Boarder Incoming

[TheMix]

The sexism is still strong in this one.

But how does he look in spandex shorts? That's the important thing.

Anyone who knows Jeff has most likely seen him in spandex shorts.
Enough said.......

What? What did he say? Now you have me curious.

Probably a warning about fungal infections or trapped fecal bacteria.

That seems more like something Smoove would say than Enough.

[LawBeefaroni]

Oh shit, your right.


It was a hell of a weekend...

[Jeff V]

The sexism is still strong in this one.

I was just responding to Stimpy's inquiry as best I could.

[hepcat]

I don't wanna lecture (too late), but you do know why your response could be considered sexist, right? Would you feel comfortable saying something like that to a woman? Honestly curious at this point. The psyche of the JeffV has always been fascinating to me.

[Jaymon]

The most important question. How often is there Lumpia?

[Drazzil]

I have never personally dealt with this; however I had a Filipino friend who married a woman from the islands. His wife was constantly sending large amounts of money to her (totally unemployed) family in the Philipines. This was a constant source of tension because not only is he unemployed [laid off of a non profit] but they as a family didn't really have the money to spare.

I just hope you can somehow avoid this.

[Jeff V]

I don't wanna lecture (too late), but you do know why your response could be considered sexist, right? Would you feel comfortable saying something like that to a woman? Honestly curious at this point. The psyche of the JeffV has always been fascinating to me.

Her not-yet ex is a fat-ass. I am equally judgmental, thank you very much. Ask me to comment on a women's looks, and I will reply honestly. I would not have made any comment regarding her appearance at all if Stimpy hadn't asked.

The most important question. How often is there Lumpia?

My wife never buys it, I've only ever had it at Filipino banquets when I found myself wishing it was kielbasa instead. This girl used to work for a Filipino grocery store that made carry-out food and sometimes would bring home an enormous amount of leftovers and I'd have to go pick it up -- mostly it got thrown away because it wasn't very good.

I have never personally dealt with this; however I had a Filipino friend who married a woman from the islands. His wife was constantly sending large amounts of money to her (totally unemployed) family in the Philipines. This was a constant source of tension because not only is he unemployed [laid off of a non profit] but they as a family didn't really have the money to spare.

I just hope you can somehow avoid this.

Is his name Marce by chance? Sounds like this guy I know from your neck of the woods. I met him on one of my trips to the Philippines, he was shacking up with one of my wife's friends, partying until his money ran out then would go home and work at a gas station saving his pennies until he could go back. Shortly after I got married, he did too...and then AFTERWARD found out that oh, his now-wife has 3 urchins she forgot to tell him about. He used to ask me questions about immigration, but did not earn enough for the affidavit of support, and apparently his dad refused to help. And that was just for her, never mind the three kids. Which then became 4 kids after he didn't visit for a while...none of which are his. But last I heard, they are still together!

Anyway, my wife stopped sending her family money on a regular basis a while ago. Now for things like birthdays she asks if she could send $20. When her mom visits, she pays her mom $400 ostensibly for housework and baby sitting, and her mom sends most of that to the Philippines.

[hepcat]

If NBC drops Too Goddamn Close for Comfort, I really hope Netflix or Amazon picks it up for their streaming service. The bonus in that scenario is that they'll reduce the episode number, thereby cutting down on filler episodes like the one where Jeff overhears his neighbor talking about a "big surprise" his wife has in store for him, thinks they're all trying to kill him so she can run off with the guy, but then finds out he was talking about a surprise party his wife is planning for his birthday.

Also, the episode all about Jeff trying to get tickets to a sold out Justin Bieber concert for his kid seemed kind of forced, especially with the stunt casting of the singer himself at the end of the show.

[em2nought]

I don't wanna lecture (too late), but you do know why your response could be considered sexist, right? Would you feel comfortable saying something like that to a woman? Honestly curious at this point. The psyche of the JeffV has always been fascinating to me.

We should probably just go ahead and remove all men's vocal cords at birth, it's the only way to be sure.

[Drazzil]

I don't wanna lecture (too late), but you do know why your response could be considered sexist, right? Would you feel comfortable saying something like that to a woman? Honestly curious at this point. The psyche of the JeffV has always been fascinating to me.

