Gunther about Tandi.

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"I felt muy feliz to meet someone from Elder's stories. When I first see Tandi, I thought she was Elder! But no, she just vieja.

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"Even Tandi care about 15, not 13. I do Vault 15 yob for her later. First I goed on vaca drive to make dinero. We goed all the way to Redding, which is where I now am. Vaca drive pretty fun, and I meet funny viejo name David who fought in guerra long time ago and like to shoot everything."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the letters of David Broadside Telluride, cattle driver, 14 April 2244, Redding:

"My dearest,

"I received your note with much joy. I'm sorry I could not be home sooner, and I hope the devilgoats are behaving. I've just completed a cattle drive in Redding and will be home with enough money to buy enough ammo to keep those government types away all year.

"I rarely tell you about what I see on these cattle drives that take me away from you. Usually, there's not much to see. But I'd like to relate the events of this particular drive, as I befriended a most unusual gentleman.

"His name was Carlos, and he was part of the drive. He was about half my age, though I think he'd seen enough of the world to make him look older. His language skills were worrisome at best, and he seemed rather preoccupied with something called 'la migra.' He wore blue pajamas like the ones I've seen rich folks wear in Vault City, but his two pals wore those fancy metal suits of armor I've seen on those government types. He also had a dog named Pear O'Carney. Most vicious mutt I ever did see, but quite gentle if you've just fed him. I think Pear would be a fine name for one of the devilgoats, don't you?

"We had put some good miles behind us when we ran into a scuffle. On one side was a bunch of Rangers from NCR. You know I don't trust those city folk. And on the other side were muties. These muties were the worst freaks of nature I've ever laid my eyes on, and I'm counting the ones in our backyard. A giant sand cobra, a two-headed bear, and a couple of green-skinned men that were ten feet tall and stank of death. They remind me of my no-good son-in-law.

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"We were hoping to get past them all without getting involved, but one of the NCR city slickers did the darndest thing. She snuck up behind one of Carlos's pals and shot at the muties, making it look like the shot came from us! We had no choice but to fight, then.

"I shot at one of the giant cobras with my laser repeater. I don't know whether I hit it, because I was too distracted by what Carlos was doing. I swear on a stack of Guns and Bullets that Carlos, unarmed, ran right up to one of the tall green men and cleaned his clock with a right cross.

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"I don't know if that boy was brave or just crazy. 'Loco' I think is the word he'd use. Everyone was a little surprised by the sight, which gave the two-headed bear a chance to get close. I fired at him.

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"I'm proud to say I got him in the eyes of one head, even though I was aiming at the other. Pear O'Carney bit into one of the bear's legs and started whipping it around like it was a toy. Then one of the city boys did something dumb and irresponsible that even my son-in-law wouldn't do. He ran up to the cobra and bear and shot them full force with his flamethrower without any regard to the safety of anyone else. The bear died and the cobra got burnt good, but Carlos's friends got caught in the fire.

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"Good thing they had their government suits on, or they'd be burning. But they were burning mad and started shooting at the Rangers. Can you blame them? We now had twice as many things to shoot and shooting back at us. Meanwhile, Carlos ran up to the other green guy and knocked him on his gene-spliced ass.

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"The psycho with the flamethrower launched another puff. This killed the cobra, but also landed on Carlos's friends again.

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"With the muties all dead, it was just us and the Rangers left. The crazy Ranger gal that had fired the first shot now fired a burst at Carlos's friends, who must have been quite tired by now.

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"One of Carlos's friends took out a funny-looking gun. It looked like a lady's model SMG. That was appropriate, because he fired it at the lady. Her head fell apart in a stream of hollow points.

"I shot a laser bolt at the firebug and took him out. That got his friend so mad that he threw down his shotgun and ran right at me. The barrel of my repeater was still cooling, so I couldn't shoot again yet. Luckily Carlos's friend Vic, a tool-and-die man who wants to open a repair shop wherever he goes, zapped the guy into a heap of ash with his newfangled rifle.

