Chesspieceface wrote:I have nearly a complete lack of empathy for people's feelings unless I am intimately involved with them. Its not by choice, but its true.
Ok. Maybe that's
something you should consider cultivating and working on.
This is not some poor wage slave old woman. This was a well dressed, overly assertive 40 something, owner of a very popular cafe, with a ton of makeup, an ice cold stare and a shit attitude. Who clearly can do no wrong herself, or even placate someone.
That makes it ok to dump coffee on her shoes and shatter her mug?
I also feel that your sense of how things are made right is influenced by your spiritual beliefs which differ strongly from mine. My responsibility is to myself and those that I care about, and I am barely able to meet that most days.
I believe the whole "take the stolen candy bar back to the general store, apologize to Mr. Wilson, and do a countervailing good deed to set Karma aright" thing is simple intro-level ethics as taught in the common culture. I assure you that my hard line Christian definitions of judgment and mercy would be much more stern and witch-pressing and acerbic.
The question you should ask yourself is why your sense of ethics allows your joint affirmation of the following propositions:
(a) I have done X.
(b) X resulted in material damage Y.
(c) X resulted in social damage Z.
(d) I believe that I should not have done X.
(e) It is not the case that I should offset material damage Y.
(f) It is not the case that I should offset social damage Z.
This seems to be a summary of your opinion. But it's hard to see how affirmation of (e) and (f) can be made logically and doxastically consistent with (d). The truth of (d) seems to entail a negation, not an affirmation, of (e) and (f). If it does not so entail, then what are we to make of "believe" and "should"?
Instead she got in my face and told me that her rudeness was non existent, which was additionally rude. She was victimizing the customer without an apology.
Irrelevant. Her being vocally and situationally rude warranted your being rude vocally and situationally. You don't get to double-dip and say that her being rude also warranted (1) your dumping coffee, nor that it warranted (2) aiming such coffee at her shoes, nor that it warranted (3) your breaking her mug.
Since her rudeness (brusque tone, non-preferential seating) was offset by your verbal scene and physical intimidation of her, what exactly is the basis for (1), (2), and (3)? If they have no basis, how is it that you can believe you shouldn't have done them but not believe that you should apologize and make restitution?
So in my cosmic checks and balances we're square now.
Weak at math as well as logic?
Even if I thought she deserved an apology from me, I couldn't do it without telling her...
With respect, your underlying problem seems to be solipsism; you don't believe in the independent, equally meritorious actuality of others. You treated her as if she were a minor fictional character in your life understood as a film by and about you. Don't be surprised when things don't break your way.
This stuff happens so often in my life...
I have some very serious issues that are easy to characterize in the way that you have, but I cannot see it your way or I wouldn't be me.
Why not suppose that it's your inability or unwillingness to see things differently that prevents
you from being you? I'm not saying that "I gotta be me" is just excuse-making; but I am saying it's a pretty irrational way to identify and change the states and behaviors that impede you.
I'm sorry that you and others wish to judge my character and self expression so harshly.
This isn't harsh; as I noted, it's kindergarten-level ethics of the sort one would find on episodes of Little House on the Prairie or Dennis the Menace. It's the stuff that most people take for granted as obvious in the rudimentary expression of pluralistic morality.
I am doing the best that I am able to understand where others are coming from... are you?
Yes. I'm rockin' it. BTW, did you do your best to understand where the woman you assaulted was coming from?