From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Shield of Hope, 4 January 2243:
"I wear nothing but blue 13 uniform and carry nothing but hope in heart as I travel south. I stay along ocean shore; hopefully, Louie not like salty air because it ruin steel pantalones. I meet fisherpeoples.
"I start walk to sea, then...
"I figure out that fisherpeoples try trick me into getting wet! What, you pendejos think I estupido? My character sheet is mentira, my intellihence is a very good smart!
"I keep walk south. Finally I reach destinación: Navarro. I give Chris one last chance to say truth.
"Hasta la vista, friendo.
"After I done kicking smile off Chris's face, I open door behind him. Behind it was door into underground place, which I take. I explore underground and this time I not see chupacabra, I see people. La migra. I not afraid of them this time. The first person I see tells me:
"I find guy in steel pantalones and talk him.
"I find armory and take everything from lockers. I find weapon, at least I think it weapon. It what Louie carries. I think it look like a leaf blower, but I not about to put hand over it to find out.
"Then I find pair of steel pantalones. I find bunny helmet and look into empty ojo holes long time. I can hear voice of Louie and big deep voice of el hombre gigante who murdered migrant family. 'This not your affair,' he told me. Well, it my affair now. I put it on, this Power Armor Bellgrande. This is what Carlos look like as policía migratoria.
"I go upstairs to outside area. It look like big military place. I feel lost, but I find drill sargento.
"That where I supposed to stay, but while Sargento not making rounds, I walk around looking for thing I come here for: información.
"I go to garage and look around. Pretty noisy here. I look through tools and lockers, but there one locker that guy won't let me open.
"I set secret bomba near him. No one notice boomplosion because garage so noisy all the time.
"I know it not nice what I just do, he just try to do his yob. But I gotta yob too.
"Inside locker, I find plans for building Vertibird helichopper. Maybe I build my own so I look for tribe from sky.
"Sargento making rounds now, so I run over to guard post before he notice I not there and before anyone notice what just happen in garage.
"Información find is importante, but I also could use some comida, so I go talk to cook. I hungry for conejo chorizo, hope he have that.
"My tribe deported to middle of ocean? Santa Sangria! This situación very bad. I need fob! But before I try get it, I report to duty station again time and wait for Sargento to make round.
"I start to understand why people might join la migra. It not just because you get to wear shiny pantalones and carry big gun. There some good people here, like the cook. Even the Sargento not seem like bad guy. At least is a steady yob. It feel like being in a tribe again.
"When Sargento walk away, I rush downstairs and find base jefe's office.
"I clean jefe's office. Easiest yob I ever had, he keep it clean already. But when I try to open locker...
"That probably where he keep fob. Setting bomba probably not gonna work this time. Bueno, I have to find another way.
"I leave base jefe office and look around for more información. I find computadora room. Computadora can give good información I hear. I ask if I can use.
"Computadora not make me feel gooder. Maybe I can steal Vertibird from here or build own Vertibird from plans. But I no know how to fly. Maybe it easy? Probably easier than stealing fob.
"I go to see Dr. Schreber. Cook tell me that he not nice, but maybe he give good información. He next to the room where I saw chupacabra when I come here before.
"He then say that la migra is experimenting with chupacabras to see if they are good, cheap luchadores. Experiment works, but chupacabras too intellihent! La migra not trust smart chupacabras, so they gonna kill them all.
"This give me idea for using chupacabra in next room. I even promise doctor that I will kill it for him. Before I do that, I notice he have a strange perro just standing there. I go to play with it.
"Talking perro! But it full of metal and not move. I ask Dr. Schreber about it.
"This doctor not nice to perro, chupacabra, or anybody. As for chupacabra, here my plan: I will open door and let chupacabra out. He will chase me like a toro. I will lead him to base jefe office, where he make such mess that hopefully I can get the fob without anyone noticing.
"I talk to guard in front of chupacabra pen.
"But when I go inside, chupacabra not run after me like other chupacabra do. He just stand there and watch. Plan not go according to plan. I about to blow leaf blower in his face to make him mad, but then he started talking.
"I go to Dr. Schreber's office to get key to free Xarn. But he not let me take key. That his last mistake.
"I chase doctor around room and kick him to death in front of roboperro. No more naughty experiment!
"I talk to roboperro again.
"I go upstairs and get the part to repair roboperro. Before I come back down, I report for guard duty again one more time.
"But when I try to put part in roboperro, I no could do it.
