Bagels suck

Ralph-Wiggum · Post by **Ralph-Wiggum** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:59 pm

You thinking that emoji is photo-realistic explains a lot about the quality of bagels you've based your opinions on...

Archinerd · Post by **Archinerd** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 2:17 pm

It is when compared to the other bagel emojis.
I'm not convinced Microsoft or Twitter even realize bagels are food.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 2:48 pm

But Google has sesame seeds on it so it wins.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:04 pm

Those emojis seem to imply that some people eat their bagel closed, like a sandwich. This is strange and frightening.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:08 pm

Twitter and Google look like some unholy burger-like monstrosity.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:09 pm

You do eat a bagel like it's a sandwich if you get it from Tim Horton's, toasted, with an egg, sausage, and cheese in it. For two bucks, no less. Screw the east coast "there is only one way to Bagel." Tim Horton's got it goin' on. And that cheese is American, so you get to piss off Canadian East Coast Millenials for having no culture. So it's especially a threefer yummy. It could run for GOP office.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:11 pm

With egg, sausage, and cheese you are eating a sandwich, not a bagel. The bagel becomes an element, not the feature. You don't get a burger and say you're eating a bun!

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:18 pm

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:11 pm With egg, sausage, and cheese you are eating a sandwich, not a bagel. The bagel becomes an element, not the feature. You don't get a burger and say you're eating a bun!

You do if Friendly's were still around here, circa 1990. Friendly's has sour dough bun that totally made an otherwise 'meh' burger.

What you doin for viddles tonight?
Headin to Friendly's for the Sour Dough
arggghh yeah.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:40 pm

Archinerd wrote: ↑Thu Oct 18, 2018 2:17 pm It is when compared to the other bagel emojis.
I'm not convinced Microsoft or Twitter even realize bagels are food.

I disagree with the Google image. I have a Pixel (so straight Google Android) and the bagel is a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.

Never mind - I found it. But searching for "bagel" returns a chocolate covered donut with sprinkles, which is odd.

Z-Corn · Post by **Z-Corn** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 5:21 pm

Hell yeah, page five!

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Thu Oct 18, 2018 5:26 pm

Celebratory untoasted bagel for everyone!

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:10 am

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:34 am

Dude, even fast food bagels aren't that terrible, compared to that picture.

Wherever that is, sucks.

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:36 am

I think you need to toast it more.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:35 am

LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:10 am

Toast twice, cream once.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:55 am

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:11 pm With egg, sausage, and cheese you are eating a sandwich, not a bagel. The bagel becomes an element, not the feature. You don't get a burger and say you're eating a bun!

Sure, but no one would call a burger patty on a bagel a hamburger without raising a few eyebrows.

A bagel is a defining feature of the sandwich. It's not interchangeable with basic sliced bread, just as a wrap is not interchangeable.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:01 am

Paingod wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:35 am
LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:10 am
Toast twice, cream once.

It's the only way to be sure.

morlac · Post by **morlac** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:23 am

LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:01 am
Paingod wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:35 am
LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 12:10 am
Toast twice, cream once.
It's the only way to be sure.

Is that cinnamon on top of the right one? Dear God, please say no.

Edit: Never mind, I zoomed in. You sent it through a toaster over again AFTER the cream cheese was applied. Not sure I like that, requires a second slathering of CC after that....to take a way the burnt taste.

Archinerd · Post by **Archinerd** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:16 am

Judge my bagel.
Untoasted, sandwich style.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:30 am

LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:01 am
Paingod wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:35 am Toast twice, cream once.
It's the only way to be sure.

omg, was that a picture of the way you *like* your bagels?

That can't be true. I thought it was a picture of how sucky the bagels are in your neck of the woods. Because that's exactly what it is.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:10 am

GreenGoo wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:30 am
LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 9:01 am
Paingod wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:35 am Toast twice, cream once.
It's the only way to be sure.
omg, was that a picture of the way you *like* your bagels?

That can't be true. I thought it was a picture of how sucky the bagels are in your neck of the woods. Because that's exactly what it is.

Aliens reference actually. I posted the photo because Guapo called for a celebratory toasted bagel.

I like them with a light toast on them to kill the chewy bready texture. Well, I don't like bagels exactly but I'll eat them. With a light toast.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:12 am

Archinerd wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:16 am Judge my bagel.
Untoasted, sandwich style.

Need a gallon of water just looking at it.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:20 am

Archinerd wrote: ↑Fri Oct 19, 2018 10:16 am Judge my bagel.
Untoasted, sandwich style.

