Octopus Overlords

I have been watching the tanking price of gold lately with some large amount of interest. It has always been my desire to own an OZ gold piece, to which I can get at 70 over spot, with no sales tax if I make up the other 300 or so in silver.

I'm looking at the economy and I'm thinking to myself, If I buy now and the economy tanks, might be fun to have around. If I need to sell real suddenly, I doubt I would lose more then $150 on the transaction.

I used to spend that on weed on a slow week. Now if I spend a hundred on weed in a month I'm sweating it. I used to love eating out like twice a day when I made money, now I eat out three times a week fast food... maybe. I'd spend like 20 or 25 every other day on beer. Now its like 30 or 40 a week. If that. Im winding down the weed and booze habits. A year ago I would spend 40 to 50 a week on cigars.

Today I smoked a stogey I bought two weeks ago. As an afterthought.

Then I remember all the other things that I should save the money for [like making sure the cats have homes] and I feel terrible feelings of guilt and remorse...

My clothing, furniture and electronics are so beat up and old I could walk out of my apartment tomorrow and not lose much of anything. I think PS4, IPAD and Laptop are savers. everything else is 20-30 y/o junk.

Sometimes I wake up after dreaming of gold coins TO THIS DAY. I will always squash the thought and the dream, my state of mind will dictate how much guilt I feel.

I'm also sure if I did the deed and spent the $1500 I would feel remorse.

I could use a bed but thats on hold because of the messiness of my living situation.

I need new lower control arms for my Corolla but thats the only major expenses I am looking at.

One of my oldest friends wants me to get my car fixed and come visit him in San Diego.

He says "I desperately need a vacation"

Anyone else tortured by thoughts of spending money on frivolous things?

If you're carrying any credit card debt, that's what you should spend your money on. Unless you have a 0% interest for a certain term credit card.

I don't really dream of buying frivolous stuff, I do think about starting a lawn service again so I could have some extra cash. I miss that type of manual work. I suppose that if I did, my mother would just start scheduling all sorts of medical appointments, and I'd have to give it up again in order to take care of her MORE AGAIN.

I've always thought it was great until I ran out of money.

Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 2:06 am I have been watching the tanking price of gold lately with some large amount of interest. It has always been my desire to own an OZ gold piece, to which I can get at 70 over spot, with no sales tax if I make up the other 300 or so in silver.
[...]

You already know the answer, or you wouldn't be asking the question.

You've been trying to change your life: a new job, a new place, new financial security, a new future.

Blowing money on a gold coin just because you want one is your old life.

The real question is, how much do you really want the changes you've been talking about, and how do you make them happen?

Forget shiny objects. You're after something more important.

No offense Drazz but you dont seem to have any money sense my man. And thats from a guy who isn't great at it either.....when I have any....which I dont. Not sure how to help you.

I think that’s exactly what your situation calls for.
A gold coin.
Your cats, too,will benefit. You could tie a sting to the coin and run it across the floor and they would love that. It would catch the light and drive em nuts.
You owe it to the cats.

I'll be honest, posts like this are why I have a hard time taking your whole "OO livejournal" shtick very seriously.

Get two. They get lonely.

Skinypupy wrote:I'll be honest, posts like this are why I have a hard time taking your whole "OO livejournal" shtick very seriously.

+1

Really? We’re talking about buying gold fucking coins here?

RunningMn9 wrote:

Skinypupy wrote:I'll be honest, posts like this are why I have a hard time taking your whole "OO livejournal" shtick very seriously.

+1

Really? We’re talking about buying gold fucking coins here?

I've been trying to give drazz the benefit of the doubt and support him, but I'm quickly losing sympathy to be honest.

RunningMn9 wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 1:09 pm

Skinypupy wrote:I'll be honest, posts like this are why I have a hard time taking your whole "OO livejournal" shtick very seriously.

+1

Really? We’re talking about buying gold fucking coins here?

Agreed. Everyone knows that cryptocurrency is the new gold!

