Fuck You, Cancer

[Holman]

I did a search and couldn't find a general cancer thread, although of course there have been some specific and personal ones. Maybe this can be a thread for the bad (and sometimes good!) cancer news all around.

I'm posting because I just learned that my Dad, a sincerely good and virtuous 80-year-old gentleman, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We're all aware that this is a bad one to have.

I've posted sometimes about my religious upbringing and my difference from my Evangelical parents. (I'm an atheist who still respects the value of faith, etc complication etc.)

The hardest part of getting this news from my dad was when he asked me to pray for him. He knew it was a strong request, and I knew it when I heard it, but I told him I would try my best. I also told him that I would ask believers I knew to pray for him as well. It was hard.

I don't know what any prayers I attempt can offer. I do know, though, that people who pray do so sincerely. In honor of my father's request, I humbly ask that those who pray might offer something for him.

I thank you for it, and I know he does too.

[Kraken]

I've got no prayers in me, but you have my sympathy.

[Hipolito]

Though I'm an atheist as well, I'm praying for your father, for you, and for your family.

[Daehawk]

Prayers from me. Sometimes I wonder if they help but I know they dont hurt.I was brought up from birth in the church. As a teen i rejected it all and had an argument for every church fact. Then I was agnostic but later my wife brought me around many years ago by not even trying. Then years later when my wife had heart surgery I know they helped. I got 4 more years. But for her stroke they didn't seem to. She'd say it was her time if she was here. They are hopes and requests from us to God. God does as God does. Perhaps he is simply waiting on these prayers. Best your father , you, and your family.

[Jeff V]

May your father face it with the same fortitude as Alex Trebek. He's the role model for those afflicted with that awful disease. I'm truly sorry though that your family will have to go through this ordeal.

[morlac]

Just lost my Dad in November to a very rare, non curable form of Pancreatic Cancer. He was stage 4 when he got diagnosed but we did chemo anyhow as it bought him a good extra 6 months where he was able to travel a bit and make his rounds. Tough SOB rarely showed how much pain he was in and it luckily went very quick at the end. Good luck to you and your family, feel free to reach out if ya need to.

Michael J.

[Archinerd]

I'm sorry, that sucks.

[LordMortis]

May his prognosis be the best and may he exceed those expectations.

[Skinypupy]

So sorry to hear this. Pancreatic cancer got my dad a couple years ago as well.

Fuck cancer.

[Holman]

Thanks, all.

[Isgrimnur]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Cylus Maxii]

FWIW - you have my prayers. My mom died from cancer last April.

[Newcastle]

Best for you and your family and the aforementioned prayers. Fuck cancer!

[Stefan Stirzaker]

Fuck cancer:(

[Holman]

I teach at a Catholic university, and I told my department chair (who is also a priest) about the news.

I hope my Evangelical dad will be happy to learn that I've got Jesuits on the case.

[Zenn7]

I teach at a Catholic university, and I told my department chair (who is also a priest) about the news.

I hope my Evangelical dad will be happy to learn that I've got Jesuits on the case.

That is unusual and amusing, an atheist teaching at a Catholic University.

As for your Dad, I'm an atheist as well, but sending him warm thoughts, best wishes, and for you and all the family as well. Rough on him, but this stuff is always very rough on everyone else around the patient.

[Holman]

That is unusual and amusing, an atheist teaching at a Catholic University.

Yeah, it's funny but actually pretty routine. Unlike Evangelical schools (where faculty are asked to sign very specific "statements of faith"), I've never even been asked if I believe in God. We're a Catholic school with a Muslim Students Association. I think there is actually a Student Atheists Club.

My contract does include a note that I'm expected not to directly attack core Catholic teaching, but it is immediately followed by a qualifier that academic inquiry is totally independent of church doctrine and that open-mindedness is a part of the Jesuit tradition. I feel pretty free to be me.

[Lassr]

Sending positive thoughts, and yes, Fuck cancer.

[Blackhawk]

I'm also an atheist, and I'm a skeptic, so I can't pray, and thoughts aren't things that can be sent. But you do have my hopes and well-wishes.

And as someone who's lost a significant portion of their family to it, superfuck cancer.

[Holman]

I opened this thread a few months ago when my 80-year-old dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

They caught the disease at stage 2 (which is lucky), and he was doing well for most of the year, but in the past four or five weeks he has taken a downturn. The disease suddenly moved very quickly, and now it looks like chemo is doing more harm than good.

