Bagels suck
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- Blackhawk
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Re: Bagels suck
Flavored bagels (say, raisin/cinnamon or blueberry) I prefer untoasted and without spread.
Plain bagels I like toasted with plain cream cheese. I don't hate them untoasted, but they're much better toasted.
Onion bagels can go *#$*! themselves.
Plain bagels I like toasted with plain cream cheese. I don't hate them untoasted, but they're much better toasted.
Onion bagels can go *#$*! themselves.
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- GreenGoo
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Re: Bagels suck
Cream cheese, tomato slices, heavy black pepper.
Lox instead of tomato is also acceptable. Smoked salmon too.
Lox instead of tomato is also acceptable. Smoked salmon too.
- LawBeefaroni
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Re: Bagels suck
Thankfully, unlike the pizza, Chicago doesn't claim ownership of the holey bread monstrosities.
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- Jag
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Re: Bagels suck
You can't compare an actual bakery bagel to one of those terrible bagel chains. I've tried all of them and their bagels are pale imitations of the real thing. Some of the bagels and toppings they offer are just monstrous. I mean, it's fine when toasted and slathered with shit, i guess, but it's still chain food.Kraken wrote: ↑Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:41 pmEinstein Bros. or Brueger Bagels will do just fine as well. Go during the morning rush so you don't get one that's been sitting around for hours. If you don't like a fresh bagel from one of those places, then a genuine Jewish bakery isn't going to change your mind.Jag wrote: ↑Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:06 pm Find a place in NY that bakes it's own bagels. Ask for the ones that just came out of the oven. Jackpot if it is an everything bagel. Soft and smooth, yet firm and crunchy. Pure joy.
You sir, have not been to a proper bagel place. I'm sure it's similar to the terrible pizza they serve in the Chicago area as well.
I thought I didn't like bagels because I'd only had the frozen Lenders until I went to college, where Bagel Fragel was across the main street. Besides having fresh, authentic bagels, they also sold fragels -- deep-fried bagels dusted with sugar and cinnamon. I'm not big on sweets, but OMG those were good.
The intertubes tell me that Bagel Fragel went under c. 2002 after a Brueger moved in two doors down. So it goes.
- Jag
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Re: Bagels suck
You can't compare an actual bakery bagel to one of those terrible bagel chains. I've tried all of them and their bagels are pale imitations of the real thing. Some of the bagels and toppings they offer are just monstrous. I mean, it's fine when toasted and slathered with shit, i guess, but it's still chain food.Kraken wrote: ↑Wed Sep 12, 2018 6:41 pmEinstein Bros. or Brueger Bagels will do just fine as well. Go during the morning rush so you don't get one that's been sitting around for hours. If you don't like a fresh bagel from one of those places, then a genuine Jewish bakery isn't going to change your mind.Jag wrote: ↑Wed Sep 12, 2018 5:06 pm Find a place in NY that bakes it's own bagels. Ask for the ones that just came out of the oven. Jackpot if it is an everything bagel. Soft and smooth, yet firm and crunchy. Pure joy.
You sir, have not been to a proper bagel place. I'm sure it's similar to the terrible pizza they serve in the Chicago area as well.
I thought I didn't like bagels because I'd only had the frozen Lenders until I went to college, where Bagel Fragel was across the main street. Besides having fresh, authentic bagels, they also sold fragels -- deep-fried bagels dusted with sugar and cinnamon. I'm not big on sweets, but OMG those were good.
The intertubes tell me that Bagel Fragel went under c. 2002 after a Brueger moved in two doors down. So it goes.
That's true. New Haven, CT is the Pizza Mecca.LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Wed Sep 12, 2018 8:10 pmThankfully, unlike the pizza, Chicago doesn't claim ownership of the holey bread monstrosities.
- LordMortis
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Re: Bagels suck
I'm weird. I love the cheese bagel probably because I like cheese a little too much but that's not the weird part. Unlike henzau, I want my Asiago toasted and I love the smell of the burning cheese in the toaster. Then it's lightly buttered. Not cream cheesed or schmeared or whatever they call it.Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:19 amAsiago Bagel: You have impeccable judgment and taste in all things. Or you just like cheese a little too much and will always get it when it is an option. Only one of these things is true; be honest in your self-assessment. You are fit to govern, but you are too busy.
With regard to bagel snobbery, I give a hearty 'meh'. I will say we had a bagel maker growing up (basically a waffle iron for two round thick waffles, I think it was technically a "daisyville donut maker") and through the lens of remembering 40 years ago, it made bagels that were way better than anything we get from any of the bakeries around here, even the ones people rave about. But everything was awesomer to a young child. Stuff rarely measures to your memories.
- LawBeefaroni
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Re: Bagels suck
If nearly everyone's experience is with bad bagels, at which point are "good bagels" not really a thing?
