Boarder Incoming

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Thu May 30, 2019 6:03 pm

As the Jeff Turns. Friday nights on Lifetime Network...or the Spice Channel.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Fri May 31, 2019 12:02 am

Jeff V wrote:And sorry about the butterscotch. It's always a huge disappointment for me when I find it masquerading as delicious caramel.

This makes reading all that confusing crap worthwhile.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Fri May 31, 2019 9:25 am

What's so confusing? Jeff has a wife who doesn't want him to see another woman parading around their home wearing skimpy clothing and she won't do the sensible thing and simply make him wear man-blinders, or even just shoot pepper spray into his eyes on a regular basis while the potential home wrecker's staying with them. Let's be honest, this is JeffV we're talking about. He's sex on a stick.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Fri May 31, 2019 9:56 am

Jeff V wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2019 5:34 pm She admits she has no reason to believe anything improper will occur. Anyway, after I started typing this, I was just informed it's off again! Her lawyer advised her to stay put. It appears her not-yet-ex has not yet filed for divorce, but my wife seems to be getting tired of hearing her complain of emotional abuse and doing nothing about it and now says she's done with her. Mostly she is pissed because we spent money (albeit a very small amount) preparing for her to move in.

If it helps, I'm sure that hepcat is willing to come over and walk around your house in a bra and short shorts.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Fri May 31, 2019 10:01 am

em2nought wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2019 5:58 pm My Thai buddy brought his wife and her adult daughter over. I wonder if, by law, according to an affidavit of support he'd have to give the daughter money each month if she chooses to sit on her keister doing nothing and also not becoming a citizen for the next ten years?

If he walked away from them? Yes. If she is living with him, she is already being supported. You must have a certain amount of income per sponsored immigrant. If living with him is not an option and she does not work (or work enough) he is on the hook for 125% of the federal poverty level less whatever she might be earning.

This was one reason I made sure my wife was trained up so she could work when she got here. It still took awhile for her to get professional certifications here but she was able to work jobs paying more than that amount from the get-go. She is now her mother's sponsor, not I, and will be for her sister too.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Fri May 31, 2019 10:30 am

El Guapo wrote: ↑Fri May 31, 2019 9:56 am If it helps, I'm sure that hepcat is willing to come over and walk around your house in a bra and short shorts.

Seeing that I was not anticipating the possible boarder doing this, it will not be necessary. I do, however, have a bat signal that projects the brand image of one of his favorite hair products just in case an emergency arises and I need this.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Fri May 31, 2019 10:31 am

El Guapo wrote: ↑Fri May 31, 2019 9:56 am
Jeff V wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2019 5:34 pm She admits she has no reason to believe anything improper will occur. Anyway, after I started typing this, I was just informed it's off again! Her lawyer advised her to stay put. It appears her not-yet-ex has not yet filed for divorce, but my wife seems to be getting tired of hearing her complain of emotional abuse and doing nothing about it and now says she's done with her. Mostly she is pissed because we spent money (albeit a very small amount) preparing for her to move in.
If it helps, I'm sure that hepcat is willing to come over and walk around your house in a bra and short shorts.

Why in God's name would I want to put more clothes on?

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Fri May 31, 2019 10:36 am

So when I got home from work, wife seems to have gotten over her rage over being jacked around. Apparently, the not-yet-ex emailed the girl papers to sign in an attempt to relinquish claims of assets she will otherwise be entitled to. We were both in agreement that she sign nothing without bringing it to her lawyer, and that she needs to have a sit-down conversation with the lawyer in the first place (she never met the lawyer in person yet). The lawyerly advice that she not leave the house was first offered by my brother, who went through this a few years ago. However, the girl feels mentally and emotionally abused staying in the house, and we do not believe this has been discussed with the lawyer (and whether it might change the advice).

Drazzil · Post by **Drazzil** » Fri May 31, 2019 11:05 pm

El Guapo wrote: ↑Fri May 31, 2019 9:56 am
Jeff V wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2019 5:34 pm She admits she has no reason to believe anything improper will occur. Anyway, after I started typing this, I was just informed it's off again! Her lawyer advised her to stay put. It appears her not-yet-ex has not yet filed for divorce, but my wife seems to be getting tired of hearing her complain of emotional abuse and doing nothing about it and now says she's done with her. Mostly she is pissed because we spent money (albeit a very small amount) preparing for her to move in.
If it helps, I'm sure that hepcat is willing to come over and walk around your house in a bra and short shorts.

/Krieger "Me too!" /Krieger

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:06 pm

Jeff V wrote: ↑Fri May 31, 2019 10:01 am This was one reason I made sure my wife was trained up so she could work when she got here.