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"There was just one Ranger left, and he was standing next to Carlos. He must have known he was done for. Carlos just looked at him, socked him in the jaw, and the battle was over.

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"I reckon we each got a good 2,000 experience points from that little fight. When I get home, we'll talk about perks.

"We made it to Redding with all cattle healthy and no casualties. We each got our pay plus a 50 percent bonus. As the sun set, I sat down next to Carlos on a wagon and asked where he was headed next. He said he was going to a vault. I wonder what he keeps in there. Maybe I should build one.

"Something was bothering him, so I asked what was wrong. He asked if I had any gum. When I said yes, he smiled wider than a devilgoat in a pile of cans. I give him a pack of the gum that I always buy from the Brothers when they're fundraising. He took it and looked at it.

Image

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone go from happy to hopeless so fast. With a heavy heart, he handed back the gum without taking a piece, hopped off the wagon, and walked off to the darkened eastern horizon. I suppose I'll never see him again.

"Folks like Carlos are few in this world. I reckon I should do my part to make their suffering lighter. I reckon I failed today. When I get home, I'll need you to remind me that I am a good and worthy man. Until then, I remain,

"Your husband, Dave."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hipolito Hankies hopes our paying readers had a low-millirem Easter holiday.

Image
Last edited by Hipolito on Mon Jan 02, 2012 3:56 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Shinjin » Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:42 am

Dug the dbt entry :)

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:13 pm

Ive played all 3 Fallout games. 1 and 2 Ive played at least 4 times each. But everytime i seem to play a gunner of some type. plasma, gausse, mini....I REALLY need to play a dumbass melee man. No offense Carlos. you're my hero.!
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:37 am

Good to see another update. As always, it was full of laughs!

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:48 pm

Chapter 28: Wah. Wah Nebbah Changes.

From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Guardian of the Wastes, 22 June 2244, Vault 13:

"When we left for vaca drive to Redding, I leaved Mantequilla in República Nueva de California. It took muchos dias of walking to get back to her. There was guy there who wanted to watch carros. And gatos.

Image

"Then we goed to Vault 15 to get the computadora parts that Tandi want. Hopingly someone there know something about Vault 13.

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"I no see no Vault there. Just some pobres.

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"It look like nobody here wanna talk to me. I thinked about leaving, but then I saw mujer watching me. She look like she have secret to tell, so I talked to her.

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"Sí, I thinked she was loca. Why would anyone watch over a barrio of pobres? We followed her to her tent. I thinked she was just gonna beg us for dinero. I not about to give her dinero without getting some información, so I asked her what this place about.

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"That an interesting story. I guess I comprendo why the pobres here no wanna talk. I asked about her hija desaparecida.

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"I runned out of tent to catch the sneaky guy. There was girl standing in way. I ask for helps.

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"I walk past silly chica and found shack. There was guy there, I no know if he was the sneaky guy, but he look like a not-nice guy.

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Image

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"I get closer to shack, and then someone with shotgun come running out screaming. I try to get away but she shooted me in back.

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"Before she could shoot again, she get sparks all over her body and become pile of ash. Good thing Gordo getting better at aiming his YK42B Pulse Rifle. If he miss by a little bit, you could mix Carlos in your Juan Valdez.

"I goed into shack and find Rebecca's hija.

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"Elder said that El Vaultero rescued Tandi from Khans and kill them long ago. So who are these Khans? Gonna find out soon. We taked Chrissy back to her madre, then we entered Vault 15.

"Vault 15 remind me of Vault at Vault City. Maybe they are made by same contractor. There be a lotta Khans here, but lights not working so they no could see us good. They just let us walk by.

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"I find friendly doctor.

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"He took out shotgun bullets from my back, gratis. I ask what nice doctor like him doing in Vault like this.

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"This Darion guy, how do you say, he has tissues. All this time, he could have gone somewhere else and enjoy la vida. But he is too loco to let go of past. Maybe I will do him favor and finish the lucha that my abuelo, El Vaultero, beginned long ago.

