My mom had a major stroke. [For real this time]

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:57 pm

And the fucking hospital didn't tell me. I had to learn from her convalescent facility. I havent been doing well lately. I busted up my shoulder real good a tear ago. Ive been struggling with major MAJOR depression and alchaholism and I cant even go visit her till monday because I got Chicken Pox and I wont be cleared till monday.

I prolly only have $15,000 left unspoken for. I will most likely have to leave my govt housing project so I was thinking of packing up the cats and moving where the work is plentiful and the rent is cheap.

I know how expensive the cats are but somehow I MUST keep my cats. My biggest fear in the world is being homeless and my cats dying. They are the ONLY family I have left.

So here is what Im asking. Where do I go... What do I do?
I have zero idea what to do next.

I got the idea from the nurse that mom may not make it. So any and all life advice is appreciated.

I think my only goal in life right now is keeping the rest of my family close.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:25 pm

First of all you have to hope for the best.
My wife had a major stroke 6 years ago and has been pretty much invalid ever since. It's been a full time job for me.
People do recover from strokes to one degree or another. All you can do is wait and see how much she recovers before deciding what to do.
There are government programs to take care of people depending on their needs from a part time nurse to a nursing home.
You're just going to have to wait to find out.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:48 pm

IDK if a place where work is plentiful and rent is cheap exists. People follow jobs and rents follow people. If you do find such a place, it's going to have other strikes against it, so find out what those are if they aren't obvious (like "it's Alaska, what more do you need to know?").

You don't need plentiful jobs, though -- just one good one. I'd EITHER target a few places where the cost of living is low and look for work there, OR target a place where the economy is strong and look for a high-paying job there. Don't uproot your life unless you're confident that the job is solid. I would personally go for the more desirable place with more options. At least then if things go south you're in a desirable place with a chance to land on your feet.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:52 pm

I don't have any life advice but I'm sorry for your mother and where it puts in you life.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:04 pm

Kraken wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:48 pm IDK if a place where work is plentiful and rent is cheap exists. People follow jobs and rents follow people. If you do find such a place, it's going to have other strikes against it, so find out what those are if they aren't obvious (like "it's Alaska, what more do you need to know?").

You don't need plentiful jobs, though -- just one good one. I'd EITHER target a few places where the cost of living is low and look for work there, OR target a place where the economy is strong and look for a high-paying job there. Don't uproot your life unless you're confident that the job is solid. I would personally go for the more desirable place with more options. At least then if things go south you're in a desirable place with a chance to land on your feet.

I was thinking somewhere within 50 miles of Portland Or. Works supposed to be good out there.

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:05 pm

I'm so sorry, man. I don't have any answers for you, but I'm wishing you the best.

Holman · Post by **Holman** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:54 pm

I'm sorry to hear this news. I hope you get better breaks soon, Drazzil.

Xmann · Post by **Xmann** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:55 pm

I'm a nursing supervisor on a acute rehabilitation unit in a hospital. 75% of our patients have had a stroke to some degree.

I could probably decipher some of her condition if you'd need me to.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Scuzz · Post by **Scuzz** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:05 pm

My Aunt had a major stroke in 2000, the doctors said it should have killed her. She lived until 2015. Sometimes you just never know.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:47 pm

Sorry about your mom Draz hope she improves.

For Government help just dont give up. Keep nagging them keep asking keep trying. Sometimes it takes a while to get any headway built up with them. Be patient and when you cant then let them know how long you've waited on something.

You're in CA right? Get out. Its too damn high there. Either move to a smaller town where its cheaper or get out totally. You like Alaska right? Find a cheaper town / state.

MHS · Post by **MHS** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:25 pm

I'm so sorry, Drazzil, that's rough. Wishing for the best for you both.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:36 pm

To echo Dae, don't move to some state with lousy social services. OR should be alright. Portland area is vital enough to afford lots of opportunity, and you like it there.

FWIW my dad, who was in poor health for many years, recovered fully from a stroke except for some residual numbness. It can happen.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:02 pm

Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:04 pm

And maybe the stroke too. I dont know 100% if a stroke is still in the cards. The main peoblem seems to be above.

Grifman · Post by **Grifman** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:34 pm

What happened to your job? Weren’t you working a while back? Sorry if I am behind.

And sorry about your mom.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:25 pm

Still have it although wont soon. My shoulder I think is too damaged to want to work warehouse again.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:25 pm

Grifman wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:34 pm What happened to your job? Weren’t you working a while back? Sorry if I am behind.

And sorry about your mom.

Still have it although wont soon. My shoulder I think is too damaged to want to work warehouse again.

