Can I call you? (work anxiety)

[coopasonic]

At work we have about 300 different ways to interact with someone including skype with screen sharing, slack (modern IRC), desk phones, mobile phones, email, meetings, both scheduled and drive-by, etc.

I am what you might call a knowledge worker, more useful for what I know than what I do. Many people consult with me on how things work or what things mean. That means I am pinged on skype, slack and email all the time. I generally either provide the necessary information on the spot or ask for an email (my inbox is my todo list) and I will get back to them with the info when I can. A few times a week I see "Can I call you?" pop up on my screen. This triggers something that I wouldn't call a panic attack, but maybe a panic attack light. My heart rate increases and I start thinking of ways to avoid being called. It's not because I don't want to work. If they typed out what they wanted I would likely take care of it right away, but the idea of a call that isn't scheduled (yes, that's a key factor), freaks me out.

WTF?

[Paingod]

People often like to give bad news as "in person" as possible and don't schedule it. You have an adverse reaction to that uncertainty. My best guess.

[Isgrimnur]

For the love of all that is carb-heavy, never tell me that you need to meet with me later. You will spend me into a paranoid tailspin that will ruin my productivity until said meeting, while spiking my stress level.

[LordMortis]

Unplanned meetings with no itinerary always produce serious anxiety.

I think it dates back to SEE ME! in red on paper in elementary school.

[Rip]

How about when you are working something and someone tells you.

"When you are finished with this we need to talk."

Hate that shit.

That said there are some people that when I see their name in the unread e-mail list gives me anxiety. Usually I open it and find it was unwarranted.

[killbot737]

I only panic about "right now" phone calls when it comes from someone above me in my direct chain of command. Otherwise I know it's just somebody who wants to ask questions and it's probably faster to talk than IM or email.

[malchior]

I dislike this too but sometimes it is necessary when something is a little complicated. That said I prefer to still get it electronically because I might need time to think about it or do some light research.

I also insist on voice when coordinating things. Texts/skype/whatever is generally shit for coordinating and sequencing things. Only for sharing a timeline and that's it.

[Kraken]

I hate the telephone. I always get anxious when the voicemail indicator lights up. As much as I want to ignore voicemail, I'm compelled to find out right away who's bothering me about what. I can delete 90% of them without responding. 75% of them are telemarketers, 15% are people too stupid to use the internet, and the other 10% have legitimate questions or (shudder) complaints.

I've gotten worse about it since I decided to close Curio City. Now when someone says "Yeah, I'd like to order ______," I think to myself "Gee, if only there was some way you could do that online," and delete the message. The dollar I would make on your $10 order doesn't cover the 30 minutes it will take me to earn it.

[The Meal]

My least favorite message (any medium) is "call me."

Leave me some inkling about what we're to discuss (if you actually want to hear back from me).

[Jeff V]

I hate the telephone. I always get anxious when the voicemail indicator lights up.

Mine only goes off when I get around to deleting all of the messages I've ignored. Some of them are from people who called me when I wasn't at my desk. Others were from unknown numbers. Still others I just didn't want to talk to.

I prefer email/text messages because that gets saved forever, and I can deal with multiple instances at once. I dislike phone calls because I can only focus on one thing (that one thing is not always the call that I'm on). My boss, however, bucks the trend of every IT manager since the dawn of the information age and prefers we call people and talk instead of email or messages. No records, no reminders of action items, none of the benefits that make having a record very useful. I usually wait until smoke is coming out of his ears before I finally make a call.

[Jeff V]

I hate the telephone. I always get anxious when the voicemail indicator lights up.

Mine only goes off when I get around to deleting all of the messages I've ignored. Some of them are from people who called me when I wasn't at my desk. Others were from unknown numbers. Still others I just didn't want to talk to.

I prefer email/text messages because that gets saved forever, and I can deal with multiple instances at once. I dislike phone calls because I can only focus on one thing (that one thing is not always the call that I'm on). My boss, however, bucks the trend of every IT manager since the dawn of the information age and prefers we call people and talk instead of email or messages. No records, no reminders of action items, none of the benefits that make having a record very useful. I usually wait until smoke is coming out of his ears before I finally make a call.

[Jeff V]

My least favorite message (any medium) is "call me."

Even when it comes from Debbie Harry?

[The Meal]

My least favorite message (any medium) is "call me."

Even when it comes from Debbie Harry?

Exceptions could be made.

