Octopus Overlords

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 3:15 pm**

Chrisoc13 wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 12:24 pm
Unagi wrote:So, just throwing this out there....

Think you can stay sober without an AA meeting? I think it sounds like (from what you've shared) you've practiced a great deal of self-control. Why not see if you can fly solo?
I don't think that's the best idea. I would look for other options first.

+1

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 3:16 pm**

Drazzil wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 2:32 pm I've had to "fly solo" for going on two weeks now. It is a lot harder.

So why does it have to be all or nothing? Why not at least go every few days if it's too pricey to go every day?

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 3:34 pm**

Moat_Man wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 1:40 pm
Unagi wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 12:21 pm So, just throwing this out there....

Think you can stay sober without an AA meeting? I think it sounds like (from what you've shared) you've practiced a great deal of self-control. Why not see if you can fly solo?
Please don't ever counsel someone who is being helped by AA, and clearly wants to continue participating, to stop going. That's not cool. They should be encouraged to go for as long as they need the help. For many people it is a lifetime commitment and they enjoy it.

What ever is working is fine (better than fine). and I'm not actually counseling him not to go, I was asking about how it felt to him and wondered if he felt he could. A simple "I don't think I could" is perfectly OK.

Please don't "that's not cool" me, as I was clearly trying to support him and give him some self confidence (well earned).
And I've known exactly 2 people who gave up booze, and also gave up AA and were glad to moved on from both - so the idea isn't "poison" (to all).

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 5:04 pm**

Unagi wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 12:21 pm So, just throwing this out there....

Think you can stay sober without an AA meeting? I think it sounds like (from what you've shared) you've practiced a great deal of self-control. Why not see if you can fly solo?

This is bad advise. If people could stay sober without AA meetings, there would be no AA meetings.
Addicts need a support system of some sort, be it counseling, AA, interventions etc.

Suggesting an addict reverts to flying solo can easily undo the strides that have been made by seeking support.

gilraen's suggestion is much better if cost is an issue, but please don't even entertain the thought of stopping completely.

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:49 pm**

stimpy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 5:04 pm
Unagi wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 12:21 pm So, just throwing this out there....

Think you can stay sober without an AA meeting? I think it sounds like (from what you've shared) you've practiced a great deal of self-control. Why not see if you can fly solo?
This is bad advise. If people could stay sober without AA meetings, there would be no AA meetings.
Addicts need a support system of some sort, be it counseling, AA, interventions etc.

Suggesting an addict reverts to flying solo can easily undo the strides that have been made by seeking support.

gilraen's suggestion is much better if cost is an issue, but please don't even entertain the thought of stopping completely.

is this piling on, or no? I mean, others have made your points. and you are clearly caught up.

but more to the point, I've already actually addressed it I think.

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 7:23 pm**

Really? Everything isn't about you, dude.
You presented an option. In it you say "Why not see if you can fly solo?"
That's a suggestion that I think wont work.
I stated my opposition to your option.
Don't be a dick, as difficult as that may be..

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:04 pm**

So, y'all are fighting about someone's sobriety in their absence. Please post again when you draw swords together or present adoption papers.

Posted: **Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:55 pm**

stimpy wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 7:23 pm Really? Everything isn't about you, dude.

Well, not 'everything'.

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:55 am**

Unagi wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 3:34 pm
Moat_Man wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 1:40 pm
Unagi wrote: ↑Fri Feb 08, 2019 12:21 pm So, just throwing this out there....

Think you can stay sober without an AA meeting? I think it sounds like (from what you've shared) you've practiced a great deal of self-control. Why not see if you can fly solo?
Please don't ever counsel someone who is being helped by AA, and clearly wants to continue participating, to stop going. That's not cool. They should be encouraged to go for as long as they need the help. For many people it is a lifetime commitment and they enjoy it.
What ever is working is fine (better than fine). and I'm not actually counselling him not to go, I was asking about how it felt to him and wondered if he felt he could. A simple "I don't think I could" is perfectly OK.

Please don't "that's not cool" me, as I was clearly trying to support him and give him some self confidence (well earned).
And I've known exactly 2 people who gave up booze, and also gave up AA and were glad to moved on from both - so the idea isn't "poison" (to all).

Clearly I'm not the only one that read, "Why not see if you can fly solo?" as advice to do just that. I get that you are trying to help, but here's the kicker. Even it was purely a question it's not a question you should ask someone attending AA. You obviously didn't understand that, but now that I've "That's not cooled" you, you know better, right?

