The Art of the Donald Trumpocalypse

[El Guapo]

Trump Delivers Anecdote About Small Business Owner Who Isn’t Half The Man He Is.

It really is almost impossible to parody someone like Trump. It's very likely he actually has said something like that.

Yeah it's something that I would believe actually happened. Still amuses me, though.

Trump Tells Iowa Dairy Farmers He Has Cows 500 Times Bigger Than Theirs.

ARNOLDS PARK, IA—Appearing at a campaign event in the early primary state, real estate mogul and presidential candidate Donald Trump told an assembled group of dairy farmers Monday that his cows were 500 times bigger than theirs. “Your cows are small and scrawny, and you should be embarrassed to milk them,” said Trump, adding that each of his cows was the size of “at least” a dozen Cadillacs and had “udders that’ll make your head spin.” “No one raises dairy cows as gigantic or successful as I do; everyone knows that. My cattle are winners, and you people would be lucky to have them graze here.” Chatting with patrons at a diner later in the day, Trump reportedly said the apple pie was a disgrace and that his pies were a mile wide, with a perfect crust that made all the losers jealous.

[LawBeefaroni]

Come on, you guys are all overlooking the obvious choice for Trump's running mate.

"After much consideration with myself (because let's face it, who's smarter than me, amiright?), I have decided to announce what is really, the only suitable running mate for my presidential campaign. It's unconventional, but that's why I'm a winner and all youse are losers. It's why I'm up here behind a podium, and you poor (and I mean that in the financial sense) bums are writing down every word that I say.

Witout furder adoo, instead of having some 2nd rate slob who's around only for the scraps from the winner's table, I have decided that I, Donald Trump, will be the next Vice President of the United States" (*cue "All by Myself")

TRUMP/TRUMP 2016!!

Except it will be "T²O¹⁶" which would coincidentally be the name of his second overpriced vodka offering, this one featuring oxygen isotopes.

[ImLawBoy]

Shrug. I wait for Lawboy to berate me. If he doesn't, I'm good.

That's what I'm here for.

If I had to vote, I'd put morAn in the past due stage, whereas "retard" is still too closely associated with those who have Down's Syndrome to be an acceptable insult.

For what it's worth, while I am sure that moron is no longer used in psychology, I think general usage of the term is simply as meaning "stupid" without any association with mental disabilities (unlike "retard", which is very much associated with mental disabilities).

These two quotes pretty much sum it up (although "retard" is associated with all forms of intellectual disability, and not just with Down Syndrome). Every once in a while someone who desperately wants to keep the word "retard" in their lexicon without guilt, or who reflexively chafes at any mention of PC regardless of context, brings up the etymology of "moron" or "idiot" as justification for its continued use, but I think 99.99% of people can acknowledge that those terms are so far removed from their clinical origins as to make the comparison useless. As for the other .01%, well, God bless 'em.

[LordMortis]

Does that insinuate Dr House was or wasn't being clinically cynical when he called every one an idiot?

[Kraken]

Digressing into political correctness in this thread is so meta....

You're a terrible poster, just posting awful, useless things - just a total loser poster. I could come up with 10 world class posts in the time it takes you to come up with this drivel.

I hope this is a Trump reference that's too meta for me. Because if not, it's on, bitch.

Haven't you ever listened to Trump talking?

That site wants an email address to get in. Sorry, site.

[LordMortis]

That site wants an email address to get in. Sorry, site.

That happens to me at home with that site but not at work. Maybe if you found their cookies and deleted them?

[Moliere]

You've made it when Trump starts calling you names.

[hepcat]

When I'm compiling a list that covers every trait that I believe a true leader should possess, I know that "petulant" is numero uno.

[El Guapo]

I'm definitely adding "get personally insulted by Donald Trump" to my bucket list.

[hepcat]

The host of the next debates should walk out on stage in an Orangutang outfit at the start of the show.

[Zarathud]

If this is true, I volunteer Michael Moore to don the Orangutan suit.

[hepcat]

Well, this is embarrassing. It seems I agree with Trump on something.