"Maybe my Repair skill too low. I probably should have asked doctor for help before killing him. But that OK. Roboperro not taste as good as Perrocarne anyway.
"I take key from doctor's desk and open door for Xarn so he can get away.
"I actually made friend with chupacabra. That sound loco, but it make me feel a little gooder. I follow Xarn outside and away from military area. He go off to warn his chupacabra tribe.
"I all alone again. I fail to get fob. Nothing more I can do in Navarro. Not know what I can do anywhere. I help free slaves, Sulik seester, fantasmas, even chupacabra, but I no can free my own people. What good am I?"
Last edited by Hipolito on Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Ive finished FO2 twice now and never seen any of that stuff at Navarro . I always go in the front door guns blazing and kill everyone. next time I need to try that secret way. Id like to have that robodog.
--------------------------------------------- I am Dyslexic of Borg, prepare to have your ass laminated.
Chapter 16: If You're Blowing Through San Francisco
From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Shield of Hope, 9 February 2243, San Francisco:
"Hakunin told me story about place called San Francisco. He say there is gentle people there with flour in their nose. Or something like that. I not believe him, but people in Navarro say tanker is in San Francisco, so maybe place is real.
"I go south of Navarro gas station and look along coast for San Francisco. Along way, I get chased by Louie many time. Louie know I not really policía migratoria; my Power Armor Bellgrande not fool him.
"At least the armor make the big guns hurt less. I able to get away alive.
"La migra not the only ones out here. I also see a lot of heckos de fuego.
"There even be a bunch of aliens from space planet, like the octopus overlords I seed in Redding. I try to be nice to them, but they not interest in me as friend, only as eat me.
"¿Por qué a los Pulpos Dominadores no les gustan Carlos? In my armor, they not hurt me, but I no can hurt them either because I not bring weapons I good with, so I run away.
"It be a long, tough viaje, but I finally find place that look like a city.
"I take off my Power Armor Bellgrande so I not look suspicious. Then I go to city. San Francisco really real! First thing I see there is lucha libre.
"People here really into it. It look like the guys in the ring are a rudo name Lo Pan and a técnico name Dragon. After fight over, I talk to them while they rest and ask them to teach me fighting art. Lo Pan tell me I too 'self-righteous,' whatever that mean. Dragon say he no can help me. Maybe he right; my Unarmed skill is more than 100% now.
"Maybe it best not to get involved in lucha libre, look for tanker instead. It muy importante to find tanker, because it maybe take me to where my tribe got deported. But without fob, I not know if it will.
"I notice there very good shops here in San Francisco; maybe I come back with more dinero to buy things. Then I see a place that no look like it belong there. It look a lot like, no it look exactly like the place I seed in Den. Even the doorman has same uniform.
"What kind of place is this? It look like a discoteca from outside. Must be a lotta young people having fun inside. I hope I no gotta clean one of these places. I talk to Matthew, the doorman, maybe he know about tanker.
"He then talk a lot about his company called Brotherhood of Steel. I not understand all his English, but I think he say that Brotherhood of Steel owns a few discotecas here and there so people can dance and be happy. These discotecas are too small, though, because Brotherhood not have helichoppers to fly people to discotecas. But la migra, or 'Enclave,' has Vertibird technology. Brotherhood need to get Vertibird plans, or it go outta business and people start dancing with Enclave.
"That would be bad, because Enclave is lot badder than I thinked. They not just deport people. .
"Tío del abogado del diablo! All those slaves, all those drogadictos in Den and Redding, la migra behind it all. Now it make sense why la migra been murdering people ... and why I gotta fight la migra however I can.
"Matthew ask me to get the Vertibird plans for the Brotherhood of Steel. I not tell him I have plans already. I wait for his offer.
"He can do that?! I not need fob??!! I finally going to see my people???!!!
"I try not to look excite as I pretend to leave for Navarro to get the Vertibird plans. It not look right if I just give Matthew plans right away, he get suspicious and think they fake. So I just walk around San Francisco for a while.
"I thought I found tanker here, this big white ship, but I not sure.
"I try to ask around about it.
"I take stairs nearby to underground place and talk to person in robe.
"Ah, I know who these people are. Hakunin told me they are called Scientologists. He said they very sensitive, so it muy importante not to say things that hurt their feelings.
"I agree to be align. I hope it not hurt. I find Juan y Kitty. They talk about why it good to be Scientologist.
