[North Korea] The Dear Loser comes into his own.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:41 pm

From the "Who do they think they're fooling?" files, Kim Jong-un wins 100% of the vote in North Korean elections

The North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has been unanimously re-elected to the country’s parliament after every single eligible person in his constituency turned out to vote – with only his name on the ballot paper.
...
Rather than being a democratic choice between candidates, elections in North Korea superficially provide the people with the chance to approve the politicians pre-selected by the leading party. Each ballot has a single named listed with the option to pick “yes” or “no”.

In practical terms, however, they are a powerful tool for the government to check up on the movements and potential dissidence of the population.
...
The elections usually receive a turnout of around 99 per cent nationwide. Michael Madden, editor of the NK Leadership Watch website, said this reflects one reason the autocratic North has votes at all: they provide “the most comprehensive assessment of the population”.

Mustering the nation is a chance for the authorities to hone their mobilisation skills, check the efficiency of local leaders and get a snapshot of internal movements.
...
Mr Madden said security officials will review data on non-voters to glean information on suspicious activity - absentees could be defected military personnel or workers who have escaped to China in search of higher pay and a better life.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:46 pm

Isgrimnur wrote:From the "Who do they think they're fooling?" files, Kim Jong-un wins 100% of the vote in North Korean elections

Have you seen their President lately?

Incumbent
Kim Il-sung
since September 5, 1998

Carpet_pissr · Post by **Carpet_pissr** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 3:58 pm

You know who else won with 100% of the electoral vote?

This guy!

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:03 pm

Personally, I think that if Joe DiMaggio was not a unanimous pick for leader of North Korea, then no one should get a unanimous vote for leader of North Korea.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:29 pm

El Guapo wrote:Personally, I think that if Joe DiMaggio was not a unanimous pick for leader of North Korea, then no one should get a unanimous vote for leader of North Korea.

PEDs are destroying the sanctity of the Supreme Leadership. Have you seen his head lately? Makes Barry Bonds' roidmelon look like a grape. And they need to put an asterisk next to his old man's 54-under-par.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 4:57 pm

I wonder if the 'no' option is in any way related to the trap door you stand on to vote?

Scraper · Post by **Scraper** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:15 pm

Blackhawk wrote:I wonder if the 'no' option is in any way related to the trap door you stand on to vote?

Close enough, in order to vote no you literally have to go into a separate "Booth".

The elections are really a way for the government to keep track of people. If you don't show up for an election then they know you skipped town and then your entire family will be sent to slave camps, as in wife, kids, and grand kids. Apparently even people who have escaped to Chine will risk coming back in to NK just to vote so they can protect their family.

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:31 pm

Scraper wrote:
Blackhawk wrote:I wonder if the 'no' option is in any way related to the trap door you stand on to vote?
Close enough, in order to vote no you literally have to go into a separate "Booth".

The elections are really a way for the government to keep track of people. If you don't show up for an election then they know you skipped town and then your entire family will be sent to slave camps, as in wife, kids, and grand kids. Apparently even people who have escaped to Chine will risk coming back in to NK just to vote so they can protect their family.

So I guess we could refer to the recent executions as a North Korean election campaign?

Quite an effective one obviously.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Mon Mar 10, 2014 6:48 pm

Living in NK is like being in a live-action game of Paranoia!

Scraper · Post by **Scraper** » Tue Mar 11, 2014 9:04 am

If you really want to see their propaganda in action you should browse the DPRK's official English language website. Here's a rather shit filled quote from it

All the citizens who have reached 17 years of age have the right to elect and to be elected, irrespective of sex, race, occupation, length of residence, property status, education, party affiliation, political views and religion. They also have freedom of speech, the press, assembly, demonstration and association, freedom of religious beliefs and they are entitled to submit complaints and petitions.