That was smart. My Thai friend brought his wife and her daughter over after just a tiny bit of introductory English.
The local college with teach English as a second language here for however long it takes, and for free which is a great thing because I'm a lousy host.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:56 pm

Latest update - she nearly walked away with nothing -- but her not-yet-ex wasn't satisfied with that stroke of luck and in the divorce papers he sent, he also tried to make her liable for half the mortgage for the house she wouldn't be living in. She finally realized she needed a lawyer - and then found herself a new boytoy willing to pay for one. At this point I think we just sit back and listen to the stories roll in.

Daehawk · Post by **Daehawk** » Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:39 pm

Man I know it isn't true but just reading all Jeff V's posts gives the impression that all Filipinos are users who are after money and a way out of their crap life. Its bleak postings man

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Sat Sep 07, 2019 7:54 pm

I've known a few too many Filipinos to agree with that. And I'm sure Jeff's wife would disagree, too.

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Sat Sep 07, 2019 9:25 pm

Daehawk wrote: ↑Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:39 pm Man I know it isn't true but just reading all Jeff V's posts gives the impression that all Filipinos are users who are after money and a way out of their crap life. Its bleak postings man

Must not be reading the same thread as I am because I don't get that impression. Read this one for the total opposite of that idea https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ry/524490/

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sat Sep 28, 2019 3:51 pm

And now, it seems, it's back on. This is after an interesting few months after which my wife is pretty certain she's not going to try poaching me.

The not-yet-ex had his Vietnamese toy move in to make it uncomfortable for her. It made her uncomfortable, but didn't chase her out. She nearly agreed to walk away with "nothing for me" divorce until upon further review, the asshole wasn't content with her disappearing, he tried stipulating she was on the hook for half the mortgage of the house she was no longer living in. WTF dude.

So she found her own boytoy, this one a cheesehead north of the border. He offered to fund an attorney for her and we assumed things were finally headed in the right direction. That's until he wanted what could be reasonably expected in an adult relationship, especially when he was putting out financially for her. But no, the dimwit thinks it was a high school crush that could be brushed aside and was even irritated that he asked her to help care for the 1.5 year old kid he has no idea how to care for that he inherited as part of his own divorce.

So now it seems she's moving in October 11. Wife and I talked about it last night, she needs to agree to either of two things: (1) she pays monthly rent and has not particular household responsibility or (2) we'll wave the rent, but she has to function as an integral part of the family, including house work, walking my son to school, making the kids lunch, etc. She wore out her welcome with another friend because there was assumptions made that she would function as (2), but instead she paid nothing assumed the benefits of (1).

I'm not sure which I prefer. Wife is currently not speaking to her family, so the prospect of her mother or sister-in-law coming to provide a respite seems low. If this is going to be a long term arrangement, my wife can actually consider moving to day shift, although until this girl learns to drive, she can't bring the kids to their dance class or taekwondo, meaning I can't keep a regular schedule at work. Of course, this is several weeks away, all sorts of things can change by then.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Sat Sep 28, 2019 4:03 pm

Jeff V wrote: ↑Sat Sep 28, 2019 3:51 pm I'm not sure which I prefer. Wife is currently not speaking to her family, so the prospect of her mother or sister-in-law coming to provide a respite seems low. If this is going to be a long term arrangement, my wife can actually consider moving to day shift, although until this girl learns to drive, she can't bring the kids to their dance class or taekwondo, meaning I can't keep a regular schedule at work. Of course, this is several weeks away, all sorts of things can change by then.

How about she pays you a monthly rent with the option of picking up discounts/payments in exchange for chores. Since you can't rely on her doing them, making them optional seems less likely to generate friction.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Sat Sep 28, 2019 4:21 pm

Once a friend or relative gets their grimy little claws dug in to your house good luck on getting them out. It'll probably take a court order. And that's if you wife agrees with you.
As she's already living there you must move to Wisconsin.

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:32 pm

Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Sep 28, 2019 4:03 pm
Jeff V wrote: ↑Sat Sep 28, 2019 3:51 pm I'm not sure which I prefer. Wife is currently not speaking to her family, so the prospect of her mother or sister-in-law coming to provide a respite seems low. If this is going to be a long term arrangement, my wife can actually consider moving to day shift, although until this girl learns to drive, she can't bring the kids to their dance class or taekwondo, meaning I can't keep a regular schedule at work. Of course, this is several weeks away, all sorts of things can change by then.
How about she pays you a monthly rent with the option of picking up discounts/payments in exchange for chores. Since you can't rely on her doing them, making them optional seems less likely to generate friction.

Maybe include a weekly bonus if she gets all tasks you want to pay her for done each week too.

