Ouch, my crotch, er, my hip!

Default · Post by **Default** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:47 pm

I have an appointment in a week to schedule a total hip replacement.

I figure it will only be a day or so until l turn into Billy Crystal impersonating an old Jewish man.

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:33 pm

Take heart, though. My 78-y.o. dad got a new hip a month ago, and he says he feels like a new man.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 6:39 pm

clone

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:38 pm

Good luck. We're all counting on you.

Hope all goes great though.

Default · Post by **Default** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 7:42 pm

Can't wait to use, "But Doc, will l be able to play the violin???"

killbot737 · Post by **killbot737** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 8:20 pm

Just like sectioning a chicken. Slice at the joint.
Good luck.

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 8:31 pm

And make sure to keep the old one, just in case!

Freyland · Post by **Freyland** » Fri Jun 23, 2017 10:32 pm

Hip replacement surgery: Basically a medical mid-life crisis where you divorce the Ol' Ball n' Socket for a younger one with firmer jams.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Sat Jun 24, 2017 12:20 am

Break a leg.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Sat Jun 24, 2017 12:29 am

The doctor told me I needed a spine.
I told him that was true ever since I got married.

Default · Post by **Default** » Sat Jun 24, 2017 12:55 am

Freyland wrote:Hip replacement surgery: Basically a medical mid-life crisis where you divorce the Ol' Ball n' Socket for a younger one with firmer jams.

The old one just keeps nagging and nagging.

Punisher · Post by **Punisher** » Sat Jun 24, 2017 9:39 pm

Good luck!
Make sure it has built in WiFi to make firmware upgrades easier.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Sun Jun 25, 2017 12:55 am

Ouch, my crotch, er, my hip!

At least it isn't my balls this time.

KDH · Post by **KDH** » Sun Jun 25, 2017 5:07 am

It's Hippilicious

Make sure you ask your doctor about medical marijuana .. and handicap placards for your car .. and viagra

Default · Post by **Default** » Sun Jun 25, 2017 9:27 am

Holman wrote:And make sure to keep the old one, just in case!

Also, SOUP!

tgb · Post by **tgb** » Sun Jun 25, 2017 10:58 pm

I was told a couple of months ago I needed hip replacement surgery, but decided to put it off as long as possible. A cortisone shot works wonders (for as long as it lasts).

I'll soon need another.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Sun Jun 25, 2017 11:07 pm

Had to ge ta shot in my shoulder. Amazing how good that works.

Default · Post by **Default** » Mon Jun 26, 2017 11:07 am

They work if you are sedentary, 10 miles a day, not so much.

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:36 pm

Default wrote:
Holman wrote:And make sure to keep the old one, just in case!

Also, SOUP!

Surely SOMEBODY has done that.

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:37 pm

When's your surgery? I'll take you out for soup when it's done.

malchior · Post by **malchior** » Mon Jun 26, 2017 10:12 pm

Default wrote:They work if you are sedentary, 10 miles a day, not so much.

Ugh tell me about it. Not in hip replacement territory yet but my it bands hurt all the time now. They hurt lying down at this point.

Default · Post by **Default** » Tue Jun 27, 2017 10:31 am

I go see the surgeon in a week, so I will have a better idea how long l will be out. Fortunately, our sick leave rolls over from year to year, so l have about 4 months of it. I'd have to carry disability insurance, if l had a different job.

Default · Post by **Default** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:55 am

August 14th, I get it ripped out. After I wake up from the surgery, they will have me walking a few steps.

The next day, some more walking, then they release me into the wild.

I'll be staying at a friend's house where there are few steps, then I will be going back to my house. Because I have a stick and my clutch hip is being replaced, I will have to borrow one of the kids' Civics if I need to go anywhere.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:09 am

Cool, so I'll still be as good as new for that September marathon you're running! It is a bionic hip, right?

Default · Post by **Default** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:15 am

Jeff V wrote:Cool, so I'll still be as good as new for that September marathon you're running! It is a bionic hip, right?

You don't make money running a marathon.

And yes, I am looking forward to being a cybernetic killing machine.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:20 am

Default wrote: You don't make money running a marathon.

Don't tell Kenya, 3/4 of their GDP is prize money from distance races.

Now, are you going to be a benevolent killing machine like Robocop or an evil one like the other Robocop?

Default · Post by **Default** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:40 am

Jeff V wrote:
Default wrote: You don't make money running a marathon.
Don't tell Kenya, 3/4 of their GDP is prize money from distance races.

Now, are you going to be a benevolent killing machine like Robocop or an evil one like the other Robocop?

Yes.

tgb · Post by **tgb** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 10:20 am

Have they told you how long PT will last? Sounds like you'll be doing it in-house, which is what I will need in order to keep working. From my own research I guess you have to re-learn how to do things like tie your shoes and pick up boxes, at least for the short term. Any discussion on that?

hentzau · Post by **hentzau** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:08 am

It is kind of funny how we are now moving from vasectomy discussions to knee and hip replacement discussions, no doubt to move on to cataract surgery discussion soon.

Tracking the graying of OO via our surgery discussions.

tgb · Post by **tgb** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:30 am

hentzau wrote: cataract surgery

Three years ago. And as anyone who has had it done can tell you, it is one of the strangest procedures a person can go through.

Not unpleasant. Just odd.

KDH · Post by **KDH** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 11:43 am

...

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him .. we have the technology .. better, faster, stronger

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 1:13 pm

KDH wrote:...

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him .. we have the technology .. better, faster, stronger

Let's not overstate though. He's getting a bionic ass, after all.

Default · Post by **Default** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 2:31 pm

I can aready crack Brazil nuts with my buttocks, so the implied upgrade fills me with glee. PT will be inhome and based on strengthening the muscles and making it easier to move around, which prevents bloodclots. I will be on cumatin as a preventative. It will be strange to not have the constant lower back issues.

Oddly enough, l will be cleared for sex before l'm cleared to drive a stick shift.

My Subaru is wasted...

Default · Post by **Default** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 2:33 pm

hentzau wrote:It is kind of funny how we are now moving from vasectomy discussions to knee and hip replacement discussions, no doubt to move on to cataract surgery discussion soon.

Tracking the graying of OO via our surgery discussions.

Three for three!
(Actually, for vision correction, but, same deal)

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 2:41 pm

Default wrote:cumatin

Coumadin (warfarin)

KDH · Post by **KDH** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 7:53 pm

..
or try to get a prescription for Huma-Abedin

Spoiler:

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:07 pm

Default wrote:Oddly enough, l will be cleared for sex before l'm cleared to drive a stick shift.
My Subaru is wasted...

Get creative.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:35 pm

When I go to the doc next week Im telling them Im done with experimenting with new drugs.....just give me my old one back or dont give me anything and let me hurt because I dont want to be a kickback guinea pig with stuff that has bad side effects or can kill me.

Default · Post by **Default** » Thu Jul 13, 2017 9:13 pm

I'm not on any drugs.

Maybe I should be?

Default · Post by **Default** » Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:54 am

Recovery time for nearly everything is six to eight weeks, except for extreme bending, like touching my toes.

Postal "full recovery" where I can go back to working ten hours a day, is more like six months. In the mean time, I need to order a raised toilet seat and some other items to avoid dislocating the replacement hip on the incision side of the hip. One of the things that is verboten is crossing the legs, even at the ankles.

The nuns are going to be so angry at me....