"When they done talking, I talk to them. They always talk as if so happy.
"Then they align me. I not sure what they did, but it feeled pretty good. I feeled smarter. My English not get better, but my character sheet now say my Intellihence is 3 not 2! That still not correct, because I am much higher brain think man.
"I wander Scientology place more and find AHS-9, who I think is jefe of Scientologists.
"Hakunin warn me not to get involved with Scientologists, so I not gonna go on super adventure to kill umpire. But if Brotherhood not help me find familia, maybe I do what AHS-9 ask.
"I leave Scientology place and look around city more. San Francisco seem like nice city at first, but then you see how the pobres live.
"I find tanker. It big.
"Inside are a lotta people who no have yob.
"There good shops in tanker, too, selling good stuffs. I trade some weapons from Navarro for Power Fist Bellgrande so I can do heavy-duty hardening and cheek-punching.
"In back of tanker, there stairs going down, but I hear aliens making noises from below.
"Even with Power Armor Bellgrande and Power Fist Bellgrande, I not gonna go down there alone. I come back with amigos later. That all to see, so I go back to Matthew to give him Vertibird plans. I hope he told truth about helping me.
"¡AVE ELISHA! I can now go to Enclave Island and see my people!
"I go into Brotherhood of Steel discoteca. It pretty small, and nobody dancing or drinking inside. It look more like military place in Navarro than discoteca.
"I find some steel pantalones and energy guns inside. These will be for my amigos.
"But I no can free tribe right now. I no have HECK, and my people no can be really free if I no can give it to them. And if I no ready to fight aliens in basement of tanker, I no ready to fight la migra on their island. I need to get back to Sulik y Perrocarne and find the HECK. Along the way, we try help people in the wasteland. That make us fuerte.
"The tribal gods give me muchos puntos de experiencia for completing vision quest. I now Level 12. I have two perk to pick; I take Lifegiver twice so I can get a lotta puntos de hit.
"I put my steel pantalones back on so I can carry all the gifts from the Brotherhood. Gracias a Dios for Brotherhood of Steel! Maybe I join them in future when their discotecas get bigger and they have yob available.
"I ready to head back north. Hasta luego, San Francisco. When I come back, Enclave gonna be a non-clave."
Last edited by Hipolito on Tue Dec 27, 2011 8:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Chapter 17: Wherein the Hero, Carlos Vargas, Having Stepped in a Caustic Substance, Regrets the Twenty-Third Century's Lack of Gold Bond Medicated Powder
From the journal of Carlos Vargas, Shield of Hope, 26 May 2243, Klamath:
"Leaving San Francisco, I run into old friend. Guess who.
"Me wonder what wrong with this guy. Even la migra probably too annoyed to bother deport him.
"This time he have metal armor, but armor not cover face.
"Me wonder if he on bigger quest than I am.
"On way back north, I discover a Military Base.
"I try to see what there, but howling perros chase me away. I think something important here I better find, but I not gonna face this place alone.
"I keep go north and find una lonchera.
"I pretty hungry, so I wait for workers to open the lonchera so I could buy bean burrito. But the workers not help me, they just lie around. So lazy, how can they earn dinero and keep yob like this? I search their red camisas for key to open truck so I can serve myself, but I only find some drogas. Qué vergüenza.
"I keep go north more. In desert, I see many time mutantes horribles. They speak in own mutante language I no comprendo.
"They big and slow. With Power Fist Bellgrande, I smash their cuerpos into queso y sangre.
"It a waste of time when I could just run away, but at least I get a lotta puntos de experiencia.
"I keep go north, on way to Primitive Tribe to pick up Sulik y Perrocarne. I discover big stone cabeza just like the one in Arroyo. But this one a little different: it talk!
"I think it just my imaginación, so I go up to it to rub nose for buena suerte just like I did back at home. It not like!
"Good thing I have 80% Speech skill, no? Cabeza give me cool rock as reward for winning debate. If anyone else no believe I am El Eligido, I just can show him rock.
"After all that, I finally make it back to Primitive Tribe. Sulik y Perrocarne both happy to see me. I tell them about what I learn about la migra and what I do in San Francisco. I give Sulik steel pantalones. He complain that it hide his tattoos and músculos, but I need him wear it so he can carry more thing. He refuse wear bucket helmet, though, because it hide Grampy Bone. I not like wear power armor, either. If I gotta use el baño and no can take off armor in time, I might get a wet back.
