Tomorrow is a big day i.e. Lee's not bitching about things this time

Lorini · Post by **Lorini** » Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:59 pm

In California gender cannot be used to determine custodial arrangements.

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Fri Dec 07, 2018 11:04 am

Lorini wrote: ↑Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:59 pm In California gender cannot be used to determine custodial arrangements.

Man, I wish I was in California. I feel like there needs to be a "presumption of equal placement" statute in Wisconsin or something.

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:18 pm

OH MY FUCK IT'S STILL NOT OVER.

She's claiming that I'm misremembering the agreement and that Mondays aren't involved. I also realized something else big:

She is going to use the therapist to get a "professional" to agree that I'm bad.

I realized this today. So I went to pick up the kids and she wasn't there. I went to the children's therapist thinking that I was supposed to pick them up there. When I get there, her and my son are leaving. My son looks a little shellshocked, and she has tears in her eyes. I'm thinking to myself: Why does SHE have tears in her eyes? That's when I realize that she's probably giving the therapist the business.

FUCK, what do I do now?

Scuzz · Post by **Scuzz** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:27 pm

Call your lawyer.

pr0ner · Post by **pr0ner** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:35 pm

Scuzz wrote: ↑Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:27 pm Call your lawyer.

This.

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:41 pm

That's the plan tomorrow morning.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:45 pm

El I hate you life wife. Hard to believe adults act like that. Its shameful. Im sorry for you and more so for your kids. I hope you somehow kick her ass with the truth.

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 8:59 pm

I'd get the body cam just because I think it would piss her off.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:38 pm

You may even consider a PI ?

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:44 pm

Yeah, talk to your lawyer and do what they say. I assume that the agreement is written down somewhere? Assuming the judge knows that Mondays are involved, one big pet peeve of judges is when people don't follow their orders.

RuperT · Post by **RuperT** » Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:16 pm

I think I’d wonder about a divorce lawyer who hasn’t already advised you about this next hurdle, which wasn’t exactly unforseeable.
As far as I know, you just keep a copy of the divorce agreement in your car, don’t break it, and call the cops when she breaks it, at least for documentation if not action.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:26 am

I don't know if you two exchange emails, but it couldn't hurt (if you did) for you to document and write about your experiences as they happen, each day (things happen) so that you have a paper trail, and perhaps some replies from her that may help you later on.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:47 am

It is my belief that if you don't stop being the "defender" all the time you're going to lose.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:50 am

Paingod wrote: ↑Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:19 amNow you've just got to rely on a psychotic Ex and hope she'll abide by the judges ruling without constantly trying to screw with you.

I seen it before, and I'll see it again. I'm very sorry that she's continuing the crazy train and won't let your kids get off it.

As others have said - get that lawyer involved. Don't cut her a millimeter of slack or an ounce of leniency. She can and will push to drive you insane, and any leeway you give her will become her leverage. She's not your ex anymore. Now she's a hostile agency that has custody of your children half the time. You need to treat her like the North Korea of relationships and keep equal pressure on until she understands that you won't back down just because she's dialing it up.

Her end game is very likely complete custody by any means - and probably not even because she wants the kids, but because she wants to hurt you personally. Making you miserable may have just become her number one mission in life.

Document everything. Lawyer as much as you can. Get the judge to slap her with contempt for breaking arrangements.

Lorini · Post by **Lorini** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 11:51 am

And don't take it personally. Whatever she's saying at this point has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with her. I hope things get better for you soon!!!!!

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:19 pm

My attorney just confirmed that I'm right, I WAS supposed to have the kids.

