Flirting with disaster at work - Hypothetical

[McNutt]

I don't get the big deal. People prioritize small work things all the time based on how they feel about the requestor. So Steve is receptive to some flirting. Is he screwing over other people for Sue or is he just giving her higher priority like he would with a friend?

That's probably going to end now that he knows her game, but this doesn't seem that out of the ordinary.

I remember an attractive coworker liking the chairs I had in my office and asking if I would switch with her chairs. I said no because I liked my chairs and was resistant to her fluttering eyelashes. She lost her flirty look and walked straight into the office next to mine, which was occupied by a less resistant man who even carried the his chairs to her office.

[gameoverman]

You can dress it up as you like, but a core part of this scenario is that Steve is doing something for her. She is getting something from him, at work, that other workers there are not getting.

That's why for me the defining part of this is whether he's doing it because they're work friends or is he doing it as part of a plan to start some kind of personal relationship. Is he doing it in hopes of having sex with her in other words. If they're work friends then her having a boyfriend doesn't change that.

A person could make your life hell at work and they don't need to be in a superior position over you to do it. In that same way, a person can make you work day a lot easier and they don't have to be in a superior position to do it. That's why I didn't immediately assume Steve was her superior and taking advantage of that.

[stessier]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but the work Steve is doing for Sue is all non-work related. They don't effect the business at all. Relegating her tasks to the bottom of the pile should do nothing negative to her work tasks and help everyone else in the queue.

He was being nice and helping her out, but now potentially won't be. We was stupid, but that's about it from my read.

Really?

Steve has the ability to do favors for Sue during the course of normal business. Little things, like make stuff for her use at work, home, or outside of work, prioritize her projects over others, etc.

Are they equals? That's the most important question.

As Freyland said, that is debatable. They are in different departments, but one depends on the other. The projects she is asking for do not impact the bottom line. They are personal in nature. The are not essential business.

Emphasis mine.

I assumed this meant they weren't even business related.

[Trent Steel]

Brotherhood of Forks

WAABUMBUMYEAH!

[Sectoid]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but the work Steve is doing for Sue is all non-work related. They don't effect the business at all. Relegating her tasks to the bottom of the pile should do nothing negative to her work tasks and help everyone else in the queue.

He was being nice and helping her out, but now potentially won't be. We was stupid, but that's about it from my read.

Really?

Steve has the ability to do favors for Sue during the course of normal business. Little things, like make stuff for her use at work, home, or outside of work, prioritize her projects over others, etc.

Are they equals? That's the most important question.

As Freyland said, that is debatable. They are in different departments, but one depends on the other. The projects she is asking for do not impact the bottom line. They are personal in nature. The are not essential business.

Emphasis mine.

I assumed this meant they weren't even business related.

They are only tangentially work related like making stuff to help her organize her office. I am being purposefully vague so as not to implicate anyone.

I'm glad this topic is being discussed. I, for one, won't say anything to either of them, but will avoid "Sue".

[LawBeefaroni]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but the work Steve is doing for Sue is all non-work related. They don't effect the business at all. Relegating her tasks to the bottom of the pile should do nothing negative to her work tasks and help everyone else in the queue.

He was being nice and helping her out, but now potentially won't be. We was stupid, but that's about it from my read.

Really?

Steve has the ability to do favors for Sue during the course of normal business. Little things, like make stuff for her use at work, home, or outside of work, prioritize her projects over others, etc.

Are they equals? That's the most important question.

As Freyland said, that is debatable. They are in different departments, but one depends on the other. The projects she is asking for do not impact the bottom line. They are personal in nature. The are not essential business.

Emphasis mine.

I assumed this meant they weren't even business related.

They are only tangentially work related like making stuff to help her organize her office. I am being purposefully vague so as not to implicate anyone.

I'm glad this topic is being discussed. I, for one, won't say anything to either of them, but will avoid "Sue".

Well, even that impacts the bottom line because they're both using a lot of work resources (time) for personal tasks. Steve doing shit for her and her supervising it. Of course if they're both millennials, that's cool I guess.


Seriously. Helping her organize her office? No wonder she has a boyfriend that's not Steve.

[LawBeefaroni]

Usually this is learned by high school.