"So I walk around more and look for Darion. Most of the equipment in Vault 15 was broken, but I find one computadora that still have blinkenlights. I press button that say 'Scroll Lock' on it, and have buenisima suerte!

Image

"My corazón beat more faster. I feeled very closer to finishing holy quest now. I give silent thanks to tribal gods, pet my PipChico, and move on.

"My suerte got even better when I found the computadora parts that Tandi wanted.

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"Then I found Darion, the oldest living enemigo of my abuelo.

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"That all he have to say? Qué aburrido. But he start la lucha with flamethrow, which is kinda exciting.

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"I run up to him and punch him in the ojos.

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"That was the end of la vida loca for Darion.

"His amigos shot at us. His perro, Baddog, run at me, but one of the bad guy's bullets make big hole in it.

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"Baddog fall down dead at Darion's feet. I wonder if Perrocarne would do same thing for me. Which remind me, I should eat him someday!

"We kill Darion's amigos and fought way out of Vault 15. We not kill all the Khans, but now that their secret is out, they gonna have to leave. I taked computadora parts to Tandi in RNC and got a lotta dinero and puntos de experiencia. I hoping that RNC and the pobres at the Squat become amigos now.

"Now I finally can complete holy quest to find Vault 13, where El Vaultero was born! It not far from RNC.

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"HECK, here I come!

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"I took wrong turn in cave, but I find the place where El Vaultero fought his first luchas in the outside world. This where he earn the name 'Dances with Rats.'

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"I find big vault door. I try to figure out how to open it, but my amigos just walk in.

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"Vault 13 is just like I dreamed it. Clean, shiny, holy. No mess for a janitor to clean.

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"There probably no one here after all these years, which I like. Holy quest best done alone. I open the door in front of me and see...

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hipolito Hankies has decided to use its share of economic stimulus funds (after spending most of it on bonuses, parties, and various forms of illicit entertainment) to open a subsidiary branch. This new division of our company will maintain a "blog" to take advantage of the current interest in both video games and environmental stewardship. Just as Carlos Vargas struggled to make the world a better place, Hipolito Hankies seeks to establish an image of having the same goal. We encourage our consumers to read it.

http://envirogamer.blogspot.com" target="_blank
Last edited by Hipolito on Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:25 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:01 pm

Chapter 29: Murder, Me Wrote

From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Guardian of the Wastes, 23 June 2244, near Vault 13:

"I falled to my knees. After all this looking for holy 13, I find it has chupacabra waiting to kill me. I close my ojos and wait for chupacabra to eat me. I am remind of book that Elder read to me, about el Capitán Ahab, who go everywhere in boat looking for something called moby duck. His amigos telled him no, it is too peligroso, but Ahab no stop. He find moby duck, but then duck eated him or something. I no remember story good. I just knowed that Vault 13 was my moby duck, and now I about to pay price.

"But then...

Image

"This chupacabra was simpatico. He not wanna make Carlos his desayuno. There was other chupacabra I met when I pretended to join la migra in Navarro. He was also simpatico, and his name was Xarn. I free him from Navarro so he can warn his tribe about la migra. Maybe this is his tribe.

"This still too much for believe. I see human doctor nearby and ask him if these chupacabras are really amigos.

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"I no understand all that English, but it sound like Doctor is here because he wanna be here. He not chupacabras' prisoner or cena.

"I talk to other chupacabra who not know English good either.

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"I talk to other chupacabras and humans here. It look like they are buenos amigos. But not this cholo.

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"This other guy just have mala suerte.

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"On top floor of Vault, I meet hombre who wear robe that is way too grande. I feel sorry that he no can afford good clothes.

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"He walk strange, too. Maybe he hurt his back while lifting fruit crates. That yob can be peligroso.

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"Then I talk to chupacabra guarding computadora room.

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"Computadora was grandisima. Maybe Goris hurt back moving that!

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"I think this computadora has muchos amigabytes. But it not working. I try fix.