I haven't even figured out what to do with my new "ward". I transport her back and forth to ESOL classes four days a week, but haven't managed to get much work out of her yet. Bought an e-bike for her to ride to school if I have something else I have to deal with, but she's not interested in that. Set up a credit union account for her to help establish her residency. She doesn't understand much English, but she sure figured out how to get into the checking & savings account with the app on her own and connect it to I-tunes. Now I have to fund the savings to $100 again or she's going to have a monthly fee. Life would be so much easier if so many people didn't seem to try to sabotage it at every turn.

mori · Post by **mori** » Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:43 pm

Jeff V wrote: ↑Sat Sep 28, 2019 3:51 pm

So she found her own boytoy, this one a cheesehead north of the border. He offered to fund an attorney for her and we assumed things were finally headed in the right direction. That's until he wanted what could be reasonably expected in an adult relationship, especially when he was putting out financially for her. But no, the dimwit thinks it was a high school crush that could be brushed aside and was even irritated that he asked her to help care for the 1.5 year old kid he has no idea how to care for that he inherited as part of his own divorce.

She should consider herself lucky because he would of left her for the next hussy that walked into the tavern anyways as is customary in cheeseland. Saved her the trouble.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sun Sep 29, 2019 9:19 am

Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Sep 28, 2019 4:03 pm How about she pays you a monthly rent with the option of picking up discounts/payments in exchange for chores. Since you can't rely on her doing them, making them optional seems less likely to generate friction.

I thought about that, have to make sure the credits are such that I get nothing from her and wind up with less than option 2.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Sun Sep 29, 2019 10:52 am

And that was how JeffV hired a full-time live-in nanny/housekeeper.

The stage is set for a great sitcom.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Sun Sep 29, 2019 11:35 am

Jeff V wrote: ↑Sun Sep 29, 2019 9:19 am
Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Sep 28, 2019 4:03 pm How about she pays you a monthly rent with the option of picking up discounts/payments in exchange for chores. Since you can't rely on her doing them, making them optional seems less likely to generate friction.
I thought about that, have to make sure the credits are such that I get nothing from her and wind up with less than option 2.

Set her base rent high enough that she *needs* the work credits to afford living there. If she can realistically afford $500/mo, for example, set her do-nothing rent at $750 and give her the opportunity to earn $250 worth of babysitting/errand/chore discounts. She's really paying a penalty for saying No, but it will look to her like she's getting bonuses for Yes.

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Sun Sep 29, 2019 12:45 pm

Couldn't even get one lousy little wheelbarrow worth of dirt shoveled off the road yesterday.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sun Sep 29, 2019 1:23 pm

Kraken wrote: ↑Sun Sep 29, 2019 11:35 am
Jeff V wrote: ↑Sun Sep 29, 2019 9:19 am
Kraken wrote: ↑Sat Sep 28, 2019 4:03 pm How about she pays you a monthly rent with the option of picking up discounts/payments in exchange for chores. Since you can't rely on her doing them, making them optional seems less likely to generate friction.
I thought about that, have to make sure the credits are such that I get nothing from her and wind up with less than option 2.
Set her base rent high enough that she *needs* the work credits to afford living there. If she can realistically afford $500/mo, for example, set her do-nothing rent at $750 and give her the opportunity to earn $250 worth of babysitting/errand/chore discounts. She's really paying a penalty for saying No, but it will look to her like she's getting bonuses for Yes.

That might be possible, but while my wife thinks it could be long term (long enough to consider a shift change) I think there has to be some end goal in mind, and that is for her to go to school and learn something so she can get a decent job and survive on her own. Every time she encounters someone in distress like this, my wife is appreciative I saw to education before she came here. She has too many friends with limited options because they've not been previously educated in something useful.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Sun Sep 29, 2019 10:43 pm

Then she gets free months for meeting educational milestones.

If indentured servitude is your thing, I'm just the guy to set it up.

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Mon Sep 30, 2019 8:44 am

em2nought wrote: ↑Sun Sep 29, 2019 12:45 pm Couldn't even get one lousy little wheelbarrow worth of dirt shoveled off the road yesterday.

Oh, I've learned how to set a blackout period on the wireless router to encourage going to sleep at night in order to get up for ESOL class. Bahahaha!

Unfortunately, there seem to be several people in the area who don't even require a password for their wireless.

Kraken wrote: ↑Sun Sep 29, 2019 10:43 pm If indentured servitude is your thing, I'm just the guy to set it up.

I'll remember that for down the road.

Jaymon · Post by **Jaymon** » Mon Sep 30, 2019 1:48 pm

I've never figured out what servitude has to do with dentures.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Mon Sep 30, 2019 2:38 pm

Jaymon wrote: ↑Mon Sep 30, 2019 1:48 pm I've never figured out what servitude has to do with dentures.