Grifman · Post by **Grifman** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:38 pm

Daehawk wrote: ↑Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:47 pm Sorry about your mom Draz hope she improves.

For Government help just dont give up. Keep nagging them keep asking keep trying. Sometimes it takes a while to get any headway built up with them. Be patient and when you cant then let them know how long you've waited on something.

You're in CA right? Get out. Its too damn high there. Either move to a smaller town where its cheaper or get out totally. You like Alaska right? Find a cheaper town / state.

Alaska is anything but cheap.

Xmann · Post by **Xmann** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:10 am

Drazzil wrote:Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.

could you shed light on this? was she brought in for stroke symptoms or dehydration?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:55 am

My wife's latest stroke resulted in extremely high blood sugar which was shutting down her organs.
I believe strokes can cause all sorts of secondary problems.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:34 am

Xmann wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:10 am
Drazzil wrote:Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.
could you shed light on this? was she brought in for stroke symptoms or dehydration?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Apparently they are the same. Loss of responsiveness.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:36 am

Oh and a raging yeast infection which pops up every so often cause shes female and old and doesent know howto douche rather then soap.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 2:41 am

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:28 am

Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:34 am
Xmann wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:10 am
Drazzil wrote:Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.
could you shed light on this? was she brought in for stroke symptoms or dehydration?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
Apparently they are the same. Loss of responsiveness.

I’m no doctor, but I’m guessing that’s probably not the case.

Grifman · Post by **Grifman** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 12:45 pm

So, Drazzil, if she makes it back home, you really need to start planning for the future. It sounds like you are in subsidized senior housing (tell me if I am wrong), which you will lose when she finally passes. You really need to figure out your next steps, not that I have any real advice for you at this time.

Kurth · Post by **Kurth** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:08 pm

Sorry to hear about your Mom, Drazzil. Hope things improve.

One thing I can tell you about Portland, the housing situation is not great. The lack of affordable housing up here is a daily news item on NPR, and it significantly contributes to the epidemic of homelessness in and around the city. It's so bad, the temple I go to has converted its large multipurpose room to a temporary shelter this winter for homeless families. The extent of the problem here is heartbreaking.

Not to be doom-and-gloom about Portland. It's a great city with lots going for it. But the lack of affordable housing is a real issue, and I just thought you should be aware before zeroing in on Portland as a possible destination.

Xmann · Post by **Xmann** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 5:56 pm

Skinypupy wrote:
Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:34 am
Xmann wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:10 am
Drazzil wrote:Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.
could you shed light on this? was she brought in for stroke symptoms or dehydration?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
Apparently they are the same. Loss of responsiveness.
I’m no doctor, but I’m guessing that’s probably not the case.

I'm no doctor either, but I'm a RN with a lot of experience in cases like these. And while those conditions share similar symptoms, any healthcare professional can tell the difference in a stroke vs dehydration relatively quick.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:56 pm

Grifman wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 12:45 pm So, Drazzil, if she makes it back home, you really need to start planning for the future. It sounds like you are in subsidized senior housing (tell me if I am wrong), which you will lose when she finally passes. You really need to figure out your next steps, not that I have any real advice for you at this time.

Shes not in subsidized SENIOR housing but yes... yes I do.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:02 pm

Xmann wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 5:56 pm
Skinypupy wrote:
Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:34 am
Xmann wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:10 am
Drazzil wrote:Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.
could you shed light on this? was she brought in for stroke symptoms or dehydration?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
Apparently they are the same. Loss of responsiveness.
I’m no doctor, but I’m guessing that’s probably not the case.
I'm no doctor either, but I'm a RN with a lot of experience in cases like these. And while those conditions share similar symptoms, any healthcare professional can tell the difference in a stroke vs dehydration relatively quick.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

I dont have the whole picure from what I heard, she went in originally, was sedated had an mri, I didnt hear much... they released her back to the assisted rehab facility. Then she became unreponsive and was sent back. The hospital diagnosed her with renal failure. When the place checked her in they said she wasent eating or drinking and non responsive. I wondered why *I* hadnt been informed. *sighs*.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:04 pm

Kurth wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:08 pm Sorry to hear about your Mom, Drazzil. Hope things improve.

One thing I can tell you about Portland, the housing situation is not great. The lack of affordable housing up here is a daily news item on NPR, and it significantly contributes to the epidemic of homelessness in and around the city. It's so bad, the temple I go to has converted its large multipurpose room to a temporary shelter this winter for homeless families. The extent of the problem here is heartbreaking.

Not to be doom-and-gloom about Portland. It's a great city with lots going for it. But the lack of affordable housing is a real issue, and I just thought you should be aware before zeroing in on Portland as a possible destination.