Her not-yet ex is a fat-ass. I am equally judgmental, thank you very much. Ask me to comment on a women's looks, and I will reply honestly. I would not have made any comment regarding her appearance at all if Stimpy hadn't asked.

The most important question. How often is there Lumpia?

My wife never buys it, I've only ever had it at Filipino banquets when I found myself wishing it was kielbasa instead. This girl used to work for a Filipino grocery store that made carry-out food and sometimes would bring home an enormous amount of leftovers and I'd have to go pick it up -- mostly it got thrown away because it wasn't very good.

I have never personally dealt with this; however I had a Filipino friend who married a woman from the islands. His wife was constantly sending large amounts of money to her (totally unemployed) family in the Philipines. This was a constant source of tension because not only is he unemployed [laid off of a non profit] but they as a family didn't really have the money to spare.

I just hope you can somehow avoid this.

Is his name Marce by chance? Sounds like this guy I know from your neck of the woods. I met him on one of my trips to the Philippines, he was shacking up with one of my wife's friends, partying until his money ran out then would go home and work at a gas station saving his pennies until he could go back. Shortly after I got married, he did too...and then AFTERWARD found out that oh, his now-wife has 3 urchins she forgot to tell him about. He used to ask me questions about immigration, but did not earn enough for the affidavit of support, and apparently his dad refused to help. And that was just for her, never mind the three kids. Which then became 4 kids after he didn't visit for a while...none of which are his. But last I heard, they are still together!

Anyway, my wife stopped sending her family money on a regular basis a while ago. Now for things like birthdays she asks if she could send $20. When her mom visits, she pays her mom $400 ostensibly for housework and baby sitting, and her mom sends most of that to the Philippines.

No, his name isin't Mance. Heh heh, poor guy.

[hepcat]

I don't wanna lecture (too late), but you do know why your response could be considered sexist, right? Would you feel comfortable saying something like that to a woman? Honestly curious at this point. The psyche of the JeffV has always been fascinating to me.

We should probably just go ahead and remove all men's vocal cords at birth, it's the only way to be sure.

<deleted my reply because it would be pointless to try to make you understand>

[em2nought]

I don't wanna lecture (too late), but you do know why your response could be considered sexist, right? Would you feel comfortable saying something like that to a woman? Honestly curious at this point. The psyche of the JeffV has always been fascinating to me.

We should probably just go ahead and remove all men's vocal cords at birth, it's the only way to be sure.

<deleted my reply because it would be pointless to try to make you understand>

I doubt I could give her children anyway, briefs for way too long don't you know. She doesn't fit into my whole dating foreign orphan(ADULT) ideology either.

[hepcat]

The takeaway from this for Jeff should be that em2 supports his viewpoint. That alone should be enough to make any OOer rethink things.

[Jeff V]

The takeaway from this for Jeff should be that em2 supports his viewpoint. That alone should be enough to make any OOer rethink things.

I am not even sure what viewpoint you are talking about anymore.

[hepcat]

Get back to your show. The next episode of Too Goddamn Close for Comfort is due in less than a week.

[El Guapo]

FWIW I am also confused.

[em2nought]

The takeaway from this for Jeff should be that em2 supports his viewpoint.

No way in hell would em2 move a chick who doesn't look too bad in her spandex into a house with em2's "theoretical" wife, and then spend lots of alone time with said chick teaching her to drive and what not. LOL

[hepcat]

FWIW I am also confused.

I made a throwaway comment about Jeff's somewhat sexist reply about his wife's friend, then em2 decided to pipe up with words of encouragement for Jeff, after which I pointed out that Jeff was getting support from em2 and should consider the ramifications of that. Then someone here at the office brought in an ice cream cake for someone's birthday. But it wasn't mocha flavor per an earlier discussion that morning, but rather some type of butterscotch, which I friggin' hate. So I instead went to the building's lounge and got a snickers bar out of the vending machine, after which I stopped by our HR person's office and asked them if they had watched the last Game of Thrones episode (he hasn't been in the office for a week as he was on vacation). He told me he had, but that he didn't really like it. He agreed with me that it felt rushed.