"I take Sulik y Perrocarne to Den, where Vic still eating at Mom's diner. He getting pretty fat now, so I call him Gordo. I talk him.
"I give him Sulik's old leather chaqueta for protección. It too small for him.
"Sulik y yo laugh and laugh until Gordo complain, then I give him Brotherhood Armor and combat shotgun. Bueno, now he look like luchador.
"Gordo can take us to Vault City, but we not go there yet. There promise I make to Ardin Buckner in Klamath long time ago.
"Toxic Caves not far from Den, so it good to go there first before we go on long viaje anywhere else.
"We get there and sí, there are lotta hecko lizards here. They used to be muy peligroso, but with my Power Armor Bellgrande and mega cooking mitt, I kill hecko before Sulik y Gordo can aim their guns.
"This cooking mitt very good! When all this is over and I get yob in cafetería, other cocineros will be jealous of me.
"But things not look good further in we go. It look like janitor of this place spill cleaning solución all over the place and not mop it up.
"No get me wrongo, I think it good choice of cleaning solución, but it muy sucio to not finish yob. Janitor should be fire for this. Why workers lazy all of sudden? I guess it because la migra deport the best trabajadores, so this is what you got left. I give rubber boots to Sulik y Gordo to protect their pies if they walk on the solución.
"I find janitor closet, maybe there mop inside. But floor in front of closet covered in cleaning solución. You think Power Armor Bellgrande protect pies from solución, but it no do that!
"My pies start to itch real bad. But I make it to closet. No mop there, but there is another pair of rubber boots which I use for myself.
"We walk further into caves looking for Señor Smiley and killing heckos. Gordo not very good luchador after all. He miss a lot with combat shotgun, and sometimes even shoot me and Sulik. Not know if this going to work out.
"Mess on floor become unbelievable.
"By now, Sulik and Gordo's boots melted away already, so they get hurt every step they take in solución. Gordo not take damage, but Sulik take 2 puntos de hit each step.
"I finally find Señor Smiley. He hurt but he live.
"As we walk out of room, we see elevator that not work. Gordo do some repair work and make elevator have power again. I guess he good at something. But we still no could use elevator because it door was lock. I no can pick lock any more than Sulik can pick nose, but maybe we come back and try again otro día.
"We make sure Señor Smiley get out of cave okay. By this time, pobre Sulik almost muerto with only 11 puntos de hit left. Back in Klamath, while Sulik get pie massage in bathhouse, I talk again with Señor Smiley.
"Now that we keep the promise to rescue Ardin's amigo, we can move on. But we still got one thing to do before go Vault City: go Military Base. I wanna know what la migra hides there. In meantime, I wonder if Hecko Skinning perk can be use on perro. Only one way to find out. Perrocarne, ven aquí...."
Hipolito Hankies wishes to warn our readership that the next update may take some time to produce. Mr. Vargas's written account of the incident at Military Base seems to be missing. We are examining his journal closely for any indication of what might have occurred there, and are attempting to construct a timeline of events based on surveillance footage from the base's closed-circuit video cameras. Rest assured that we will continue to document the Chosen One's exploits better than anyone else in the business.
Last edited by Hipolito on Tue Dec 27, 2011 8:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
From: Stephanie Assham-Dubious, Director of Public Affairs, Hipolito Hankies S.A. To: Baktosh, Forum Moderator, Octopus Overlords CC: Hipolito, Founder and Jefe, Hipolito Hankies S.A. Re: Update! Update! Update! Update! Update! Update!
Thank you for your inquiry regarding further updates of the Fallout 2 After Action Report. Reconstructing the events at Military Base is a gradual but continuing process. (Note that "process" should be pronounced "PRO sess" for proper gravitas in this context.) We are still examining the journal of Carlos Vargas for accounts of what happened at Military Base. His seeming failure to describe the incident may be attributed to his very low intelligence.
Thus far, evidence collected from surveillance equipment posted within the exterior boundaries of Military Base shows that that Carlos Vargas and his associates managed to infiltrate the facility in an unconventional manner. What they discovered within remains to be determined. Regrettably, the infiltration was preceded by multiple acts of violence against Canine Americans. Not wishing to receive petitions from animal rights organizations, we are contemplating a decision to not reveal what happened on the exterior lot of Military Base.