I feel like we are either dealing with outright deception, or pathological self-sabotage. Either way I’m now struggling to find compassion. With all of the posts recently, to be sitting here asking us to talk him out of spending his absurd weed budget on fucking gold coins, which simultaneously lamenting where he will live.

How about this? Use the money from your weed budget to solve your housing crisis. Or your health crisis. Or any of the other crisis’ you’ve mentioned over the past months.

You don’t have a gold coin crisis. Don’t make one. It’s not goddamn rocket science.

RunningMn9 wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 2:40 pm I feel like we are either dealing with outright deception, or pathological self-sabotage. Either way I’m now struggling to find compassion. With all of the posts recently, to be sitting here asking us to talk him out of spending his absurd weed budget on fucking gold coins, which simultaneously lamenting where he will live.

How about this? Use the money from your weed budget to solve your housing crisis. Or your health crisis. Or any of the other crisis’ you’ve mentioned over the past months.

You don’t have a gold coin crisis. Don’t make one. It’s not goddamn rocket science.

The amount of money he was talking about spending on weed, beer, and cigars every week is mind blowing.

And the "OO livejournal" shtick has totally jumped the shark now. It was a little tiresome before, but, now, good lord.

I'm pretty sure I remember him years ago admitting he was just conducting a social experiment and I can't help thinking this is just more of that. In any case, if he is sincere, it seems he' s past the point of getting help from any of us. Especially when he seldom listens to any advice given. I mean when Daehawk says you're bad at managing money...

Yeah you guys are totally right. Its self sabotage all down the line. Its nucking futz. I will agree 110% but its like totally psychological. As for the beer and weed budget its no more.


But I think its an interesting phychological phenomenon and not one that I alone deal with. People suddenly deprived of money or jobs often struggle with ideas of spending money they dont have, people on diets struggle with dreaming about food. I'm not alone.

And as for those people jumping my case. I'm not actually going to buy the damn thing, and I am genuinely sorry for proposing the question. I just kinda wondered if anyone else struggled with thoughts or stupid purchase ideas.

Skinypupy wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:54 am I'll be honest, posts like this are why I have a hard time taking your whole "OO livejournal" shtick very seriously.

I'm sorry if it appears that way to you. I dont know what to say at this point. I'm kind of ashamed of myself for even thinking about shit like this.

Alefroth wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 4:54 pm I'm pretty sure I remember him years ago admitting he was just conducting a social experiment and I can't help thinking this is just more of that. In any case, if he is sincere, it seems he' s past the point of getting help from any of us. Especially when he seldom listens to any advice given. I mean when Daehawk says you're bad at managing money...

I feel pretty stupid for pondering this publically, and REALLY stupid for thinking this was a revenue neutral thing.

I am listening to advice. I am making positive steps and this is not a social experiment. Sorry for disappointing you guys.

I mean when Daehawk says you're bad at managing money...

Well Im not that great at it because I dont have any. Id do ok if I had some.

Daehawk wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 5:21 pm

I mean when Daehawk says you're bad at managing money...

Well Im not that great at it because I dont have any. Id do ok if I had some.

Having more doesn't mean you will be better at managing money.

But I could practice

You know guys. I have to post my most humble and sincere apologies for posting this shite. I didn't think this post through.

What I *meant* to say was that my stupid brain was trying to trick me into spending money I don't really have. I only have five possessions in the world that I care for. That being said, my brain has a set routine of spending money that it seems to be attached to.

In the past I made terrible decisions with money. I spent it on stupid shit to try and make friends. Mostly drugs and booze. I hated to cook so I would eat out ALL THE TIME. I am making no excuses for this other then to say when I had mom with me I was miserable.

I used to spend thousands a month on that stupid shit.

Since moms departure in January, and in truth, months before then I culled my spending to a ghost.

I think last six months I spent maybe $200/mo combined on all my bad habits. I'm making no excuses here either other then to say I'm weaning off.

Last month I spent around $125 total on all bad habits.