After that things become a blur, but I think I made plans to go see the new Godzilla movie this weekend with someone in the office. I don't know for sure though, as I was on a sugar high.

[Jeff V]

FWIW I am also confused.

I made a throwaway comment about Jeff's somewhat sexist reply about his wife's friend,

I already mentioned several times I believe that I was simply answering a question. It should tell you something that I've known her for more than a year, and it never occurred to me to assess the question "is she hot or not" and so I just had a vague impression in my mind that was somewhat inaccurate. Stimpy's question actually subsequently made me look when I saw her in Walmart the other day and in the interest of accuracy I corrected my observation. Note I did not actually answer his question "is she hot?" but tried to draw a more objective picture based on observation and experience. He did not ask "do you think she's hot?" which is something entirely different and more personal in nature. Not everyone has the same taste. When it comes to voicing an opinion on a woman (especially Filipina) I've been conditioned to simply keep it to myself. Dispassionate observations are less likely to get me in trouble with the commandant.

Tangentially, I'm not sure there is an ethnicity more focused on appearance and validation as Filipinos, particularly the younger ones. Next time we meet I'll let you check out my FB feed...it's filled with selfies and apparent (to me) trolling for complements...I simply "like" them all and provide generic platitudes when pressed. As a people they are obsessed with beauty pageants and Miss Universe there is treated with the same reverence and excitement as the Superbowl here, whereas the same kinds of events are criticized here as being sexist and outdated.

And sorry about the butterscotch. It's always a huge disappointment for me when I find it masquerading as delicious caramel.

[Jaymon]

thats unfortunate about the Lumpia. I have always considered it to be delicious, its too bad your experience has been subpar.
Many years ago (many many many) I dated a Filipina, her mother owned a Lumpia restaurant, so perhaps I only experienced the best, and never had to suffer through the worst.

[hepcat]

Next time we meet I'll let you check out my FB feed...

...but thanks?

[Jeff V]

Usually when we have (or go to) Filipino parties, they have the Shang Hai rolls which maybe are related? They are filled with meat, are nearly always cold by the time the party starts and not so good. I do like them when they are hot, but at most of these parties, all of the food is cold when it is served. I think the spring rolls (more commonly called lumpia) is just less popular here because they don't hold up well to being cold at all.

[Jeff V]

Next time we meet I'll let you check out my FB feed...

...but thanks?

There is absolutely nothing on it that's shocking or out of the ordinary. Unless you find it shocking that a girl will post 20 variations of the same selfie in a single post. Maybe you have a particular dislike of Filipinas? I actually know a few people who fall into that category, let me know if I need to add you to it.

[Isgrimnur]

Maybe you have a particular dislike of Filipinas? I actually know a few people who fall into that category, let me know if I need to add you to it.

I'm pretty sure he has a lifetime sub to muddypinays . com

[hepcat]

Nothing "out of the ordinary" in the opinion of JeffV?

I'm pretty sure he has a lifetime sub to muddypinatas. com

What a weird site.

[Jeff V]

Maybe you have a particular dislike of Filipinas? I actually know a few people who fall into that category, let me know if I need to add you to it.

I'm pretty sure he has a lifetime sub to muddypinays . com

Ah no. I don't really know almost all of them, and rarely exchange meaningful conversation. Some are relatives, most are friends of relatives (or in some cases, whole extended families with may a common relative somewhere). I don't ask who they are, I don't seek them out. I get friend requests and as long as there are family among common friends, I'll accept. I do not accept requests from people with no mutual friends, or with a mutual friend I don't recognize as being family. That said, there is still a lot of them, but relatively few that are active over a period of time. I rarely interact with them and almost never have any sort of conversation (even our once-close best girl from our wedding has better things to do than talk to me these days).

[Drazzil]

FWIW I am also confused.

