Octopus Overlords

My condolences RW, sounds like your dad was quite an admirable person and role model. I'm sure you made him proud too...keep carrying on his legacy.

So sorry to hear that Remus. Hope you are able to honor his life and find some peace.

I'm really sorry. I just lost my father this fall, and he was a wonderful man. Now my mom is at the hospital for a possible fractured hip. I feel you for sure.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Remus.

Yesterday a friend of my father's from my youth who had a stroke in 2012 sent a letter my dad wrote to him shortly after wishing him a swift recovery. His friend said he had kept it in his bedside drawer for the 6 year since but thought he should share it with Dad's children. In the letter Dad spoke of how the two of them may be past their primes but should still be so proud of the children they raised and what wonderful people all their children were. I'm not going to quote the whole letter (or even do more than the paraphrasing I already did) but it felt so good and horribel at the same time to read it. It felt amazing to see my dad expressing his pride in my sisters and myself but it reopened unhealed wounds of his loss. This sucks.

I understand RW. On close losses there seems to be no relief. And if you do get some its fast and then makes you feel bad. At least with me right now.

Im very sorry for your loss is never enough words is it? It is nice and kind and appreciated....but nothing helps.

I wish anyone going through loss better days sooner than later.

Today I was looking through old emails trying to clean up the folders and figure out what I had kept in all of them. I found an email from my father that contained the text of a poem I had written for his 60th birthday. It also included a bit about how much he enjoyed it and what it meant to him. He kept the original in a frame on his desk from the time he got it until he passed. Seeing it without being emotionally prepared to see it almost brought me to tears in front of a group of students who were working in my room. I managed to make an excuse to leave the room and went into a supply closet to cry for a bit before returning to class. Thank god it happened during my plan and not during a class.

Wen my dad died my mom gave me a sketch he drew back when he was in collage. (late 40s)
It was really cute and really good. I never would have thought my dad was capable of it.
It's been hanging on my wall for over 30 years now.

I know its tough and at times is overwhelming Remus. Im very sorry you are going through this loss. Im going through a nightmare each day and I dont even know what to say to you. I never did to those with loss like our's. I hope one day your memories and items can make you smile. I know its impossible right now. It may always be. But I hope better days find you.

Sorry, RW, it sucks. My dad passed nearly five years ago and just today a brief glimpse of a stranger in a store made me think it was him. I try to be as good a father as he was, but I probably won't be. Make sure to grieve and respect the fact that you should.

it's not unusual. I'll be driving and see something that brings my dad to mind and it can be overwhelming. But then after I compose myself, I can smile at the memory and be happy it is there, even if he isn't.

Kelric wrote: ↑Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:35 pm Sorry, RW, it sucks. My dad passed nearly five years ago and just today a brief glimpse of a stranger in a store made me think it was him. I try to be as good a father as he was, but I probably won't be. Make sure to grieve and respect the fact that you should.

My sister said Id see people Id think were my wife. Its true.

Yeah, I've seen a couple people that made me look again only to realize they look nothing like my Dad.

The email made me happy to have a reminder of our bond and that he knew how much he meant to me. It also brought back all the pain of losing him. I keep thinking maybe I've healed a little and then something rips the bandaid off and I'm back at square one.

Remus West wrote: ↑Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:34 pm Today I was looking through old emails trying to clean up the folders and figure out what I had kept in all of them. I found an email from my father that contained the text of a poem I had written for his 60th birthday. It also included a bit about how much he enjoyed it and what it meant to him. He kept the original in a frame on his desk from the time he got it until he passed. Seeing it without being emotionally prepared to see it almost brought me to tears in front of a group of students who were working in my room. I managed to make an excuse to leave the room and went into a supply closet to cry for a bit before returning to class. Thank god it happened during my plan and not during a class.

it's been about 18 months since my dad passed, and something similar happens to me. I'll be fine and not even think about it for weeks, then all of a sudden I'll catch a tiny bit of a song, a certain smell, someone's voice, or some other completely random trigger that simply floods me with memories of dad and I just lose it.

It's tough, but I like the random reminders, once the emotion passes.

dbt1949 wrote: ↑Mon Feb 11, 2019 4:35 pm Wen my dad died my mom gave me a sketch he drew back when he was in collage. (late 40s)
It was really cute and really good. I never would have thought my dad was capable of it.
It's been hanging on my wall for over 30 years now.

When my father retired one of the things he did to keep busy was to start doing art projects. He wasn't to keen on ceramics but he could always draw, having worked as a draftsman at one time. I have a couple of his paintings on my wall at home.

You too Skiny. Im so sorry man. It happens to us all but it doesn't make it easier for anyone. I had Donna through all our losses and she had me. Being alone with the final loss is not .....well its just not.... I wish you the best too man.