Wife in hospital..stroke

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Madmarcus
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Madmarcus »

Checking in late due to time difference but wishing for a good recovery. Take care of yourself Brian!
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Stefan Stirzaker »

Look after yourself for when she gets more awake. Shes in the best place at the hospital. Hope she improves quick so she can go home.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

She is laying here in her bed beside me twitching and kicking and pushing to move arou d. She pulls her monitor leads out and she wont listen to me or answer me. She looks at me while doi g it. Might as well be a million miles away. At 4am they assessed her after she was alseep and they had to change her. She wore herself out and fell asleep again so I nodded off. Less than an hour later I open my eyes and she has pulled her leads out, her gown off, and has messed up her arm line which is goi g tobe hell on her and them.

Im zero use even here. She doesnt listen and I have no idea what she is doi ng. Im kinda thinking that before noon when its busier and she can getmore watching I may go home to try and get a couple hpurs nap in. I almost wish they could sedste her and strap her in. And yet just now she tellsme she loves me. At a loss.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

And now she is sound asleep again. Totally quiet and still....no cover and its cool in here but Im not bothering her. I dont like coffee but they said some free coffee is down the hall. Free is free and its caffeine so may sneak out for a cup. They are also going to give me a cot to try tonight instead of this recliner.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Chrisoc13 »

So sorry to hear this. Test to get some rest yourself.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

The doc just left. No good news. He is worried he doesnt see any improvement. They will keep her until wed or thurs prob. From here its ti siskin or ciskin . It a rehab hospital. But unless something improves in a day or two she will never get better. She doesnt realize her surroundings he said. She isnt able to eat or drink...getting ivs. If that stays the same he said she would need a pet line I think for her meds and I guess food.

All I can do is hope and pray. I doubt I can care for her but without her I cant live. Terrible right now.

Going to drive home soon and feed the dogs and maybe me. Life changes so fast. Friday morn normal now nothing but hope. 31 years and she is only 63
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Im home for a couple few hours. Going to feed the dogs and try to eat something then Im going to rest or something with my little dog then head back down around 4. I think Im going to run out of gas again in a few days. We get our checks Thursday. 60 miles each day drinks it. The news was devastating to me. Im sorry its not better all. Keep thinking of her plz and praying and hoping and wishing. I dont know if they can do much more.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Oh ya...doctor said there doesn't seem to be a hole in her heart for a blood clot to pass through. They may do one more test where they run and endoscope ultrasound down her throat and look at the heart from behind. But he doesn't think its that. When I again asked how is it possible to have a blood clot h on a strong blood thinner and suffer strokes he ...they get a little deffensive of their treatment here and how long it took to start Heparin.....he said that even on blood thinner strokes happen and clots can form or move. He also said he like Eliquist but there are stronger ones. And lastly about getting there friday night and them not starting heparin until 5pm Sat evening the nurse said the yhad t orun all the scans and tests and the doctors had to see them after read and then decide on treatment. But before midnight friday night when I got her there they had run a ct a chest xray and then a MRI and rulled out bleeding and did not see a clot. The ytold me then that it was a wait and see thing since it was too late for something I cant recall. Then they ran another ct I think late..or maybe it was the mri...and said there or the spots and signs of a stroke and then they got her a room by 4am but still no treatment really other than fluid until 5pm .
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Holman »

So sorry to hear this news, Daehawk. Wishing the best for you both.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by The Meal »

Best luck to the both of you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Hyena »

Strong prayers for you and Donna, Brian.

Someone posted on here how much of the internet is real, but in situations like this, when someone reaches out for emotional support from hundreds of strangers, most of whom you've never met? I'd say there's not much more real than that.

Prayers for strength when you feel the weakest, understanding for when you're at a loss, and support from an invisible hand that will guide you and give you peace of mind and heart.

Keep us posted, friend.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Skinypupy »

Just catching up on this, so sorry to hear Daehaek.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Zitterbacke »

Best wishes for both of you, stay strong!
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Thank you all. Not sure whats going to happen next or where life is going to go. Ive tried to eat and sleep and cant do them . Got maybe an hour sleep since Friday and half a cup of yogurt and some candy.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Jeff V »

Good luck to you both. Strokes are unpredictable things, hope the outcome is good.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by rhinohelix »

All the best for you and your wife, Daehawk.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Its almost 10am monday morn. No doctors have been by yet. Hoping they do before noon as I ned to leave and then come back.