Trump said he wants to require employers to pay H-1B workers much more money, which he said would discourage companies from hiring them and boost job prospects for Americans. He also wants to have tech jobs offered to unemployed Americans before they can be filled by workers with H-1B visas.

Employers are supposed to pay a typical wage to anyone hired under a H-1B visa. But in reality, employees on these visas are typically paid 20 to 45% less than U.S. workers who they are are often replacing, said Ron Hira, a Howard University public policy professor who has studied the visa's pay scale.

"I don't think you should eliminate the H1-B program. The problem is it's being abused and it's a source of very cheap labor," said Hira.

[gbasden]

Well, this is embarrassing. It seems I agree with Trump on something.

Trump said he wants to require employers to pay H-1B workers much more money, which he said would discourage companies from hiring them and boost job prospects for Americans. He also wants to have tech jobs offered to unemployed Americans before they can be filled by workers with H-1B visas.

Employers are supposed to pay a typical wage to anyone hired under a H-1B visa. But in reality, employees on these visas are typically paid 20 to 45% less than U.S. workers who they are are often replacing, said Ron Hira, a Howard University public policy professor who has studied the visa's pay scale.

"I don't think you should eliminate the H1-B program. The problem is it's being abused and it's a source of very cheap labor," said Hira.

Shit. Me too.

[LawBeefaroni]

The thing about the H-1B visa program is that corporations love it. It's a huge subsidy for them and corporations make the laws. Trump is tackling this easy target because his selling point is that he's above being beholden to corporate donors, etc. But he's not.

[El Guapo]

If they're supposed to pay a "typical" wage under the H-1B visa program then they should be held to that, and that has the virtue of probably being enforceable without changes to the law.

However, requiring that companies hire citizens before non-citizens lawfully in the country would be very difficult (to show a violation you would presumably have to show that there were equally qualified citizens that the company declined to hire), and would be problematic as a policy and a constitutional matter (because it would involve discriminating in employment decisions against equally-qualified people on the basis of national origin).

[LawBeefaroni]

If they're supposed to pay a "typical" wage under the H-1B visa program then they should be held to that, and that has the virtue of probably being enforceable without changes to the law.

However, requiring that companies hire citizens before non-citizens lawfully in the country would be very difficult (to show a violation you would presumably have to show that there were equally qualified citizens that the company declined to hire), and would be problematic as a policy and a constitutional matter (because it would involve discriminating in employment decisions against equally-qualified people on the basis of national origin).

As always, it's far easier to make promises on the campaign trail than it is to re-write laws at will as President.

[El Guapo]

If they're supposed to pay a "typical" wage under the H-1B visa program then they should be held to that, and that has the virtue of probably being enforceable without changes to the law.

However, requiring that companies hire citizens before non-citizens lawfully in the country would be very difficult (to show a violation you would presumably have to show that there were equally qualified citizens that the company declined to hire), and would be problematic as a policy and a constitutional matter (because it would involve discriminating in employment decisions against equally-qualified people on the basis of national origin).

As always, it's far easier to make promises on the campaign trail than it is to re-write laws at will as President.

In any event, this is really best understood as part of Trump's broader "make sure that the GOP gets no more than 10% of the Hispanic vote in 2016" plan.

[Holman]

In any event, this is really best understood as part of Trump's broader "make sure that the GOP gets no more than 10% of the Hispanic vote in 2016" plan.

You're not thinking Trump HUGE. By the time this is over, he'll be promising to nuke Mexico.

[tgb]

Somewhat OT, but perhaps not, I've been saying for years that if the gubmint really wants to curb illegal immigration from Mexico, they need to go after Motel 6, Denny's, etc. I don't think illegal immigration can ever completely be stopped, but it sure will slow down if the jobs go away.

[Isgrimnur]

WaPo

Behind the swinging doors of restaurant kitchens around the country, things are getting a bit more chaotic. It’s not the sort of thing diners would not have noticed, because it’s happening behind the scenes, out of view. Orders are still coming in, and plates are still coming out. But there’s a growing problem that chefs and restaurateurs are talking about more these days.

