Ex-wife is moving in. I'd like my eight dollars back, please.

[Blackhawk]

Still, a serious post and well wishes for Blackhawk are in order. I hope it sticks this time around, and I hope your routine comes back into focus quickly.

Like I said, there's a reason we spent a year getting back together. We've always stayed close friends, and have been in each others' lives for 28 years now (she was 15, I was 17) but there were reasons we divorced (many of which I wasn't aware of when I posted about it 11 years ago.) First we took time to make sure we enjoyed just spending time together, then we wanted to make sure that we'd both grown past the things that caused problems all those years ago. When we were sure of that, we took more time to make sure that we could both leave the past in the past, were over past mistakes, and could approach this not as a continuation of what we had before, but as two different people in a new relationship.

We determined right at the beginning that we absolutely would not tell the kids until we were both certain it would work. We're not willing to run experiments with them involved.

[Isgrimnur]

Sounds like wonderful changes are afoot. Congratulations!

Sounds like significant changes abound. Good luck!

Someone needs to debug the script engine. It's repeating itself.

[Grifman]

Congrats to both of you! Hoping and praying that it works out for your family, and that you are all blessed by this change.

[Apollo]

As someone who let his ex-wife move in again 6 years after our divorce, I would be careful. Anytime someone has lost their means of support and now wants to have a relationship that involves them moving in with you, I would be very, very cautious. That is unless you don't mind someone freeloading off you indefinitely. I think this would all work out a lot better in the long run if she could support herself and had her own place, or if you were just friends and you were helping her out temporarily.

But, hey, good luck anyway.

[Zaxxon]

Last Wednesday she moved in.

Woohoo! Congratudolences!

I know it sounds strange to people with normally wired brains, but without routines, I hit a wall.

Doesn't sound strange to me at all. I can barely keep up with my kids' schedules, and I work from home and they're 7 and 4.

And then there's the issue of money.

Here's hoping for a speedy (as possible) move and successful job search.

It's a great situation. I'm really happy with how things are turning out, and it is so, so nice to have a family again after more than a decade.

Indy's traffic is pretty mild compared to some places I've lived and driven.

*snort* Indy traffic. Lol, dude.

In a few years we really hope to be gone. Hell, even Terre Haute would be a step up.

Lemme know if Denver's in your future!

I dug up the pictures. August 19, 2005. A little over 13 years.

Damn. We olde.

[Jeff V]

As someone who let his ex-wife move in again 6 years after our divorce, I would be careful. Anytime someone has lost their means of support and now wants to have a relationship that involves them moving in with you, I would be very, very cautious. That is unless you don't mind someone freeloading off you indefinitely. I think this would all work out a lot better in the long run if she could support herself and had her own place, or if you were just friends and you were helping her out temporarily.

But, hey, good luck anyway.

I would suggest having boundaries and expectations well-defined. One of my minions was in a situation where about 12 years ago, his ex-wife moved back in with him and he'd tell me how great they got along without the overhead of marriage weighing on them (they also had a rather unusual common interest). A few weeks ago, he told me that he caught her in bed with another dude (this was a month before I recently was out with both of them) and he still doesn't know what's going to happen - apparently she's going to move out but hasn't as yet.

[Blackhawk]

Anytime someone has lost their means of support and now wants to have a relationship that involves them moving in with you, I would be very, very cautious.

That is not the order of operations in this case. She took a reduction in lifestyle with this decision.

[Blackhawk]

In a few years we really hope to be gone. Hell, even Terre Haute would be a step up.

Lemme know if Denver's in your future!

I wish! I loved it when I lived there before.

[Hrothgar]

I hope it works out for you two BH.

But what happened with the

she no longer feels any sort of romantic attachment to men

?

The same thing that happened to 'she only feels romantic attachment to men': A decade happened. She explored that part of herself, was engaged to a woman for a while, and continued to change the same way all of us do. For example the Blackhawk that wrote that original post was a dedicated religious person (a pagan.) The Blackhawk now is a skeptic and disinterested atheist. A decade is along time, especially when you spend it overcoming your own problems and getting to know yourself.

Good luck. Here's hoping that any future changes are in a positive direction.

I have to ask. What's involved in being a dedicated pagan? Now that you've left, do you have to worry about the Pagan Inquisition coming after you?

[Blackhawk]

Nah, just friends leaving in droves. If anybody in the bible belt is hated more than a dirt-worshipping pagan, it's an atheist!

And I'm serious about that.

[em2nought]

Nah, just friends leaving in droves. If anybody in the bible belt is hated more than a dirt-worshipping pagan, it's an atheist!

And I'm serious about that.

Luckily atheists don't conduct a whole bunch of rituals thus letting you fly below the radar.

[Blackhawk]

Your image is broken, but yeah - Beltane was always fun. I do miss the community.

[em2nought]

Your image is broken, but yeah - Beltane was always fun. I do miss the community.

I had to find something different. lol I guess it's NSFW, but I made it small.

[Blackhawk]

That was a scene from The Wicker Man, not an actual ritual (although it contained traditional elements.)

[El Guapo]

Ok, so I've been wondering - why eight dollars?

[Zaxxon]

Ok, so I've been wondering - why eight dollars?

Simpsons reference.

[Smoove_B]

Simpsons did it first!

[Isgrimnur]

But why make models?

[Blackhawk]

Ok, so I've been wondering - why eight dollars?

Simpsons reference.

Sort of. The original thread when I filed was a Simpsons reference. This thread was a call back to that one. This one is technically a Simpsons reference reference.

[Paingod]

A few weeks ago, he told me that he caught her in bed with another dude (this was a month before I recently was out with both of them) and he still doesn't know what's going to happen - apparently she's going to move out but hasn't as yet.

That right there is a "house key revoking, clothes on the lawn, here's your shit in a box, good luck with your new life" offense. I wouldn't put up with sleeping under the same roof as someone who cheated on me, regardless of the circumstances.

[Blackhawk]

A couple of weeks in, and things are going fine. The kids have adapted, I've begun to establish new routines and can actually get things done. Her mother's move is out of the way (although there is still a ton of low-pressure unpacking to do.) Although it is incredibly crowded with four adult-sized people in this tiny apartment, we've managed to get most things put away here. We've begun merging our parenting styles (I'm very structured, she's very spontaneous.) The actual head-butting has been at a minimum, which is great during this period.

She already has leads on a few jobs, and the real search begins next week. She's absolutely miserable not working. She's got her dad's attitude about activity - if you're resting, you're wasting. In her old life she was busy 24/7 (much of it taking care of her mother), but here she doesn't feel like she has a purpose, and it is driving her up up the wall.

One new thing, though: Some anonymous OO folks sent me an Amazon gift card! It's enough to take a lot of pressure off over the next couple of months. It frees up the money I normally put back for Christmas, and by buying some household stuff (paper towels, tea, toothpaste, etc) off of Amazon, it'll take some pressure off of the bank account, too. Thank you so much, all of you!