I thought no improvement or change. The nurse couldnt rouse her up to talk. But then her speak girl came in who was here saturday and Donna woke right up and perked up a lot. She speakers words better and can answer a few more things and answers faster. No sentences but tells me she loves me, knows who I am and my name and nick still.she seems more alert....not a lot but its there. The speech lady tested lots of stuff and has cleared Donna to eat and drink......soft mush foods and slightly thickened drink........like warmed honey thickness. Yay!

I was freaked this morning thinking no change or worse but this is hopeful stuff.

Still hope to catch the doc. I slept 4 hours beside her. But Im sick at my stomach. Hope its just nerves otherwise I wont be able to visit.

Thanks for the continued support and guidance!
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Lassr »

So sorry to hear about Donna. :(

I hope for a speedy recovery! And never be afraid to ask for any help here, we've done it in the past and I'm sure we'll continue to do it. This place is like my 2nd family.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Carpet_pissr »

Daehawk wrote: Mon Dec 31, 2018 10:57 am her speak girl came in who was here saturday and Donna woke right up and perked up a lot. She speakers words better and can answer a few more things and answers faster. No sentences but tells me she loves me, knows who I am and my name and nick still.she seems more alert....not a lot but its there.

I was freaked this morning thinking no change or worse but this is hopeful stuff.
Excellent! I hope she continues to improve, but sorry to hear that this happened.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Xmann »

Daehawk wrote:Its almost 10am monday morn. No doctors have been by yet. Hoping they do before noon as I ned to leave and then come back.

I thought no improvement or change. The nurse couldnt rouse her up to talk. But then her speak girl came in who was here saturday and Donna woke right up and perked up a lot. She speakers words better and can answer a few more things and answers faster. No sentences but tells me she loves me, knows who I am and my name and nick still.she seems more alert....not a lot but its there. The speech lady tested lots of stuff and has cleared Donna to eat and drink......soft mush foods and slightly thickened drink........like warmed honey thickness. Yay!

I was freaked this morning thinking no change or worse but this is hopeful stuff.

Still hope to catch the doc. I slept 4 hours beside her. But Im sick at my stomach. Hope its just nerves otherwise I wont be able to visit.

Thanks for the continued support and guidance!
Remember Brian, recovery takes time. This is positive and good progress.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Kraken »

Glad you got some encouraging news. I hope it keeps up.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Ok main update for the day while Im home. You know what I posted above.

Adding this....

She knows stuff pretty good. Some stuff not at all. But I was on the phone by her with my sister and I asked Donna who I was talking to and she said sister. I asked whats her name and she told me that too. She is like she has been over sedated is all I can say. No focus and when she does it seem hard. Plus her right arm is almost useless. She can move it at the shoulder but elbow down nothing but a little strength..not much...tiny barely. She uses her left arm to move it and hold it. She feels it she says and she cant use it. She says it tingles sometimes but no pain.

They want to keep her until at least Wed. They want to see more improving and want to be sure she can eat. If not then a feeding tube. And Im sorry if I repeat stuff. They all see the improvement and hope for more. Kinda expect it.

But she has multiple stroke. Many. In the back, middle , and front of her brain. Brainstem itself is fine and clear. But SO many. They think an unknown cloth broke off and fell apart and kind shotgunned her brain. Landed all over it. Usually a stroke is one..in one spot of course. That is scary as hell.

Now Ive forgotten stuff I wanted to say.Oh..the bad part for me and home. I HATE this worry on me I just care about my wife but I have to think this...

In 31 years she is always by my side. Always. In those 31 years we have been apart during a day maybe 2 weeks worth total. Less than 1 month. Always together. Do everything together. She handles everything. EVERYTHING. She does the bill paying and all banking. Knows it all and more. I dont. I dont know anything but computers and house and yard stuff.

Ok. Im going to have to do ALL that this moth. I have no idea where the bills are. When they come due. WHat bank. We have 2 which Ill mention. I cant find her wallet, her card, her ID, or her rings even. And 2 super problems if they ends up worse than Im hoping for. I want her home and much better if not well. But I know well wont be what it was. Ok two things.

Other than all that above we are in bankruptsy. Paying all of it off. Not shirking it in any way. Not that Im judging that because I do have to drop bills like the extra medicare wont pay..which they pay a huge amount. ANyways. If something goes bad and she is not mentally better and cant come home then I get only my check. The bill is auto each month and at its current price its 2/3 my disability check. I can talk to a lawyer on that if I have to But to change it to a small amount..UGh. It should pay off this year. If I change it it will be years more.

And two...We are both on disability but I went to court sans lawyer...Donna worked it all out with me and for me. She basically did it all and won me my amount. BUT they had to make her payee. So my check is in her name for me. To Donna for Brian it basically says. No lawyer to talk to. Im afraid any place that can take her money can take mine as well.