Our goal is to publish the next update before the release of the Fallout 3 Video Game. (Any effort on part of the Octopus Overlords to forestall the release of the Fallout 3 Video Game would be appreciated.) In the meantime, we encourage speculation and rumor about what the update will reveal. We also encourage readers to take another look at the most recent update (Chapter 17), as one of the pictures contains a secret "Internet link." (This is the only part of the AAR thus far to have a secret "Internet link," so we discourage readers from searching other chapters in the story for such secrets.)
Hipolito Hankies thanks all readers for their interest and impatience.
love the thing at the end of the link. i will be patient and hope carlos turns up soon. ps. isn't fallout 3 not out for another month and a half?
edit: i know the majority of people reading this thread have played fallout 1 but for those of us who haven't, you can downloaad it for free at gametap. i haven't played much myself. i didn't look at he controls before i started which ment that when i stumbled upon a raider base and asked to join, and the chief raider asked me to kill two innocent women, i couldn't cos i didn't know how to enter combat mode. then he shot me...
Hipolito Hankies Still "Working On" Fallout 2 After Action Report
Chicago, Illinois - October 2, 2008 - Hipolito Hankies, S.A. (OOSE: HIPHANK), the world's 37th best documentarian of fictionalized gaming experiences, will someday update its after action report (AAR) of Carlos Vargas's exploits in the Fallout 2 Video Game. The delay can be attributed to Mr. Vargas's failure to properly recount the Military Base incident in his journal. Other "fallback" excuses include the faltering U.S. economy and stomach gas.
Another reason for the delay is the risk of litigation. Surveillance footage taken from Military Base's security cameras reveal that Vic, one of Vargas's companions, was able to restore power to the first floor of the base. Hipolito Hankies would risk being sopinaed by trade unions and regulatory agencies for showing such work performed by an unbonded and unlicensed electrician. The company's legal representatives at the law firm Sausalito Jaana & Tubbs said, "We advise against releasing any documentary evidence of what happened on the first floor of Military base. [Hipolito Hankies CEO] Hipolito has enough legal problems already. Wait, please don't put that in the press release."
Hipolito promises that the next update will occur before the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election. In order to forestall the election and buy more time, Hipolito Hankies used extortion and and manipulation to force Senator Johnny McCain to choose Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. This may sound confusing to the average reader unless he or she considers the possibility that Governor Palin is a Russian spy. That would explain a lot, actually.
Though the 9.2-centillion dollar AAR industry has been brought low by the credit crunch, Hipolito Hankies assures readers that the Fallout 2 AAR will be completed. To allay stockholders' fears of bankruptcy and scandal, the company may employ cost-saving measures such as switching from Adobe Photoshop to Microsoft Paint or outsourcing the entire AAR to India and calling it "Fallout 2 Goes Bollywood."
For more information, visit your local library.
Last edited by Hipolito on Tue Dec 27, 2011 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
To: person In Cubicle 13 From: Hipolito, Founder And Jefe Of Hipolito Hankies S.A.
I understand that you are the project manager assigned to the Fallout 2 AAR. It has come to my attention that you have not provided an update for this report for quite some time.
First of all, I would like to know why our company is doing an AAR for Fallout 2. I do not remember asking for this to be done. You could have instead AARed the first Fallout (a superior game) by painting the Overseer as a white Sanford ordering Lamont to fetch some junk called the water chip before they lost the business to their mutant creditors. At least that would have had the potential to be funny.
Second, I am very concerned about the image that the protracted delay sends to our shareholders. It makes little sense that we cannot find the main character's journal entry for an entire area in the game. Blaming the missing entry on his low intelligence was a good strategy, but who's looking dumb now?
You are to immediately provide all research of your findings in a presentable format, with a suitable apology. Please handle all complaints if we receive any, and refer all compliments to me.
Also, I'm going to need you to come in this weekend.
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: If you received this e-mail but are not the guy who is supposed to receive this e-mail, you must delete it immediately and without having read a word of it. Otherwise, you will be sued. Forward to 10 people you know.
After weeks of intensive study of the journal, Hipolito Hankies is regrettably forced to conclude that the Chosen One, Carlos Vargas of the Arroyo Nation, elected not to write about his experience at Military Base. We can only assume that this omission was a result of his extremely low intelligence. To provide readers an account of what happened, we have constructed a montage of the base's security camera footage that we were able to restore. We realize that this is not an acceptable substitute for our usual product. We ask for our readers' forgiveness and understanding in this matter and hope they will click the following "Internet link" to enrich their knowledge of Carlos the warrior.