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"I put in 'Computer Voice Module' that I buyed in Nueva Reno. Computadora now working!

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"This is muy bueno, but I no want Vault 13 to have this kind of problema ever again.

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"Bueno, I not shoot him, but I punch him hard as I could. I punch him again and again until he fall down muerto. Maybe this is wrong thing I did, but I work too hard to get to holy 13. I no can let a pendejo like him ruin this place.

"I go to janitor's closet to find cleaning supplies to clean the sangre. I find agua cheep.

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"This remind me of quest that El Vaultero had to do because cheep was broken. I wonder if cheep was broken because someone break it on purpose long time ago, like Matt broke computadora.

"Then in closet I see ... I no can believes! Señora del Luger, it here! ¡¡¡LO ENCONTRÉ!!!

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"Tears of happy fall from my ojos. I can now feed tribe! I give abrazos and besos to everybody, even Sulik and Gordo. 'It no smell like chimichanga, Perrotonto!' I sayed while Goris and I did Fallout Flamenco.

"It now time to go to Enclave Island to rescue tribe. We leaved Vault 13 for San Francisco to take tanker. I put on my Power Armor Bellgrande so that I look like migra. But soon, something goed wrong.

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"I feeled presence I not feeled hace mucho tiempo. I walked around and see ...

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"La migra! But migra usually travel in big groups. This one alone. I wondered what happen to him. Then he talked...

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"I guess no one telled him that la migra already take care of Arroyo. Nothing left to burn there anymore.

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"I runned at Kaga. He shoot his big gun at me, but I not slow down. I punch him in leg and make him fall. Then Goris go up to him and take off robe. He roar at Kaga through his long, sharp dientes. He put big holes in Kaga with his huge manos. It was biggest surprise in toda mi vida, and I bet it was for Kaga, too. Goris was chupacabra!!

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"Kaga get back up, but Goris knock him back down again and Perrocarne attack him, too. Sulik and Gordo shoot at him. Kaga got up, fall down again, got up. He lose a lotta puntos de hit and his arms and legs break, but he never give up. He was toughest luchador I ever meet. Part of me even want to cheer for him.

Image

"But I not cheer for him. I know he is bad guy. I punch him in face with Mega Cooking Mitt. He fall back down and not move again. He no can fight no more.

"I could see that he still alive. I winned this fight, I could walk away. But I wanted to be sure this was last fight. I leaned over him, pulled fist back, and punched him hard in the ojos.

Image

"We put his body in the grave that he had maked for me. We have tribal funeral for him. We do this because he was fellow tribal from Arroyo. I not killed him in honor way, but at least I could bury him in honor way. Before we leaved, I took out chimichanga. I open it and pour it on ground for Kaga. The rice, beans, chilis, cheese, tomato, and meat all falled in colorful celebración of Kaga's life. He wanted to be hero and do right thing, but he got confuse along the way and do wrong thing. That happen a lot. It happen to me.

"If I fail to save tribe from Enclave, then Kaga was last person from Arroyo I will ever see. And I killed him.

"Wasteland has changed me. The Elder tell me that wasteland changed El Vaultero, too. That why he got deported from holy 13. Ancestors and gods, I pray you give me his strength. But no give me his pain."
Last edited by Hipolito on Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:42 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:34 pm

:pop:
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Sat May 02, 2009 8:17 pm

Nice to see more updates for this awesome AAR. Keep it up!!

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:49 am

Chapter 30: The Scientist, Part 1 (*KILLAP*)

From the laboratory notebook of Dr. Michael Enough, Scientist, 1 July 2244, EPA:

"My attempts to genetically engineer a brahmin that would explode when it was ready to be slaughtered were interrupted by the sound of gunfire coming from outside. I looked at the closed circuit monitor of the eastern entrance. A gang of hooligans was destroying my prize zinnias!

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"Annoyed yet intrigued, I decided to follow their movements with the network of cameras. I hypothesize that they were led by a man in search of something.