Here's the link http://www.korea-dpr.com/citizen.html It's quite interesting. It makes me wonder who in the hell they are trying to fool? The people living in their country can't read it since they don't have access to it, and no one outside of their country is dumb enough to believe the crap they spew out.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Tue Mar 11, 2014 12:46 pm

Scraper wrote:Here's the link http://www.korea-dpr.com/citizen.html It's quite interesting. It makes me wonder who in the hell they are trying to fool? The people living in their country can't read it since they don't have access to it, and no one outside of their country is dumb enough to believe the crap they spew out.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Tue Mar 11, 2014 1:49 pm

Scraper wrote:
Here's the link http://www.korea-dpr.com/citizen.html It's quite interesting. It makes me wonder who in the hell they are trying to fool? The people living in their country can't read it since they don't have access to it, and no one outside of their country is dumb enough to believe the crap they spew out.

Probably the leadership. If someone puts you in charge of creating a website extolling the greatness of the "DPRK", that's what you write if you didn't want to find your way in front of a firing squad. Lives are on the line all the way up to the guy who heard Jong-un say, "Hey, you know what would be nice? A website would be nice. One that informs all the world of our glorious Juche-oriented socialist state."

The entire country seems to be built around grovelling sycophancy meant to stay the wrath of the Dear Leader.

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Wed Mar 26, 2014 11:49 am

Men in North Korea are now required to get the same haircut as Kim Jong-un.

Truly, his depravity knows no bounds.

redrun · Post by **redrun** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:14 am

Scraper wrote:If you really want to see their propaganda in action you should browse the DPRK's official English language website. Here's a rather shit filled quote from it
All the citizens who have reached 17 years of age have the right to elect and to be elected, irrespective of sex, race, occupation, length of residence, property status, education, party affiliation, political views and religion. They also have freedom of speech, the press, assembly, demonstration and association, freedom of religious beliefs and they are entitled to submit complaints and petitions.
Here's the link http://www.korea-dpr.com/citizen.html It's quite interesting. It makes me wonder who in the hell they are trying to fool? The people living in their country can't read it since they don't have access to it, and no one outside of their country is dumb enough to believe the crap they spew out.

Yes, but if you wander a bit, the site will also let you buy stuff - an NK flag, videos, etc.. Strangely enough, the prices are in euros.

You only need to fool the people who have power over you. So, if you put up a website that tells how wonderful NK is, that sells flags and videos (with stories of NK heros against the evil US/SK aggressors), that spreads the culture of NK, and that bring in hard foreign currency (!!!) - who cares what the rest of the world thinks? You get some foreign currency to pass up the line (very good!), you get to show how you are spreading the 'true' story of NK's struggle against evil agressors. Who would dare to claim your website was anything but a good thing?

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:25 am

AWS260 wrote:Men in North Korea are now required to get the same haircut as Kim Jong-un.

Truly, his depravity knows no bounds.

Reports today that this rumour is false. Too bad. It was a funny one.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:28 am

AWS260 wrote:Men in North Korea are now required to get the same haircut as Kim Jong-un.

Truly, his depravity knows no bounds.

Well, it only applies to male University students right now.

This was news to me:

It seems that haircuts have been state-approved in North Korea for some time - until now people were reportedly only allowed to choose from 18 styles for women and 10 for men. Earlier, North Korea's state TV launched a campaign against long hair, called "Let us trim our hair in accordance with the Socialist lifestyle".

And this is awesome:

"Our leader's haircut is very particular, if you will," one source tells Radio Free Asia. "It doesn't always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes." Meanwhile, a North Korean now living in China says the look is actually unpopular at home because people think it resembles Chinese smugglers. "Until the mid-2000s, we called it the 'Chinese smuggler haircut'," the Korea Times reports.

Moliere · Post by **Moliere** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 1:06 pm

racially biased hair regulations in the U.S. Army

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:43 pm

Where is he?

With the North Korean leader not seen in public for more than a month, rumours of a palace coup are rife. But evidence from inside the country suggests otherwise, says Christopher Green.

...

The leader has not been seen in public since 3 September, missing high-profile events including the celebrations for founding day of the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea on 9 September and a legislative session of the Supreme People’s Assembly on the 25th. Just yesterday he missed a meeting to mark the 17th anniversary of Kim Jong-il’s election as general secretary of the ruling party.

...

