Amazon has whacked our affiliate account. Hosting Donations/Commitments $2063 of $1920 (Sept 13/18). In Hand $1466 (Lump sum payments minus paypal graft). Paypal Donation Link Here

So.....my dad died

Everything else!

Moderators: Bakhtosh, EvilHomer3k

Jeff V
Posts: 30893
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:17 pm
Location: Nowhere you want to be.

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Jeff V » Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:27 am

My condolences RW, sounds like your dad was quite an admirable person and role model. I'm sure you made him proud too...keep carrying on his legacy.

User avatar
Alefroth
Posts: 4279
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2004 1:56 pm
Location: Bellingham WA

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Alefroth » Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:40 pm

So sorry to hear that Remus. Hope you are able to honor his life and find some peace.

User avatar
gbasden
Posts: 5631
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 1:57 am
Location: Sacramento, CA

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by gbasden » Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:08 pm

I'm really sorry. I just lost my father this fall, and he was a wonderful man. Now my mom is at the hospital for a possible fractured hip. I feel you for sure.

User avatar
Holman
Posts: 20237
Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 8:00 pm
Location: Approximately Wissahickon

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Holman » Wed Jan 09, 2019 7:33 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, Remus.
Much prefer my Nazis Nuremberged.

User avatar
Remus West
Posts: 32749
Joined: Mon May 09, 2005 5:39 pm
Location: Not in Westland

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Remus West » Fri Jan 11, 2019 2:42 pm

Yesterday a friend of my father's from my youth who had a stroke in 2012 sent a letter my dad wrote to him shortly after wishing him a swift recovery. His friend said he had kept it in his bedside drawer for the 6 year since but thought he should share it with Dad's children. In the letter Dad spoke of how the two of them may be past their primes but should still be so proud of the children they raised and what wonderful people all their children were. I'm not going to quote the whole letter (or even do more than the paraphrasing I already did) but it felt so good and horribel at the same time to read it. It felt amazing to see my dad expressing his pride in my sisters and myself but it reopened unhealed wounds of his loss. This sucks.
“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” - H.L. Mencken

User avatar
Daehawk
Posts: 42598
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 1:11 am
daehawk’s avatar
Snooze

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Daehawk » Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:32 pm

I understand RW. On close losses there seems to be no relief. And if you do get some its fast and then makes you feel bad. At least with me right now.

Im very sorry for your loss is never enough words is it? It is nice and kind and appreciated....but nothing helps.

I wish anyone going through loss better days sooner than later.
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
---------------------------------------------
I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
GroovAtroN, stop asking
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/daehawk

User avatar
Remus West
Posts: 32749
Joined: Mon May 09, 2005 5:39 pm
Location: Not in Westland

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Remus West » Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:34 pm

Today I was looking through old emails trying to clean up the folders and figure out what I had kept in all of them. I found an email from my father that contained the text of a poem I had written for his 60th birthday. It also included a bit about how much he enjoyed it and what it meant to him. He kept the original in a frame on his desk from the time he got it until he passed. Seeing it without being emotionally prepared to see it almost brought me to tears in front of a group of students who were working in my room. I managed to make an excuse to leave the room and went into a supply closet to cry for a bit before returning to class. Thank god it happened during my plan and not during a class.
“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” - H.L. Mencken

User avatar
dbt1949
Posts: 20394
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 12:34 am
Location: Hogeye Arkansas

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by dbt1949 » Mon Feb 11, 2019 4:35 pm

Wen my dad died my mom gave me a sketch he drew back when he was in collage. (late 40s)
It was really cute and really good. I never would have thought my dad was capable of it.
It's been hanging on my wall for over 30 years now.
Ye Olde Farte
Double Ought Forty
aka dbt1949

User avatar
Daehawk
Posts: 42598
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 1:11 am
daehawk’s avatar
Snooze

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Daehawk » Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:01 pm

I know its tough and at times is overwhelming Remus. Im very sorry you are going through this loss. Im going through a nightmare each day and I dont even know what to say to you. I never did to those with loss like our's. I hope one day your memories and items can make you smile. I know its impossible right now. It may always be. But I hope better days find you.
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
---------------------------------------------
I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
GroovAtroN, stop asking
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/daehawk

User avatar
Kelric
Posts: 30094
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:20 pm
Location: Whip City
Kelric’s avatar
Offline

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Kelric » Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:35 pm

Sorry, RW, it sucks. My dad passed nearly five years ago and just today a brief glimpse of a stranger in a store made me think it was him. I try to be as good a father as he was, but I probably won't be. Make sure to grieve and respect the fact that you should.