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Image


"These brazen individuals set down at one of the park tables. What were they going to do, have a picnic?

Image

"The apparent leader of the group made his way around the campus wall and found the air vent that leads into the climate control ducts.

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"I breathed a sigh of relief. I figured he would find nothing of interest there, turn back and leave with his friends. The cameras tracked him as he explored the ducts, killing vermin here and there. Then he found something that made me nervous again.

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"He made his way to the Utilities level through that vent. In all these years, I've never realized it was possible to do that. I watched helplessly as he harassed the security robots.

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"He took the west wing elevator down to Sub-level Orange (conference rooms and cafeteria). While there, he helped himself to whatever foodstuffs were lying around. I have no idea how long these things had been there.

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"He finally showed some discretion in his scavenging when he saw the awful state of the cafeteria.

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"He then found the conference room where the holograms have been incessantly and pointlessly debating for longer than I can remember. They were so busy arguing with each other that they didn't have time to indulge him.

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"So far, he'd had no luck getting help from robots or holograms. But on Sub-level Indigo (Genetic Research), he received a wealth of information from, of all things...

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"The intruder did BLT the favor of repairing it, but not the courtesy of returning it to the cafeteria where it belongs.

"He then found the Hibernation Vats.

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"He proceeded to work his 'magic' there.

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"Fortunately, he had not screwed up the revival process completely. The test subject appeared to be compatible with his new environment.

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"Finding nothing left to do in Genetic Research, he went to Sub-level Red (Security). He played with Old Trent, but found it's not much fun to turn on and off without someone sitting in it.

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Image

"He wandered through a few other places in the complex, became apparently bored, and left the building. But he wasn't bored enough to leave the campus completely, for he made his way past the wild dogs that prowl the perimeter and found my laboratory building.

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"I watched the monitors with increased concern as he found a safe passage across the toxic moat and entered the building. I thought of hiding, but my scientific mind was too intrigued by his behavior. I had to keep watching.

"He peered into my specimen cages. I wondered whether he would find the sight interesting or shocking to his conscience.

Image

"He then went through the lockers and storage containers and took all the textbooks, pharmaceuticals, and equipment he could carry. For fear of how he might react, I didn't dare interrupt the burglary. At least he showed signs of scientific curiosity. Perhaps I could have a meaningful discussion with him.

"He finally noticed and walked over to me. Despite the imposing form he struck in his armor, his posture was non-threatening. He smelled strongly of mint, a sure sign of Mentats addiction. I took a deep breath and feigned nonchalance.

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"I panicked at his sudden disinterest in conversation. Did he have to be going to bring his friends to help kill me? I had to see whether I could get him to leave the campus for good.

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"He agreed to do this for me. It took all of my self-restraint to keep from cackling and rubbing my hands at my cleverness and his stupidity. Ten golden geckos! What kind of fool goes on a quest like that, anyway? Goldens are so rare and dangerous, Carlos will either get killed or give up. Either way, he won't be back.

"Now I can resume my work. Time to measure the exothermic output of a bursting Bessie."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We didn't think it would take so long to tell this story, but today is the one-year anniversary of the start of this AAR. Join us as we look back on a year of Carlos, Perrocarne, and Fallout 2.

Ah ....

Thanks for joining us on our walk down Memory Lane, and stay tuned for more.
Last edited by Hipolito on Mon Jan 16, 2012 1:07 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:45 am

YAY, new update! :D

Wow, cannot believe its been a year already...Oh how times flies. Congrats on keeping this AAR alive and I hope you see it through to the end.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Gaunt » Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:18 pm

Awesome, it's been so long! I love the Carlos AAR.
And Killap is here! Your restoration is great, dude. Except this one time, I made a really wimpy diplomat character, because no matter how I start my normal diplomats, they always end up as snipers. So this time, I went out of my way to make her weak, and it took me many reloads to hit Kaga that one time.
Edit: I joined on the anniversary of Killap joining, lol.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:52 pm