Good cooks are getting harder to come by. Not the head kitchen honchos, depicted in Food Network reality shows, who fine-tune menus and orchestrate the dinner rush, but the men and women who are fresh out of culinary school and eager.
...
The glitz and glamour of rising through the ranks in the restaurant industry isn’t what it used to be. Long hours, low pay and a series of other cultural and economic factors have made lower-tier restaurant work a much less desirable path than it once was, leaving many kitchens chronically understaffed.
...
After years of steady inflows of Mexican immigrants, who have proved both eager and talented cooks, the trend is reversing itself. The number of unauthorized immigrants living in the United States has leveled off over the past decade (it peaked eight years ago in 2007). By 2012, net migration to Mexico was already zero, or even negative, meaning that more Mexicans were moving out than moving in.

That’s terrible news for an industry that has relied on the demographic. In 2010, the Bureau of Labor Statistics estimated that 1.4 million out of a total of about 12.7 million workers in the restaurant industry were immigrants. In 2008, the Pew Hispanic Center estimated that about 20 percent of the country’s more than 2.5 million chefs and cooks were undocumented immigrants.

[Jaymann]

Somewhat OT, but perhaps not, I've been saying for years that if the gubmint really wants to curb illegal immigration from Mexico, they need to go after Motel 6, Denny's, etc. I don't think illegal immigration can ever completely be stopped, but it sure will slow down if the jobs go away.

In Japan they have a hotel completely run by robots. $72 per night. In Japan.

[LawBeefaroni]

WaPo

Behind the swinging doors of restaurant kitchens around the country, things are getting a bit more chaotic. It’s not the sort of thing diners would not have noticed, because it’s happening behind the scenes, out of view. Orders are still coming in, and plates are still coming out. But there’s a growing problem that chefs and restaurateurs are talking about more these days.

Good cooks are getting harder to come by. Not the head kitchen honchos, depicted in Food Network reality shows, who fine-tune menus and orchestrate the dinner rush, but the men and women who are fresh out of culinary school and eager.
...
The glitz and glamour of rising through the ranks in the restaurant industry isn’t what it used to be. Long hours, low pay and a series of other cultural and economic factors have made lower-tier restaurant work a much less desirable path than it once was, leaving many kitchens chronically understaffed.
...
After years of steady inflows of Mexican immigrants, who have proved both eager and talented cooks, the trend is reversing itself. The number of unauthorized immigrants living in the United States has leveled off over the past decade (it peaked eight years ago in 2007). By 2012, net migration to Mexico was already zero, or even negative, meaning that more Mexicans were moving out than moving in.

That’s terrible news for an industry that has relied on the demographic. In 2010, the Bureau of Labor Statistics estimated that 1.4 million out of a total of about 12.7 million workers in the restaurant industry were immigrants. In 2008, the Pew Hispanic Center estimated that about 20 percent of the country’s more than 2.5 million chefs and cooks were undocumented immigrants.

A friend of mine is a partner at a restaurant in Manhattan. He's an executive chef who was mentored by Mario Batali and he's spent extensive time overseas honing his craft. But without a doubt, he says, the most useful skill in his arsenal is speaking fluent Spanish. His immigrant kitchen staff work hard, don't quit every 9 months with dreams of being Gordon Ramsey, and don't call off hungover or because they want to go to a concert. They work their asses off, loyally, for 25 or so years and then go back home to live well in retirement.

The restaurant pays $20K/month in rent so it's not like a few bucks in hourly is make or break for them. In fact they pay pretty well. They need an efficient, reliable kitchen far more than they need to save on payroll.

BTW, it's not just "unauthorized" immigrants that are sought after. Legal ones work just as hard.

[tgb]

BTW, it's not just "unauthorized" immigrants that are sought after. Legal ones work just as hard.

I'm not saying they don't. But does anyone (besides Dipshit and his nitwit girlfriend) doubt that the reason most illegals come over is for the jobs?

[hepcat]

Somewhat OT, but perhaps not, I've been saying for years that if the gubmint really wants to curb illegal immigration from Mexico, they need to go after Motel 6, Denny's, etc. I don't think illegal immigration can ever completely be stopped, but it sure will slow down if the jobs go away.

In Japan they have a hotel completely run by robots. $72 per night. In Japan.

But we have a rockier past with Mexico than we do Cybertron.

[El Guapo]

Somewhat OT, but perhaps not, I've been saying for years that if the gubmint really wants to curb illegal immigration from Mexico, they need to go after Motel 6, Denny's, etc. I don't think illegal immigration can ever completely be stopped, but it sure will slow down if the jobs go away.

In Japan they have a hotel completely run by robots. $72 per night. In Japan.

Earthquake Sets Japan Back To 2147

TOKYO—Japanese government officials confirmed Monday that the damage wrought on Japan's national infrastructure by the July 16th earthquake—particularly on the country's protective force field, quantum teleportation system, zero-point fusion energy broadcasting grid, and psychodynamic communications network—was severe enough to set the technologically advanced island nation back approximately 300 years to a primitive mid-22nd-century state of existence.

"Japan finds itself in crisis, with our society and culture temporarily reverting to a pre-cyberunification era," said Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe, communicating non-telekinetically for the first time in his nearly 150 years of post-cryogenic life. "Though many citizens have been limited to algorithm-based emotion detection, neutron baths, speed limits below the speed of light, and other barbaric inconveniences for over a week now, I promise we will pull through."

[LawBeefaroni]

BTW, it's not just "unauthorized" immigrants that are sought after. Legal ones work just as hard.

I'm not saying they don't. But does anyone (besides Dipshit and his nitwit girlfriend) doubt that the reason most illegals come over is for the jobs?

That was more aimed at the article. It was talking about immigrant cooks and "unauthorized" immigrants almost interchangeably.

[Jeff V]

BTW, it's not just "unauthorized" immigrants that are sought after. Legal ones work just as hard.

I'm not saying they don't. But does anyone (besides Dipshit and his nitwit girlfriend) doubt that the reason most illegals come over is for the jobs?

And the raping. Because someone has to be doing the raping.

[GreenGoo]

BTW, it's not just "unauthorized" immigrants that are sought after. Legal ones work just as hard.

I'm not saying they don't. But does anyone (besides Dipshit and his nitwit girlfriend) doubt that the reason most illegals come over is for the jobs?

And the raping. Because someone has to be doing the raping.

It's not like Cosby hasn't been holding up America's efforts in this field.

[Jolor]

BTW, it's not just "unauthorized" immigrants that are sought after. Legal ones work just as hard.

I'm not saying they don't. But does anyone (besides Dipshit and his nitwit girlfriend) doubt that the reason most illegals come over is for the jobs?

And the raping. Because someone has to be doing the raping.

It's not like Cosby hasn't been holding up America's efforts in this field.

Who is, of course, Mexican on his illegally immigrated grandmother's side.

[Isgrimnur]

Trump attacks the 14th Amendment.

If the Constitution says those born in the United States are citizens of the United States, what exactly does Trump intend to do about it? Last night, as Politico reported, the answer came into sharper focus.

Under the 14th Amendment, [Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly] told Trump on “The O’Reilly Factor,” mass deportations of so-called birthright citizens cannot happen.

Trump disagreed, and said that “many lawyers are saying that’s not the way it is in terms of this.”

As ridiculous as this may seem, don’t just roll your eyes at this and move on. Trump’s wrong, but his argument is poised to become a lot more common.

Indeed, many assumed that Trump envisions a constitutional amendment to end birthright citizenship. He does not. What Trump actually has in mind is a court fight in which he and his lawyers challenge the legality of constitutional language.
...
There’s an apparent contradiction at the heart of Trump’s immigration plan: he says he’d never break up a family, but he also says literally every undocumented immigrant must be rounded up and deported. Since some undocumented parents have U.S.-born children, those tenets are in conflict: a Trump administration would either separate children from their families or it would end up deporting American citizens.

Except, Trump rejects the contradiction, because as far as he’s concerned, people born in the United States aren’t necessarily citizens of the United States. From the Politico piece:

“What happens is, they’re in Mexico, they’re going to have a baby, they move over here for a couple of days, they have the baby,” Trump said, telling O’Reilly that the lawyers said, “It’s not going to hold up in court, it’s going to have to be tested.”

The GOP candidate went on to say “some very, very good lawyers” – he didn’t name any – agree with Trump that some people born in the United States “do not have American citizenship,” even if the 14th Amendment says otherwise.

[Defiant]

TIL (thanks to the whole citizenship discussion): While the Western Hemisphere (for the most part) offers citizenship based on where you were born, it's pretty rare for the rest of the world

[Holman]

Trump attacks the 14th Amendment.

And so far this week we've seen Jindal, Graham, Carson, Christie, and a host of right-wing pundits falling into line.

Was the GOP really intending to make 2016 the anti-immigrant campaign, or is this just the power of Trump?

[El Guapo]

To be clear, there is zero ambiguity about whether children born in the United States are U.S. citizens regardless of the circumstances of their birth or the status of their parents.

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.

You would have to argue that a child born in the U.S. is somehow not "subject to the jurisdiction" of the United States, but I don't see how that could be, unless something like the kid was named as a diplomat while they were in the process of being born. Unless Trump thinks that a constitutional amendment can somehow be unconstitutional.

[El Guapo]

Trump attacks the 14th Amendment.

And so far this week we've seen Jindal, Graham, Carson, Christie, and a host of right-wing pundits falling into line.

Was the GOP really intending to make 2016 the anti-immigrant campaign, or is this just the power of Trump?

Oh, they didn't want this at all. The party leadership plan after losing the 2012 presidential election was to essentially fold on immigration and pass some type of comprehensive immigration bill (including some type of pathway to citizenship) specifically in order to take this issue off the table for the 2016 election and have a plausible path to getting a decent share of the Hispanic vote. And the Senate did pass such a bill, it's just that it was of course killed by the crazies in the GOP house.

In this way Trump is kind of the GOP leadership's post-2012 election nightmares manifested in the flesh. Although once they failed to pass immigration reform some type of nativist turn was inevitable in the GOP primary even without Trump (in the 2012 primaries candidates had to take turns talking tough on immigration), it's just that Trump can't talk about this (or anything else) without sounding like a lunatic.

[Defiant]

You would have to argue that a child born in the U.S. is somehow not "subject to the jurisdiction" of the United States, but I don't see how that could be, unless something like the kid was named as a diplomat while they were in the process of being born.

Just to be clear, children born in the US to foreign parents where at least one of those parents is a diplomat would not be US citizens.

[Zarathud]

What really pisses me off is that after planning to challenge the 14th Amendment, Trump will then turn around and claim to defend the Constitution and the founding principles.

[El Guapo]

You would have to argue that a child born in the U.S. is somehow not "subject to the jurisdiction" of the United States, but I don't see how that could be, unless something like the kid was named as a diplomat while they were in the process of being born.

Just to be clear, children born in the US to foreign parents where at least one of those parents is a diplomat would not be US citizens.

This is true (as I understand diplomatic immunity). Though of course Trump is not talking about deporting the children of diplomats (who of course could not be deported anyway as long as they are diplomats).

[El Guapo]

What really pisses me off is that after planning to challenge the 14th Amendment, Trump will then turn around and claim to defend the Constitution and the founding principles.

It's just facially ridiculous. It can't be done - there's just no basis for it at all, notwithstanding his evident consultations with "many lawyers". It's like Trump calling for invading Pluto.

[hepcat]

....and just like that, I'm back to having no doubt whatsoever that Trump is a ridiculous candidate.

[PLW]

If they're supposed to pay a "typical" wage under the H-1B visa program then they should be held to that, and that has the virtue of probably being enforceable without changes to the law.

However, requiring that companies hire citizens before non-citizens lawfully in the country would be very difficult (to show a violation you would presumably have to show that there were equally qualified citizens that the company declined to hire), and would be problematic as a policy and a constitutional matter (because it would involve discriminating in employment decisions against equally-qualified people on the basis of national origin).

A better way to make it work would be to quit tying the H1B to a specific employer, at least beyond some period. Then, market competition should drive up their wages to the efficient level.