Bagels suck

[Blackhawk]

Flavored bagels (say, raisin/cinnamon or blueberry) I prefer untoasted and without spread.
Plain bagels I like toasted with plain cream cheese. I don't hate them untoasted, but they're much better toasted.
Onion bagels can go *#$*! themselves.

[GreenGoo]

Cream cheese, tomato slices, heavy black pepper.

Lox instead of tomato is also acceptable. Smoked salmon too.

[LawBeefaroni]

You sir, have not been to a proper bagel place. I'm sure it's similar to the terrible pizza they serve in the Chicago area as well.

Thankfully, unlike the pizza, Chicago doesn't claim ownership of the holey bread monstrosities.

[Jag]

Find a place in NY that bakes it's own bagels. Ask for the ones that just came out of the oven. Jackpot if it is an everything bagel. Soft and smooth, yet firm and crunchy. Pure joy.

You sir, have not been to a proper bagel place. I'm sure it's similar to the terrible pizza they serve in the Chicago area as well.

Einstein Bros. or Brueger Bagels will do just fine as well. Go during the morning rush so you don't get one that's been sitting around for hours. If you don't like a fresh bagel from one of those places, then a genuine Jewish bakery isn't going to change your mind.

I thought I didn't like bagels because I'd only had the frozen Lenders until I went to college, where Bagel Fragel was across the main street. Besides having fresh, authentic bagels, they also sold fragels -- deep-fried bagels dusted with sugar and cinnamon. I'm not big on sweets, but OMG those were good.

The intertubes tell me that Bagel Fragel went under c. 2002 after a Brueger moved in two doors down. So it goes.

You can't compare an actual bakery bagel to one of those terrible bagel chains. I've tried all of them and their bagels are pale imitations of the real thing. Some of the bagels and toppings they offer are just monstrous. I mean, it's fine when toasted and slathered with shit, i guess, but it's still chain food.

[Jag]

Find a place in NY that bakes it's own bagels. Ask for the ones that just came out of the oven. Jackpot if it is an everything bagel. Soft and smooth, yet firm and crunchy. Pure joy.

You sir, have not been to a proper bagel place. I'm sure it's similar to the terrible pizza they serve in the Chicago area as well.

Einstein Bros. or Brueger Bagels will do just fine as well. Go during the morning rush so you don't get one that's been sitting around for hours. If you don't like a fresh bagel from one of those places, then a genuine Jewish bakery isn't going to change your mind.

I thought I didn't like bagels because I'd only had the frozen Lenders until I went to college, where Bagel Fragel was across the main street. Besides having fresh, authentic bagels, they also sold fragels -- deep-fried bagels dusted with sugar and cinnamon. I'm not big on sweets, but OMG those were good.

The intertubes tell me that Bagel Fragel went under c. 2002 after a Brueger moved in two doors down. So it goes.

You can't compare an actual bakery bagel to one of those terrible bagel chains. I've tried all of them and their bagels are pale imitations of the real thing. Some of the bagels and toppings they offer are just monstrous. I mean, it's fine when toasted and slathered with shit, i guess, but it's still chain food.

You sir, have not been to a proper bagel place. I'm sure it's similar to the terrible pizza they serve in the Chicago area as well.

Thankfully, unlike the pizza, Chicago doesn't claim ownership of the holey bread monstrosities.

That's true. New Haven, CT is the Pizza Mecca.

[LordMortis]

I prefer panera's asiago bagel untoasted. It's quite tasty that way. And no cream cheese or spread needed.

Asiago Bagel: You have impeccable judgment and taste in all things. Or you just like cheese a little too much and will always get it when it is an option. Only one of these things is true; be honest in your self-assessment. You are fit to govern, but you are too busy.

I'm weird. I love the cheese bagel probably because I like cheese a little too much but that's not the weird part. Unlike henzau, I want my Asiago toasted and I love the smell of the burning cheese in the toaster. Then it's lightly buttered. Not cream cheesed or schmeared or whatever they call it.

