Have you changed since you got older?

Everything else!

Moderators: Bakhtosh, EvilHomer3k

Post Reply
User avatar
dbt1949
Posts: 25688
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 12:34 am
Location: Hogeye Arkansas

Have you changed since you got older?

Post by dbt1949 »

It's amazing how much my outlook on life and my opinions on everything have changed from when I was younger. Especially the last thirty years or so. I still have my strange sense of humor but everything is different.
Not to mention putting on weight. :?
Ye Olde Farte
Double Ought Forty
aka dbt1949
User avatar
coopasonic
Posts: 20969
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2005 11:43 pm
Location: Dallas-ish

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by coopasonic »

My weight hasn't really changed, but I like to think I have grown pretty significantly as a person. Most of it is self-awareness and acceptance of differences. I grew up kind of poor in a very small, poor, extremely white, rural town and now live in affluent, diverse suburbs of a big city and am no longer kind of poor. All that experience changes a lot.
-Coop
Black Lives Matter
User avatar
Kraken
Posts: 43690
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:59 pm
Location: The Hub of the Universe
Contact:

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Kraken »

Define "got older."

I changed a lot between my 20s and my 40s...less between my 40s and 50s...and not very much from my 50s onward. That probably owes to being self-employed from home. I have little interaction with humanity, so little pressure/incentive to change. I don't like change. Change is usually for the worse. My life's very stable, so I am too. I keep getting fatter and balder, but that hardly seems important.
User avatar
Exodor
Posts: 17196
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:10 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Exodor »

I have to shave my ear hair a lot more often at 46 than I did at 26.

Also I have a lot less hair on top of my head and a lot more gut.
sgoldj
Posts: 751
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 11:34 am

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by sgoldj »

I have not changed significantly since I turned 8 years old. I did a lot of growing up in my first 7 years.
User avatar
rittchard
Posts: 1664
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:16 pm

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by rittchard »

dbt1949 wrote: Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:29 pm It's amazing how much my outlook on life and my opinions on everything have changed from when I was younger. Especially the last thirty years or so. I still have my strange sense of humor but everything is different.
Not to mention putting on weight. :?
Ha! Yeah I see pictures of myself like 20 years ago and barely recognize what I see. I think I've gained like 60 pounds in the last 20 years, ugh.

I'm a lot crankier the past few years, which I assumed was part of some sort of midlife crisis but now I'm wondering if it subconsciously had to do with the changes in the political climate.

It's hard to remember how different life was pre-smart phone and tablet. As much as I hate to admit it, the changes in tech changed the way I interact with people and the world significantly.

The one thing that hasn't changed too much is I still love gaming, though even the way I game has changed quite a bit. And I still watch way too much TV, even worse with Netflix, etc.
User avatar
Isgrimnur
Posts: 82094
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2006 12:29 am
Location: Chookity pok
Contact:

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Isgrimnur »

sgoldj wrote:I have not changed significantly since I turned 8 years old. I did a lot of growing up in my first 7 years.
That’s either funny or really sad.
It's almost as if people are the problem.
User avatar
em2nought
Posts: 5309
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 5:48 am

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by em2nought »

I've always been shy of dealing with people up until now. The last ten years my job has forced me to interact more so I'm getting to where I can do it. Now when it's become more dangerous in this country to interact with people I've started doing it even outside of work, and usually in an attempted humorous way which is even more dangerous for someone "like" me. I hope I can retire soon, and move someplace where it's safer to be myself. Probably someplace nobody has any idea what I'm trying to say. LOL

The ear hair has definitely become a problem. I've got a wonderful set of tweezers for splinters, but I'm at a loss to find a set that's good for pulling hair off an earlobe. :think:
Technically, he shouldn't be here.
User avatar
Kraken
Posts: 43690
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:59 pm
Location: The Hub of the Universe
Contact:

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Kraken »

rittchard wrote: Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:32 pm The one thing that hasn't changed too much is I still love gaming, though even the way I game has changed quite a bit. And I still watch way too much TV, even worse with Netflix, etc.
I was going to say that the number after "Civilization" keeps getting higher as I age.