No I noticed the homeless problem too. And that specifically gives me lots of pause.

Xmann · Post by **Xmann** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 1:01 am

Drazzil wrote:
Xmann wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 5:56 pm
Skinypupy wrote:
Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:34 am
Xmann wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:10 am
Drazzil wrote:Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.
could you shed light on this? was she brought in for stroke symptoms or dehydration?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
Apparently they are the same. Loss of responsiveness.
I’m no doctor, but I’m guessing that’s probably not the case.
I'm no doctor either, but I'm a RN with a lot of experience in cases like these. And while those conditions share similar symptoms, any healthcare professional can tell the difference in a stroke vs dehydration relatively quick.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
I dont have the whole picure from what I heard, she went in originally, was sedated had an mri, I didnt hear much... they released her back to the assisted rehab facility. Then she became unreponsive and was sent back. The hospital diagnosed her with renal failure. When the place checked her in they said she wasent eating or drinking and non responsive. I wondered why *I* hadnt been informed. *sighs*.

are you listed as the next of kin?regardless, sorry to hear about it.

how's she doing now? you have any update?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:10 pm

Xmann wrote: ↑Mon Feb 26, 2018 1:01 am
Drazzil wrote:
Xmann wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 5:56 pm
Skinypupy wrote:
Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:34 am
Xmann wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:10 am
Drazzil wrote:Well now we have a different peoblem. Not stroke, but dehydration and acute renal failure. I dont know if it was deliberate but I'm plenty pissed right now.
could you shed light on this? was she brought in for stroke symptoms or dehydration?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
Apparently they are the same. Loss of responsiveness.
I’m no doctor, but I’m guessing that’s probably not the case.
I'm no doctor either, but I'm a RN with a lot of experience in cases like these. And while those conditions share similar symptoms, any healthcare professional can tell the difference in a stroke vs dehydration relatively quick.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk
I dont have the whole picure from what I heard, she went in originally, was sedated had an mri, I didnt hear much... they released her back to the assisted rehab facility. Then she became unreponsive and was sent back. The hospital diagnosed her with renal failure. When the place checked her in they said she wasent eating or drinking and non responsive. I wondered why *I* hadnt been informed. *sighs*.
are you listed as the next of kin?regardless, sorry to hear about it.

how's she doing now? you have any update?

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

They moved her upstairs. Shes doing well.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Mon Feb 26, 2018 7:11 pm

I visited her the day before yesterday

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 4:57 pm

So I've been busy lately. I hadn't been to see her in about 2 weeks. I had been too busy to go out to visit her. I have a shoulder surgery tomorrow, and decided to hop out to see her. She had a stroke after being hospitalized for UTI (again!) Total paralysis of left side of the body. Her doctor mentioned that she might have been "over catheridized" in other words, instead of taking her to go piss when she needed to, they cathedirized her 24 7. I think the place they had her was kind of a shithole.

I had her insurance do an investigation on how she kept bouncing between the home and the hospital. I'm wondering if this is retaliliation.

So I go to see her today and they give me the info, ask about hospice care, and Im just kind of numb right now. I went to get her a nice basket of flowers and a baloon and a stuffed cat to keep her company. I dont know what else I can do.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:02 pm

I'm sorry to hear about her and your troubles, Drazzil. No one should be subject to medical neglect.

Medical Board of California - Complaints

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:07 pm

Oh btw. I will be fine. I am "inheriting" her subsidized housing. Me and the cats will be fine.

I am thinking to myself I can do anything now. All my adult life my life has always taken a back seat to caring for her and the vile collection of illnesses she went about picking up after years of sloth.

Now im free. Thats food... right?

pr0ner · Post by **pr0ner** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:10 pm

Drazzil wrote: ↑Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:07 pm Now im free. Thats food... right?

If you're a cannibal all of a sudden, I suppose so.

funnygirl · Post by **funnygirl** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:38 pm

pr0ner wrote: ↑Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:10 pm
Drazzil wrote: ↑Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:07 pm Now im free. Thats food... right?
If you're a cannibal all of a sudden, I suppose so.

Yeah, it took me a moment to realize that was likely a typo and you meant "good". I'm pretty sure you will be fine.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:49 pm

Usually happens to us all in some fashion or another. Doesn't make it easier...just different for all. Its something we share. Best of luck.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 7:16 pm

That's good news about the housing. Not-so-good about the stroke and hospice. Take it a step at a time, and don't do anything rash. You're at a fulcrum point that will affect the rest of your life...there will be peril, and there will be opportunity, and sometimes they'll be one and the same.