With regard to bagel snobbery, I give a hearty 'meh'. I will say we had a bagel maker growing up (basically a waffle iron for two round thick waffles, I think it was technically a "daisyville donut maker") and through the lens of remembering 40 years ago, it made bagels that were way better than anything we get from any of the bakeries around here, even the ones people rave about. But everything was awesomer to a young child. Stuff rarely measures to your memories.

[LawBeefaroni]

If nearly everyone's experience is with bad bagels, at which point are "good bagels" not really a thing?

If 1 in 100,000 bagels are good, the exception kind of proves the rule that bagels are 99.999% bad.

Maybe there should be two distinct kinds of bagel. Most Bagels and Golden Bagels. Most Bagels are bad. Golden Bagels are good.

"What are you getting in the catering order? "
"Oh, just some Most Bagels and fruit."
"You got a toaster right?"
"Of course, I'm not crazy. They're Most Bagels!"

[Jeff V]

Unless they are toasted. Do not serve bagels without a toaster. That is all.

Thank you.

They are too chewy and my dentures do not like. Toasted is fine, though. I had a toasted sesame bagel for breakfast today and while it's just going to sit on my desk for about 4 hours, I toasted a jalapeno cheese bagel for lunch.

I'll be attending a charity fundraising event in a few weeks that will have untoasted bagels. I'm looking forward to the event, not the bagels.

[tjg_marantz]

Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...

They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.

I feel bad for the lot of you.

[El Guapo]

If nearly everyone's experience is with bad bagels, at which point are "good bagels" not really a thing?

If 1 in 100,000 bagels are good, the exception kind of proves the rule that bagels are 99.999% bad.

Maybe there should be two distinct kinds of bagel. Most Bagels and Golden Bagels. Most Bagels are bad. Golden Bagels are good.

"What are you getting in the catering order? "
"Oh, just some Most Bagels and fruit."
"You got a toaster right?"
"Of course, I'm not crazy. They're Most Bagels!"

I don't think most people's experiences are with "bad" bagels. Most people (just going by quantity) tend to consume mass produced bagels, from Dunkin Donuts, Panera, etc. There's a limit to how good those can be, simply because they are affordable and mass produced. That's not an indictment of bagels, it's just a factor of the downside of mass production.

[Holman]

Most people have never had good coffee, but that doesn't mean coffee is bad.

[AWS260]

Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...

They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.

I feel bad for the lot of you.

Are you referring to Montreal bagels? They are delicious, too.

[El Guapo]

Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...

They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.

I feel bad for the lot of you.

Are you referring to Montreal bagels? They are delicious, too.

Having had Montreal bagels for the first time a few weeks ago, they're not that different.

Though I only had Fairmount - never made it over to the main rival's place.

[GreenGoo]

Damn, now I want a bagel.

I'll also point out that even terri-bad bagels can be made acceptable by toasting and toppings.

Bagels are awesome. Should I start a new thread?

Bagels are Awesome.

...when they're toasted.

[Jag]

Too bad you're all fighting about things that aren't bagels...

They call them bagels but they're not bagels. They're round puffy pieces of dough.

I feel bad for the lot of you.

Are you referring to Montreal bagels? They are delicious, too.

Having had Montreal bagels for the first time a few weeks ago, they're not that different.

Is a Montreal bagel like a Quebec Pizza?

[Jeff V]

I don't think most people's experiences are with "bad" bagels. Most people (just going by quantity) tend to consume mass produced bagels, from Dunkin Donuts, Panera, etc. There's a limit to how good those can be, simply because they are affordable and mass produced. That's not an indictment of bagels, it's just a factor of the downside of mass production.

Drunkin' Donuts are expensive and the last time I had one, there was some off-putting chemical taste; I never got a bagel from them since. Panera and Einstein are just fine. My dad used to swear up and down that it was impossible to get a decent bagel outside of NYC, but then again he also thought the epitome of beer was Heineken. I just don't notice much of a difference once toasted and some topping applied (either by myself, or in the case of something like a jalapeno cheese, applied in the cooking/baking process). I guess the subtlety comes in when eating them un-toasted, which for me is more miss than hit.