One thing that's been gradual, and is still ongoing, is finding fewer and fewer fucks to give. That's liberating. I can imagine reaching zero if I happen to live to 80.

Probably related -- my libido is also approaching zero, and that's also liberating. It's hard (hardy har har) to remember when that used to be a motivating force.
User avatar
Daehawk
Posts: 63530
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 1:11 am

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Daehawk »

Would take me too long to type everything out. And since life is dead to me now Im not going to bother :)
--------------------------------------------
I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
I guess Ray Butts has ate his last pancake.
http://steamcommunity.com/id/daehawk
"Has high IQ. Refuses to apply it"
Jeff V
Posts: 36414
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:17 pm
Location: Nowhere you want to be.

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Jeff V »

I'm certainly getting tired more often than ever before, but I blame the kids. Some days it's near-paralysis tired. Weight is currently within the range of highs and lows experienced since I quit smoking 25 years ago. My 20 year old self would have wondered how I managed to become such a fat-ass, but my 30-something self would understand.

I guess the biggest change is utter lack of excitement - over anything. When I was young, I'd get excited for a new album by a favorite band. I'd get excited when I had concert or sports tickets. I almost couldn't sleep the night before a fishing trip with my dad. Any sort of vacation would have me jacked for days ahead of time. When I found a game I loved, damned bedtime, I'd play it obsessively all hours of the night.

I can't blame the kids for this one, it really predates them. Traveling for work took the excitement out of travel and vacations. I stopped following music and ambivalence towards concerts followed. I had season tickets for the Bears in 1985 - and ever since it's been hard to muster excitement to see lesser teams and now the effort to go to a game seems more trouble than it's worth. I was once a journalist in the gaming industry, turning gaming into work really killed the excitement and I no longer have interest in learning new games, just new revs of games I've played forever. Fishing might make a come back if my son becomes interested and self-sufficient. For years now, it's been nothing but drudgery baiting hooks for others and trying to keep them in the water with little if any time to do any real fishing myself. I put off a camping/fishing trip for at least another year because the prospect of having to do it all myself simply exhausts me thinking about it (still planning separate camping and fishing trips, just not a combined week long trip).
Black Lives Matter
User avatar
Skinypupy
Posts: 20335
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 10:12 am
Location: Utah

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Skinypupy »

At 44, there's lots I can relate to here.

- I was 160 lbs when we got married 22 years ago. I'm 230 right now. I've added practically a whole 'nother person to me, and I hate it. I sort of expected it since everyone in my family ends up that way (rail thin until we turn 35, then we explode), but that doesn't make it any better.
- I'm always tired, no matter how much sleep I get. Some days are better than others, but there's never not a time where I feel like I couldn't just crawl into bed and sleep for days.
- I was fully unprepared for the level of energy required for almost-6-year-old twin boys. I can't keep up with them at all, and it's frustrating for all of us.
- The lack of motivation and energy about pretty much anything. I've always been a low-key sort of person, never getting too high or too low. But I feel like the last 5 years have taken that to an extreme. I have a hell of a time working up any energy or enthusiasm, even for things I used to be very passionate about. Utah football? Meh. New bands? Meh. A big, engaging RPG? Meh. A new fantasy book series? Meh. Feels like I'm just going through the motions now, and whatever creative or energetic spark I had feels like it's been crushed out of me.
- I find that I have a hell of a time focusing on anything for any length of time. Work projects, games, shows, books...anything I start, my mind just ends up wandering off to something else in short order.
- I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I'm a very good salesman and have done remarkably well at this job over the past 10 years, but I'm finding that I enjoy it less and less. Problem is, there's nothing I look at and say "I want to make a career change and go do THAT!". I keep hoping that something will hit me out of the blue one day, but it certainly hasn't happened yet. (I'll admit that this feeling is getting exacerbated significantly by having the first real "down" year of my career.)