[gameoverman]

They are only tangentially work related like making stuff to help her organize her office. I am being purposefully vague so as not to implicate anyone.

I'm glad this topic is being discussed. I, for one, won't say anything to either of them, but will avoid "Sue".

Since you are there and know these people, what's your opinion on Steve's reason for doing anything for her, no matter how insignificant that help might be? And why, in your first post, is your 'sense of justice' saying anything? That implies wrongdoing on someone's part but at this point in the story I see no one being wronged. I break it down like this:
1. Steve was attempting the 'nice guy' sneaky approach to women and failed- no one wronged.
2. Steve was merely acting as a workplace friend, so when he finds out she has a bf- no one wronged.

The lie that she didn't have a bf when she really did have one is inconsequential. Since Steve at no time was honest about his personal intentions, if he had any, then he wasn't misled. She could have a bf, a gf, a husband, a wife, or all of the above and it doesn't mean jack shit to Steve since they are merely coworkers. So there is no 'justice' required due to that lie. At most you can say she'll lie to you if it benefits her in some way, so keep that in mind. It doesn't mean she's a bad person or you can't get along, just that you can't trust her.

[Sectoid]

At most you can say she'll lie to you if it benefits her in some way, so keep that in mind. It doesn't mean she's a bad person or you can't get along, just that you can't trust her.

To me, being trustworthy and a nice person go hand in hand. You may not think so, but I do. If her morals say she did nothing wrong, she wasn't brought up right.
In my mind, and again, this is MY mind, she knew full well that saying she didn't have a boyfriend without provocation, is tantamount to saying "I'm open for advances. So, do this for me and we'll see..." That may be presumptuous for some people, but c'mon. If he asked and she said she didn't have one, that is a completely different story. He is opening the can of worms. You can say it doesn't really matter either way, but if I said "Hey do you want to come over tonight and have some pizza?" to a friend and when they showed up there was no pizza and my response was "I asked if you wanted to have some pizza, not that I would provide it." They would think I was being a dick and rightfully so.

[gameoverman]

I disagree with your reasoning, mainly because it assumes Steve in this case is entitled to know anything about her personal life. I don't think that is true. They are merely co-workers. So there's no obligation there to divulge any information which has no relevance to their work.

On the other hand, you seem to confirm that Steve's hope was for something personal to happen between them. That's why you characterize her actions as leading him on, he can't be lead on if he has no interest in a personal relationship. Then he becomes the bad guy. That's because if he wanted to see if she was interested in pursuing a relationship outside of work then he should have been honest about that before he started doing favors for her.

That's why I then see it as yeah, she tricked him into doing things for her but it's okay, because he thought he was tricking her with his nice guy act when that was just his chosen method for getting something more from her. That's why I think then that his only reason for getting mad is he got outplayed, she beat him at his own game. If, before he did anything for her, he had been honest about his intent then none of this happens. Either she's interested or she isn't, but he wouldn't have done all these things for her for nothing.

[Jeff V]

It also seems to me she was raised quite well, coached to take advantage of a situation knowing that if things go bad, it's quite likely she can effectively get rid of the problem merely by filing a harassment complaint with HR. Had she done a better job of caring or feeding her gift horse, though, I bet should could have gotten a lot more out of the deal.

When the quid-pro-quo expect for work favors is not work favors in return, bad things happen.

[Sectoid]

She's at it again!
This time, she is fleecing the whole company and others as well.
She made up a raffle. Let me clarify. She bought a LG 40" 4K TV and is raffling it off for $10 a ticket. By my estimation, she bought it for about $350 on sale and is trying to sell 100, $10 raffle tickets. So her net will be around $650 (minus sales taxes for the TV), if they all sell. She only has to sell 35 to break even. There is no charity she is doing this for, she is doing it for herself. This is all illegal, by the way, in NJ.
Man, scammers be scammin'.

[McNutt]

Your office is allowing her to hold a personal raffle?

And who in the hell buys tickets to that kind of "raffle?"

[Smoove_B]

She has to possess nude photos of someone in HR because I've never heard of something that crazy - and I've seen some crazy things.

