FloriDUH - get your WTF news here

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:36 pm

I knew not to get electronics and plug in wires near the water at around age 5. It was a stupid thing to do and her age proves that one. It also shows just how kids today live on their phones. She would have probably been one of those teens that text and drive and kill someone. Sad yes. Smart no. Darwin definitely. Well maybe more so if she was drunk..but she wasn't.

I didn't post it for a while because the news failed to mention she had it plugged in. Thought it was some strange accident and wondered how a phone could kill someone. I dont care for people I guess but Ive always hated stupidity to death.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:45 pm

McNutt wrote:I cut 14-year-olds some slack. It was not a smart move, but way too sad for Darwin threads.

A Darwin is most properly deserved before the recipient reproduces. But yeah, this one doesn't deliver the funny.

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Wed Jul 12, 2017 4:59 pm

Do they not have GFI circuit regulations in New Mexico?

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Wed Jul 12, 2017 5:13 pm

I thought it was TX. But having an old old house I can say mine doesn't.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:17 am

Kraken wrote:
McNutt wrote:I cut 14-year-olds some slack. It was not a smart move, but way too sad for Darwin threads.
A Darwin is most properly deserved before the recipient reproduces. But yeah, this one doesn't deliver the funny.

I didn't know funny was one of the criteria.

The other day, my 10 month old daughter, who now has her forward gear mastered, sidled up to a wall outlet and began to inspect it. My 3 year old toddler saw this and ran up to her, telling her "no no no! There are monsters in there!"

Not quite sure where the "monsters" thing came from, but it's the second time in the past week he's mentioned it. Anyway, the point is, my 3 year old knows better. I would not expect a 14 year old to be so fatally ignorant of such things.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:38 am

Why do people think she didn't know it was dangerous? She was 14 - she just probably thought she wouldn't drop the phone.

McNutt · Post by **McNutt** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:50 am

I never said she didn't think it was dangerous. I'm sure she knows that things plugged in + water = bad. She might have had the phone plugged in and just reached for it later out of habit.

It was definitely a dumb move. I just think of "Darwin" stories as some you can morbidly laugh at. I'm not laughing about a 14-year-old girl.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:55 am

I should have quoted Jeff - that's who I was responding to. I'm on your side - it's sad, not funny.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:00 am

FWIW, she wouldn't be eligible for an actual Darwin Award. She's too young (that's actually a rule), and what she did would be common stupidity, not extraordinary stupidity. Trying to use an electrical heating pad in the tub would be a Darwin Award. Thoughtlessly touching your phone would not.

Freyland · Post by **Freyland** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:10 am

My hypocrisy meter is buzzing. How is it that we don't focus on the non-funny when an adult Darwinizes themselves like we are with a child? I'm not implying the kiddo dying is supposed to be funny; I'm asking why we are okay finding the funny in the adult death. The characteristics are the same: stupid/foolish/careless/unwise/shortened life. And before we respond with, "she is too young", remember that a 20 yr old is only 6 years older, with a long life ahead, and I'm sure that has phased no one in the past. Likewise, "it was someone's child" is countered with the adults were likely still someone's child, and also likely had additional "dependents" that were affected.

Again, I am not suggesting you laugh at this child's passing. I'm using our expression of sadness at her passing to ask how we manage to find any Darwin winners funny.

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:27 am

You'd better be filling your adult life with some fucking rock-solid decisions before you start laughing at the poor choices of others.

McNutt · Post by **McNutt** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:39 am

My rules for allowing myself a snicker are:
1. Victim is an adult. Can't stress that enough.
2. Death comes from something extraordinarily stupid.

Example - adult is warned of an alligator in the water, says "fuck that gator," jumps in anyway, and is promptly eaten by the aforementioned alligator.

Freyland · Post by **Freyland** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:03 pm

McNutt wrote:My rules for allowing myself a snicker are:
1. Victim is an adult. Can't stress that enough.
2. Death comes from something extraordinarily stupid.

Example - adult is warned of an alligator in the water, says "fuck that gator," jumps in anyway, and is promptly eaten by the aforementioned alligator.

Child is educated on electrical safety around water, says "fuck that noise", uses plugged in phone at bath anyway, and is promptly electrocuted by the aforementioned laws of physics.

See? Seems to be a terribly close parallel. And I'm no better, btw, as far as Gator Boy goes. That's probably why I care enough about this discussion that my Meter went off.