TL:DR: Fat, low-energy, mid-career malaise that I can't seem to break out of. I suppose some of that is normal, but I see some of the cool things others here are doing (getting advanced degrees, starting new careers, etc.) and I can't help but wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life. How's that for a cheery outlook? :(

(Yes, I know that most of this is self-pitying bullshit and the answer is to just get off my ass and do something different, but hey...you asked.)
When darkness veils the world, four Warriors of Light shall come.
sgoldj
Posts: 751
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 11:34 am

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by sgoldj »

Isgrimnur wrote: Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:37 pm
sgoldj wrote:I have not changed significantly since I turned 8 years old. I did a lot of growing up in my first 7 years.
That’s either funny or really sad.
:horse: :D
Just the philosophy I picked up from two book titles (never actually read them)

Everything I needed to Know I learned in Kindergarten and Everything I Needed to Know I learned from Star Trek. Since I was born in 1960, both those were covered (at least Star Trek TOS) by the time I was 8.
User avatar
YellowKing
Posts: 30126
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 2:02 pm

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by YellowKing »

Overall I feel like I'm a better person now than I was 20 years ago.

Becoming a father combined with a political ideology change has made me much more tolerant. I still have a temper, but it has mellowed with age. Things that used to bother me a great deal don't anymore. I feel less concerned with what everyone else is doing and more concerned with just doing my own thing.

I'm in better shape now than I was 20 years ago. That's been a slow, arduous process and it's not easy maintaining it. It makes me wish I had been this health conscious in my 20s, when all this would have been 10x easier.

I still struggle with the same character flaws I had back then. Lack of self-confidence, introversion, self-absorption. I feel like I recognize it better now, and I try to correct it when I can. However, those things still hold me back from being a better husband and father. it's a daily battle to try to be more engaged with my family, and it's exhausting. My natural inclination is to remain immersed in solitary activities, and it takes a lot of effort to counter that.

However, I feel good and I feel positive towards the future. One thing I learned only after hitting my 40s is that most barriers in life are self-imposed mental constructs.
User avatar
Blackhawk
Posts: 43501
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:48 pm
Location: Southwest Indiana

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Blackhawk »

As I child I was strange, completely isolated, and grew up in an environment that could only be described as criminally neglectful to the point of abusive.

When I hit adulthood, I was a complete wash, a 14 year old in an adult's body without a clue. I was suffering from severe depression, and was so bent on uncontrolled escapism that I was completely oblivious to reality (not delusional, just willingly oblivious.) I had never learned to be an adult, and being forced into that world was like being tossed into the deep end to learn to swim. Spoiler: I sank.

At 30 I was a hardcore pagan who rarely left the house, married with two kids. I hadn't played a board game or an RPG in five years and spent every waking moment gaming. Every free moment was spent staring at the PC, gaming. I was about to become divorced, despite never once having lived alone.

Now I'm an atheist and a skeptic, I have enough board games that I'm running into storage issues, I am in two active pen and paper days, I have teenagers around the house, and I spend maybe an hour or two on most days - if I'm lucky - playing video games. Being single and alone for a decade completely and totally changed who I was. It (and OO, largely) caused me to give up my religion. My hobbies changed. My priorities changed. First I learned to accept being alone, then I learned to embrace being me, and learned to be honest with myself about who I am. That led to me taking joy in being myself, regardless of what the people around me thought about it. The people who stayed were my friends. Those who left in disgust never were. Now my ex-wife and I have been back together for over a year. She's moved in, and it's been like a do-over for my adulthood.

I have no complaints. I never would have gotten to where I am now, to who I am now, if I hadn't gone through the awful bits.
(˙pǝsɹǝʌǝɹ uǝǝq sɐɥ ʎʇıʌɐɹƃ ʃɐuosɹǝd ʎW)
User avatar
Scuzz
Posts: 10901
Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:31 pm
Location: The Arm Pit of California

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Scuzz »

Yes. In several ways and for several reasons.

I have raised two kids and gone from being a 20 something who knew it all (or didn't care) to a 60 something who knows nothing. I pweigh les now than I did 20 years ago, I am probably in better shape, but I do get tired quicker now.