But right now the worry is my paying for stuff. The 2 banks were because she has one and has to have another in her name and mine for me.I cant find bills. I dont even know what charges or what needs manual paying. Im trying to write stuff down but good lord. Never thought we'd need to bother. Both planned a longer longer normal life for us.

Ok screw that for now...have to think of it because cant lose house, car, power, you name it. SO much stuff she did..all of it. But I just want her back better and herself for her and then me I dont give a crap if we have to move...well I do but not instead of her. I feel selfish thinking it even but I have to.

Oh Lord this is a mess. Keep up the great thoughts and prayers and voodoo if one of you is doing that :) Need much more improvement.

Im home right now. Its 3:12 and I have to hit the road by 4 to get there before dark. I cant see. Bad part of town too. Check engine light is one and tire leaks. Gonna be strong storms tonight and our dogs are super frightened by them. Usually we hold them and comport the little chi. But he will be alone. He is so freaked out when I get home. He just runs and dances and screams.

Also may need to change my schedule this weekend. If and when it turns colder..below 35 at night...Ill have to come home and stay all night to keep him warm and then leave the next day to stay with her probably in the rehab place. I need to learn stuff too there.

Thanks all!!! SO very much!

Brian / Dae Donna and Buster the chihuahua
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Wanted to add our checks come Thursday but Im sure how much to spend or what card even if I find her. Bills come from each at different times and mounts. So will need to be stingy I guess except for necessities.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Jaymann »

If any bills go past due, I'm sure they will send you a late notice. This is why I generally do not pay bills online.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

She usually has me only pay cable and power online. Car insurance is only every so often. I hope its not now. Now idea on house...might be part of the bankruptsy not sure. Garbage is at the can. see not sure what else right now...food and gas and such of course.

I found her wedding rings! She wanted them but we were in a hurry and I couldn't find them Friday. Just did. Still no cards. Will check tomorrow ...out of time.

MUST remember to cancel her pain doc appt on the 8th!! They are closed until the 2nd though.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Got back at 5pm. Just like the nurse this morning I couldnt rouse her at all. I spent 10 min speaking louder calling her name and tickling her and rubbing her foot. Nothing. 15 minutes later the phone range and its her cousin and while Im talking she woke right up. She opened her eyes and scooter more upright. I told her they wished her well and loved her and Donna replies I love them. She kept saying stuff but mostly one word at a time.

She stay awake and has been awake for anout 2 hours. Groggy now and nidding. She had her eyes open a lot. I fed her some jello and mashed potatoes. I asked her if she was hungry and if she want ed pudding or potatoes and she said pudding then some tates later. Not anything huge..maybe 8 spoons jello and 3 potatoes. Drank some thickened tea but after 3 or 3 spoons she kinda had to cough so stopped that for now. Maybe that was wrong.

With people like this its tough to think of questions they know without asking one word reply ones....yes nomaybe and such. But she did answer correctly everytime. I asked her what does Peyton Manning do? And she instantly said plays football. Nice. Did a cpuple otherslike that and she nailed them. Some slowly......most slowly.....with prodding

Can onlyhopeand pray. Also the nurse did get to say hi and see her awakebefore going offshift forthe week .

She is almost asleep again now. Said I love you after i told her before she started drifting off
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Kraken »

That sounds like good progress to me. Hang in there.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by AWS260 »

Yes, that sounds like great progress. Recovery is a long road, so try not to sweat the pace of it too much. And take time to take care of yourself - sleep, eat, etc.

Sending much love to you both.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Thanks all.

Xmann have you ever encountered a stroke patient like my wife where there multiple strokes some good sized all over in the front middle and back of the brain like my wife?....btw her brain stem is clear and all bloodword and stats are great.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

I want all of you to know that during one of her alertish times today I read her all of your comments. Every last one. She knows Oo....or how she would call it "your octopus site" :D
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

As soon as I woke up at near 8 this morning the nurse wants me to sign a consent for blood. Says her reading is 6.5 and should be 8 which is a full big bags worth. I refused until talking to doc if I can catch him. Wife is deathly afraid of aids. Much calmer these days compared to the 90s where she wouldnt use publics toilets..wild fear yes but even 4 years ago after heart surgery she asked multile times if they had to give her blood.

They said these dzys its pretty safe but they cant guaranty it is safe or doesnt have aids or something. Im awful at decisions its why my wife handles this . If I agree and she improves but ends up with aids then what?

They cant know why she is low on blood. She isnt losing any that we see. Stools are always normal. They draw some blood every 6 hours and she is on thinner......but why is her blood a big bag low??