Next month I plan to spend $75. .

So my stupid brain says "See! You've been good!... Spend something *somewhere* You *deserve it!"

Four months ago I bought the surface then returned it.

I was thinking of buying a smoker from CostCo to do meat up real nice so I could have real smoked meat whenever. But nixed that idea after I realized that buying new stuff for the house would be stupid.

Im just really having trouble tricking myself into more and more austerity with only more belt tightening down the road.

You guys were just witness to one of the dumb ideas I hadn't the sense or guilt to quash.

For those of you that I made feel anger, hurt or that I wasn't listening. I can only offer my most humble and sincere apologies for this thoughtless and ill considered deviation into fantasy.

Please dont give up guys. Believe this or not but your advice and encouragement is some of the only real *good* going down in my life.

I just hope that the people I offended here will give my next tread a chance and forget about this one.

Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 7:44 pm I just hope that the people I offended here will give my next tread a chance and forget about this one.

I don't think "offense" is the right word here - after all, your bad decisions ultimately would have no effect on a bunch of strangers on the internet. "Exasperation" may be a better fit.

Drazzil wrote: ↑Sun Aug 05, 2018 7:37 pm Im just really having trouble tricking myself into more and more austerity with only more belt tightening down the road.

The problem with that mindset is that it's like an unsustainable diet - you cannot constantly deprive yourself, eventually you'll just snap.

You are a fairly young guy, and you are talking like someone who doesn't plan on ever having any other source of income. Get a damn job! Go work a minimum wage in a fast-food restaurant, if you have to. You wasted your education and years of your life working a warehouse job because it was convenient and required no mental effort. Now you are paying for that complacence. BTW, nothing wrong with having a beer (although apparently you spend more on booze in a week than I do on food, and I actually *have* money!) - but if you ever plan passing a pre-employment drug test, you have to ditch your weed habit, period.

Drazzil wrote:I just hope that the people I offended here will give my next tread a chance and forget about this one.

I’m not offended, I just don’t have any room left for compassion for such obvious self-sabotage. At some point you have to learn to handle your shit. If you were genuinely trying to handle your shit and circumstances were conspiring against you, it might be different.

But handling your shit really isn’t that complicated.

I had a dream about mom, and losing mom. And then I dreamed I lost my kitties and I woke up and four of my cats were cuddled in next to me and I realized that if I lose them I have nothing.

Im still crying. I have cared for others my whole life. I love my cats so much.

RunningMn9 wrote: ↑Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:00 am

Drazzil wrote:I just hope that the people I offended here will give my next tread a chance and forget about this one.

I’m not offended, I just don’t have any room left for compassion for such obvious self-sabotage. At some point you have to learn to handle your shit. If you were genuinely trying to handle your shit and circumstances were conspiring against you, it might be different.

But handling your shit really isn’t that complicated.

Yeah I can understand that. You dont want to waste your time and breath on someone who doesen't take it seriously.

I can only apologize and tell you that I'm going through a hell of a time. I lost my mom, lost my job, and am in the process of losing my place. I dont really think straight sometimes.

Sometimes everything seems up, like everythings going to be fine and like I can still do things like I used to but then other days I wake up and like I feel like shit.

Now I look at that original post and think I am burning my bridges here and losing out on valuable advice in the future and feel horrible about it.

You need a therapist/counselor.

Find one today.

The thing is, you've got the advice. You know what to do. If not, go back through the threads you've made this year, and write down each piece of advice, one by one, on paper.

You have your solution. When people get frustrated is when you say, "My hand hurts when I put it in fire", we say, "Take your hand out of the fire", and then you say, "My hand hurts when I put it in fire."

I posted it in one of your other posts that you have access to a service...call 211.

http://www.211.org/

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Mon Aug 06, 2018 2:33 pm The thing is, you've got the advice. You know what to do. If not, go back through the threads you've made this year, and write down each piece of advice, one by one, on paper.