If 1 in 100,000 bagels are good, the exception kind of proves the rule that bagels are 99.999% bad.
Maybe there should be two distinct kinds of bagel. Most Bagels and Golden Bagels. Most Bagels are bad. Golden Bagels are good.
"What are you getting in the catering order? "
"Oh, just some Most Bagels and fruit."
"You got a toaster right?"
"Of course, I'm not crazy. They're Most Bagels!"
If 1 in 100,000 bagels are good, the exception kind of proves the rule that bagels are 99.999% bad.
Maybe there should be two distinct kinds of bagel. Most Bagels and Golden Bagels. Most Bagels are bad. Golden Bagels are good.
"What are you getting in the catering order? "
"Oh, just some Most Bagels and fruit."
"You got a toaster right?"
"Of course, I'm not crazy. They're Most Bagels!"
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Re: Bagels suck
They are too chewy and my dentures do not like. Toasted is fine, though. I had a toasted sesame bagel for breakfast today and while it's just going to sit on my desk for about 4 hours, I toasted a jalapeno cheese bagel for lunch.LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:03 am Unless they are toasted. Do not serve bagels without a toaster. That is all.
Thank you.
I'll be attending a charity fundraising event in a few weeks that will have untoasted bagels. I'm looking forward to the event, not the bagels.
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- tjg_marantz
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Re: Bagels suck
Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...
They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.
I feel bad for the lot of you.
They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.
I feel bad for the lot of you.
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- El Guapo
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Re: Bagels suck
I don't think most people's experiences are with "bad" bagels. Most people (just going by quantity) tend to consume mass produced bagels, from Dunkin Donuts, Panera, etc. There's a limit to how good those can be, simply because they are affordable and mass produced. That's not an indictment of bagels, it's just a factor of the downside of mass production.LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:34 am If nearly everyone's experience is with bad bagels, at which point are "good bagels" not really a thing?
If 1 in 100,000 bagels are good, the exception kind of proves the rule that bagels are 99.999% bad.
Maybe there should be two distinct kinds of bagel. Most Bagels and Golden Bagels. Most Bagels are bad. Golden Bagels are good.
"What are you getting in the catering order? "
"Oh, just some Most Bagels and fruit."
"You got a toaster right?"
"Of course, I'm not crazy. They're Most Bagels!"
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- Holman
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Re: Bagels suck
Most people have never had good coffee, but that doesn't mean coffee is bad.
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- AWS260
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Re: Bagels suck
Are you referring to Montreal bagels? They are delicious, too.tjg_marantz wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:22 am Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...
They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.
I feel bad for the lot of you.
- El Guapo
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Re: Bagels suck
Having had Montreal bagels for the first time a few weeks ago, they're not that different.AWS260 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:14 pmAre you referring to Montreal bagels? They are delicious, too.tjg_marantz wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:22 am Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...
They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.
I feel bad for the lot of you.
Though I only had Fairmount - never made it over to the main rival's place.
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- GreenGoo
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Re: Bagels suck
Damn, now I want a bagel.
I'll also point out that even terri-bad bagels can be made acceptable by toasting and toppings.
Bagels are awesome. Should I start a new thread?
Bagels are Awesome.
...when they're toasted.
I'll also point out that even terri-bad bagels can be made acceptable by toasting and toppings.
Bagels are awesome. Should I start a new thread?
Bagels are Awesome.
...when they're toasted.
- Jag
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Re: Bagels suck
Is a Montreal bagel like a Quebec Pizza?El Guapo wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:19 pmHaving had Montreal bagels for the first time a few weeks ago, they're not that different.AWS260 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 12:14 pmAre you referring to Montreal bagels? They are delicious, too.tjg_marantz wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:22 am Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...
They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.
I feel bad for the lot of you.
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Re: Bagels suck
Drunkin' Donuts are expensive and the last time I had one, there was some off-putting chemical taste; I never got a bagel from them since. Panera and Einstein are just fine. My dad used to swear up and down that it was impossible to get a decent bagel outside of NYC, but then again he also thought the epitome of beer was Heineken. I just don't notice much of a difference once toasted and some topping applied (either by myself, or in the case of something like a jalapeno cheese, applied in the cooking/baking process). I guess the subtlety comes in when eating them un-toasted, which for me is more miss than hit.El Guapo wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:28 am
I don't think most people's experiences are with "bad" bagels. Most people (just going by quantity) tend to consume mass produced bagels, from Dunkin Donuts, Panera, etc. There's a limit to how good those can be, simply because they are affordable and mass produced. That's not an indictment of bagels, it's just a factor of the downside of mass production.
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- killbot737
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Re: Bagels suck
You eat a sucky bagel one day? You ate a sucky bagel. You eat sucky bagels every day? You're the sucky bagel.
I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels. Don't know if that's true or not, or if he turned into a sucky bagel once he moved away from there.