Ill most likely consent to it....I dont know what else to do. But what if??? It another long time worry. Even with her fear im not sure what she would say if they told her what they tell me.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

I hate this all so much! I just want our life back.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Lorini »

She's not getting aids through blood transfusions. They know how to test for that, it's done routinely. I hope your life gets back to normal as soon as possible and she feels better!!
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

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Daehawk wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 9:15 am As soon as I woke up at near 8 this morning the nurse wants me to sign a consent for blood. Says her reading is 6.5 and should be 8 which is a full big bags worth. I refused until talking to doc if I can catch him. Wife is deathly afraid of aids. Much calmer these days compared to the 90s where she wouldnt use publics toilets..wild fear yes but even 4 years ago after heart surgery she asked multile times if they had to give her blood.

They said these dzys its pretty safe but they cant guaranty it is safe or doesnt have aids or something. Im awful at decisions its why my wife handles this . If I agree and she improves but ends up with aids then what?

They cant know why she is low on blood. She isnt losing any that we see. Stools are always normal. They draw some blood every 6 hours and she is on thinner......but why is her blood a big bag low??

Ill most likely consent to it....I dont know what else to do. But what if??? It another long time worry. Even with her fear im not sure what she would say if they told her what they tell me.
Please. Consent!

You already mentioned this was the best place for her. They are doing what can be done, but you can't hold them back out of some 20 year old fear about getting AIDS from this.
Feel for you Daehawk.... I know this is basically impossible for you and you ARE DOING GREAT so far. Stay strong. If nothing else, you know she wants you to be strong.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

I try to think if it was reversed what she would do for me. Whatever would help is what I come up with.

I saw her numbers. Its been dropped over a point each dsy since arriving. 12- 16 is normal she is 6.7 i think. So I am going to consent.

Where its going or why is a mystery. Why they arent doing a scan in her head or body for it I dont know.

And doc is still not here. I needed more time at home today.

And her breathing is fast and labored to me....30 to 40 breaths per mon...fast and shallow.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Unagi »

Just from experience with relatives I will say this... When blood thinners are introduced to a person, finding where they are losing blood becomes problematic. Stop the thinners, the bleeding stops... but the thinners are needed.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Zarathud »

Hospitals are disorienting places. Even healthy normal people are going to have difficulty there. All the light, noise and disruption. Keep that in mind. I can't imagine how bad it is for someone after a stroke.

Consent to the blood. They've given her blood thinners which is going to affect her readings. AIDS testing is much better now and the risk is low -- but they're obligated to tell you there is some risk. There is also a risk crossing the street, so keep some perspective about what you're told.

It's hard, but hang in there. She's probably stressed from everything, and you're stressed too. Get as much rest as you can so you can be strong when she needs you.

This is going to take time. I'm hoping she gets better -- and that you are able to take care of yourself too.
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Daehawk »

Thanks.

Im still here. Should be home right now. Waiting on doc. May need to miss them

Blood is starting soon. Pac cells? Just red cells. Said it could be anemia from the stroke....some kinda bone marrow shock or stress or something.

Doc has examined her. Also said that breathing is possibly .....and im spelling this wrong I bet.....chain stokes bresthing. Or even just missing some ans catching up.

If only she could wake up.....be here mentaly. Ive got no info on that. To me strokes were loss of movements and sometimes speech problems. This sedated sleep like mental thing is new to my knowledge and its damn frightening.

But all other stuff is spot on good stat wise. Its very frustrating and maddening that heart and blood and other movements are great yet her mental is so dropped. We could deal with her arm and other things but we need her here in the mental sharpness.
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Blackhawk
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Blackhawk »

FWIW, the last statistics I remember seeing put the chances of getting HIV infected blood through a transfusion at about one in two million. She's about three times as likely to be struck by lightning in the next twelve months as she is to get contaminated blood.

Compare that risk to what happens if she doesn't get the blood.
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Xmann
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Re: Wife in hospital..stroke

Post by Xmann »

Brian, if she's still on Heparin I would have concerns. Hemoglobin of 6.5 is half of what it should be. 8 is as low as they'd like to see it.

#1. Consent for blood because she needs it. However, it's not a nurse responsibility to do that. A doctor should be talking to you about why she needs it and the risk/rewards. I've worked in plenty of hospitals where it's required for a physician to explain this prior to receiving the blood. Your wife can't receive blood unless that consent has been signed by a physician.

#2. Have they checked to make sure she isn't bleeding because of the Heparin? How are her Platelets? Ask to make sure they are normal. Heparin can cause Heparin-induced thrombocytopenia (HIT), that means low platelets from receiving Heparin. If they are low, ask why she's still on Heparin.

#3. What have you been told about why she's become anemic over the past few days?

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