[gameoverman]

The problem I have with calling(audio or video), and maybe this applies to you, is that it requires me to be available at a set time. If someone wants to call me "around 1pm sound good?" that means I need to be available for a phone call 'around' 1pm. I hate that.

Text, email, etc are ways that I can deal with the communications on my own time, which is what I prefer.

[LordMortis]

Text, email, etc are ways that I can deal with the communications on my own time, which is what I prefer.

If only. Everything is now. now. now. I look forward to retirement when the only thing not done in my own time is paying bills.

[Isgrimnur]

Paying bills should totally be done in your own time. I sit down on the weekend after payday and pay everything out as far as I can, making sure I have the funds. If there's a bill that won't post for a couple days, but I still want to pay it out, I'll schedule a delayed payment.

I get paid again on the 6th. I don't have a bill that's due until the 21st that I have to pay. The car insurance will autodraft on the 15th.

[silverjon]

Phone anxiety is very much a thing. So are troubles with auditory processing.

If someone leaves me voicemail, I will probably have to play it back a minimum of 3 times to get a callback number, and I still may not get it right. If I can find the person's email and reply to their inquiry that way, it's way better for me.

But some people don't understand the written word very well, so I try to be accommodating to folks who desperately want to talk to me on the phone.

[Kraken]

Phone anxiety is very much a thing. So are troubles with auditory processing.

If someone leaves me voicemail, I will probably have to play it back a minimum of 3 times to get a callback number, and I still may not get it right. If I can find the person's email and reply to their inquiry that way, it's way better for me.

But some people don't understand the written word very well, so I try to be accommodating to folks who desperately want to talk to me on the phone.

I am conversationally awkward. I have trouble perceiving when it's my turn to talk, and I have trouble understanding people on the phone. I hate telephone calls, even when they're benign. But yeah, I recognize that some people can't parse the written word...I run into them regularly, and I sometimes accommodate those who are trying to give me money.

[Anonymous Bosch]

At work we have about 300 different ways to interact with someone including skype with screen sharing, slack (modern IRC), desk phones, mobile phones, email, meetings, both scheduled and drive-by, etc.

I am what you might call a knowledge worker, more useful for what I know than what I do. Many people consult with me on how things work or what things mean. That means I am pinged on skype, slack and email all the time. I generally either provide the necessary information on the spot or ask for an email (my inbox is my todo list) and I will get back to them with the info when I can. A few times a week I see "Can I call you?" pop up on my screen. This triggers something that I wouldn't call a panic attack, but maybe a panic attack light. My heart rate increases and I start thinking of ways to avoid being called. It's not because I don't want to work. If they typed out what they wanted I would likely take care of it right away, but the idea of a call that isn't scheduled (yes, that's a key factor), freaks me out.

WTF?

Just send a simple reply: "No, sorry my workload is full. But if you type the issue in a response, I'll do what I can to help."

Repeat as necessary until the penny drops.

[Carpet_pissr]

Phone anxiety is very much a thing. So are troubles with auditory processing.

Whoa, I wonder if that is my problem. I went to the ENT again this year (forget I went last year I guess!) because I thought I had hearing loss. Guy looked at me, looked at my perfect scores (again), and said "you're awfully young to be coming in for hearing tests so often"

Especially on the phone, I have TERRIBLE comprehension even in English. I thought it was an actual hearing problem, because it sometimes happens in person as well (especially if there are a lot of people around). I also think this has gotten much worse, or started in the last several years. No idea what the problem is, but apparently it's not a hearing issue (that can be tested at least).

[Isgrimnur]

My family's motto is, "What?!" We definitely have speech comprehension issues.

I can be looking directly at someone and not be able to make out what they say until like the third attempt, or I ask them to rephrase it. And I worked in call centers for 11 years.

[GreenGoo]

I'm calling coop on steam right now, just for the lolz.

just kiddin' coop.

[Kraken]

Especially on the phone, I have TERRIBLE comprehension even in English. I thought it was an actual hearing problem, because it sometimes happens in person as well (especially if there are a lot of people around). I also think this has gotten much worse, or started in the last several years. No idea what the problem is, but apparently it's not a hearing issue (that can be tested at least).

Cell phone audio quality is abysmal compared to landline. Remember when carriers used to advertise "you can hear a pin drop"? Yeah, they competed (in part) on clarity. Now they brag if they don't drop your calls. I frequently have to play a voicemail 3-4 times to understand the caller's name and number, and in realtime calls I'm also asking people to repeat themselves.

In personal conversation I have trouble separating voices from background noise. If there's any noise at all voices kind of phase in and out. Some people just have trouble separating frequencies, I guess. My hearing tests fine for someone my age, disregarding tinnitus.

