Tomorrow is a big day i.e. Lee's not bitching about things this time

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 2:56 pm

So tomorrow I go in for round 2 of my big placement battle. Here's the story:

I divorced my wife in 2015. The day I told her that I wanted a divorce, she said she was pregnant, and she then gave birth to our daughter in September of 2015. She's been understandably mad ever since. She was dragging out the divorce proceedings, and finally I just agreed to her demands just so I could move on. I didn't have a lawyer either, since my attorney charged a $5000 retainer, and then asked for another $5000 to keep going instead of just billing me.

Here's how bad my deal was for placement: I only get six hours a week with my daughter. Understandably, we put in a clause where she said that we would revisit placement in two years.

In the meantime, she's made my life hell. She fights with me over everything and demands her way. This is one of the reasons we got divorced in the first place. Since then, I've dated and gotten remarried to an amazing lady, bought a house with bedrooms for the kids, everything. Still, my ex-wife has refused to give me any more time with my daughter unless I give her more money in child support.

Yeah.

So, I filed a motion in November of 2017 to get more time with my kids. I paid the deposit for the guardian ad litem out of pocket, and I presented my case to the GAL in December of 2017. Bear in mind, I've saved every message, text and email from my ex because she's a habitual liar. She's argumentative and assumes that I'm doing SOMETHING TERRIBLE behind the scenes.

I wrote up a 41-page letter outlining everything. A situation where the children had elevated levels of lead poisoning and she refused to investigate. A situation where she agreed that I could take the kids for a small trip and then pulled it because I wanted to check my schedule at work when she requested a day. A situation where she demanded that I pay to rush a passport to let the kids go to her home country. Etc. Etc.

The report came out in April 2018, and the GAL was completely hoodwinked by my ex. My ex claimed that I was mean, angry, argumentative, and basically said that everything SHE was doing were things that I was guilty of. The GAL bought it hook, line and sinker.

Now, I know at this point you're probably like, "Wait, you sound pretty mad right now. Are you sure the problem isn't you?" I get that. I want to assure you, I have tried my damnedest to bend over backwards for this woman. I have done everything possible to be a good father, to acquiesce to her demands and to keep out of her hair. I swear on my children.

Fast-forward to the hearing in August. My ex did a deposition with my attorney and she had nothing. Just, "I don't like him." I read the transcript. Even with the GAL trying to feed her lines, she still didn't have anything.

Well, the weekend before the hearing, we get an email from her attorney. Her attorney says, "Yeahhhh, there was a bunch of stuff she didn't cover in the deposition, but that she just PLUM FORGOT. Here it is." It was a document full of the most vile stuff she could put. She claimed that I choked my daughter. She claimed that I slapped my son. She claimed that I dragged my son screaming out of her house and that I mocked her as I did it. Just stunning.

So I set to work. One of the big contentions was that I choked my daughter in October of 2016, and she took Emma to the doctor where they examined the choke marks but couldn't say with any clarity that they were choke marks so they chose not to report. So, I called the doctor's office to get the report.

She was never at the doctor in October of 2016.

I ask, well, was she there in October 2017? No. I find there was an appointment in December of 2016 about a rash. I get that report. No mention of any choke marks, no mention that they brought in a second doctor as she claimed, nothing.

I then went through line by line and found proof that the majority of what she was saying was a lie. What wasn't a lie was a half-truth that left out key parts of the actual events.

We go to the courthouse, and right away her attorney wants us to deal. We counter and they don't know what to do. We can't bridge the gap. My ex is fine with me having overnights with my son but not my daughter. Even the GAL is starting to think this is getting weird.

We start the trial. My attorney goes line by line through my ex's deposition, presenting documentation that she's lying. I mean, he just eviscerates her claims before she even has a chance to bring them up herself. Her attorney is rubbing his temples and the bridge of his nose. My ex is mean-mugging me. The judge is asking me questions on things that interest him.