If I don't get my dentures replaced soon, I will need a servant to chew food for me.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Fri Oct 18, 2019 10:05 pm

So I just got a text from her, my wife is sleeping so unresponsive. She wants to come tomorrow. Tomorrow we're going out of town for 2 days. She can come with us as far as I'm concerned, but she has to arrange things with the wife.

Hrothgar · Post by **Hrothgar** » Fri Oct 18, 2019 11:10 pm

mori · Post by **mori** » Sat Oct 19, 2019 7:58 pm

Do you not trust her alone in your house while you are away?

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sun Oct 20, 2019 5:05 pm

mori wrote: ↑Sat Oct 19, 2019 7:58 pm Do you not trust her alone in your house while you are away?

That's not really the issue. I really think she's afraid to be alone right now, and that's fine. It gives my wife a distraction instead of finding things to complain to be about. Well, not really but not so much.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 6:42 pm

So two weeks in, so far, so good. Wife mentioned she likes having her around more so than her mom (who she is not speaking to). The house is routinely clean to a degree previously seen only when guests are expected over. She actually takes full garbage bags to the bin in the garage, washes the dishes (I no longer come home to 30 minutes of kitchen cleaning before starting dinner) and her presence here allows me to leave them at home and go straight to work in the morning.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 4:28 pm

More than a month into it and still good, although last week (mockingly...I think?) my wife complained that her and I were having "good conversation" while she had to sleep in preparation for work. I really have no idea what she was talking about...there was small talk about the dinner I prepared but otherwise we didn't even eat at the dinner table together.

This weekend she had a 2-day date she arranged with someone she met on the internet. This date did not require she spend the whole weekend with the guy, so she came home at some point last night (I was asleep, don't know exactly when). Dude was from Kentucky (and drove 7 hours to meet her), this morning she asked me, "what is the difference between a rednecks and a hillbilly?"

I told her that in Kentucky the terms are interchangeable, then told her about the time I was in Houston with a consultant from Kentucky. We were at a club (I did not tell her it was a strip club) but when the guy asked me to take him back to the hotel around 11 pm so he could see some sort of NASCAR race from Japan, I called him a fucking redneck for preferring auto racing over pretty girls.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 6:14 pm

A hillbilly is someone who comes from a specific type of culture. A redneck is someone who isn't, but acts like he is (or at least the redneck pop-culture version, which is more about image than most people realize.) There are plenty of rednecks who have money, education, intelligence, and opportunity, but do everything they can to hide it.

I enjoy hanging out with hillbillies. Rednecks I want to shove into their 'rolling coal' exhaust pipes and walk away.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sun Nov 24, 2019 11:20 pm

Rednecks I sort of have to deal with, living on the edge of civilization and surrounded by farms and all. I'm not sure my travels have ever brought me to genuine hillbilly culture -- I gather it's similar but different than the likes of Cajun/Creole down in New Orleans, which I'm very familiar with. I've just not spent much time in either KY or WV, the states I most connect to hillbillies. My wife has a friend who married someone in rural WV though so maybe some day...

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:11 am

My dad was of hillbilly extraction in the Ozarks. One of my aunts lived on a houseboat, if that gives you an idea, and many of my relatives didn't have Social Security numbers. Dad claimed Bonnie Parker and Robert LeRoy Parker (look him up) as kinfolk. Rednecks can be found everywhere, but hillbilly is a culture.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 12:49 am

I used to work with a guy who claimed he was supposed to marry his first cousin and was disinherited when he didn't.
My wife's mother claimed her dad met Bonnie and Clyde at his farm one time.
Most of Arkansas is related to each other. Even blacks and whites together.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Mon Nov 25, 2019 1:00 am

I, for one, welcome dbt1949 as my hillbilly cousin.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sun Dec 22, 2019 11:17 pm

So this past Thursday, the boarder was granted a divorce. I'm sure her ex is still partying over it, she essentially acquiesced to everything -- she gets no assets, no alimony, nothing. Presently, she's spending Xmas with the hillbilly she met online -- some dude who is then going on a trip to the Philippines when she comes back late next week. My wife is quite judgmental, so I wonder how long until she wears out her welcome.

Meanwhile, the other day I was at Target with my daughter, and asked her to pick out something her and her brother can give to mommy for Xmas. My daughter settled on a pair of Olay products, then wanted to get something for "Tita Mae" (the boarder). After looking around, she decided she wanted to get her the same thing as mommy. I didn't complain, it meant I got a $30 gift card out of it. But I knew my wife would have issues, so I forewarned her. That did not go well, as she doubted my daughter came up with the idea. But hen my daughter said something to her that made it plausible to her, so I think it's ok,