Then there's the attentional aspect. My mind checks out if you start talking about your kids or grandkids.

[Victoria Raverna]

Especially on the phone, I have TERRIBLE comprehension even in English. I thought it was an actual hearing problem, because it sometimes happens in person as well (especially if there are a lot of people around). I also think this has gotten much worse, or started in the last several years. No idea what the problem is, but apparently it's not a hearing issue (that can be tested at least).

Cell phone audio quality is abysmal compared to landline. Remember when carriers used to advertise "you can hear a pin drop"? Yeah, they competed (in part) on clarity. Now they brag if they don't drop your calls. I frequently have to play a voicemail 3-4 times to understand the caller's name and number, and in realtime calls I'm also asking people to repeat themselves.

In personal conversation I have trouble separating voices from background noise. If there's any noise at all voices kind of phase in and out. Some people just have trouble separating frequencies, I guess. My hearing tests fine for someone my age, disregarding tinnitus.

Then there's the attentional aspect. My mind checks out if you start talking about your kids or grandkids.

People with tinnitus probably train themselves to tune out sound/noises. I know I do that. It is the only way for me to handle the tinnitus without going crazy.

[Shinjin]

So are troubles with auditory processing.

Have you tried using the other ear when you are on the phone?

One of my sons has an audio processing disorder. He had seizures as an infant and CT scan showed a shadow on his corpus callosum. He is 15 and processes significantly better when he gets the audio input through his right ear.

[silverjon]

In my case, I can't get much out of a podcast or other audio narrative if there are any distractions. I can understand videos much better if I can put on some kind of subtitle. I can relate to being utterly lost trying to carry on a conversation in a noisy atmosphere.

Comorbid with ADD, so I just don't take in information very efficiently that way. Better if it's quiet. Better if the speaker enunciates clearly and doesn't speak too fast. Better if I can actually see the speaker's face. Etc.

[em2nought]

I find this to be an interesting topic. I'm going to have to try using my other ear on the telephone. I wonder if lack of true communication can factor into hearing, such as living with someone who dictates rather than discusses issues?

[mori]

My job communication is 95% face to face and phone conversations. The only time I really communicate via email is with the IT guys. Just Friday I emailed a tech rep whom I have never met or interacted with before and described the issue I was having. I see it as a courtesy to email first before cold calling somebody. Especially if I don't have a past with them. Within 15 minutes he called me and wanted to talk it through rather than go through email. If I call IT, they are dumbfounded and want me to email them . If my boss tells me if he can call me, I say what do you want asshole. Like I give a shit. My old boss use to approach me and say, "Let's test your memory" and take me to his office for interrogation. Like I could remember my breakfast this morning let alone some obscure trivial moment 6 months ago.

[Unagi]

My old boss use to approach me and say, "Let's test your memory" and take me to his office for interrogation. Like I could remember my breakfast this morning let alone some obscure trivial moment 6 months ago.

You should have said, "You know how this ends, right? You, in a pit, in my basement, and I'm looking down saying 'Let's test your memory...' "...

[RuperT]

Hey, who misses beepers? Of course, as a young dude I actually thought it meant I was hot stuff.

[Rip]

Hey, who misses beepers? Of course, as a young dude I actually thought it meant I was hot stuff.

Hated those damn things. I had to carry one and if it went off it usually meant I was going to have to drop what I was doing and leave for anywhere from a few days to a month or more.

Of course I was paid well and got to travel but that didn't do much to dampen the anxiety every time it went off.

[Zarathud]

Don't ask to call. Call or don't call. If I don't want to or can't talk, you go to voice mail.

I hate to use email when the question is fuzzy and interaction is key -- coordinating schedules for 2 people, brainstorming or putting together an action plan should be done by phone. Email is great if you have one question, need a precise question answered or need to establish a record.

Sometimes I'll ping people on both voice mail and email to ask for a call back or give my contact information. But that's being annoying for a desired result -- making the connection.

[em2nought]

On the other hand I find constant text messagers to be highly unreliable and sometimes even shady.

[KKBlue]

I think it dates back to SEE ME! in red on paper in elementary school.

HA! I know, right.

BTW... has anyone heard from Coop?

[em2nought]

Apparently there is an app that can train your ear to understand speech better in noise. "Hear Coach" by Starkey Hearing Technologies https://play.google.com/store/apps/deta ... roid&hl=en

[Garnett]

I'm anxious about spam

Edited by ImLawBoy