I made a throwaway comment about Jeff's somewhat sexist reply about his wife's friend,

I already mentioned several times I believe that I was simply answering a question. It should tell you something that I've known her for more than a year, and it never occurred to me to assess the question "is she hot or not" and so I just had a vague impression in my mind that was somewhat inaccurate. Stimpy's question actually subsequently made me look when I saw her in Walmart the other day and in the interest of accuracy I corrected my observation. Note I did not actually answer his question "is she hot?" but tried to draw a more objective picture based on observation and experience. He did not ask "do you think she's hot?" which is something entirely different and more personal in nature. Not everyone has the same taste. When it comes to voicing an opinion on a woman (especially Filipina) I've been conditioned to simply keep it to myself. Dispassionate observations are less likely to get me in trouble with the commandant.

Tangentially, I'm not sure there is an ethnicity more focused on appearance and validation as Filipinos, particularly the younger ones. Next time we meet I'll let you check out my FB feed...it's filled with selfies and apparent (to me) trolling for complements...I simply "like" them all and provide generic platitudes when pressed. As a people they are obsessed with beauty pageants and Miss Universe there is treated with the same reverence and excitement as the Superbowl here, whereas the same kinds of events are criticized here as being sexist and outdated.

And sorry about the butterscotch. It's always a huge disappointment for me when I find it masquerading as delicious caramel.

So ermm.... I actually have something to add. There are a lot of self hating Filipino's. My former best friend is one of them. He is Filipino and Chinese. He *always* identifies as Chinese. He does not like his people. Interestingly I have met several Filipinos who feel the same. There is a history of racism towards Filipinos in the asian world from others as well as their own countrymen.

[stimpy]

Sorry Jeff…..
I was being facetious.....didn't know it would start a shit storm.

[Drazzil]

Jeff's trying hard, he's in a pretty stressful situation and is sleep deprived as hell. I say this whole thing is a big fat nothingburger.

If Jeff wants to say that some lady was passibly hot but inclined to have a shelflife on being asked directly about it... I really don't think it matters.

[raydude]

So, I try to stay out of the obvious filipino related threads because I don't like the feeling of having to justify my ethnicity but I accidentally stumbled onto one here, so here goes:

Tangentially, I'm not sure there is an ethnicity more focused on appearance and validation as Filipinos, particularly the younger ones. Next time we meet I'll let you check out my FB feed...it's filled with selfies and apparent (to me) trolling for complements...I simply "like" them all and provide generic platitudes when pressed. As a people they are obsessed with beauty pageants and Miss Universe there is treated with the same reverence and excitement as the Superbowl here, whereas the same kinds of events are criticized here as being sexist and outdated.

As a counter-anecdote I'd say my facebook feed consists of my cousins talking about their kids and/or posting events out with their friends. Maybe it's a difference between filipinos in Hawaii vs. everywhere else or american filipinos who have made successful careers and whose families are mostly in the US so they feel they have nothing to prove? I don't know, but just to let you guys know, there are normal non-obsessed with beauty filipinos out there.

They are filled with meat, are nearly always cold by the time the party starts and not so good. I do like them when they are hot, but at most of these parties, all of the food is cold when it is served. I think the spring rolls (more commonly called lumpia) is just less popular here because they don't hold up well to being cold at all.

That is so weird. Every filipino party I've been to when growing up they've always had the food on trays in chafing dishes over sterno cups to keep the food warm. Unless of course the party was at the beach in which case the sun was great at keeping everything warm. I don't think it's a Hawaii only thing, as my filipino/chinese wife from New York also does the sterno and chafing dish thing when needed. We actually bring it even when we have to do potluck.

Anyway, this is just to show there are "normal" Filipinos out there. Just so you all don't feel like we're all shallow and not good at serving food at parties.

[$iljanus]

Usually when we have (or go to) Filipino parties, they have the Shang Hai rolls which maybe are related? They are filled with meat, are nearly always cold by the time the party starts and not so good. I do like them when they are hot, but at most of these parties, all of the food is cold when it is served. I think the spring rolls (more commonly called lumpia) is just less popular here because they don't hold up well to being cold at all.

Man, having gone to a few Filipino parties in my time due to being a first generation Filipino-American I have to say that your hosts aren't very good at it. It's fine not to like the cuisine but serving it cold really doesn't help. Of course, I think any food that's served cold which wasn't meant to be cold might not taste very good.

Now excuse me but I need to work on putting product in my hair for the next hour so I look my best before taking out the trash.