Another thing you should understand, sobriety is serious business. You think that sports teams are superstitious when they get a winning streak? Don't fuck with a sobriety streak. Peoples lives are at stake.

Also, please understand that some people can be fiercely protective of other people's sobriety for.... reasons. This means they may react sharply when they believe that someone else might be cavalier with the sobriety in question. Temper your reaction accordingly, or don't. This is the internet after all.

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:32 am**

Moat_Man wrote: ↑Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:55 am Clearly I'm not the only one that read, "Why not see if you can fly solo?" as advice to do just that.

As my post started, I was just throwing it out there, as I wanted to hear what Drazzil's thoughts were on it. It's as simple as that.

For instance, I didn't say: "You know, I think you should try and just blow off AA and do it by yourself." So, relax internet - I was talking to Drazzil to get a feel for where his mind was at with it.

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:33 am**

Moat_Man wrote: ↑Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:55 am Even it was purely a question it's not a question you should ask someone attending AA. You obviously didn't understand that, but now that I've "That's not cooled" you, you know better, right?

I will certainly give you that. I didn't think the question itself was off limits to someone attending AA meetings. And for that, I apologize.

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 6:03 pm**

Unagi wrote: ↑Sat Feb 09, 2019 1:33 am
Moat_Man wrote: ↑Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:55 am Even it was purely a question it's not a question you should ask someone attending AA. You obviously didn't understand that, but now that I've "That's not cooled" you, you know better, right?
I will certainly give you that. I didn't think the question itself was off limits to someone attending AA meetings. And for that, I apologize.

I wasen't particularly offended by the question, I'm doing my best to cut costs here. I just got bent over and screwed with spectrum for a 200 dollar bill, so I called in with the intent of cancelling, but it turns out that I can get my home phone, internet and cell phone service for cheaper then just my internet fee if I switch my cell phone to spectrum, so that shaves (in theory) like 80 off my monthly expenses, so we'll see.

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 6:58 pm**

Drazzil wrote: ↑Sat Feb 09, 2019 6:03 pm home phone, internet and cell phone service

What's a "home phone"? Is that one of those old timey things connected to fax machines?

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 8:56 pm**

the only reason we still have our landline is because we have young kids (8-11) and they say it's easier for them to save your life with a landline phone (locate the phone and dial 911), than with your smartphone.

Can you just drop that home phone entirely?

Posted: **Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:25 pm**

Unagi wrote: ↑Sat Feb 09, 2019 8:56 pm the only reason we still have our landline is because we have young kids (8-11) and they say it's easier for them to save your life with a landline phone (locate the phone and dial 911), than with your smartphone.

Can you just drop that home phone entirely?

I could, but if or when mom comes home I don't want her without her number. It'd be impossible to get her to learn a new number after the stroke.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:40 am**

Oh, I didn't realize your mom was maybe coming back. I thought she was in an assisted-living situation now.
I guess I still don't think she would need to 'know' the number by heart in that situation... (a new number could be written by the phone if that eventually happens).

But for you to be paying for 2 phone numbers is sorta a luxury that I would think would be pretty obvious to cut back on.

Posted: **Sun Feb 10, 2019 8:52 pm**

Unagi wrote: ↑Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:40 am Oh, I didn't realize your mom was maybe coming back. I thought she was in an assisted-living situation now.
I guess I still don't think she would need to 'know' the number by heart in that situation... (a new number could be written by the phone if that eventually happens).

But for you to be paying for 2 phone numbers is sorta a luxury that I would think would be pretty obvious to cut back on.

Yeah I'm gonna dump the home phone.

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 1:55 am**

When and what was the last active step you took towards finding a job?

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:45 am**

I am almost 49 and I found a delivery job competing with the youngsters. Hahaha.

It was tough starting out.

I was broke but I actually started affording ****. The new PC being one such item. Sure, it's one-time splurge that needs to last me a couple years, but it's a good investment for me.

Posted: **Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:02 am**

Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Thu Dec 20, 2018 11:34 pm February 19th is the hospitality job fair. I'm sure that there will be opportunities there.

Also, you can probably get a job as a dishwasher and see about working your way up if you were so inclined.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:53 pm**

Moliere wrote: ↑Mon Feb 11, 2019 1:55 am When and what was the last active step you took towards finding a job?