McNutt · Post by **McNutt** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:09 pm

We've all played with electricity close enough to water that this is probably just a small jump from something we've done. Plus, it was a child, and their commons sense isn't as well developed. Even if an adult did this, it's stupid, but not nearly approaching the level of stupidity required for Darwin funny. I wouldn't joke about adults dying in a motorcycle wreck because they weren't wearing a helmet or from rocking a vending machine until it fell on them. Both are dumb, but there's nothing funny about how they died.

The alligator guy though, that was funny in a morbid way.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:59 pm

I didn't know Darwins had to be funny....just stupid.

gilraen · Post by **gilraen** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 1:10 pm

It probably didn't even register with her that a plugged-in cell phone is an electricity risk the same way a hair dryer would be.

I think I only learned about electric conductivity in water when I was about 10 or 11. We simply didn't have ANYTHING plugged in in the bathroom that would be anywhere near the water, so the question never arose. I was on vacation with my grandmother, and in the USSR any time you went on vacation (not just camping), you brought an immersion heater so that you could make tea (one of those little spiral-y things). I had the heater in my metal mug and it was taking so long, I stuck a finger in the water to see if it was even getting warm. My grandmother saw it and immediately read me a lecture on why I should never, ever do that.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 1:40 pm

My brother stuck a pair of tweezers into a wall socket once...once. Knocked him down and he never did that again I was told.

Punisher · Post by **Punisher** » Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:58 am

Jeff V wrote:
Kraken wrote:
McNutt wrote:I cut 14-year-olds some slack. It was not a smart move, but way too sad for Darwin threads.
A Darwin is most properly deserved before the recipient reproduces. But yeah, this one doesn't deliver the funny.
I didn't know funny was one of the criteria.

The other day, my 10 month old daughter, who now has her forward gear mastered, sidled up to a wall outlet and began to inspect it. My 3 year old toddler saw this and ran up to her, telling her "no no no! There are monsters in there!"

Not quite sure where the "monsters" thing came from, but it's the second time in the past week he's mentioned it. Anyway, the point is, my 3 year old knows better. I would not expect a 14 year old to be so fatally ignorant of such things.

You should check.. He might be roght!

Spoiler:

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Thu Jul 20, 2017 2:15 pm

Back to the important stuff - real news from Florida -- He didn’t like the AT&T trucks parked in front of his home. So he shot them.

Seems reasonable.

Cell phone video rolled as Jove, 64, calmly walked around the first truck and shot at all four tires. The sound of the air coming out of the tires followed the blast.

Jove then walked to the second bucket truck and began shooting at the front of it, reloading the gun several times. Meanwhile, one of the AT&T workers could be heard calling police to report the shooting.

KDH · Post by **KDH** » Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:53 pm

...

... Florida man's drowning recorded by group of (heckling) teens, police say

COCOA, Fla. -- Authorities in Florida say a group of teens watched and laughed as a man drowned in a retention pond last week.

Jamel Dunn drowned in a retention pond in the city of Cocoa on July 9. Cocoa police say they later discovered a group of teens between the ages of 14 and 16 recorded the 32-year-old's drowning on video, CBS Orlando affiliate WKMG-TV reports.

The video was released by the state attorney's office Thursday and audio was published by Florida Today. The teens can be heard laughing at Dunn.

"F------ junkie, get out the water, you gonna die," one said.

"Ain't nobody's going to help you, you dumb b----," another said. "You should've never got in there."

Police said that Dunn walked into the pond by himself, WKMG-TV reports. Police aren't sure if he was suicidal but said he just had an argument with his fiancee. Dunn's body wasn't found until July 14.

Police identified and interviewed the five teens involved. Cocoa Police Chief Mike Cataloupe calls their actions "utterly inhumane and cruel," but says criminal charges won't be filed because state law doesn't require people to help or call 911 when someone's in distress.

"Short of them pushing him in the water, we don't have anything that can hold them accountable on a criminal level," Cocoa police spokeswoman Yvonne Martinez told WKMG-TV.

The teens got their biggest laughs when Dunn was screaming and went under, WKMG-TV reports.

"This man ain't getting back up," one said.

"Yeah, he dead, but he gone," another said. "RIP."

Martinez said it was "unfortunate" that authorities can't charge the teens.

"For these kids to just do what they did and video and be laughing about it," she said, "it's just mind-boggling."