[killbot737]

You eat a sucky bagel one day? You ate a sucky bagel. You eat sucky bagels every day? You're the sucky bagel.

I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels. Don't know if that's true or not, or if he turned into a sucky bagel once he moved away from there.

Sucky bagel. (aka the Sarlacc) (aka Uranus) (aka yo momma so fat...) (aka the name of my Electronica Zen monk Dethklok cover band)

P.S. Bagel Dogs FTW!

[LordMortis]

I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels.

That would be several OOers. I think tgb was the last...

http://octopusoverlords.com/forum/viewt ... &p=2008184

[Z-Corn]

I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels.

That would be several OOers. I think tgb was the last...

http://octopusoverlords.com/forum/viewt ... &p=2008184

Same with pizza.

It's not that hard to make region-specific waters that are better than the original.

[Enough]

Everything bagel, double-toasted with lox and cream cheese can be so damned good.

[Enough]

I once knew a guy from New York who swore you needed New York water to make good bagels.

That would be several OOers. I think tgb was the last...

http://octopusoverlords.com/forum/viewt ... &p=2008184

Same with pizza.

It's not that hard to make region-specific waters that are better than the original.

There's a pizza chain iirc that conditions their water to NYC chemistry for the perfect pie. Or so they claim.

[Ralph-Wiggum]

Everything bagel, double-toasted with lox and cream cheese can be so damned good.

This is all correct. Except that I don't know what double-toasted means....

[McNutt]

I think that means they toast it five times.

[GreenGoo]

[mori]

My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?'

-Emo Philips

[gameoverman]

My problem with bagels is I don't like to eat food if I can't find great examples of it, conveniently.

As it happens, there is no renowned bagel place within "I'd drive that far for a bagel" distance. There IS however a renowned donut place almost within walking distance.

[Jeff V]

So what is your position on scones?

[Isgrimnur]

Or Yorkshire pudding?

[GreenGoo]

Or Yorkshire pudding?

It's not actually pudding!

Also, it's fantastic.

[Daehawk]

[LawBeefaroni]

So what is your position on scones?

Fuck 'em. Dry ass wastes of space.

[$iljanus]

So what is your position on scones?

Fuck 'em. Dry ass wastes of space.

But the scones in England were so divine. I think the secret ingredient is unhealthy amounts of butter.

[Bad Demographic]

Y'all are killin' me here.
No good bagels in Las Cruces. Well, I think I've seen a place that claims to have bagels but I haven't tried it. There's an Einstein Bagels over at NMSU --- but I don't really consider those bagels, just bagel substitutes. The grocery stores have fake bagels -- they LOOK like bagels but they're really just somewhat dense bagel-shaped bread stuff. I would be happy if there were a Brueggers - that's close enough to being what I recall. Closest Bruegger's is in Tucson.

[Ralph-Wiggum]

Einstein’s is acceptable in a pinch; their bagels are certainly better than anything you can get in the store. The one exception is if your store carries New York Bagels in the frozen section; they’re a decent substitute. But I can’t even find those in the Midwest. This barren bagel country.

[Alefroth]

So what is your position on scones?

That it's often mispronounced.

[Jeff V]

So what is your position on scones?

Fuck 'em. Dry ass wastes of space.

But the scones in England were so divine. I think the secret ingredient is unhealthy amounts of butter.

I prefer to think of it as using flour sparingly.

I made scones on Saturday morning. Finished the last one today, they were certainly not dry. I use a lot more blueberries than the recipe calls for, then I drown them in a fresh lemon glaze that further locks in the moisture.

[LawBeefaroni]

[Alefroth]

[gameoverman]

So what is your position on scones?

I like scones, pronounced with the long O sound. One reason I like them is I can bake them myself. I've tried making my own bagels, that's a no go. I won't fry anything due to the fire hazard, so I don't make my own donuts. But I will make scones now and again, they go great with coffee. A freshly baked scone with a cup of coffee using freshly roasted beans you just ground up yourself? Very nice.

[AWS260]

My college roommate pronounced "bagel" as if it rhymed with "haggle."