User avatar
Grifman
Posts: 17909
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:17 pm

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Grifman » Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:46 am

it's not unusual. I'll be driving and see something that brings my dad to mind and it can be overwhelming. But then after I compose myself, I can smile at the memory and be happy it is there, even if he isn't.
Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions. – G.K. Chesterton

User avatar
Daehawk
Posts: 42598
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 1:11 am
daehawk’s avatar
Snooze

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Daehawk » Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:39 am

Kelric wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:35 pm
Sorry, RW, it sucks. My dad passed nearly five years ago and just today a brief glimpse of a stranger in a store made me think it was him. I try to be as good a father as he was, but I probably won't be. Make sure to grieve and respect the fact that you should.
My sister said Id see people Id think were my wife. Its true.
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
---------------------------------------------
I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
GroovAtroN, stop asking
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/daehawk

User avatar
Remus West
Posts: 32749
Joined: Mon May 09, 2005 5:39 pm
Location: Not in Westland

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Remus West » Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:55 pm

Yeah, I've seen a couple people that made me look again only to realize they look nothing like my Dad.

The email made me happy to have a reminder of our bond and that he knew how much he meant to me. It also brought back all the pain of losing him. I keep thinking maybe I've healed a little and then something rips the bandaid off and I'm back at square one.
“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” - H.L. Mencken

User avatar
Skinypupy
Posts: 12857
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 10:12 am
Location: Pac-12 Country

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Skinypupy » Tue Feb 12, 2019 4:20 pm

Remus West wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:34 pm
Today I was looking through old emails trying to clean up the folders and figure out what I had kept in all of them. I found an email from my father that contained the text of a poem I had written for his 60th birthday. It also included a bit about how much he enjoyed it and what it meant to him. He kept the original in a frame on his desk from the time he got it until he passed. Seeing it without being emotionally prepared to see it almost brought me to tears in front of a group of students who were working in my room. I managed to make an excuse to leave the room and went into a supply closet to cry for a bit before returning to class. Thank god it happened during my plan and not during a class.
it's been about 18 months since my dad passed, and something similar happens to me. I'll be fine and not even think about it for weeks, then all of a sudden I'll catch a tiny bit of a song, a certain smell, someone's voice, or some other completely random trigger that simply floods me with memories of dad and I just lose it.

It's tough, but I like the random reminders, once the emotion passes.
“Don’t tickle the wall clown.” - MST3K

User avatar
Scuzz
Posts: 9155
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:31 pm
Location: The Arm Pit of California

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Scuzz » Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:06 pm

dbt1949 wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 4:35 pm
Wen my dad died my mom gave me a sketch he drew back when he was in collage. (late 40s)
It was really cute and really good. I never would have thought my dad was capable of it.
It's been hanging on my wall for over 30 years now.
When my father retired one of the things he did to keep busy was to start doing art projects. He wasn't to keen on ceramics but he could always draw, having worked as a draftsman at one time. I have a couple of his paintings on my wall at home.

User avatar
Daehawk
Posts: 42598
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 1:11 am
daehawk’s avatar
Snooze

Re: So.....my dad died

Post by Daehawk » Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:35 pm

You too Skiny. Im so sorry man. It happens to us all but it doesn't make it easier for anyone. I had Donna through all our losses and she had me. Being alone with the final loss is not .....well its just not.... I wish you the best too man.
https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-di ... -wife-died ....Help for me to take care of stuff . Wife died Jan 9 2019 after 31 years. My soulmate.
---------------------------------------------
I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
GroovAtroN, stop asking
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/daehawk

Post Reply