Punisher · Post by **Punisher** » Fri Jul 21, 2017 7:59 pm

I don't understand why we don't have a law that says you need to at least call 911 if possible. I wouldn't want someone to be forced into physically helping and possibly making things worse, but calling 911/getting help should be the minimum.

Granted, we shouldn't even need a law for this, but ...people...

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:44 pm

Shouldn't this be a failure to render aid?

People like those teens grow up no good.

gameoverman · Post by **gameoverman** » Sat Jul 22, 2017 4:47 am

This is an interesting case to me. First, isn't it true that the police have no obligation to render aid to the public, as we saw with Reginald Denny?

If the police aren't obligated to do anything, why should I or anyone else be obligated by law to do something?

If this guy is drowning right then and there, what practical difference does calling 911 make? Do you think cops are going to respond fast enough to get there and jump in the water and reach that guy, all before he drowns? If it makes no difference in saving his life, then why is it so bad they didn't call 911?

I understand that people think the teens should have done things differently, but I also understand that just because I would do this or that doesn't mean anyone else would. Some people watch car races to see who wins, some people watch car races to see the crashes.

raydude · Post by **raydude** » Sat Jul 22, 2017 5:03 am

It's not so much that they didn't get help or try to help that gets me. It's that they laughed at him all the way to his death. That's never excusable.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 6:46 pm

Florida Man Gives Cops Dashcam Video That Shows He Didn't Cause Wreck But Did Burglarize A Store

Guy has wreck. Tells officers he is not responsible and can prove it with his dash cam. Proves he parked in front of beauty store, got bat from trunk, and busted the glass door and robbed the place instead. WTG FloriDUHman

KDH · Post by **KDH** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 7:04 am

.
... A Florida man had police test his meth. He wanted to ‘press charges’ against his dealer
.

Spoiler:

Florida authorities can be soooooo accommodating — so much so that when Douglas Peter Kelly allegedly phoned sheriff’s deputies to tell them he had been sold the wrong illicit drug, they offered to test it for him.

Kelly, from Hawthorne, called the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday to say that he had bought what he thought was methamphetamine; but, after smoking it and having a “violent reaction,” he suspected that he had been given the wrong substance — and he wanted to press charges against the person who sold it to him, deputies said in a Facebook post.

Detectives told him that they could certainly test the drug for him to ensure it was meth. And, the authorities said, he took them up on it.

“In an effort to ensure the quality of the drug the suspect purchased, detectives told Kelly if he came to the sheriff’s office they could test the narcotic he had purchased,” said the post from the sheriff’s office. “Kelly drove to the sheriff’s office and handed detectives a clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil. The substance field-tested positive for methamphetamine, the drug Kelly intended to purchase.”

Kelly was arrested. The 49-year-old was charged with possession of methamphetamine and was “walked” over to the jail, according to the Facebook post. His attorney could not be immediately reached for comment.

.

Authorities in other states have made similar overtures. In May, the Gratis Police Department in Ohio posted a “warning” on Facebook about meth that could be contaminated with the Zika virus and offered to test it — gratis.

The post read:

WARNING: If you have recently purchased Meth in Preble, Montgomery, Darke or Butler Counties it may be contaminated with the Zika Virus. Please bring it to the Gratis Police Department and we will test it for free. If you’re not comfortable coming into our office, please contact us and we’ll test your Meth in the privacy of your home.

It included a disclaimer: “Methamphetamine can’t be a host for the Zika virus.”

The Putnam County Sheriff’s Office said in its Facebook post Wednesday that deputies will test any suspected “bad drugs” free.

“Remember,” the post read, “our detectives are always ready to assist anyone who believes they were misled in their illegal drug purchase.”

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Jun 15, 2018 9:23 am

Are there no limits to the extremes Florida will go to to suppress the vote?

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Wed Dec 05, 2018 2:43 pm

Tennessee man gives Florida man a run for his money. Urinates on Kellogg's conveyor belt in 2014, posts video of it in 2016, arrested in 2018.

You've already eaten it. Probably didn't happen just once.

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:13 pm

Paingod wrote: ↑Wed Dec 05, 2018 2:43 pmYou've already eaten it. Probably didn't happen just once.

Maybe that wasn't a rubber band that my mother found in her Raisin Bran Crunch after all.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:20 pm

The Meal wrote: ↑Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:27 am You'd better be filling your adult life with some fucking rock-solid decisions before you start laughing at the poor choices of others.

