Punchlines

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:46 pm

you know the routine. post your favorite punchline...but not the rest of the joke.

mine:

"That's our milking machine, it doesn't stop until it gets five gallons!"

Kadoth Nodens · Post by **Kadoth Nodens** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:49 pm

"I left my harp in Sam Clam's disco!"

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:49 pm

Do I only get one? If so:

"The brick"

SuperHiro · Post by **SuperHiro** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:49 pm

heh, I actually know that joke.

I'll post two.

"Man this is nothing, last night it was a guy with a chicken!"

"I want a rematch! My cow was a male!"

Eduardo X · Post by **Eduardo X** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:51 pm

hepcat wrote:you know the routine. post your favorite punchline...but not the rest of the joke.

mine:

"That's our milking machine, it doesn't stop until it gets five gallons!"

They made that into a bad sketch on Mr. Show!

"The brick"

Fucking dogs.

My punchline:
"Socialized Healthcare."

Dramatist · Post by **Dramatist** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:56 pm

Better Nate than lever.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:57 pm

SH got more than one so....

"he was then arrested for transporting underage gulls across state lions for immoral porposes."

"I'm a frayed knot."

"Just born with them I guess."

"That was a bar bitch you ate."

"A fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and fourty bucks for a fucked up duck."

"HOW DOES IT FEEL?"

"Your the king! Your the king!"

"The bad news is that he is going to be vegatble for the rest of his life."

"No. It's a cereal."

"Look. A talking dog."

"Does this taste funny?"

"moo."

I have way too many favorite jokes to list.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 2:59 pm

Fucking dogs.

That's pretty impressive. I don't have the patience to tell the joke any longer. I don't think I have ever met anyone outside of my circle who had ever heard that joke before. It seems like it died in the vine almost 20 years ago.

Kael · Post by **Kael** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 3:00 pm

LordMortis wrote:Do I only get one? If so:

"The brick"

That is my favorite joke too. I'll have to list a few others:

"Nope its only ice cream."

"I think you better pet him first."

"Okay, so I'm hiding naked in a refridgerator."

Debris · Post by **Debris** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 3:07 pm

"Rectum? Durn near killed 'im!"

Walk him and pitch to the elephant.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 3:12 pm

"Nope its only ice cream."

I only found out that was a really old joke when it was posted on GG shortly before it's demize. When I told it to friends they looked at me like a should have been around 25 years ago.

I can't believe people have heard the brick joke. The world is now a happier place for me to live in. I used to love telling it when I was a more vibrant, alive, and outgoing person.

Captain Caveman · Post by **Captain Caveman** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 3:21 pm

"To get to the other side"

"Anywhere it wants"

"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Mr. Fed · Post by **Mr. Fed** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 3:37 pm

"You're a mean drunk, Superman!"

"Gentlemen, I'm shocked! I threw in a check for the whole amount!"

Bakhtosh · Post by **Bakhtosh** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 3:58 pm

"Shoot the dog"

"I don't know, but my asshole really hurts"

"Do you really think I wished for a 12" pianist?"

Sunderer · Post by **Sunderer** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:06 pm

"She gagged"

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:07 pm

I almost forgot:

"Shut up, jack ass. I know what I'm doing."

Grafvolluth · Post by **Grafvolluth** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:33 pm

Kael wrote: "I think you better pet him first."

I laughed pretty hard the first time I heard that one.

Steron · Post by **Steron** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:46 pm

"And the genie snapped his fingers and turned her into a man!"

warning · Post by **warning** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:47 pm

"Eats shoots and leaves."

"Okay the dog's taken care of. Now where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:50 pm

"And the genie snapped his fingers and turned her into a man!"

Or

"I can't believe he still believes in genies!"

Ralph-Wiggum · Post by **Ralph-Wiggum** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:50 pm

"If I have to gurgle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary-Anne sticks her butt in it!"

msteelers · Post by **msteelers** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:51 pm

"So that was the second time I got crabs."

Steron · Post by **Steron** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:57 pm

"You're a mean drunk, Superman!"

I know that joke and just the reading the punchline made me chuckle. I haven't heard that joke in a LONG time.

"I can't believe he still believes in genies!"

Another funny one.
==================================
Couple more I thought of:

"My friend is out there picking watermelons"

"Look Helen I got some hand lotion"

Eduardo X · Post by **Eduardo X** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 4:58 pm

"I felafel!"

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 5:01 pm

Okay,he dead .Now what?

Ralph-Wiggum · Post by **Ralph-Wiggum** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 5:02 pm

Eduardo X wrote:"I felafel!"

Q). What was Bill O'Reilly's sexual-harrasment defense?

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 5:03 pm

You're Thor? How do you think I feel?

Pointer · Post by **Pointer** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 5:21 pm

I want to hear the brick joke!

Pointer

Al · Post by Al » Mon Nov 08, 2004 5:57 pm

"He said you're gonna die."

Fishy · Post by **Fishy** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:30 pm

"So you got something to look at when you are talking to them."

Tscott · Post by **Tscott** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:42 pm

TOP TEN PUNCHLINES TO SCOTTISH DIRTY JOKES

10. It took me a fortnight to get out all the thistles
9. I didn't know you could also get wool from them!
8. It's not a bagpipe, but don't stop playing
7. What made you think I was talking about golf?
6. I've heard of comin' through the rye - but this is ridiculous!
5. Of course she's served millions - she's a McDonald
4. Oh, so *you're* Wade Boggs
3. Care to shake hands with the Loch Ness monster?
2. Who's burning argyles?
1. She's in the distillery making Johnnie Walker Red

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:11 pm

"She shuts up for 5 minutes"

"He's been a lot more careful about what he eats since that cue ball incident"

Gromit · Post by **Gromit** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:27 pm

Well, when you factor in the lab test and the cat scan...

tgb · Post by **tgb** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:46 pm

"You're gonna hate Tuesdays!"

"Me? I'm fuckin' disgusted!"

"Friday is your day in the barrel"

"You want beef with broccoli now???"

(I'm sure I can think of more)

WAW · Post by **WAW** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:51 pm

Don't listen to the sheep, sheep lie.

It's mayonnaise.

Your the guy who shit in my tuba.

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:54 pm

I don't know ANY of these jokes. Does that make me a homosexual?

msteelers · Post by **msteelers** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 8:00 pm

WAW wrote: Your the guy who shit in my tuba.

Yes...I love that joke.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 8:16 pm

"No dear. Asshole too high and fucker run too fast."

Det. Dave · Post by **Det. Dave** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 8:39 pm

I was the guy hiding in the refrigerator.

Petey Wheatstraw · Post by **Petey Wheatstraw** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 12:42 am

"You don't eat a pig like that all at once."

Octopus Overlords

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