You're hiding the filling. Is that because...worms? It's filled with worms, isn't it?

Archinerd · Post by **Archinerd** » Fri Oct 19, 2018 11:34 am

Technically, they are grubs.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:19 pm

Serious business.

"Make my cinnamon toasted raisin bagel with bacon, egg and cheese -- right now!" the man screamed at the deli worker while banging on the glass case enclosing other deli essentials, video taken by a witness shows.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:39 pm

Man I could use a bagel right now.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:42 pm

I mean it may be media saturation but it sure seems like bagel related violence is on the rise.

Alefroth · Post by **Alefroth** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 4:47 pm

Horror or genius?

St. Louis Secret

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:11 pm

Alefroth wrote: ↑Wed Mar 27, 2019 4:47 pm Horror or genius?

St. Louis Secret

"this is anti-Semitism"

Ralph-Wiggum · Post by **Ralph-Wiggum** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:58 pm

If it's a St. Louis tradition to desecrate their bagels this way, it's no wonder that I can't find any good ones in this city.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 6:01 pm

Tony Posnanski wrote:This isn’t a hit. This is “Hey let me find the worst and cheapest way to feed 25 people with 12 bagels."

Nailed it.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 9:33 am

Ralph-Wiggum wrote: ↑Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:58 pm If it's a St. Louis tradition to desecrate their bagels this way, it's no wonder that I can't find any good ones in this city.

On the news this morning, they said people in St. Louis are as mystified as anyone.

I suspect this comes from St. Louis, OK, a known hotbed of anti-bagelite activity.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 9:50 am

Heard this on the radio this morning. I couldn't figure out what they were talking about with "bread sliced" bagels. I envisioned just what they link showed and thought that was ridiculous, if not impossible, given how soft a good bagel is and assumed they just meant they were cut in to two semi circles. Nope. How do you even cut a bagel like that and who wants people touching their bagels to slice them that way?

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:24 am

Ralph-Wiggum · Post by **Ralph-Wiggum** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:50 am

Jeff V wrote: ↑Thu Mar 28, 2019 9:33 am
Ralph-Wiggum wrote: ↑Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:58 pm If it's a St. Louis tradition to desecrate their bagels this way, it's no wonder that I can't find any good ones in this city.
On the news this morning, they said people in St. Louis are as mystified as anyone.

I suspect this comes from St. Louis, OK, a known hotbed of anti-bagelite activity.

Though they talked about it being a thing at Panera (known locally as the St. Louis Bread Company). Since that's seemingly where most people here get bagels, seems likely that it did originate in St. Louis, MO.

Post by **ImLawBoy** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 11:27 am

hentzau · Post by **hentzau** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 1:45 pm

I can actually see the genius in it, if you’re looking to maximize the amount of toppings you are wanting to consume. Think of the amount of cream cheese you can consume that way.

Helps to explain the size of some of my cousins from St. Louis...

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 2:11 pm

I don't always put cream cheese on bagels, though. Something like a jalapeno cheddar is fine as-is. Slice it into wafers and you'll not get proper appreciation of the topping.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 2:33 pm

hentzau wrote: ↑Thu Mar 28, 2019 1:45 pm I can actually see the genius in it, if you’re looking to maximize the amount of toppings you are wanting to consume. Think of the amount of cream cheese you can consume that way.

Helps to explain the size of some of my cousins from St. Louis...

If I treated bagels as a delivery device, I would concur. Like Fries or plain chips or a ritz. More surface to goodies would be a selling point. See the venerable waffle fry as the example. Ideally a bagel is an acceptable form of morning calorie injection plain. Then butter or spread jelly or penaut butter or egg or cheese or meat, etc... just make it better.

OtOH, those might very well make good hors devors with a good dip or fondue or whatever people do next to them. *shrug*

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 2:44 pm

LordMortis wrote: ↑Thu Mar 28, 2019 2:33 pm
hentzau wrote: ↑Thu Mar 28, 2019 1:45 pm I can actually see the genius in it, if you’re looking to maximize the amount of toppings you are wanting to consume. Think of the amount of cream cheese you can consume that way.

Helps to explain the size of some of my cousins from St. Louis...

If I treated bagels as a delivery device, I would concur. Like Fries or plain chips or a ritz. More surface to goodies would be a selling point.

Thus man invented spoons. Also, if they're sliced like that they would get stuck in the toaster.