Dear Superhiro and Unknown Celebrity Guest

Captain Caveman · Post by **Captain Caveman** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:30 pm

Dear Superhiro and Unknown Celebrity Guest,

A few days ago, my mother walked in on me while I was attending to my irrepressible teenage desires. This moment was made even more humiliating by the fact that I happened to be watching a Lifetime Network rerun of the Golden Girls at the time. You know the episode where there's this big misunderstanding between the girls over some trivial matter but somehow everything miraculously gets worked out in the final five minutes over a slice of chocolate cheesecake and stories of Rose's dimwitted St. Olaf relatives? Well, for some inexplicable reason, the palable combination of geriatric sisterhood and delectable desserts proved too much for my trigger-happy underling to resist. I had no choice but to succumb to my prurient urges.

Now my mother is prohibiting me from visiting my grandmother at her senior care facility, Sunset Ridge. She won't come right out and say it, but I think my mother is convinced that I am an incorrigable onanist with a perverse attraction to wrinkles and shufflepuck!

I miss my grandmother very much and would like to see her. Do you have any advice that could help me rectify this matter?

Sincerely,
Sweatin' to the Oldies

Asharak · Post by **Asharak** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:32 pm

I gotta go with "huh?" on this one... a little explanation, SVP?

- Ash

SuperHiro · Post by **SuperHiro** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:32 pm

Your question will be answered in the order received.

Thank you for submitting your question to ASK SUPERHIRO!

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:34 pm

Sup (SOOP, not 'Sup?) ! It's happened! You finally actually got a real honest-to-goodness letter to address! You said that you'd hit the big-time when that day came. Woo, I'm so proud!

~Neal

Ralph-Wiggum · Post by **Ralph-Wiggum** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:24 pm

They are pretty hot:

Crowley · Post by **Crowley** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 9:05 pm

Ralph-Wiggum wrote:They are pretty hot:

+

=
A night to remember.

DiscoJason · Post by **DiscoJason** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:23 pm

Ralph-Wiggum wrote:They are pretty hot:

Man, I want to cornhole that Betty White!!

flycatcher · Post by **flycatcher** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:06 am

Captain Caveman wrote:
Dear Superhiro and Unknown Celebrity Guest,

A few days ago, my mother walked in on me while I was attending to my irrepressible teenage desires. This moment was made even more humiliating by the fact that I happened to be watching a Lifetime Network rerun of the Golden Girls at the time. You know the episode where there's this big misunderstanding between the girls over some trivial matter but somehow everything miraculously gets worked out in the final five minutes over a slice of chocolate cheesecake and stories of Rose's dimwitted St. Olaf relatives? Well, for some inexplicable reason, the palable combination of geriatric sisterhood and delectable desserts proved too much for my trigger-happy underling to resist. I had no choice but to succumb to my prurient urges.

Now my mother is prohibiting me from visiting my grandmother at her senior care facility, Sunset Ridge. She won't come right out and say it, but I think my mother is convinced that I am an incorrigable onanist with a perverse attraction to wrinkles and shufflepuck!

I miss my grandmother very much and would like to see her. Do you have any advice that could help me rectify this matter?

Sincerely,
Sweatin' to the Oldies

Well that explains why Caveman has all those pictures of the Golden Girls in his room, and as his wallpaper on his computer. MissTaken just think, in 40 years Caveman will finally pay attention to you

Discalced · Post by **Discalced** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:13 am

If your mom maintains her resolve, you could always pursue the online dating route:

Octopus Overlords

Dear Superhiro and Unknown Celebrity Guest

Dear Superhiro and Unknown Celebrity Guest

Re: Dear Superhiro and Unknown Celebrity Guest