"He made his way to the Utilities level through that vent. In all these years, I've never realized it was possible to do that. I watched helplessly as he harassed the security robots.
This instantly brought to mind evil Dr Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb :P

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:21 am

Chapter 31: The Scientist, Part 2 (*KILLAP*)

From the laboratory notebook of Dr. Michael Enough, Scientist, 21 November 2244, EPA:

"I was putting the finishing touch of napalm icing on my explosive birthday cake when I heard the sound of a powerful engine at the east entrance. It was a sound that did not belong on campus, yet it was familiar. I looked at the closed circuit monitors and could not believe my eyes. Carlos, who had invaded my laboratory four months ago, was back. I had sent him on a fool's quest that should have taken him out of my sight for good. Now what did he want?

"He shut off the engine and opened the rear compartment of his motor vehicle. He reached in and lifted out an armload of what appeared to be animal skins. He had apparently completed the assignment to skin ten golden geckos.

"I sighed disdainfully. What would I do with these scientifically useless pelts? More importantly, what would I do about Carlos? He may not be the dangerous vagabond I had assumed he was. Perhaps I could make real use of him.

"I prepared to act grateful as Carlos entered my laboratory with the pelts.

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"I followed Carlos's progress on the monitors as he traipsed off to Sub-level Yellow (power supply). He opened the wrong door and entered the toxic waste disposal area.

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"He put on a gas mask and went over to a computer he thought would regulate power, swatting giant fruit flies along the way. The computer was just our pharmaceutical synthesizer, Mr. Chemmie.

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"He left the toxic area and found the faulty set of generators that powered the lighting.

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"He went outside, salvaged some spare parts (including some pre-war garbage labeled 'Packard Bell'), and used them to patch the generators in a crude but effective manner. The lighting was now working properly. He returned to me to report his progress. I feigned ignorance to hide that I was watching.

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"He came to a while later. If one's agility could be rated on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say that the serum raised Carlos's agility by one.

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"He went back to the power supply area and tried talking to the malfunctioning hologram of the EPA Director of Science. Sadly, he was untutored in machine language and unable to help.

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"However, he performed an intriguing feat on Sub-level Orange by fixing a problem I hadn't realized existed. He repaired a magnetic coil that was causing electromagnetic interference with the holograms in the conference room.

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"All this time, it was the interference that had been causing the holograms to argue nonstop. With the interference gone, they might be able to think clearly again. They were still arguing when Carlos entered the conference room, but this time they would react to external stimuli.

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"Carlos first chatted with the security officer hologram.

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"Carlos went to Sub-level Yellow and did exactly what the security program requested. He returned to report success.

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"Carlos then turned his attention to the EPA Director of Operations.

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"He tried to get more help from our PR hologram.

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"Fascinating. He was able to defeat a computer program's security protocol just by saying 'please.' Perhaps this technique is only effective on programs of the opposite sex. I shall have to try it sometime.

"Before descending to the lower levels to try the passcode, Carlos talked to one more hologram in the room. This one was the director of ground maintenance. We call him Willy.

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"Curse that Willy for besmirching and attempting to destroy my prize azaleas! That he could not do so with his robots only proves the superiority of my creation.

"With the security hologram's access card, Carlos headed to the security wing and met another hologram, perhaps the most sophisticated one yet. But this, too, malfunctioned.

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"I don't know how someone born long after the war could know about such pre-war technology, but the mention of fast food brought back memories. My belly rumbled for a McKidney sandwich. Chicken McBrainstems also kept my colleagues and I up through many a night of number crunching and euchre.

"After Carlos fixed some interference problem in the projector, the hologram functioned normally.

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"I certainly never partook in mind-addling substances, and those of my colleagues that did are most assuredly no longer working here at the EPA.

"Carlos returned to the surface to root through Willy's storage sheds. He found another pre-war item I didn't know we had on campus.

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"I recall that Carlos had a canine companion on his first visit. Well, I suppose that pooch is about to enjoy some vintage pre-war offal.