In fact, we're so thorough that we run out of time. We were scheduled for an entire morning. I spent an hour and a half on the stand and we had to adjourn and reschedule.

So, after the trial, suddenly her attorney wants to mediate. I say, fine, as long as we can agree that things are going to be different now. What is she going to give up before mediation? The answer? Nothing. Basically, as near as we can tell, her attorney and the GAL have figured out that she's lying. They know she doesn't have a leg to stand on and don't want to go to trial. She's so arrogant that she can't see it.

Tomorrow is the continuation of this. At 8am, I step into the courtroom again for the biggest fight of my life. Will she deal? Will she fight? What's going to happen? I haven't even been cross-examined yet. How is that going to go? What else is my ex going to claim? Is she going to melt down under cross like I assume she will?

I am a ball of nerves. If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. Any good vibes/thoughts and prayers/advice is welcome.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:04 pm

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:09 pm

Good luck.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:12 pm

It sounds like you've got everything pretty much in hand but good luck anyway.

It also sounds like you know that giving her a proverbial inch will result in her taking a mile. Don't be nice any more (but don't be cruel either) and speak to her only through your lawyer.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:15 pm

Good luck man. Hope everything works out for everyone involved.

Carpet_pissr · Post by **Carpet_pissr** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:17 pm

Wow, dude, good luck.

If you don't mind sharing, where is your wife from?

Also, I feel sorry for you regarding the timing of this. Truth is not in vogue these days.

Sounds like you did your homework, let's hope that's enough to sway the judge in your favor.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:24 pm

Carpet_pissr wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:17 pm If you don't mind sharing, where is your wife from?

Mexico

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:26 pm

Holy hell! Buy your lawyer(s) a round of beer. Good luck.

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:27 pm

LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:12 pm speak to her only through your lawyer.

It sucks to come down to that but from reading what I read, ah, yeah. Only I say be the Trent Steel and Smoove Roadhouse incarnation. Always be nice. Everyone in the process has to know that's who you are. Your actions will define your intent and desire and that's OK, Don't let your demeanor frame those actions to betray those needs.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:32 pm

uh, wow.

Godspeed tomorrow. Sounds like you've done your homework and are well prepared.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:38 pm

I wish you the best. It sounds like you've got everything lined up and ready to knock over.

I hope you get at least half custody and negate child support, then as you Ex goes insane, you'll be given more time as you can show she's breaking court orders left and right.

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:51 pm

Also, looking back on that old post, HOLY HELL I IDENTIFIED MYSELF AS A CONSERVATIVE. Fuck me, my grandpa would have thrown me off an embankment.

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:53 pm

Doesn't this belong in the horror movies for teenage boys thread?

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:04 pm

Eel Snave wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:51 pm Also, looking back on that old post, HOLY HELL I IDENTIFIED MYSELF AS A CONSERVATIVE. Fuck me, my grandpa would have thrown me off an embankment.

Do you need to update your, "what changed in the past five years," post?

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:10 pm

That story is insane...I feel like I need to go home and hug my wife.

Nothing to add except good luck tomorrow.

gameoverman · Post by **gameoverman** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:11 pm

The part that threw me off a bit is how you passed on being represented by counsel, because of costs, yet you got remarried and bought a house in short order. I think your story is valuable, and I thank you for sharing it, because it shows how you really need to protect your interests from the start. As for her approach, looking it from her perspective, you've always caved in to her demands so why should she believe now is going to be any different? I think that's why she's digging in so deep.

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:52 pm

Good luck.

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:57 pm

gameoverman wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:11 pm The part that threw me off a bit is how you passed on being represented by counsel, because of costs, yet you got remarried and bought a house in short order. I think your story is valuable, and I thank you for sharing it, because it shows how you really need to protect your interests from the start. As for her approach, looking it from her perspective, you've always caved in to her demands so why should she believe now is going to be any different? I think that's why she's digging in so deep.