You have your solution. When people get frustrated is when you say, "My hand hurts when I put it in fire", we say, "Take your hand out of the fire", and then you say, "My hand hurts when I put it in fire."

Yep. A huge part of why I'm so screwed up is because my self esteem is so low. I kind of perceive(d) my whole life as a failure up to this point. So its hard for me to overcome my depression, anxiety and feelings of worthlessness, and pointlessness long enough to actually *do* the things I need to, to improve my situtation. So when I *do* nothing, nothing happens.

Self fulfilling prophesy.

It doesen't help that when I actually *make* the effort to improve myself I tend to fail miserably. I end up feeling like I have no value, and that my current situation is inescapable.

Draz, if you're spending the money on weed and alcohol that you say, it's not going to be a simple matter of just deciding to spend less.

You want it to be that, and during the morning and into the early afternoon you'll believe it's that, but when 4:20 pm rolls around you'll discover some very special and particular reason why tomorrow instead of today is the day to begin quitting, and you'll head out to blow $20 or $40 or $60 on weed and alcohol just like before. And there goes the money, and you won't be any different or any happier.

You're posting because you want to tell someone, and you want to tell someone because you know it's a problem. Because you know it's a problem, you need to get serious, and getting serious means getting help.

I hardly know you, and I'm no saint, but I say this out of love: the first step towards financial and career change for you is getting help with your addictions, moderate as they might seem to you. Get yourself to AA or the equivalent. Part of the reason you make bad decisions is that your appetites are making all the decisions for you.

Drazzil wrote:A huge part of why I'm so screwed up is because my self esteem is so low. I kind of perceive(d) my whole life as a failure up to this point. So its hard for me to overcome my depression, anxiety and feelings of worthlessness, and pointlessness long enough to actually *do* the things I need to, to improve my situtation. So when I *do* nothing, nothing happens.

You aren’t being asked to overcome X, Y and Z to do things. You are being asked to stop doing A, B and C, which are actively making things worse.

Doing nothing would actually improve your situation. You are actively harming you me situation (self medicating with alcohol and weed, wanting to buy dumb shit, etc).

Step 1 isn’t to magically do everything you are supposed to do. Step 1 is to stop doing the shit that makes it worse.

RunningMn9 wrote: ↑Mon Aug 06, 2018 5:16 pm

Drazzil wrote:A huge part of why I'm so screwed up is because my self esteem is so low. I kind of perceive(d) my whole life as a failure up to this point. So its hard for me to overcome my depression, anxiety and feelings of worthlessness, and pointlessness long enough to actually *do* the things I need to, to improve my situtation. So when I *do* nothing, nothing happens.

You aren’t being asked to overcome X, Y and Z to do things. You are being asked to stop doing A, B and C, which are actively making things worse.

Doing nothing would actually improve your situation. You are actively harming you me situation (self medicating with alcohol and weed, wanting to buy dumb shit, etc).

Step 1 isn’t to magically do everything you are supposed to do. Step 1 is to stop doing the shit that makes it worse.

I 100% agree with this assessment. Throttling back a bad habit is not quitting. Quitting is quitting.

Quitting is hard as hell, and you'll need help to do it right.

The biggest obstacle to quitting is believing that telling yourself you're quitting is quitting.

Holman wrote: ↑Mon Aug 06, 2018 7:31 pm Quitting is hard as hell, and you'll need help to do it right.

The biggest obstacle to quitting is yourself

Ayup

Oh and I'm sorry if I'm reading into or LITERALLY misquoting Holman. It sounds true to me.

PS can someone tell me how I can access Facebook "communities"?

Drazzil wrote: ↑Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:01 pm PS can someone tell me how I can access Facebook "communities"?

This should be in a new thread.

Moliere wrote: ↑Tue Aug 07, 2018 12:10 am

Drazzil wrote: ↑Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:01 pm PS can someone tell me how I can access Facebook "communities"?

This should be in a new thread.

.... but seriously can someone tell me how to use. it?

And I think I'm going to make this the rolling thread for all things for now. See how it goes.