Sucky bagel. (aka the Sarlacc) (aka Uranus) (aka yo momma so fat...) (aka the name of my Electronica Zen monk Dethklok cover band)
P.S. Bagel Dogs FTW!
I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels. Don't know if that's true or not, or if he turned into a sucky bagel once he moved away from there.
Sucky bagel. (aka the Sarlacc) (aka Uranus) (aka yo momma so fat...) (aka the name of my Electronica Zen monk Dethklok cover band)
P.S. Bagel Dogs FTW!
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- LordMortis
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Re: Bagels suck
That would be several OOers. I think tgb was the last...killbot737 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 5:28 pm I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels.
http://octopusoverlords.com/forum/viewt ... &p=2008184
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Re: Bagels suck
Same with pizza.LordMortis wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:17 pmThat would be several OOers. I think tgb was the last...killbot737 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 5:28 pm I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels.
http://octopusoverlords.com/forum/viewt ... &p=2008184
It's not that hard to make region-specific waters that are better than the original.
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Re: Bagels suck
Everything bagel, double-toasted with lox and cream cheese can be so damned good.
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Re: Bagels suck
There's a pizza chain iirc that conditions their water to NYC chemistry for the perfect pie. Or so they claim.Z-Corn wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:20 pmSame with pizza.LordMortis wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:17 pmThat would be several OOers. I think tgb was the last...killbot737 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 13, 2018 5:28 pm I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels.
http://octopusoverlords.com/forum/viewt ... &p=2008184
It's not that hard to make region-specific waters that are better than the original.
My blog (mostly photos): Fort Ephemera - My Flickr Photostream
“You only get one sunrise and one sunset a day, and you only get so many days on the planet. A good photographer does the math and doesn’t waste either.” ―Galen Rowell
“You only get one sunrise and one sunset a day, and you only get so many days on the planet. A good photographer does the math and doesn’t waste either.” ―Galen Rowell
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Re: Bagels suck
This is all correct. Except that I don't know what double-toasted means....
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Re: Bagels suck
I think that means they toast it five times.
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Re: Bagels suck
My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'
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Re: Bagels suck
My problem with bagels is I don't like to eat food if I can't find great examples of it, conveniently.
As it happens, there is no renowned bagel place within "I'd drive that far for a bagel" distance. There IS however a renowned donut place almost within walking distance.
As it happens, there is no renowned bagel place within "I'd drive that far for a bagel" distance. There IS however a renowned donut place almost within walking distance.
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Re: Bagels suck
--------------------------------------------
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I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
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- LawBeefaroni
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Re: Bagels suck
Fuck 'em. Dry ass wastes of space.
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- $iljanus
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Re: Bagels suck
But the scones in England were so divine. I think the secret ingredient is unhealthy amounts of butter.
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Re: Bagels suck
Y'all are killin' me here.
No good bagels in Las Cruces. Well, I think I've seen a place that claims to have bagels but I haven't tried it. There's an Einstein Bagels over at NMSU --- but I don't really consider those bagels, just bagel substitutes. The grocery stores have fake bagels -- they LOOK like bagels but they're really just somewhat dense bagel-shaped bread stuff. I would be happy if there were a Brueggers - that's close enough to being what I recall. Closest Bruegger's is in Tucson.
No good bagels in Las Cruces. Well, I think I've seen a place that claims to have bagels but I haven't tried it. There's an Einstein Bagels over at NMSU --- but I don't really consider those bagels, just bagel substitutes. The grocery stores have fake bagels -- they LOOK like bagels but they're really just somewhat dense bagel-shaped bread stuff. I would be happy if there were a Brueggers - that's close enough to being what I recall. Closest Bruegger's is in Tucson.
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Re: Bagels suck
Einstein’s is acceptable in a pinch; their bagels are certainly better than anything you can get in the store. The one exception is if your store carries New York Bagels in the frozen section; they’re a decent substitute. But I can’t even find those in the Midwest. This barren bagel country.
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Re: Bagels suck
I prefer to think of it as using flour sparingly.
I made scones on Saturday morning. Finished the last one today, they were certainly not dry. I use a lot more blueberries than the recipe calls for, then I drown them in a fresh lemon glaze that further locks in the moisture.
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- LawBeefaroni
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Re: Bagels suck
" Hey OP, listen to my advice alright." -Tha General
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Re: Bagels suck
I like scones, pronounced with the long O sound. One reason I like them is I can bake them myself. I've tried making my own bagels, that's a no go. I won't fry anything due to the fire hazard, so I don't make my own donuts. But I will make scones now and again, they go great with coffee. A freshly baked scone with a cup of coffee using freshly roasted beans you just ground up yourself? Very nice.
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Re: Bagels suck
My college roommate pronounced "bagel" as if it rhymed with "haggle."