It's been a while. I admit. I'm in a lot of pain lately from multiple sources. I'm bored as shit because I can't drive, depressed as hell because I lost my license and getting tired of sobriety. I recently stopped attending the AA meetings because of my transportation issues and discovering to my shock that no one gave enough of a shit about me to give me a ride, even after my attending and contributing daily for like five months.

I was then shocked to discover that no one even cared enough to call and see what was up when I suddenly stopped coming. I attended two different meetings, and for a bunch that is supposed to be so devoted to "community" that no one called.

I'm just sick and fucking tired of trying so hard when the whole goddamn world seems to be lined up to fuck me. Nothing I've done in the last five months seems to matter worth a shit.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:01 pm**

Drazzil wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:53 pmdiscovering to my shock that no one gave enough of a shit about me to give me a ride, even after my attending and contributing daily for like five months.

Maybe. Or maybe they're all struggling too and they can't help shoulder your burden while dealing with their own.

Nothing I've done in the last five months seems to matter worth a shit.

That's not true. You're still sober after 5 months. Don't minimize that - it's a BFD. I know you said non-transportation related AA options aren't as great but maybe not as great is better than nothing at all.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:03 pm**

The world isn't trying to fuck you. The world doesn't give a shit about you.

If you want something from the world, you have to step up and take the steps to obtain your goal.

Bad things happen to everyone. We lost DD* to cancer, one that he fought every step of the way. MHS is in the hospital because there is something actively trying to eat her kidney. Daehawk lost his wife. Remus lost his father.

Every last one of them is taking steps to improve their lives and get through their low times. All of us have times where we're tired of trying. But we get over it, get back up, and start trying to shape our corners of the world in the manner that we want. We may not always succeed, but we keep trying. Because the alternative is to give up and let life happen to us. And we've all seen what happens to people that check out.

So stop feeling sorry for yourself, make a plan, and make things happen. No one is going to hand you a happy life.

There's a job fair in a week. I'm sure there's a bus or five that goes to the college.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:19 pm**

I know, I suck. I'm not focused hard enough on what matters, sobriety isin't for others, its for me. What the external does shouldn't matter for me, so I can keep going forward or things will get worse for me and to top it off I won't be sober.

I know all these things and yet I can't help thinking nothing matters anyway.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:21 pm**

Thanks guys, gonna do something positive today.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:46 pm**

Just get a damn job already. Seriously, take a job ANYWHERE to get you jump started and out of this rut. You'll get a paycheck and confidence if nothing else. Somebody, somewhere close is hiring. I guranfreakingtit. Quit making excuses, it doesn't pay for shit.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:49 pm**

morlac wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:46 pm Just get a damn job already. Seriously, take a job ANYWHERE to get you jump started and out of this rut. You'll get a paycheck and confidence if nothing else. Somebody, somewhere close is hiring. I guranfreakingtit. Quit making excuses, it doesn't pay for shit.

At least not until he gets into politics.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:53 pm**

Maybe that IS the answer.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:59 pm**

morlac wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:46 pm Just get a damn job already. Seriously, take a job ANYWHERE to get you jump started and out of this rut. You'll get a paycheck and confidence if nothing else. Somebody, somewhere close is hiring. I guranfreakingtit. Quit making excuses, it doesn't pay for shit.

Seriously, this. There are tons of jobs out there - just get something and stop whining.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:32 pm**

Grifman wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:59 pm
morlac wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:46 pm Just get a damn job already. Seriously, take a job ANYWHERE to get you jump started and out of this rut. You'll get a paycheck and confidence if nothing else. Somebody, somewhere close is hiring. I guranfreakingtit. Quit making excuses, it doesn't pay for shit.
Seriously, this. There are tons of jobs out there - just get something and stop whining.

Amen:

U.S. job openings jump to their highest level in nearly two decades

CBS News wrote:Updated on: February 12, 2019 / 1:17 PM / AP

U.S. employers posted the most open jobs in December in the nearly two decades that records have been kept, evidence that the job market is strong despite several challenges facing the economy.

The Labor Department said Tuesday that job openings jumped 2.4 percent in December to 7.3 million. That is the most since records began in December 2000. It is also far greater than the number of unemployed people, which stood at 6.3 million that month.

If you're unable to find employment in a job market this favourable, it's because you really aren't looking.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:28 pm**

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:32 pm If you're unable to find employment in a job market this favourable, it's because you really aren't looking.

And if you're holding out for that good-paying professional marketing job with no experience and an aging degree, you're going to be holding out forever. This economy is the best you're likely to see, and it's only creating high- and low-end jobs with very few in-between.