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:20 pm

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, still. I have nothing to add that's new, only repeating what's already been offered. Document everything and communicate with your lawyer.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:28 pm

When the Americans got the Vietnamese to the bargaining table in Paris, they considered it a victory. For the North Vietnamese, it was just another battleground.

naednek · Post by **naednek** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:35 pm

Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:28 pm When the Americans got the Vietnamese to the bargaining table in Paris, they considered it a victory. For the North Vietnamese, it was just another battleground.

damnit, i think he's broken again

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:42 pm

naednek wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:35 pm
Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:28 pm When the Americans got the Vietnamese to the bargaining table in Paris, they considered it a victory. For the North Vietnamese, it was just another battleground.
damnit, i think he's broken again

hit ctrl+alt+del

Pyperkub · Post by **Pyperkub** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:50 pm

naednek wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:35 pm
Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:28 pm When the Americans got the Vietnamese to the bargaining table in Paris, they considered it a victory. For the North Vietnamese, it was just another battleground.
damnit, i think he's broken again

too much messing with the Isgrimsquatch must have gotten to him...

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:55 pm

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:05 pm

naednek wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:35 pm
Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:28 pm When the Americans got the Vietnamese to the bargaining table in Paris, they considered it a victory. For the North Vietnamese, it was just another battleground.
damnit, i think he's broken again

He's saying the fight isn't over just because she the court has ruled. If that was clear to everyone but you're just having a bit of fun at his expense, apologies.

That's been my anecdotal evidence as well, from other people going through similar situations.

Anonymous Bosch · Post by **Anonymous Bosch** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:49 pm

GreenGoo wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:05 pm
naednek wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:35 pm
Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:28 pm When the Americans got the Vietnamese to the bargaining table in Paris, they considered it a victory. For the North Vietnamese, it was just another battleground.
damnit, i think he's broken again
He's saying the fight isn't over just because she the court has ruled. If that was clear to everyone but you're just having a bit of fun at his expense, apologies.

I apologise for pointing this out, but the rod up your butt has a rod up its butt. <<== This is not a serious remark, and we obviously all realise that a rod technically does not have 'a butt'.

Carpet_pissr · Post by **Carpet_pissr** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:56 pm

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:49 pm we obviously all realise that a rod technically does not have 'a butt'.[/i]

Do we? Rod Stewart's coked up bum begs to differ.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:57 pm

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:49 pm
I apologise for pointing this out, but the rod up your butt has a rod up its butt. <<== This is not a serious remark, and we obviously all realise that a rod technically does not have 'a butt'.

I think that's an unfair characterization, and not accurate even in it's metaphorical meaning.

But as long as it's not serious, then no problem I guess. That's how my 11 year old thinks she can get away with saying all sorts of shit. Why wouldn't it work for a grown man.

The reason I felt compelled to respond is that it was implied that Isgrim was somehow broken based on his response, when in fact his response was perfectly topical and insightful. i.e. Isgrim was working perfectly, as always.

Butts and rods don't enter into it.

Maybe we can let Eel get back to the trauma of his life now.

edit2: For the record I'm not saying I don't have a rod up my ass, I'm saying that it isn't applicable in this case.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:59 pm

Sometimes the neural network connections lead to interesting places.

Asharak · Post by **Asharak** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:00 pm

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:49 pm I apologise for pointing this out, but the rod up your butt has a rod up its butt. <<== This is not a serious remark, and we obviously all realise that a rod technically does not have 'a butt'.

While that is true, if he had A-rod up his butt, then it would certainly be possible for the A-rod up his butt to have a rod up his butt.

I hope that perspective helps opacify everything here.

- Ash

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:00 pm

Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:59 pm Sometimes the neural network connections lead to interesting places.

I got yer back Izzy.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:01 pm

Asharak wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:00 pm
Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:49 pm I apologise for pointing this out, but the rod up your butt has a rod up its butt. <<== This is not a serious remark, and we obviously all realise that a rod technically does not have 'a butt'.
While that is true, if he had A-rod up his butt, then it would certainly be possible for the A-rod up his butt to have a rod up his butt.

I hope that perspective helps opacify everything here.

- Ash

ARod put needles in his butt.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:06 pm

Eddie Murphy put a boogie in his butt.

Sometimes the neural network connections lead to interesting places.

That's my story, and I'm stickin to it.

noxiousdog · Post by **noxiousdog** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:29 pm

Do not stop fighting for your kids or it will have lasting implications including them possibly breaking off contact later.