Formal acknowledgement in a television documentary that Kim is suffering from “discomfort” did nothing to dampen the rumours that he has been subject to a palace coup.

The speculation stems from remarks from a former high-ranking North Korean official turned defector, Jang Jin-sung, suggesting the OGD has seized control, leaving Kim as a figurehead.

For many commenters, Hwang’s surprise appearance at the closing ceremony of the Asian Games was enough to provide evidence of Kim Jong-un’s downfall – both because of Hwang’s seniority and the unlikeliness of his trip to the south.

...

But there is a less dramatic explanation. Based on the video evidence of his limp, it is widely accepted that Kim is now receiving medical treatment – possibly at one of the family’s well-appointed villas. The Seoul-based defector group, North Korea Intellectuals’ Solidarity, claims that Kim Yo-jong, his younger sister who acted as an aide to their father Kim Jong-il during his final years, is signing off on decisions in his absence.

Yet claims that Kim has been toppled are not supported by reports of internal North Korean lectures explaining the surprise visit to the Games. DailyNK, a South Korean media organisation staffed in part by defectors who have sources in the North, says civilians were gathered at workplaces and housing complexes on Saturday afternoon to hear the government’s explanation for the trip.

“Senior party and military cadres were dispatched all the way [to the Asian Games] for our athletes, who, without exception, honoured the Fatherland with their indomitable fighting spirit,” one lecturer explained. “With his great love and compassion, Marshal Kim Jong-un personally organised their dispatch, and provided them with a special plane,” she added.

Moliere · Post by **Moliere** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:13 pm

Carpet_pissr wrote:You know who else won with 100% of the electoral vote?

This guy!

At least he was smart enough to retire after 2 terms instead of dying in office during a 3rd term. That would have been a horrible precedent.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:54 pm

Moliere wrote:That would have been a horrible precedent.

A horrible president precedent, to be precise.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:55 pm

Mount Vernon has information on the first presidentures.

Scraper · Post by **Scraper** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 1:35 pm

Back on topic. It has now been more than month since Dear Loser has been seen in public, sparking all kinds of theories about why. The most likely seems to be that he blew out tendons in his feet causing him to be in great pain and unable to walk. Of course there is the other side who say he may have been deposed, but I think if this happened whoever did the deposing would have said it happened by now.

In all likely hood he is recovering in luxury somewhere becoming even fatter.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 1:40 pm

Nah, it was the import restrictions on hair gel.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:24 pm

Scraper wrote:Back on topic. It has now been more than month since Dear Loser has been seen in public, sparking all kinds of theories about why. The most likely seems to be that he blew out tendons in his feet causing him to be in great pain and unable to walk. Of course there is the other side who say he may have been deposed, but I think if this happened whoever did the deposing would have said it happened by now.

In all likely hood he is recovering in luxury somewhere becoming even fatter.

Before the commercial break...

I'm pretty sure I saw him in a private club on the Northwest Side last week with Dennis Rodman.

Toe · Post by **Toe** » Wed May 13, 2015 7:31 am

North Korea executes defense chief with an anti-aircraft gun

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/05/ ... 1J20150513

Hyon Yong Chol, who headed the isolated nuclear-capable country's military, was charged with treason, including disobeying Kim and falling asleep during an event at which North Korea's young leader was present

I predict an increase in demand of energy drinks and no-dose in north korea.

I guess its "go big or go home" when it comes to firing squads there now. Here is what they used on him. Sheesh

Spoiler:

Scraper · Post by **Scraper** » Wed May 13, 2015 9:02 am

The rate at which he is killing top level officials will eventually bite him in the ass. At some point he will either kill off everyone with experience and competency to do their job, leaving the country even weaker than it already is, or those left with some competency will find a way to depose him out of fear for their own lives.

This by the way is the second article about him killing a top ranking official this week. Yesterday there was an article about him poisoning his Aunt, the same Aunt who was married to his Uncle whom he allegedly fed to dogs.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Wed May 13, 2015 9:45 am

I'm not a fan of North Korea and it's dysfunctional political dynasty, but I tend to take some of these claims with a grain of salt. The sources behind most of these reports are less than reputable in most cases. And they just seem outlandish even for the NK at times.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Wed May 13, 2015 9:56 am

hepcat wrote:I'm not a fan of North Korea

A bold stance.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:17 am

El Guapo wrote:
hepcat wrote:I'm not a fan of North Korea
A bold stance.