I am in some ways more liberal, and in others I have kept some of my conservative thought. Thought I believed to be rational 20-30 years ago and thought that I still believe to be rational today.
Black Lives Matter
User avatar
rittchard
Posts: 1664
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:16 pm

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by rittchard »

Skinypupy wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:42 am At 44, there's lots I can relate to here.

- I was 160 lbs when we got married 22 years ago. I'm 230 right now. I've added practically a whole 'nother person to me, and I hate it. I sort of expected it since everyone in my family ends up that way (rail thin until we turn 35, then we explode), but that doesn't make it any better.
- I'm always tired, no matter how much sleep I get. Some days are better than others, but there's never not a time where I feel like I couldn't just crawl into bed and sleep for days.
- I was fully unprepared for the level of energy required for almost-6-year-old twin boys. I can't keep up with them at all, and it's frustrating for all of us.
- The lack of motivation and energy about pretty much anything. I've always been a low-key sort of person, never getting too high or too low. But I feel like the last 5 years have taken that to an extreme. I have a hell of a time working up any energy or enthusiasm, even for things I used to be very passionate about. Utah football? Meh. New bands? Meh. A big, engaging RPG? Meh. A new fantasy book series? Meh. Feels like I'm just going through the motions now, and whatever creative or energetic spark I had feels like it's been crushed out of me.
- I find that I have a hell of a time focusing on anything for any length of time. Work projects, games, shows, books...anything I start, my mind just ends up wandering off to something else in short order.
- I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I'm a very good salesman and have done remarkably well at this job over the past 10 years, but I'm finding that I enjoy it less and less. Problem is, there's nothing I look at and say "I want to make a career change and go do THAT!". I keep hoping that something will hit me out of the blue one day, but it certainly hasn't happened yet. (I'll admit that this feeling is getting exacerbated significantly by having the first real "down" year of my career.)

TL:DR: Fat, low-energy, mid-career malaise that I can't seem to break out of. I suppose some of that is normal, but I see some of the cool things others here are doing (getting advanced degrees, starting new careers, etc.) and I can't help but wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life. How's that for a cheery outlook? :(

(Yes, I know that most of this is self-pitying bullshit and the answer is to just get off my ass and do something different, but hey...you asked.)
It's really interesting because so much of what you said echoes how I feel right now about my life, particularly the statement about feeling like everything has been crushed out of you and being unable to focus on particular projects. I really wish I could offer some sort of meaningful advice, but right now I'm still in the middle of it. Every time I think I'm turning the corner, things seem to return me back to that state of hoping something will miraculously spark me into action. I know I am incredibly lucky in many ways, but I also feel incredibly trapped in others. Anyway, hopefully it helps a little to know you aren't alone and that you've got people rooting for you to break out of the malaise.
User avatar
Brian
Posts: 12553
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 8:51 am
Location: South of Heaven
Contact:

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Brian »

Skinypupy wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:42 am At 44, there's lots I can can relate to here.

- I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
...there's nothing I look at and say "I want to make a career change and go do THAT!".
52 here and I also don't know what I want to be or do with myself.

When I was younger I would have said my dream job was to be a stunt car driver. Up to about five years ago I would have said owning/running a hot rod shop would be my dream.

Now? Pffffft. I got nothing. I'm not really passionate about much of anything other than vacationing in exotic places with my wife and ain't nobody gonna pay me to do that.

So, really my new dream job would be Retired Lottery Winner.

For now I've taken a step (or two) backwards on my career just to have money coming in. It's not a bad job, in fact it's quite good in most respects, but its certainly not where I would have envisioned myself at this stage of my life.
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." - Abraham Lincoln
User avatar
gilraen
Posts: 4313
Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2013 7:45 pm
Location: Broomfield, CO

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by gilraen »

Brian wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 2:23 pm So, really my new dream job would be Retired Lottery Winner.
Funny, that's my dream job too.
User avatar
em2nought
Posts: 5309
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 5:48 am

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by em2nought »

Brian wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 2:23 pm I'm not really passionate about much of anything other than vacationing in exotic places with my wife and ain't nobody gonna pay me to do that.

So, really my new dream job would be Retired Lottery Winner.
Something like Soup does could be done while vacationing and probably pay for it as well. I imagine it would take quite some effort to do it even close to as well as he does it though http://www.octopusoverlords.com/forum/v ... =5&t=95342

I'm just hoping to win the liquor lottery, the odds are better.
Technically, he shouldn't be here.
User avatar
gameoverman
Posts: 5908
Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:21 pm
Location: Glendora, CA

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by gameoverman »

I've changed a lot. When I was a teen and first became politically aware, I was very conservative. I bought into the whole 'my country, right or wrong' mentality. I really did think other countries, such as France, should just follow the US lead in everything because what's good for us is good for the rest of the free world. LOL I really thought like that. Seriously. If I was a teen today I'd be wearing a MAGA hat, that's how bad it was.

I'm pretty much the opposite of that now, and that happened slowly over the years. As I gained more life experience, I realized a few things. For one, I did not share the moral/religious views of the conservative side of things. So a lot of stuff I formerly believed got flushed down the toilet when I realized the foundation for those beliefs was not relevant to me. Another thing is seeing how much corruption/favoritism/racism/etc is really out there. I actually thought there was a level playing field and if you played by the rules then things would work out for you. LOL. My thought process is different now. In my younger days I was content to just go with the flow, if people were against gay rights then I was too. As I got older I started to ask myself "Why do you think this?" and when I couldn't answer that then I would change my views. That's why I'm not homophobic now. The basic question "What have you got against gay people?" for me results in an answer of "Nothing". In my twenties, that question simply did not occur to me.
User avatar
Pyperkub
Posts: 23583
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 5:07 pm
Location: NC- that's Northern California

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Pyperkub »

Ok, the Overlords require more Collagen 17!
at a certain point too many stem cells become damaged and they begin to outnumber the healthy ones. When this happens, the skin can no longer effectively rejuvenate itself or respond to injury. “Stem cell competition between epidermal stem cells sustains skin youthfulness, but the decline of the competition ends up with skin aging,” Nishimura explains.

The linchpin in this process is collagen 17, a specific type of collagen protein that is critical for rooting the stem cell to the basement membrane. As stem cells become damaged, they lose precious amounts of collagen 17. The more protein they lose, the weaker their bond to the basement membrane, until eventually they are forced out by neighboring healthy cells.

The good news is that there may be a way to increase or preserve levels of collagen 17 in stem cells, staving off this process of skin aging.
h/t Bill Harris Dubious Quality!
Black Lives definitely Matter Lorini!

Also: There are three ways to not tell the truth: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
User avatar
Suitably Ironic Moniker
Posts: 3601
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 9:09 pm
Location: Asheville, NC

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Suitably Ironic Moniker »

I’ve changed my underwear. Once.


I went into a deep funk after high school, and that, coupled with my depression and anxiety conditions, has caused me to not so much change, as retreat. I used to be able to enjoy social events out and about, at least as long as I was with friends. Now that I’m in my mid-40s, I find it much more difficult to go out in the world, which hurts me both personally and professionally. I’m working on it, but I just don’t know how it’s going to go. Otherwise, I find myself to be even more liberal than I used to be.
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was. - Mitch Hedberg
Matrix
Posts: 4187
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:01 am

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Matrix »

I am a lot less enthusiastic about startups and launching new projects, i wouldn't say i am skeptical but i am certainly don't have the energy i did in my 20s (i am mid 30s now). I ran few companies, failed a few, did ok with a few, but havent gotten a grand slam so journey continues. I just did 5 month world travel, and that gave me a lot of perspective on a world. I am more or less out of digital marketing by my own choice, still part of a start up where i am cofounder (emerging tech field), which is working but not hitting any sort of major milestones yet. Planing to get into full time position in the new space, but first got to see how we do with start up. I think unless this one is going to pop, it will be my last start up attempt for a long while.
Family in the plans soon too, start up life is not too good for that.
User avatar
MindToyGames
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 7:08 pm
Location: Newnan, GA.

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by MindToyGames »

Brian wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 2:23 pm 52 here and I also don't know what I want to be or do with myself.
When I was younger I would have said my dream job was to be a stunt car driver. Up to about five years ago I would have said owning/running a hot rod shop would be my dream.
Now? Pffffft. I got nothing. I'm not really passionate about much of anything other than vacationing in exotic places with my wife and ain't nobody gonna pay me to do that.
48 here and oh man, I totally relate to this feeling. Little really excites me anymore, and the whole indie game thing...yeah, the flood on Steam has effectively made it impossible to actually sell in meaningful numbers without getting lucky and/or a lot of promotion. New projects seem to peter out, and i'm having to reevaluate everything.

To make things worse, my spotty "real world" resume makes it tough to get a "regular" job in my area, and many game companies seem to shy away from hiring "indie" guys for whatever reason without a game 'degree' which makes me laugh. Buddy -- my 20+ years coding, designing, and publishing games basically by myself IS my degree.

Have I changed since I was younger? A whole lot. My temper is much less wild, my views are more liberal overall towards many things. You say you're a woman trapped in a man's body? It could be possible, sure. When I was younger I would have just said, you're a boy and that's it! Get over it! And I have finally learned the give and take dance of a long-term relationship. 12 years ago, my dream was to sell 10 million copies and have a huge hit game. Now, -- dreams? Pfft. I wish I had some.
Derek - Wayward Indie Game Designer/Doer of Many Things/CEO, SimProse Studios
My Steam Developer Clubhouse: https://store.steampowered.com/developer/simprose
User avatar
Malificent
Posts: 1472
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 10:43 am
Location: Durham, NC
Contact:

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Malificent »

Skinypupy wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:42 am At 44, there's lots I can relate to here.

- I was 160 lbs when we got married 22 years ago. I'm 230 right now. I've added practically a whole 'nother person to me, and I hate it. I sort of expected it since everyone in my family ends up that way (rail thin until we turn 35, then we explode), but that doesn't make it any better.
- I'm always tired, no matter how much sleep I get. Some days are better than others, but there's never not a time where I feel like I couldn't just crawl into bed and sleep for days.
- I was fully unprepared for the level of energy required for almost-6-year-old twin boys. I can't keep up with them at all, and it's frustrating for all of us.
- The lack of motivation and energy about pretty much anything. I've always been a low-key sort of person, never getting too high or too low. But I feel like the last 5 years have taken that to an extreme. I have a hell of a time working up any energy or enthusiasm, even for things I used to be very passionate about. Utah football? Meh. New bands? Meh. A big, engaging RPG? Meh. A new fantasy book series? Meh. Feels like I'm just going through the motions now, and whatever creative or energetic spark I had feels like it's been crushed out of me.
- I find that I have a hell of a time focusing on anything for any length of time. Work projects, games, shows, books...anything I start, my mind just ends up wandering off to something else in short order.
- I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I'm a very good salesman and have done remarkably well at this job over the past 10 years, but I'm finding that I enjoy it less and less. Problem is, there's nothing I look at and say "I want to make a career change and go do THAT!". I keep hoping that something will hit me out of the blue one day, but it certainly hasn't happened yet. (I'll admit that this feeling is getting exacerbated significantly by having the first real "down" year of my career.)

TL:DR: Fat, low-energy, mid-career malaise that I can't seem to break out of. I suppose some of that is normal, but I see some of the cool things others here are doing (getting advanced degrees, starting new careers, etc.) and I can't help but wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life. How's that for a cheery outlook? :(

(Yes, I know that most of this is self-pitying bullshit and the answer is to just get off my ass and do something different, but hey...you asked.)
I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but a lot of things you mention are markers for depression (always tired, weight gain, lack of focus, no energy for even stuff you love). The MS drugs I take have depression as a side effect and I'm just now realizing I've probably been suffering for the last couple years. It sneaks up on you and is subtle.

Might not hurt to check with your doctor or go see a therapist.
User avatar
Exodor
Posts: 17196
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 11:10 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Exodor »

Skinypupy wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:42 am - I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I'm a very good salesman and have done remarkably well at this job over the past 10 years, but I'm finding that I enjoy it less and less. Problem is, there's nothing I look at and say "I want to make a career change and go do THAT!". I keep hoping that something will hit me out of the blue one day, but it certainly hasn't happened yet. (I'll admit that this feeling is getting exacerbated significantly by having the first real "down" year of my career.)
With you here. I'm reasonably good at the work I do (I'm a L3 tech at an MSP) but I don't really like it. What I'd like is to take a job with a company I like doing work that makes a difference. I'm starting to cast around to see if I can get a job helping with the 2020 election. I'd really hate to find myself dealing with another four years of President Trump and kicking myself for not helping prevent that from happening.
User avatar
JSHAW
Posts: 4514
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2004 2:03 pm

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by JSHAW »

I no longer drink alcohol or beer, or have any desire to do so. I drank when I was in the military, I think it was part of that culture. No longer being
IN that culture, and having a wife and her family that are very anti-alcohol it was a no brainer that if I wanted to stay in their good graces I would
leave that behind. It has not been difficult, like choosing between water or ice-tea at a restaurant. I just no longer choose to drink alcohol or beer.

I no longer go to strip-clubs, gentlemen's clubs, or any type of clubs for that matter. I did so when I was divorced, single. It was a horrible waste of time and money. After I married for the 2nd time I left all that stuff behind. At an earlier part of being single to me it was almost like a rite of passage, how many single guys can say they've never been inside a strip club. It was fun, then it turned depressing and not fun. When things are not fun that's when I bow out and quit them.

I care more about my wife and child, and I care more about family than I did when I was younger. Growing up I never gave much thought to what it means to be IN a family, an extended family with many generations of older family members around. Now that I'm older (54) I know what those things mean and the things that they can mean and bring towards my life now.

I'm not a perfect person, but I do try to live my life by a code of conduct, morals, do try and always do the right thing and not just when it suits me to do it but ALWAYS do the correct thing. Don't break the law, be a decent person to those who I don't know that are strangers but might need help that I can render to them. Try to remain positive in a world that can sometimes be overrun by cynical thoughts and people.

When I was younger I had an attitude that was like fuck everyone else and only think of myself first, but as I've grown older I have tried to be less selfish and relax that fuck everyone else attitude and just be someone that my wife and daughter would be proud of.

When I was younger I didn't think alot about stability in life, being able to know where I was going to be at a certain day or time, but as I've grown older stability has become very important to me. I want to know that all the bills are paid, nothing is left to chance or fate and that priorities are taken care of on time every time. Stability puts my mind at ease, it allows me to not be worried that something bad is waiting around the next corner because I failed to take care of it.

When I was younger I took risks, lots of risks. I don't do that now that I'm older. I like sure things, I like knowing that my no risk lifestyle isn't going to blow up in my face and cause harm to me or my loved ones. When you're young taking risks can be exciting. I don't NEED exciting anymore. Those days are over for me.
User avatar
Default
Posts: 6416
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2004 9:01 pm
Location: Handling bombs.

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Default »

Confidence.

I never had it until the marriage blew up. I feel competent and know that I have value as a person. I trust my own judgment now.
"pcp, lsd, thc, tgb...it's all good." ~ Kraken
User avatar
Skinypupy
Posts: 20335
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 10:12 am
Location: Utah

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Skinypupy »

Malificent wrote: Wed Apr 24, 2019 10:14 am
Skinypupy wrote: Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:42 am At 44, there's lots I can relate to here.

- I was 160 lbs when we got married 22 years ago. I'm 230 right now. I've added practically a whole 'nother person to me, and I hate it. I sort of expected it since everyone in my family ends up that way (rail thin until we turn 35, then we explode), but that doesn't make it any better.
- I'm always tired, no matter how much sleep I get. Some days are better than others, but there's never not a time where I feel like I couldn't just crawl into bed and sleep for days.
- I was fully unprepared for the level of energy required for almost-6-year-old twin boys. I can't keep up with them at all, and it's frustrating for all of us.
- The lack of motivation and energy about pretty much anything. I've always been a low-key sort of person, never getting too high or too low. But I feel like the last 5 years have taken that to an extreme. I have a hell of a time working up any energy or enthusiasm, even for things I used to be very passionate about. Utah football? Meh. New bands? Meh. A big, engaging RPG? Meh. A new fantasy book series? Meh. Feels like I'm just going through the motions now, and whatever creative or energetic spark I had feels like it's been crushed out of me.
- I find that I have a hell of a time focusing on anything for any length of time. Work projects, games, shows, books...anything I start, my mind just ends up wandering off to something else in short order.
- I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I'm a very good salesman and have done remarkably well at this job over the past 10 years, but I'm finding that I enjoy it less and less. Problem is, there's nothing I look at and say "I want to make a career change and go do THAT!". I keep hoping that something will hit me out of the blue one day, but it certainly hasn't happened yet. (I'll admit that this feeling is getting exacerbated significantly by having the first real "down" year of my career.)