[Jeff V]

So, I try to stay out of the obvious filipino related threads because I don't like the feeling of having to justify my ethnicity but I accidentally stumbled onto one here, so here goes:

Tangentially, I'm not sure there is an ethnicity more focused on appearance and validation as Filipinos, particularly the younger ones. Next time we meet I'll let you check out my FB feed...it's filled with selfies and apparent (to me) trolling for complements...I simply "like" them all and provide generic platitudes when pressed. As a people they are obsessed with beauty pageants and Miss Universe there is treated with the same reverence and excitement as the Superbowl here, whereas the same kinds of events are criticized here as being sexist and outdated.

As a counter-anecdote I'd say my facebook feed consists of my cousins talking about their kids and/or posting events out with their friends. Maybe it's a difference between filipinos in Hawaii vs. everywhere else or american filipinos who have made successful careers and whose families are mostly in the US so they feel they have nothing to prove? I don't know, but just to let you guys know, there are normal non-obsessed with beauty filipinos out there.

Most of my Filipino Facebook friends are in the Philippines, the majority in the provinces and not big cities. Over the past year or so, there's been an influx of teenagers and young adults...perhaps cheaper phones or better service became available. Some are older and do post lots of pictures of family and outings.

They are filled with meat, are nearly always cold by the time the party starts and not so good. I do like them when they are hot, but at most of these parties, all of the food is cold when it is served. I think the spring rolls (more commonly called lumpia) is just less popular here because they don't hold up well to being cold at all.

That is so weird. Every filipino party I've been to when growing up they've always had the food on trays in chafing dishes over sterno cups to keep the food warm. Unless of course the party was at the beach in which case the sun was great at keeping everything warm. I don't think it's a Hawaii only thing, as my filipino/chinese wife from New York also does the sterno and chafing dish thing when needed. We actually bring it even when we have to do potluck.

Anyway, this is just to show there are "normal" Filipinos out there. Just so you all don't feel like we're all shallow and not good at serving food at parties.

We have chafing dishes too and the food is warm when we host parties. Most of her friends don't do that, and it seems nobody starts eating until 2 hours after the party starts (to allow for those chronically late that run on self-described "Filipino Time." When they've had mobile banquets -- beach, water park, or other park/outdoor event the food gets prepared many hours i advance and is then placed on a shaded table or under a canopy so the sun isn't cooking it some more. My metabolism is slow enough that I can generally pick on a few things and get away with claiming I had enough without being excessively encouraged to eat more.

Man, having gone to a few Filipino parties in my time due to being a first generation Filipino-American I have to say that your hosts aren't very good at it. It's fine not to like the cuisine but serving it cold really doesn't help. Of course, I think any food that's served cold which wasn't meant to be cold might not taste very good.

I don't know if the hosts should be blamed or the guests who take it in stride and have grown to accept it? My wife typically handles the Filipino food when we have parties, and I'll generally make some non-Filipino things (like BBQ ribs and corn this past Monday). I time my food so people are ready to eat when it's done. Another couple we know are hosting a party in a couple of weeks, they are one of the cold-food hosts and the husband will start grilling 1-2 hours before the eating starts. Cold, grilled hamburgers make me sad.

[Jeff V]

So my wife and I just had a long conversation, basically she is worried that we may be inviting a wolf into our hen house so to speak. This girl's one other friend in our town didn't want her moving in with them (and they've been friends longer) because she and my wife were at their house all day Tuesday and apparently she was a little too casual wearing short-shorts and an exposed bra. Then again, the other friend's husband is probably 20 years younger than me...I do not have the libido I used to have and do not particularly notice such things anymore. So my wife is wary about the situation despite my assurances that I'm not interested in the boarder. I told her after she is settled, we will talk about her future plan and we will help ensure she keeps on track and stays motivated to get to the point where she can thrive on her own (or get whisked away by a boytoy who assumes the responsibility). I think living with two young kids might provide enough encouragement in of itself

[dbt1949]

I have had a few friends and my wife's cousin who have Filipino wives and they all say the same thing...........Filipino wives are very loyal but don't ever mess with another woman or they will hurt you.
That and they've all had their MILs live with them at one time or another.

