Boarder Incoming

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sun May 26, 2019 6:14 pm

I mentioned this a few weeks ago in another thread. This has been on again, off again since her husband announce his intent to divorce her on Mother's Day, but it appears one of my wife's friends will be moving into our guest bedroom late next week. Twice she backed out, intending to stay at home until the divorce is final but apparently her not-yet-ex can't wait for the divorce to finalize before banging someone else at home.

In the 5 years since her husband brought her here, she has not learned any skills that pay enough to live on her own. She also hasn't learned to drive, and did not become a citizen. She is currently doing a WFH customer service job that doesn't pay well enough to live on her own, and her greencard will expire in 5 more years unless he becomes a citizen in that time. Now, according to the Illinois alimony formula, she'll get about $2300 per month from him for 14 months. That'll help her get some education so she can get a higher paying job. I'll likely teach her to drive so she can, well, do something. However, after the alimony expires, she can continue to stick it to him. As long as she is here and not a citizen, she doesn't even have to work and he will have to pay about $17,000 per year if she chooses to do nothing because of an affidavit of support he had to agree to when bringing her here. That is supposed to last until she has 40 quarters of above-poverty level earnings (10 years) but not of she becomes a citizen and she may not be able to extend her green card after it expires in 5 more years.

Meanwhile, I'll see what I can do to turn it into advantage for myself (well, for all of us). Unlike my MiL, she'll be paying us for the room (wife pays her mom $400 per month when she's here), but not really enough for her to expect hotel service. I'm going to tell her while she is here she is part of the family, meaning she is welcome on all outings but she'll be expected to help with housework and to be the responsible person making sure the kids don't burn down the house so my wife and I (or just me) can go out on occasion.

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Sun May 26, 2019 6:28 pm

I would watch this TV show.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Sun May 26, 2019 7:04 pm

High drama. Grumpy JeffV. Hot headed Wife. Kids. Ex-husband. The Reality TV script writes itself. If the girlfriend's name Fran, order a second season!

stimpy · Post by **stimpy** » Sun May 26, 2019 7:21 pm

Is she hot?

Z-Corn · Post by **Z-Corn** » Sun May 26, 2019 8:02 pm

Just needs a screaming infant to round things out. Somebody get somebody pregnant, stat!

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Sun May 26, 2019 8:26 pm

Boarder’s Borders. This fall on ABC.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Sun May 26, 2019 9:04 pm

Will you be putting the pilot episode of Too Goddamn Close for Comfort on YouTube? Or will be getting the Netflix Original branding?

Are you still planning to cast Stimpy as the Mr. Roper like character? i suggest that in season 4 or 5 you add a new kid to the show a la Oliver in the later years of the Brady Bunch.

stimpy · Post by **stimpy** » Sun May 26, 2019 9:10 pm

hepcat wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 9:04 pm Will you be putting the pilot episode of Too Goddamn Close for Comfort on YouTube? Or will be getting the Netflix Original branding?

Are you still planning to cast Stimpy as the Mr. Roper like character? i suggest that in season 4 or 5 you add a new kid to the show a la Oliver in the later years of the Brady Bunch.

I'm more the Ralph Furley type.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Sun May 26, 2019 10:03 pm

I should move in next door.
It's almost like the kid's arrangement next door.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Sun May 26, 2019 10:04 pm

hepcat wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 9:04 pm Will you be putting the pilot episode of Too Goddamn Close for Comfort on YouTube? Or will be getting the Netflix Original branding?

Are you still planning to cast Stimpy as the Mr. Roper like character? i suggest that in season 4 or 5 you add a new kid to the show a la Oliver in the later years of the Brady Bunch.

Focus groups indicate twins will result in 2.3% more market share.

JSHAW · Post by **JSHAW** » Mon May 27, 2019 7:04 am

OK, this might be stupid question of the month but WHY does your wife PAY her mom $400 a month when she stays at your place?