Well, this was in 2015. I worked my ASS off in the year after that to rebuild. I paid down credit card debt and saved up a nest egg. The getting remarried was a quick courthouse wedding, totally on the cheap and meant to save on insurance. (Plus, I love her, I like her and we're each other's biggest fans certainly doesn't hurt. We were planning on getting married in 2019 anyway, it just sped up the process.)

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:13 pm

Sounds like you should record all conversations with her.

Asharak · Post by **Asharak** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:20 pm

Wow... and good luck tomorrow!

- Ash

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:23 pm

Daehawk wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:13 pm Sounds like you should record all conversations with her.

Oh, I do. Wisconsin is a single-party consent state too.

Lorini · Post by **Lorini** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:45 pm

Good on you for doing your homework. Can you keep your kids like permanently with her having visitation rights if she stops lying? I would never want my kid with someone who lies like that, what is she telling the kids???

Good luck!

Chrisoc13 · Post by **Chrisoc13** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:43 pm

Wow! Good luck

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:46 pm

Daehawk wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:13 pm Sounds like you should record all conversations with her.

Sounds like he should wear a body cam when in contact with any of them too.

Default · Post by **Default** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:57 pm

Good luck on all this.

I'm glad you found a non-crazy girl too.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:18 pm

em2nought wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 6:46 pm
Daehawk wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:13 pm Sounds like you should record all conversations with her.
Sounds like he should wear a body cam when in contact with any of them too.

And maybe body armor too.

Z-Corn · Post by **Z-Corn** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:22 pm

What does GAL mean?

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:28 pm

Z-Corn wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:22 pm What does GAL mean?

A guardian ad litem (“GAL”) is an attorney appointed by the court to investigate a case and report its findings and recommendations to the court. The investigation, report, and recommendations are based upon the best interests of the child. The GAL is a lawyer for the child and works in the best interests of the child.

In your face Isg!

Trent Steel · Post by **Trent Steel** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:30 pm

If I know anything about loony people, it’s that they get embarrassed in court. Based on what you’ve explained, you have quite the loony on your hands.

Best of luck.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:30 pm

Z-Corn · Post by **Z-Corn** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:37 pm

Smoove_B wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:28 pm
Z-Corn wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:22 pm What does GAL mean?

A guardian ad litem (“GAL”) is an attorney appointed by the court to investigate a case and report its findings and recommendations to the court. The investigation, report, and recommendations are based upon the best interests of the child. The GAL is a lawyer for the child and works in the best interests of the child.
In your face Isg!

Yes, thanks Smoove, BAM! to you.

I had no idea kids got lawyers, this changes things!

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:39 pm

Parens patriae is a thing (I felt bad, that's a freebie for Isg).

LordMortis · Post by **LordMortis** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:33 pm

I'm pretty certain GAL is Global Address List.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:55 pm

LordMortis wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 9:33 pm I'm pretty certain GAL is Global Address List.

+1.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:37 am

Yup, that's what I read too at first.

God we're nerds.

Asharak · Post by **Asharak** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:48 am

Z-Corn wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:22 pm What does GAL mean?

Wonder Woman is supervising his custody battle.

- Ash

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:56 am

Asharak wrote: ↑Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:48 am
Z-Corn wrote: ↑Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:22 pm What does GAL mean?
Wonder Woman is supervising his custody battle.

- Ash

I wish.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:09 am

I assumed it stood for Gladiatorial Arbitration Liaison - an optional court process where an impartial party prepares weapons for each side and assigns an arena. Only one person may leave alive.

Vorret · Post by **Vorret** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:26 am

Crazy story, good luck in court!

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue Oct 16, 2018 10:18 am

Paingod wrote: ↑Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:09 am I assumed it stood for Gladiatorial Arbitration Liaison - an optional court process where an impartial party prepares weapons for each side and assigns an arena. Only one person may leave alive.

Open the Moon Door!