TL:DR: Fat, low-energy, mid-career malaise that I can't seem to break out of. I suppose some of that is normal, but I see some of the cool things others here are doing (getting advanced degrees, starting new careers, etc.) and I can't help but wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life. How's that for a cheery outlook? :(

(Yes, I know that most of this is self-pitying bullshit and the answer is to just get off my ass and do something different, but hey...you asked.)
I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but a lot of things you mention are markers for depression (always tired, weight gain, lack of focus, no energy for even stuff you love). The MS drugs I take have depression as a side effect and I'm just now realizing I've probably been suffering for the last couple years. It sneaks up on you and is subtle.

Might not hurt to check with your doctor or go see a therapist.
Yeah, the thought has occurred to me.
When darkness veils the world, four Warriors of Light shall come.
User avatar
Isgrimnur
Posts: 82094
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2006 12:29 am
Location: Chookity pok
Contact:

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Isgrimnur »

Stop thinking and start calling.
It's almost as if people are the problem.
Jeff V
Posts: 36414
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:17 pm
Location: Nowhere you want to be.

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Jeff V »

It's also a symptom of having young children. I'm experiencing those things too because I cannot do what I need to do to not experience those things (exercise, get an uninterrupted good night's sleep, eat healthier). It seems like I'm constantly trying to cram a 36 hour day into just 24. It's possible the day will come when the kids are less demanding of constant attention, can actually be left home alone, etc. Surviving to that day seems to be the prime mission in life these days. The one thing I don't feel is emotionally depressed, not in the least. Stressed is probably the case though, and I can see how that would have a similar effect. Hormone levels? Maybe. If I wasn't so stressed over the cost of medical, I might get myself checked for low-T. But that would be after correcting two other medical issues that certainly affect quality of life (and can have a negative outcomes similar to Skinypuppy) - those would be chronic trigger-finger (steroid shot last October was effective for little more than a month, so I'll need surgery) and major dental work that'll cost as much as a car (and that's after my dentist's friends and family discount).
Black Lives Matter
Madmarcus
Posts: 3609
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 11:18 am
Location: Just outside your peripheral vision

Re: Have you changed since you got older?

Post by Madmarcus »

In 30 years I've gained 30 pounds (50 if you look at my highest weight), lost the innate athleticism of my late teens/early twenties, and started to suffer for some of the punishment I put on my body (one shoulder backpack use in college and grad school plus a messenger bag until recently has combined to kill my left shoulder). The shift from desktop computers to tablets and phones has made my poor (even corrected) vision more of an issue both socially (I'm embarrassed about how close I have to hold my phone) and physically (using my phone also tends to cause problems in the same muscles in my left shoulder)

Mentally I'm much less sure of myself As a high school and college student I was very logical and, to my mind, objective. While I haven't become irrational or anti-science I have become much less accepting of absolute answers when it come to anything involving humans. Even in things that don't involve human behavior and choices I've become less tolerant of simplified answers to messy problems.

22 year old me would be happy to see that I'm still with the same partner (we weren't married then but already thinking about it), would be pleased with how reasonable my kids have turned out, glad to see that I still love nerdy sf/fantasy things, and a little disappointed that I don't read as much fiction or play tabletop roleplaying anymore (I'm too much of an introvert to go on a hunt for new gaming groups after moving away from my college group).
Post Reply