Dear Penthouse Forum

[Jeff V]

So tomorrow we're going to Wisconsin Dells for a weekend of water park fun. Last week at our Super Bowl party, my wife invited all of her friends to join us...great idea. But the plan as of now is, on our room for 6, there will be 4 women (none whom I'd throw out of bed mind you), but to put a damper on things, 5 kids ranging from 2-11. Two other families are going (4 adults, 3 kids between them) but they are getting their own rooms. Lots of food is being brought, as well as wine for the women.

Sadly, the tale when it's all over is bound to be fantasy, not reality. But I think I will be entertained nevertheless, especially since we'll be at a water park so all the women will be in swimsuits.

[Isgrimnur]

I’m sure there’s a closet somewhere...

[Jeff V]

I’m sure there’s a closet somewhere...

Not sure I'm up to the level of contortionist required to do it in a hotel room closet. Of the 3 women not my wife, one of them IS a touchy-feely sort (and the winner of any spontaneous bikini competition) . She's also bringing a 2 and 11 year old to the party.

Now, I do like the idea of lots of kids around so daddy can spend more time in the bar than the wave pool, but out of 8 kids, 6 are girls an the on;y other boy is 2, and this does not excite my son. I expect he'll demand I accompany him on some of the water slides.

[mori]

You could be the first as I am sure no Penthouse Forum letter ever had the location of Wisconsin Dell's in the subject.

[hepcat]

Dear Gloria Allred,

So yesterday a group of us went to Wisconsin Dells for a weekend of water park fun. There were four women and the accused....

[Jeff V]

You could be the first as I am sure no Penthouse Forum letter ever had the location of Wisconsin Dell's in the subject.

You know, I haven't read one of those in ages, but i distinctly recall one taking place in Wisconsin and could have very well been the Dells. At that time, I'd been everywhere in Wisconsin EXCEPT for the Dells.

[Daehawk]

Sounds like a sexless weekend of cold showers and food..

[hepcat]

...and dells! don't forget the dells!

[em2nought]

...and dells! don't forget the dells!

[Scuzz]

Who goes to a waterpark in February?

[Isgrimnur]

If it’s indoor and heated, what’s the problem? And no one is going to expect you to be tanned.

[Scuzz]

If it’s indoor and heated, what’s the problem? And no one is going to expect you to be tanned.

As a Californian it just seemed weird. But it does make sense that in a frosty clime an entertainment option like that would work all year. Here, because the water parks are all out doors they close up pretty soon after school starts in the fall and then don't reopen until about Memorial Day.

[stimpy]

Sadly, the tale when it's all over is bound to be fantasy, not reality. But I think I will be entertained nevertheless, especially since we'll be at a water park so all the women will be in swimsuits.

I anxiously await pictures of my next future ex-wife.

[Jeff V]

So rather than continually paying $8 for a beer that normally costs $8 per 6, I'd return to the room often to have a Deschutes Fresh Hop, that cost exactly $8 for a 6. On one of these trips, one of the single ladies was sitting on her bed. "Jeff, how do the water slides make you go so fast?" So I started to explain about how water serves as lubrication, and then next thing you know I'm giving her a demonstration, when another, also single lady wanders in and asks, "hey, what's going on?" "Jeff is showing me how water slides work!" "Oooh," the second lady says, "can you show me too? My chute is already slippery, you're little man will enjoy his ride!"

Just then, one of the married woman walks in. "What's going on here? You guys are having an orgy and I wasn't invited? I'm so insulted." "Come join us, darling" implored the first girl and I was relieved to find the girls were quite compatible with each other and the end game wasn't all on me.

Then my wife walks in....

Spoiler:

The above i a work of fiction create for hepcat's benefit. Had this been an actual account of true events, I would not be alive to write this.

[hepcat]

Surprisingly you didn’t work the words “monstrously bulbous” into it, as you normally do in your ongoing series “So Many Ladies, So Little Jeff” on 4chan.

[stimpy]

Well that spoiler is a real boner killer.....

[hepcat]

You were about to grapple the bald headed champ over images of JeffV getting it on at a water park? Do you not have reliable internet?

[stimpy]

Well I wasn't thinking about JeffV……

until now...…..

[hepcat]

[Daehawk]

[Archinerd]

chutes?

That's hot.

[Unagi]

I'm confused. Was she inviting your son to the orgy?

[Zarathud]

chutes?

That's hot.

Not as much as when Jeff breaks out the ladders.

[Zenn7]

What happens in the Dells, stays in the Dells (along with Jeff's corpse if the wife finds out).

[hepcat]

I'm confused. Was she inviting your son to the orgy?

"Little man" is literal. Jeff V keeps a sex dwarf on the payroll for emergencies.

[Isgrimnur]

I hope your midget doesn't kill himself. Your dream sequence will be fucked.

[Unagi]

I'm confused. Was she inviting your son to the orgy?

"Little man" is literal. Jeff V keeps a sex dwarf on the payroll for emergencies.

That also explains the little sidecar on his motorcycle!
Thank you.