[hepcat]

[
Now excuse me but I need to work on putting product in my hair for the next hour so I look my best before taking out the trash.

PM me if you need help. I've kept a log of hair products over the last 40 years or so. The subscription rate for my service is low.

[Jeff V]

I have had a few friends and my wife's cousin who have Filipino wives and they all say the same thing...........Filipino wives are very loyal but don't ever mess with another woman or they will hurt you.
That and they've all had their MILs live with them at one time or another.

I was first informed of this by the guy who delivered meat to the restaurant I ran in my 20's. We were out drinking on a Wednesday afternoon when we were both off. His advice was never to get involved with a Filipina for that reason, then again, he was married with kids and still fucking around with an 18 year old waitress at a nearby Czech restaurant. I didn't listen to his advice, but I didn't forget it, either. Anyway, like I told my wife this morning, I've never cheated on anyone ever, I am proud of that and intend to go to my grave boasting of it.

It's not so much that she's worried I will start chasing after her, but that she could attempt to lure me. She doesn't know the girl well enough to be certain this would never happen (apparently, she was confident this would not happen the last time we took someone in). Before we were married, there were girls trying to get between us, but there haven't been any incidents (at least from my perspective) since we got married. It would seem odd that on fidelity is fiercely demanded in marriage but not at all respected for those who are single.

[Drazzil]

I have had a few friends and my wife's cousin who have Filipino wives and they all say the same thing...........Filipino wives are very loyal but don't ever mess with another woman or they will hurt you.
That and they've all had their MILs live with them at one time or another.

I was first informed of this by the guy who delivered meat to the restaurant I ran in my 20's. We were out drinking on a Wednesday afternoon when we were both off. His advice was never to get involved with a Filipina for that reason, then again, he was married with kids and still fucking around with an 18 year old waitress at a nearby Czech restaurant. I didn't listen to his advice, but I didn't forget it, either. Anyway, like I told my wife this morning, I've never cheated on anyone ever, I am proud of that and intend to go to my grave boasting of it.

It's not so much that she's worried I will start chasing after her, but that she could attempt to lure me. She doesn't know the girl well enough to be certain this would never happen (apparently, she was confident this would not happen the last time we took someone in). Before we were married, there were girls trying to get between us, but there haven't been any incidents (at least from my perspective) since we got married. It would seem odd that on fidelity is fiercely demanded in marriage but not at all respected for those who are single.

My uninformed opinion backed by a grand total of 0 years married says avoid this situation. If your wife is hesitant there is a reason why.

[Jaymon]

if your wife has concerns, and its because BestFriend won't allow PotentialBoarder to live with bestfriend, its important to find out why.

The mere action of wearing shorts and a bra in the comfort of your own home is not a super huge problem, maybe even when there is company over, and the company is only women. not every culture feels the same way about modesty as Americans, and that might in fact be normal behavior. that can be resolved with a simple conversation before move in "hey potentialboarder, we are more modest than you are used to, ladies need to have a shirt on over their bra in the public areas of the house, please respect this rule if you are going to live with us."


BUT if its due to potential hankypanky between potentialboarder and bestfriends husband, it depends on who is initiating. If potentialboarder is going to make a pass at husband, thats a big nope right there, can't invite that kind of drama into the house. If its because bestfriends husband would not be able to control himself because a lady wearing a bra without shirt is in the house, then thats a severe marital problem between bestfriend and bestfriends husband.

It could also be something else, perhaps bestfriend knows enough about potentialboarder personality to understand she would be a terrible room mate, in which case, accept potentialboarder at your own risk.

[Jeff V]

She admits she has no reason to believe anything improper will occur. Anyway, after I started typing this, I was just informed it's off again! Her lawyer advised her to stay put. It appears her not-yet-ex has not yet filed for divorce, but my wife seems to be getting tired of hearing her complain of emotional abuse and doing nothing about it and now says she's done with her. Mostly she is pissed because we spent money (albeit a very small amount) preparing for her to move in.

[em2nought]

My Thai buddy brought his wife and her adult daughter over. I wonder if, by law, according to an affidavit of support he'd have to give the daughter money each month if she chooses to sit on her keister doing nothing and also not becoming a citizen for the next ten years?