One of my best friends refused to drag his ex to court for these kinds of things. That let her fill their heads with lies. Even though his daughter was 16 at the time and his son 12, he hasn't seen his daughter in a decade and his son in 5 or six years. While typically I would say there's more to the story (I'm sure there's more to the story), I saw him with his son for a few years before the mom completely separated them and it appeared as a normal father/son relationship. I've seen him around family, friends, and I've seen him around my kids. Other than a complete brainwashing, I have no possible reason they would want to break off all contact.

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:48 pm

Dude, that's what I'm TERRIFIED of. My son thinks I'm a superhero right now and we've been close since the day he was born. My daughter is a little hellraiser and I love it. I can't imagine what she's stuffing in their heads.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:48 pm

The courts, at least the courts where I'm from, are not kind to a father who doesn't do everything in his power to stay in his children's lives, and to raise them. She will with their help chip away at your access to your children until you have essentially none if you don't fight. Even if your kids don't get turned against you, are you willing to wait until they are adults to be a part of their lives?

So that's two strong arguments for doing what needs doing.

I say that knowing that it's a daunting task. Don't go to war to defeat your ex, go to war to ensure you are part of your children's lives. Your ex is just an obstacle, not the enemy. Treating her as such is also frowned upon by the courts, even as she treats you as the enemy. It's not fair, but it's reality. Fight the good fight, so that no matter what happens, you can live with yourself afterward.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:57 pm

GreenGoo wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:48 pm The courts, at least the courts where I'm from, are not kind to a father who doesn't do everything in his power to stay in his children's lives, and to raise them. She will with their help chip away at your access to your children until you have essentially none if you don't fight. Even if your kids don't get turned against you, are you willing to wait until they are adults to be a part of their lives?

So that's two strong arguments for doing what needs doing.

I say that knowing that it's a daunting task. Don't go to war defeat your ex, go to war ensure you are part of your children's lives.

I don't know about Wisconsin legal stuff but from the read, the problem (beyond the root problem of mom using her own children) isn't the court but rather "the child advocate" (We'd call friend of the court in Michigan) which again, makes no sense to me. I don't understand how you can both be an independent advocate for the child and work as a team with the lawyer for the mother. It doesn't fit together in my small comprehension.

I can't imagine and it makes me so thankful I sought an exit before having children. I wouldn't begin to know how to act.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 6:13 pm

LordMortis wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:57 pm I can't imagine and it makes me so thankful I sought an exit before having children. I wouldn't begin to know how to act.

I'm not sure I would have the strength of will required.

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 6:20 pm

Eel Snave wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:42 pm
naednek wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:35 pm
Isgrimnur wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:28 pm When the Americans got the Vietnamese to the bargaining table in Paris, they considered it a victory. For the North Vietnamese, it was just another battleground.
damnit, i think he's broken again
hit ctrl+alt+del

ctrl-w

And good luck, Eel. Keep fighting the good fight.

Anonymous Bosch · Post by **Anonymous Bosch** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:00 pm

GreenGoo: no offense intended, I was just riffing on your oft-sober assessments and apparent unfamiliarity with the notion of 'A joke explained is a joke killed.'

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:03 pm

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:10 pm

Anonymous Bosch wrote: ↑Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:00 pm GreenGoo: no offense intended, I was just riffing on your oft-sober assessments and apparent unfamiliarity with the notion of 'A joke explained is a joke killed.'

OK, peace.

The thing is though, I am fully aware of the concept. I'm not oblivious.

It was Naednek's (I think) comment that made me feel an explanation was warranted. I'm absolutely guilty of over explaining things at times. In this case though...

I fully admit I don't get the joke "He's broken" when...he's clearly not broken. I'm particularly resistant to jokes that involving making up something to pin on someone then mocking them for that thing they just made up.

And I totally get that there was no ill-will directed at Isgrim. I'm not "protecting him from bullies" or anything. I legitimately thought that there might be confusion on some peoples' part, especially when I felt their responses missed the point entirely. Honestly "he's broken" makes no sense to me. What's the funny bit?

I absolutely am demanding that humor be clever though. So maybe that's all it was.

Sorry for the snark.