Only if those decisions are life and death decisions, imo.

In any case, Darwin awards usually have a factor of unreasonable decision making beyond "mistakes" or "poor choices".

Deciding to eat shrimp past it's due date? Poor choice. Playing chicken with a train while your friends record? Darwin award.

Yes I realize this is an old post.

The other side of it is that everyone alive has the advantage of not making a darwin-award winning decision. We tend to think we're superior to dead people. see: In my day we didn't need the government protecting us from lawn darts. Except you did, and the dead kids not around to tell you about it are the reason why. Just because you won the lottery doesn't mean everyone is going to or winning the lottery is the norm of that you're more awesome than other people because you did.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:23 pm

Paingod wrote: ↑Wed Dec 05, 2018 2:43 pm You've already eaten it. Probably didn't happen just once.

If it doesn't kill me/make me sick then I don't want to know. That has always been a guideline of mine.

Freyland · Post by **Freyland** » Thu Dec 06, 2018 3:39 am

Paingod wrote: ↑Wed Dec 05, 2018 2:43 pm Tennessee man gives Florida man a run for his money. Urinates on Kellogg's conveyor belt in 2014, posts video of it in 2016, arrested in 2018.

You've already eaten it. Probably didn't happen just once.

We might have soggy mini-wheats, but at least he didn't "frost" the flakes.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 11:48 am

Arkansas pair challenge Florida man.

https://www.nwaonline.com/news/2019/apr ... -20190403/

She said her husband was on the deck of their house at 21412 Deer Run Lane in Rogers. She said Ferris was drinking with Hicks, their neighbor, when she heard a gunshot.

She went outside and saw her husband had a mark on his chest, according to the affidavit. He later complained about the injury and she told him to go to the hospital, according to the affidavit.

Ferris said he and Hicks had been on the deck drinking. Ferris was wearing a bullet-resistant vest. He told Hicks to shoot him, according to the affidavit.

Hicks shot Ferris in the chest one time with a .22- caliber semi-automatic rifle. The bullet hit the top left corner of Ferris' chest. He said it hurt, according to the affidavit.

Hicks then put on the vest. Ferris said he was angry about getting shot, and he "unloaded the clip" with the remaining five rounds into Hicks' back, according to the affidavit. None of the rounds penetrated the vest, according to the affidavit.

Hyena · Post by **Hyena** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 3:49 pm

Daehawk wrote: ↑Thu Apr 04, 2019 11:48 am Arkansas pair challenge Florida man.

https://www.nwaonline.com/news/2019/apr ... -20190403/

She said her husband was on the deck of their house at 21412 Deer Run Lane in Rogers. She said Ferris was drinking with Hicks, their neighbor, when she heard a gunshot.

She went outside and saw her husband had a mark on his chest, according to the affidavit. He later complained about the injury and she told him to go to the hospital, according to the affidavit.

Ferris said he and Hicks had been on the deck drinking. Ferris was wearing a bullet-resistant vest. He told Hicks to shoot him, according to the affidavit.

Hicks shot Ferris in the chest one time with a .22- caliber semi-automatic rifle. The bullet hit the top left corner of Ferris' chest. He said it hurt, according to the affidavit.

Hicks then put on the vest. Ferris said he was angry about getting shot, and he "unloaded the clip" with the remaining five rounds into Hicks' back, according to the affidavit. None of the rounds penetrated the vest, according to the affidavit.

Ironic last name of "Hicks" living in Arkansas...shooting each other.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 5:24 pm

I used to live in Rogers.
Doesn't surprise me about the rednecks.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 8:08 pm

A long time ago my stepson got a tactical vest that holds ceramic plates to make it bullet proof.
He never has got the ceramic plates so now he throws on the canvas bag (vest) and fills it full of water and hopes that slows the bullets down.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 8:14 pm

Unless he’s wearing three feet of water, all that’s going to do is introduce water-borne pathogens to his wound.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 9:06 pm

I was making a funny.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 10:05 pm

Captain Buzzkill ... AWAAAAaaaaaaaaayyyyyy....

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Fri Apr 05, 2019 1:12 pm

Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Thu Apr 04, 2019 8:14 pm Unless he’s wearing three feet of water, all that’s going to do is introduce water-borne pathogens to his wound.

I thought Mythbusters showed 18" was sufficient. Even less for higher muzzle speeds.