"Carlos wandered back underground and used the passwords he got from the holograms to access areas he couldn't before. One of these areas was a highly restricted Blue section of Sub-level Violet (memory core). He accessed the computers and learned things that some long-dead people wished no one knew.

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"Carlos then found our gallery of pre-war mythological art.

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"He also found some plant seeds of both experimental and non-experimental strains. He took great interest in the non-experimental ones and carefully pocketed them. Not knowing what else to do with the experimental seeds, he planted them in a fertile part of the arboretum.

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"He then went to another part of the floor and stood motionless for a very long time. I checked on him an hour later and he had not moved an inch. He remained in that position the next morning and every time I checked the monitor for several days. I don't know how anyone could have such endurance. Perhaps his armor kept him upright while he slept or placed him in suspended animation. Finally, he moved back to the arboretum to examine the result. The seed had sprouted into a variant much like my prize azaleas.

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"Sadly, he destroyed the plant when it attacked him. Perhaps he was not a man of scientific curiosity as I'd hoped he was.

"I had grown tired of watching him, but fortunately he had grown tired of being here and decided to leave. He stopped by my laboratory to exchange farewells and gave me the gift of a pre-war treat: Pop Rocks. I opened the package and put some in my mouth. The sensation of sweet candy effervescing between my tongue and palate was most exhilarating! I hypothesize that this unusual sensation is made possible by some sort micronuclear reaction. Perhaps it can be replicated on a much larger scale.

"In return for his gift, I gave Carlos an 'I Liked Ike' bumper sticker for his automotive conveyance. As I watched Carlos depart campus, I ate one more handful of Pop Rocks before saving the rest for study. I was getting a bit overwhelmed by the popping sensation, so I washed the candy down with a few swigs of Nuka Cola. I felt relieved at first, but am now sensing an unusual buildup of pressure within my abdomen. Could the reaction be continuing there? The feeling should pass, although this phenomenon is certainly worth further stud--"

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Last edited by Hipolito on Sun Mar 18, 2012 3:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:27 am

Chapter 32: The Scientist, Part 3


Image
Last edited by Hipolito on Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:08 pm

Uh oh.
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by theohall » Thu Aug 13, 2009 2:19 am

Game over, man..... Game over :cry:

Great AAR, Hipo. Glad Carlos didn't enjoy the Fiesta de Chorizo. :)

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:38 am

Nice, an update! I picked a good day to check then.

Hah, gotta love the pop rocks!

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:57 pm

The middle management of Hipolito Hankies wishes to apologize for the delay of this next update. There were major technical challenges involved in the production of the video segment. Also, there was a lengthy service outage at our image hosting service, VillagePhotos. This outage would not have occurred had Falcon Heene, popularly known as "balloon boy," traveled aboard his father's experimental helium balloon as he was supposed to. The balloon would have taken him directly over Mt. Ditka, Chicago's only active volcano, where a fighter jet from the secretly continuing F-22 program would have destroyed the balloon and let the boy fall into the volcano. This would have provided the sacrifice necessary to satisfy the gods, but the boy's cowardice and stupidity prevented him from riding the balloon. Fortunately, VillagePhotos found a technical workaround, so the images are loading properly now.

We also regret any permanent brain cell loss caused by the video segment. As always, we assume full responsibility and liability and will readily acquiesce to all lawsuits brought against us.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 33: The War Boat

From the journal of Carlos Vargas, 5 December 2244, aboard tanker heading west:

"I was driving away from Agencia de Protección Ambiental after making pelt delivery when I hear explosión muy grande behind me. I drive more faster but explosión send me and Mantequilla into air. I fallout of Mantequilla and land on sand. I looked for Mantequilla for much time. Along way, I had to run away from vacas locas. I think the explosión muy grande also make the vacas exploding!

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"I finally finded Mantequilla. She still working bueno. Maybe I should give her new name, like Mantequilla Dura.