My mother called me this afternoon to tell me that they had brought a hospital bed into the house and switched to hospice care. All indications are that my dad's body has stopped fighting the cancer, so further chemotherapy would only feel like an outside attack. Dad is articulate and lucid but very weak. He and mom want me and my older sister to visit as soon as possible.

My sis is a state-level supervisor of social workers in California, so her schedule is pretty hard to open up. I'm much more flexible, as I teach college English and my department chair is a Jesuit priest who understands my concerns. I'm hoping Sis can arrange to travel week after next as she hopes, but if she can't then I'll go down by myself.

I kind of thought maybe I had another three or five or ten years with my dad. 2020 is goddamn fucking 2020.

[Isgrimnur]

I’m so sorry to hear that. My thoughts go out to you and your family. Let us know if there’s anything we can do.

[Daehawk]

Im sorry. Prayers to you all.

[AWS260]

I'm so sorry.

[Skinypupy]

Shit man, I’m so sorry. Pancreatic is the same thing that got my dad.

Fuck cancer.

[Paingod]

I'm very sorry to hear. I hope the time you may have left with him is good and fulfilling, though it may never be enough.

[malchior]

Sorry for your loss. Fuck Cancer.

[Carpet_pissr]

Sorry, Holman. About 2 years ago, a very close uncle (who I’m named after) of mine was diagnosed with it and gone all within a few months.

Terrible disease, and I hate that your expectations for the time he had left were so much higher than the reality. I went through that same reality check with my uncle (mostly based on the fact that the doctor’s prognosis was way off, and in the wrong direction).

[Holman]

Terrible disease, and I hate that your expectations for the time he had left were so much higher than the reality. I went through that same reality check with my uncle (mostly based on the fact that the doctor’s prognosis was way off, and in the wrong direction).

Same here. Just a couple of months ago the doctors were saying that the cancer was actually shrinking and that the chemo was going very successfully. There was actually an expectation that he would beat it.

Thanks for the kind thoughts, everyone.

[Grifman]

I am very sorry to hear this. I lost my father to throat cancer 3 years ago at the age of 94. Like you, we were given hope by doctors that he would beat the disease but events did not turn out that way. He went through 8 weeks of radiation and chemo but succumbed about a year after being diagnosed. Again, sorry to hear this. Your family has my prayers.

[Unagi]

Ugh. Man. So sorry to read this.
My thoughts are with you.

As you are well aware, being able to Say Goodbye has just got to be so much better than not, even though that comes with its own kind of pain.

[Lassr]

I dread every time I see this topic bumped...for good reason.

I'm so sorry.

[LordMortis]

I so feel for you.

[Zarathud]

Very sorry. Pancreatic cancer sucks doubly hard. Lost my grandmother and my wife’s uncle to it.

[gbasden]

That's awful. I'm so sorry for your family! I hope your sister can free up her schedule - being with both of my parents before and when they died was important for me.

[Little Raven]

I lost my uncle to pancreatic cancer a couple of decades ago, and it was terrifying how fast it ripped through him. A healthy 48 year old man to a concentration camp victim to dead in less than a year.

I'm so sorry, Holman. I hope you and your sister are able to be there.

[Kurth]

So sorry to hear this, Holman. This really has been an awful year. Best wishes to you and your family.

[Holman]

I'm sad to have to post that my dad died last night. He was just shy of his 81st birthday.

He had been in home hospice care for a month, and it was absolutely the best choice. The caregivers were excellent, and going this way at home was far, far better than doing so in a hospital among strangers. My mom says that his last days were very peaceful, mostly sleeping and occasionally making small talk. His hospital bed was next to their old bed, and my mom woke up a couple of hours after going to sleep to find that he had stopped breathing and passed very quietly. They were married for 57 years.

I was able to visit (along with my sister) for a week three weeks ago, and I'm so glad I do. At the time, Dad was still relatively lucid, and we were able to talk. I knew I was saying goodbye.

So that's my cancer news. I know I'm not the only one. This thread is dedicated to all of you and your loved ones who have fought it, suffered with it, or lost from it.

[AWS260]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Lassr]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sent from my Pixel 3 using Tapatalk

[Unagi]

Sorry to read this news.
My thoughts are with you, your mom, and the rest of your family.

I can’t believe I lost my father 18 years ago.

That seems like a very long time. But right now it’s like it could have happened a month ago.