So she can have some spending money? Does that $400 mean the mom does light chores around the house to earn the money?

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Mon May 27, 2019 10:33 am

Z-Corn wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 8:02 pm Just needs a screaming infant to round things out. Somebody get somebody pregnant, stat!

When I first brought this up here, I think I mentioned they had been trying and failing to spawn for a number of years and she wanted IVF. He bought a Tesla instead, the divorce announcement came shortly afterward.

stimpy wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 7:21 pmIs she hot?

Not bad, very short. Fitness doesn't seem to be her thing so she's probably a child away from resembling a beach ball.

dbt1949 wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 10:03 pm I should move in next door.
It's almost like the kid's arrangement next door.

Well, there's a house 2 doors down for sale, as well as one across the street. And new townhouses going up at the end of the block!

Roman · Post by **Roman** » Mon May 27, 2019 12:14 pm

You sir have oodles more patience than I do.
I remember years back when you started this journey with your new wife that 'sharing' and family were important parts of the Filipino community.
I wish you nothing but good luck - I couldn't and wouldn't do what you are planning

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Mon May 27, 2019 2:19 pm

Jeff V wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 6:14 pm Now, according to the Illinois alimony formula, she'll get about $2300 per month from him for 14 months. That'll help her get some education so she can get a higher paying job. I'll likely teach her to drive so she can, well, do something. However, after the alimony expires, she can continue to stick it to him. As long as she is here and not a citizen, she doesn't even have to work and he will have to pay about $17,000 per year if she chooses to do nothing because of an affidavit of support he had to agree to when bringing her here. That is supposed to last until she has 40 quarters of above-poverty level earnings (10 years) but not of she becomes a citizen and she may not be able to extend her green card after it expires in 5 more years.

I kinda wish business partnerships had this feature.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Mon May 27, 2019 2:22 pm

Roman wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 12:14 pm You sir have oodles more patience than I do.

I'm not sure it's patience more than persistent fatigue, and that affects my wife even worse since she works crazy hours. She worked back to back double shifts Saturday and Sunday and will have less than 4 hours of sleep today as she will have to get up shortly to help get the house ready for a party later this afternoon. I have to get the kids up and ready every morning and put them to bed every night -- every moment not spent at work is spent with the kids. This is having adverse affects on my health too. While it might turn out to be sit-com fare in practice, you don't know how good the idea of having someone around to provide even a little respite sounds.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Mon May 27, 2019 2:25 pm

Jeff V wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 2:22 pm I have to get the kids up and ready every morning and put them to bed every night -- every moment not spent at work is spent with the kids. This is having adverse affects on my health too.

That bit, at least, gets better. In fact, it turns around quite a bit once they're able to handle basic self-care and you can start assigning them chores.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Mon May 27, 2019 2:31 pm

Blackhawk wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 2:25 pm
Jeff V wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 2:22 pm I have to get the kids up and ready every morning and put them to bed every night -- every moment not spent at work is spent with the kids. This is having adverse affects on my health too.
That bit, at least, gets better. In fact, it turns around quite a bit once they're able to handle basic self-care and you can start assigning them chores.

My dad retired from all yard work around the time I was 5 and the next oldest was 3. He'd lock us out of the house until it was done.

My mower had warning labels all over it stating "Not to be used by children under the age of 13".

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Mon May 27, 2019 4:55 pm

Jeff V wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 2:31 pm My mower had warning labels all over it stating "Not to be used by children under the age of 13".

How'd you even start it?

em2nought · Post by **em2nought** » Mon May 27, 2019 5:05 pm

GreenGoo wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 4:55 pm
Jeff V wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 2:31 pm My mower had warning labels all over it stating "Not to be used by children under the age of 13".
How'd you even start it?

If his dad was really a sadist it looked like this.

mori · Post by **mori** » Mon May 27, 2019 6:59 pm

I remember those fucking things. It was tough pushing around as a 8-9 yr. I could not imagine anyone younger pushing them around.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Mon May 27, 2019 7:45 pm

I started at 6 myself.
Didn't get a power one until I went in the service and my dad had to mow the lawn.