Listen, I think everyone here is aware you've been a Kim Jong Un fanboy since the day he took over. But you have to admit, the regime is a bit oppressive. No matter what your fan club newsletter (The Un-believer) tells you, there have been some atrocities committed.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:23 am

hepcat wrote: No matter what your fan club newsletter (The Un-believer) tells you, there have been some atrocities committed.

I'm going to guess that you haven't yet seen the slash-fic serial, The Unloved.

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:35 am

"yet"?

GreenGoo · Post by **GreenGoo** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:36 am

Scraper wrote:The rate at which he is killing top level officials will eventually bite him in the ass..

First, he culled quite a few people when he came into power. He executed his uncle who was one of his biggest supporters, so that raised a few eyebrows.

Second, there have been near constant rumours that he only has a shaky hold on things. He recently hadn't been seen in public for about a month leaving the world to speculate wildly. When he returned, the rumours of a possible coup attempt were sky high. It's also one of the reasons speculated that he cancelled on Putin recently (an event prior to the end of WWII celebration/memorial event).

My point is that increased executions seems to be a sign of him putting down dissent, not necessarily him killing people because his porridge was cold and he's batshit insane.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:45 am

hepcat wrote:
El Guapo wrote:
hepcat wrote:I'm not a fan of North Korea
A bold stance.
Listen, I think everyone here is aware you've been a Kim Jong Un fanboy since the day he took over. But you have to admit, the regime is a bit oppressive. No matter what your fan club newsletter (The Un-believer) tells you, there have been some atrocities committed.

Sure, if you believe the propagandistic lies of the enemies of the Korean people.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:45 am

hepcat wrote:"yet"?

I'm doing a Kickstarter to get it published in book form. I have you penciled in for the "Workers: Party" special limited edition. Too presumptuous?

hepcat · Post by **hepcat** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:58 am

That's fine, as long as we're both still backing Sky Sharks.

El Guapo wrote:
Sure, if you believe the propagandistic lies of the enemies of the Korean people.

That reminds me, do you still have those files from Sony with the personal emails? I wanted to send them to a friend.

Oh...and

Carpet_pissr · Post by **Carpet_pissr** » Wed May 13, 2015 12:27 pm

Mark my words...when all is said and done, and the regime collapses...the only one left standing, (cue "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" song) will be the master of disaster, the King of Controversy, let's give it up for your NEW, beloved Leader, who really prefers that you call him "Beautiful Unicorn Sparkles".......DENNNNNNNNNNISSS RODDDDDDDMAN!

Rip · Post by **Rip** » Wed May 13, 2015 5:07 pm

I for one welcome our new Worm overlords.

Kraken · Post by **Kraken** » Wed May 13, 2015 11:29 pm

Talk about going out in a blaze of glory...sure makes the gurney look lame.

Moliere · Post by **Moliere** » Thu May 14, 2015 10:38 am

hepcat wrote:I'm not a fan of North Korea and it's dysfunctional political dynasty, but I tend to take some of these claims with a grain of salt. The sources behind most of these reports are less than reputable in most cases. And they just seem outlandish even for the NK at times.

Unusual Activity at the Kanggon Military Training Area in North Korea: Evidence of Execution by Anti-aircraft Machine Guns?

Circumstantial for sure, but what else is there until you return from your fact finding mission?

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Thu May 14, 2015 10:49 am

Moliere wrote:
hepcat wrote:I'm not a fan of North Korea and it's dysfunctional political dynasty, but I tend to take some of these claims with a grain of salt. The sources behind most of these reports are less than reputable in most cases. And they just seem outlandish even for the NK at times.
Unusual Activity at the Kanggon Military Training Area in North Korea: Evidence of Execution by Anti-aircraft Machine Guns?

Circumstantial for sure, but what else is there until you return from your fact finding mission?

How about official confirmation? :lol: