Mental health and teenage suicide

[Xmann]

Been a rough couple days.

Most of you know I'm a nursing director at a rather large hospital in Denver. What I want to share from yesterday has shaken me to my core.

The hospital I work at has recently started a way to honor patients and families who have decided to be an organ donor.

We have always had a flag ceremony where the chaplain raises the donor alliance flag and flies it at half staff. A short prayer is said and a moment of silence is observed. I've been to several and they are always moving.

Yesterday I attended our new ceremony called the honor walk.

Earlier this week, our PICU director shared that her department was dealing with a very emotional patient and her staff was struggling. I didn't know the particulars but I could see the anguish in her eyes and hurt in her voice. What I come to learn is this patient was a 15 year old kid who was on life support secondary to a suicide attempt, from cyber and school bullying.

Yesterday afternoon was the honor walk. Staff lined the hallway as the family left the PICU and made their way to the OR as their sons organs would be harvested. What I didn't know is the family would be accompanied by their son in his hospital bed, being bagged to keep him alive until he made it to the OR.

To say the least, seeing this child being led by his poor family to have his organs procured is perhaps the toughest thing I have ever been a part of. I don't know what was worse, seeing the child, his parents in unimaginable grief, or his poor poor brother begging for it not to be true. I can't begin to tell you what a horrific scene it was.

I was awake all night in my own sort of grief and I'm lying here tonight still moved to tears.

But tonight I'm angry. I'm angry that our kids are bullied to the point of taking their lives. Colorado leads the nation in teenage suicide. More kids age 10-24 die from suicide in Colorado than car accident or any other means. Are you kidding me!

When my son had struggles starting high school a couple years back and we were seeking assistance, we were told the wait for treatment would be 6 months, 6 fucking months!!

What in the hell is wrong with the mental health system in our country? Such senseless tragedies and families lives ruined. What are parents doing, or not doing, in raises their kids? As I stood in horror yesterday, i wished in some way that kids who bully could witness that dead kid. Them and their parents should be forced to hear the cries of a mother or watch as a brother is trying to climb into the hospital bed to touch his brother one last time.

I'm hurt, my soul is a bit shattered, and I'm angry. Wondering at what point this is going to be taken serious that a child won't have to wait 6 months to prevent a possible suicide. I feel helpless, but I'm angry.

What are we doing!

[Blackhawk]

I don't even have words.

[paulbaxter]

I'm so sorry for all of that, both the larger scale nature of the problem, and the fact that you've had to deal with it so personally and immediately.

I'll just throw out there that I've had the very positive experience a few times of seeing teens who had been dealing with very difficult emotional and social situations find a safe place in participating in theater. Finding SOME sort of accepting community to be a part of is so very important at that age.

[AWS260]

Thank you for posting this.

[Smoove_B]

I've been following a semi-local story here in NJ about a 12 year old girl that killed herself over bullying a few years ago. The girl's mother has been visiting various middle and high schools to talk to the kids about bullying and your post reminded me of this quote:

Mallory's older sister Carlee Grossman said the family's advocacy efforts were among the only options the family had when dealing with Mallory's death.

"When Mallory died, we had two options. We could lay on the couch and cry, or we could do something to make a difference, and we chose to make a difference," Carlee said while accepting an award from TLC in September. "We created Mallory's Army to spread the message that you are not alone, there are other kids like you, and it doesn't have to go as far as suicide for there to be change."

For anyone to try and turn an unimaginably horrible situation into something positive - like an advocacy group or organ donation - is noble beyond words.

[Daehawk]

Very sorry Xmann. Always going to be bullies. Some kids just cant handle it. But they shouldn't have to either. Its part of the world it seems. I remember it in high school myself.

Suicide is another can of worms. Ive thought about it a lot over the years. Now its something I try not to. I want to be with my wife more than anything else but suicide would prevent that very thing so I cant even if it tries to touch me.

Walking with your loved one to be a donor...that is hard to imagine. I dont think I could do it. My wife and me both are/were donors. I was in the room with my wife when she died and it wasn't long before a donor rep called on her phone. I answered. Told him to call back later. I was really surprised how fast they called. Guess they have to. But me and my wife had talked about it over the years. Of course I agreed to it. Its what Donna wanted. She always wanted to help others. So I spoke to him for 45 minutes after they made me leave her room. Im crying. Shit. Ill renew my license in April or so and Ill sign to be a donor again myself.