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Mon May 27, 2019 11:57 pm

I'm confused that a push mower would require a teenager to operate it.

As far as age, I think I was 8-10 when I started, but I'm not sure. My 13 year old son only mows the easy parts, as we have a steep incline that I worry would result in him losing control. The easy parts are the only parts I don't mind mowing, because they are easy.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:07 am

I don't remember when I started. I want to say around ten when I lived with my grandmother, combined with snow shoveling, grass trimmings bagging, and leaf bagging. We spent a lot of time in apartments when I was growing up, though, so there was never much in the way of yard work except for the brief times I was living with her.

I did have chores back before my mother died, though, from probably the time I was four or five.

My kids started doing the easy parts of various jobs about that same age. As they got older, the responsibilities increased. Now they clean most of the house themselves, including toilets, dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing sinks, and so forth. I always make sure that I'm cleaning any time that they are to make it clear that everybody pitches in. With three of us, it takes about 30 minutes once a week to clean the entire house, except for vacuuming. They also take turns picking dinner, and whoever picks dinner also does the dishes for that meal. They also cook most of their own food now. I started with having them do the most basic things (peanut butter, etc), then eased them into microwaving, then boiling, then frying and baking.

When they move out they won't be walking out into the world without basic life skills. And in the meantime, my workload has been cut by 2/3 compared to five years ago.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Tue May 28, 2019 1:03 am

I started with a reel mower, too. We had a small, flat yard and power mowers weren't the default in the 1960s. I don't remember how old I was when mowing became my job -- probably 8 or 10, for I was a skinny little weakling -- but for years before that I was responsible for edging and weeding. Remember edging?

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Tue May 28, 2019 11:02 am

em2nought wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 5:05 pm
GreenGoo wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 4:55 pm
Jeff V wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 2:31 pm My mower had warning labels all over it stating "Not to be used by children under the age of 13".
How'd you even start it?
If his dad was really a sadist it looked like this.

Ours only had 2 wheels. He's throw us out there when the grass was long and wet. It took my brother and both pushing as hard as we could to move it a couple of inches at a time, and we had a 1/4 acre lot (one of the largest in the city).

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Tue May 28, 2019 11:07 am

GreenGoo wrote: ↑Mon May 27, 2019 11:57 pm I'm confused that a push mower would require a teenager to operate it.

As far as age, I think I was 8-10 when I started, but I'm not sure. My 13 year old son only mows the easy parts, as we have a steep incline that I worry would result in him losing control. The easy parts are the only parts I don't mind mowing, because they are easy.

My current mower is battery powered electric. No way will I ever do the rotary push mower again (besides, I have a bigger lot now, 1/3 acre, and even more grass). While the mower is fairly light, it is not self-propelled like a lot of gas mowers. Over-engineered for safety, I don't think my 5 year old could even grip the handle and power bar at the same time as is required for operation - his hands are too small.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Tue May 28, 2019 11:29 am

Jeff V wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 11:07 am My current mower is battery powered electric.

I have spent $25 to salvage my corded electric because I can't justify spending the money on the battery electric that I want just because the wheel mounting hardware broke.

100 feet of heavy gauge extension cord is heavy.

Paingod · Post by **Paingod** » Tue May 28, 2019 11:31 am

Jeff V wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 11:07 amMy current mower is battery powered electric. No way will I ever do the rotary push mower again...

We upgraded to an electric mower over the weekend. Greenworks 60v model. It was awesome to mow the lawn and not suck exhaust fumes for 40 minutes and need hearing protection. Pretty light, too, with the battery being removable and smaller than a standard desktop APC battery unit (not the battery inside, but the whole device). I plan on getting the Greenworks hedge trimmer that works with the same battery.