"I drived back to Nueva Reno to pick up my amigos, Sulik, Gordo, Goris, y Perrocarne. There were waited there while I did yob for Agencia scientist. I thinked I would have to look in every casino to find them, but no. They just standing in street where I leaved them. Maybe, after all that happen in Bishop casino, they too scared to go anywhere.

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"Before we leaved town, I heared strange sound. It sound like hombre was barking like perro. I go and find him.

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"I take Mentats dulces in case maybe it help me understand him, but no. He really think he perro!

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"But Mentat help me remember something I learn from computadora at Agencia.

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"We then drived to San Francisco. There nothing more I can do to help peoples in the desert. It now time to go to Enclave to find out what happen to my tribe.

"We not say a word during drive. Gordo did the driving, while I try to figure out lowest setting on plasma rifle so I can cook Perrocarne. But that not matter, because Perrocarne got sick from the EPA dog food I gaved him.

"I no can eat sick perro, so I decide to leave Perrocarne with my Chinese amigos in San Francisco. I know they take care of him while I gone.

"Perrocarne howled while I walked away. Tears come from my ojos and roll down my cara. A perro is the best comida, but an even better amigo. I know I gonna miss him.

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"Sulik, Gordo, Goris y yo goed to tanker. The pobres in tanker know that we about to take it to Enclave, so they pack their cosas and get ready to leave. There still strange sounds coming from downstair, so we goed downstair to see what there.

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"¡Chimichanga del Armagedón! There were octopus overlords here! And mutantes!

"And off in corner was a guapa in big peligro. I ran over to her so no mutantes could hurt her.

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"I keep these mutantes away while Goris and Sulik fight the octopus overlords. Gordo just shoot a few times then run off into corner like he too scared. I no know if he gonna fight good at Enclave.

"It was a tough lucha, but we winned. I help guapa get to ladder so she could go upstair to her novio.

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"The pobres in tanker let me enjoy one last bebida before closing the bar.

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"We then waited for the pobres to leave the tanker, then press 'Go' button. Tanker leaved San Francisco on own. We just sitted back and enjoyed el viaje.

Fallout 2 Tanker Video Like You've Never Seen Before


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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please check out our new parody starting today in the Everything But Gaming forum!
Last edited by Hipolito on Sun Mar 18, 2012 3:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

killap
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by killap » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:25 pm

Glad to see more updates to this amazing AAR. Loved the war boat video! :)

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Zlatchi » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:01 am

I have to admit that was HILARIOUS!!!!! :lol:

"Introducing Carlos Vargas as your Captain, Vic as your engineer, Sulik as your chef and Perrocarne as your dinner." lol

I wish I could play Fallout 1 and 2, but the sideshow cut scenes (death-messages and endings) don't work on my Windows XP, it just keeps skipping them, so I never know what happens at the end. :(

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:32 pm

Is this going to be completed? *twitches nervously* "Please?"
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
---------------------------------------------
I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
GroovAtroN, stop asking
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Hipolito » Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:28 pm

Thanks for remembering! I shall finish this AAR, hopefully before Fallout: New Vegas comes out. (Because New Vegas is going to need janitors, too.)

The reason for the delay is that the Enclave, being such evil xenophobes, have an English-only policy for the sign on its door. So poor Carlos Vargas has had a devil of a time trying to figure out how to get inside. Don't worry, though, he will. And when he does, the mopwater is really gonna fly.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Daehawk » Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:36 pm

That platform is very dirty as I recall.
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
---------------------------------------------
I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
GroovAtroN, stop asking
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/daehawk

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by MrSnooze » Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:41 pm

I had to register just to say that this thread is possibly the greatest thing on the intertubes, I've been in tears laughing since the first chapter and it just keept getting better. The mixture of Fallout 2's brilliant in-game dialogue and equally hilarious narrative by Hipolito produces nothing less than pure comedy gold.

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Re: Fallout 2 for Dummies: A Post Nukular AAR

Post by Bakhtosh » Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:35 pm

Welcome mr.snooze.

Hope you stick around to see what else we have to offer.
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