1. Find a company you want to work for in a place where you want to live.
2. Get your foot in the door.
3. (???)
4. Profit!

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:42 pm**

Kraken wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:28 pm
Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:32 pm If you're unable to find employment in a job market this favourable, it's because you really aren't looking.
And if you're holding out for that good-paying professional marketing job with no experience and an aging degree, you're going to be holding out forever. This economy is the best you're likely to see, and it's only creating high- and low-end jobs with very few in-between.

1. Find a company you want to work for in a place where you want to live.
2. Get your foot in the door.
3. (???)
4. Profit!

And that's my problem. I won't go back to work for less then I made before, and I wont take a job making 10-13 an hour. Most of the work I see in my area are dead end sh-t jobs part time. The philosophy of "get your foot in the door" doesen't seem to work in my experience. I was hoping to use the DoR to find something, but I'm still struggling with that.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:48 pm**

Drazzil wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:42 pm
Kraken wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:28 pm
Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:32 pm If you're unable to find employment in a job market this favourable, it's because you really aren't looking.
And if you're holding out for that good-paying professional marketing job with no experience and an aging degree, you're going to be holding out forever. This economy is the best you're likely to see, and it's only creating high- and low-end jobs with very few in-between.

1. Find a company you want to work for in a place where you want to live.
2. Get your foot in the door.
3. (???)
4. Profit!
And that's my problem. I won't go back to work for less then I made before, and I wont take a job making 10-13 an hour. Most of the work I see in my area are dead end sh-t jobs part time. The philosophy of "get your foot in the door" doesen't seem to work in my experience. I was hoping to use the DoR to find something, but I'm still struggling with that.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:49 pm**

Drazzil wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:42 pm
Kraken wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:28 pm
Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:32 pm If you're unable to find employment in a job market this favourable, it's because you really aren't looking.
And if you're holding out for that good-paying professional marketing job with no experience and an aging degree, you're going to be holding out forever. This economy is the best you're likely to see, and it's only creating high- and low-end jobs with very few in-between.

1. Find a company you want to work for in a place where you want to live.
2. Get your foot in the door.
3. (???)
4. Profit!
And that's my problem. I won't go back to work for less then I made before, and I wont take a job making 10-13 an hour. Most of the work I see in my area are dead end sh-t jobs part time. The philosophy of "get your foot in the door" doesen't seem to work in my experience. I was hoping to use the DoR to find something, but I'm still struggling with that.

The economy is going to tank in the second half of this year or beginning of next, so you have a year at best to do it your way. Don't let the days go by or this thread will become "This economy SUUUCKS." (I recognize that it already DOES suck for those who aren't in the STEM fields, but it's going to suck even worse.)

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:58 pm**

If only there were a gathering in the near future of companies looking for college graduates...

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:38 pm**

Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:58 pm If only there were a gathering in the near future of companies looking for college graduates...

I'm going to make it to that job fair.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:20 pm**

Drazzil wrote:And that's my problem. I won't go back to work for less then I made before, and I wont take a job making 10-13 an hour. Most of the work I see in my area are dead end sh-t jobs part time.

Always with you, it cannot be done. .... That is why you fail.

The best way to find a job is to have a job you don't like. Your resume will be better. Your motivation will be higher. You won't be mopey and bitter. An interviewer will know you want the job.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:25 pm**

Yeah, I was going to say that no one would expect you land a career placement at this job fair. instead, get a job. Get back into the routine of working. Get back into hating a new boss or your coworkers. As pointed out, use that motivation to find a better job. You can't just jump from nothing to career.

Posted: **Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:32 pm**

How much time have you spent at the career center practicing your job fair pitch? Your interview skills? Polishing your resume appearance?

Posted: **Wed Feb 13, 2019 2:15 am**

Drazzil wrote: ↑Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:42 pm And that's my problem. I won't go back to work for less then I made before, and I wont take a job making 10-13 an hour.

Michelle has spent months busting her ass in this tiny town (and the bordering towns) trying to get a job, any job, with a five-year gap in her resume. She'd take something for a fraction of that just so we're not falling deeper in debt each and every month. We'd dearly love to find something for those numbers

And you're too good for it? It's not up to your standards?

Princess, get off your high horse before you ride it over that cliff.

Octopus Overlords

Drazzil Mega Thread: Round table panel skills presentation +Took a home drug test for THC; failed at 45 days sobriety.

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