[Sectoid]

I think they are going with the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy on this one. No one is asking her about it and she isn't advertising it on any company-related stuff (like email or posting it anywhere). She'll just go to people's desks on her breaks and sell them the tickets. She's sold quite a few, by the way. Most people probably assume it is for some charitable organization or church or something. Unless she is asked, she doesn't say it is not. The problem being since it is her own, personal raffle, what is to stop her from saying "congratualtions, my best friend won", when she really didn't even have a drawing?

[El Guapo]

You should probably sleep with her to make sure that you get that TV.

[McNutt]

Yes, there will be no drawing. "The T.V. was won by Mr. John Cochtosten."

[Sectoid]

You should probably sleep with her to make sure that you get that TV.

All kidding aside, if it was a "no-strings-attached" situation, I would. Realistically, I'd look like a mummy with all the strings that would be attached.

[RunningMn9]

Yeah, that is straight up illegal in NJ. I would have no trouble at all turning Sue in for such a gross breach of workplace etiquette.

[Carpet_pissr]

Also, that TV is shite. Just sayin. No reason to settle for that POS when so many better TVs on the market these days.

[Smoove_B]

You're an upstanding dude with some technical skills. Why not offer to help her get this raffle information to a NJ media outlet for additional promotion? Surely she wants to cast a wide net to increase donations to her charitable cause. Or maybe just print this out and leave a copy on her desk?

[Paingod]

Or maybe just print this out and leave a copy on her desk?

Anyone buying into her personal raffle is a sucker, and she knows this, which probably makes her a sociopath at best and a psychopath at worst.

I love the idea of printing it off, but might quietly post a copy of it in the break room for any/all staff members to use. "Run your own legal raffle! Apply now!" I'd print as a cover page.

[Kraken]

I suppose asking you to score me a couple of tickets is out of the question now.

[gilraen]

Yeah, that is straight up illegal in NJ. I would have no trouble at all turning Sue in for such a gross breach of workplace etiquette.

That's way more than just a breach of workplace etiquette. Sectoid is a much nicer person than I am - I'd be on the phone with Consumer Affairs turning her in the moment she walked away from my desk.

[pr0ner]

She's at it again!
This time, she is fleecing the whole company and others as well.
She made up a raffle. Let me clarify. She bought a LG 40" 4K TV and is raffling it off for $10 a ticket. By my estimation, she bought it for about $350 on sale and is trying to sell 100, $10 raffle tickets. So her net will be around $650 (minus sales taxes for the TV), if they all sell. She only has to sell 35 to break even. There is no charity she is doing this for, she is doing it for herself. This is all illegal, by the way, in NJ.
Man, scammers be scammin'.

Soooo...why aren't you reporting her if it's illegal?

[Smoove_B]

As stated earlier, this woman clearly has nude photos of someone in HR. If Sectoid doesn't play along and pretend like he's ok with it, he'll be targeted for retribution when there's a crackdown. So unless he's already purchased a ticket, sending out a "it's not ok" vibe will paint a target on his back. In essence, he needs to develop plausible deniability before unleashing the hounds. Be smart.

[Punisher]

I think they are going with the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy on this one. No one is asking her about it and she isn't advertising it on any company-related stuff (like email or posting it anywhere). She'll just go to people's desks on her breaks and sell them the tickets. She's sold quite a few, by the way. Most people probably assume it is for some charitable organization or church or something. Unless she is asked, she doesn't say it is not. The problem being since it is her own, personal raffle, what is to stop her from saying "congratualtions, my best friend won", when she really didn't even have a drawing?

For the record, have you asked what the raffle is for?

[Sectoid]

I think they are going with the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy on this one. No one is asking her about it and she isn't advertising it on any company-related stuff (like email or posting it anywhere). She'll just go to people's desks on her breaks and sell them the tickets. She's sold quite a few, by the way. Most people probably assume it is for some charitable organization or church or something. Unless she is asked, she doesn't say it is not. The problem being since it is her own, personal raffle, what is to stop her from saying "congratualtions, my best friend won", when she really didn't even have a drawing?

For the record, have you asked what the raffle is for?

Yes, I have. She told me it was for her. The pair of church bell balls on her...

[hepcat]

You should probably sleep with her to make sure that you get that TV.

Throw in a Kentucky Clap and Slap or a Seattle Sit and Spin while doing so for an upgrade to 4K!