We do have an old rotary mower, but that's for the kids to use when we send them out to mow. It builds character.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Tue May 28, 2019 11:34 am

When I was a teenager, I spent about $100 of my paper route money on a corded electric mower just to make life easier on me. The mower was extremely light, but the cord was a constant pain to deal with. Better than the push mower to be sure, but I love my Ego battery-powered mower. Now if I could cut the cord on the vacuum and carpet cleaner, life would be a little less difficult.

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Tue May 28, 2019 11:43 am

stimpy wrote: ↑Sun May 26, 2019 7:21 pmIs she hot?
Not bad, very short. Fitness doesn't seem to be her thing so she's probably a child away from resembling a beach ball.

This needs a revision. I ran into her at Walmart yesterday and she was wearing spandex workout pants and I couldn't help but notice her figure was much better than I gave her credit for. I still see beach ball in her future, but maybe after 2 kids.

We talked briefly about her needs for her WFH job, and she stated she didn't think she was going to stay at that job very long - she'll look for something else once she learns to drive. I replaced the RJ-45 on the Cat-5 going to her bedroom, but still no signal getting through. I'll try to do the same on the wall socket in the living room where the other terminus is, but I think now we will just set her up in my wife's office, where I just have to run a cable through the wall.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:38 pm

The sexism is still strong in this one.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:48 pm

hepcat wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:38 pm The sexism is still strong in this one.

But how does he look in spandex shorts? That's the important thing.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:49 pm

I've got a blank spot in my memory of this. And every day I thank God for that.

stimpy · Post by **stimpy** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:50 pm

LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:48 pm
hepcat wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:38 pm The sexism is still strong in this one.
But how does he look in spandex shorts? That's the important thing.

Anyone who knows Jeff has most likely seen him in spandex shorts.
Enough said.......

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Tue May 28, 2019 12:54 pm

...if not, he'll gladly send you glossy 4x10s. You can also join his fan club at www.mereclothcannotcontainme.com.

stimpy · Post by **stimpy** » Tue May 28, 2019 2:08 pm

hepcat wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:54 pm ...if not, he'll gladly send you glossy 4x10s. You can also join his fan club at www.mereclothcannotcontainme.com.

Yes....I clicked it.....
your link is broke.
Thank God.

gbasden · Post by **gbasden** » Tue May 28, 2019 2:16 pm

stimpy wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 2:08 pm
hepcat wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:54 pm ...if not, he'll gladly send you glossy 4x10s. You can also join his fan club at www.mereclothcannotcontainme.com.
Yes....I clicked it.....
your link is broke.
Thank God.

I was smart enough to check to see if it was a valid domain so I didn't have to click on it. Just in case.

TheMix · Post by **TheMix** » Tue May 28, 2019 3:30 pm

stimpy wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:50 pm
LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:48 pm
hepcat wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:38 pm The sexism is still strong in this one.
But how does he look in spandex shorts? That's the important thing.
Anyone who knows Jeff has most likely seen him in spandex shorts.
Enough said.......

What? What did he say? Now you have me curious.

stessier · Post by **stessier** » Tue May 28, 2019 3:41 pm

TheMix wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 3:30 pm
stimpy wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:50 pm
LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:48 pm
hepcat wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:38 pm The sexism is still strong in this one.
But how does he look in spandex shorts? That's the important thing.
Anyone who knows Jeff has most likely seen him in spandex shorts.
Enough said.......
What? What did he say? Now you have me curious.

It almost always is something similar to "MY EYES! MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!"

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Tue May 28, 2019 4:34 pm

TheMix wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 3:30 pm
stimpy wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:50 pm
LawBeefaroni wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:48 pm
hepcat wrote: ↑Tue May 28, 2019 12:38 pm The sexism is still strong in this one.
But how does he look in spandex shorts? That's the important thing.
Anyone who knows Jeff has most likely seen him in spandex shorts.
Enough said.......
What? What did he say? Now you have me curious.

Probably a warning about fungal infections or trapped fecal bacteria.