[Movie] Madame Web

[Smoove_B]

I guess we didn't have a thread. Apologies to those that are done with super hero movies.

[hepcat]

Man, I hope this is as good as the Elektra movie!

Side note: Isn't Madame Web a bit older in the comics...and a bit less able to walk/see? I understand that only movies with hot young women will get butts in seats, but it would have been nice for them to stick a little closer to the source. In addition, it would have pissed off right wing folks even more.

edit: looking it up, it appears this movie is about a later Madame Web. Obviously they realized that even comics need to concentrate on hot young women if they want teenage boys (and creepy middle aged dudes) to buy their comics.

[Daehawk]

Who ya callin creepy bud?

I have no idea what that is and that trailer gave me a headache just trying to figure it out as it went along. I was left not knowing what I just watched lol.

[AWS260]

That is Dakota Johnson, who is 34, which I guess counts as a hot young woman when you're as old as we are.

[Isgrimnur]

Daughter of actors Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith

[hepcat]

And definitely still in the hot young woman category. 40 is when Hollywood starts discriminating for women, I believe.

[AWS260]

This is a pretty enjoyable take on the trailer.

Watching something like Venom (in which a key Spider-Man villain just sort of wandered around wondering what to do without Spider-Man) felt like the logical end point of capitalism. Watching Morbius (in which a Spider-Man villain that nobody had heard of tried to justify his own existence for an hour and a half), meanwhile, felt like watching capitalism drive itself off a cliff in a burning truck. No good could ever come of the whole sorry project.

But now I’ve changed my mind, because now I have watched the trailer for Madame Web – the latest instalment in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe – and now I think I get it. The whole thing is meant to be bad. That’s the only logical explanation for any of this.

***

We now find ourselves in a position where nobody on Earth will go to see Madame Web in the hope that it will be a good film. They’ll go to see it drunk with their friends, just so that they can ironically whoop when Dakota Johnson says “he was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died”.

[GreenGoo]

And definitely still in the hot young woman category. 40 is when Hollywood starts discriminating for women, I believe.

I think Jamie Lee Curtis is on record claiming the cut off is 35 (I think she said this decades ago). Which seems ironic given her seemingly ageless beauty.

[Anonymous Bosch]

This is a pretty enjoyable take on the trailer.

Watching something like Venom (in which a key Spider-Man villain just sort of wandered around wondering what to do without Spider-Man) felt like the logical end point of capitalism. Watching Morbius (in which a Spider-Man villain that nobody had heard of tried to justify his own existence for an hour and a half), meanwhile, felt like watching capitalism drive itself off a cliff in a burning truck. No good could ever come of the whole sorry project.

But now I’ve changed my mind, because now I have watched the trailer for Madame Web – the latest instalment in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe – and now I think I get it. The whole thing is meant to be bad. That’s the only logical explanation for any of this.

***

We now find ourselves in a position where nobody on Earth will go to see Madame Web in the hope that it will be a good film. They’ll go to see it drunk with their friends, just so that they can ironically whoop when Dakota Johnson says “he was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died”.

[Skinypupy]

I know nothing about comics and had literally never heard "Madame Web" until this thread. I mostly just came away from that trailer...confused.

So she's a female pseudo Spider Man but has psychic and possibly time travel abilities? And she's fighting some dude who has a suit like Spider Man but isn't him? And she's going to win through the magic of girl power from the ragtag group of plucky teens?

I don't really know and don't think I care enough to find out, tbh.

[hepcat]

My takeaways after finally watching the trailer:

1) Dakota Johnson's voice over narration may be the best "I'm getting a pay check, but it's not enough to make me act for this" example I've heard this year.

2) I don't understand the connection to her mommy researching arachnids in the Amazon. Are spiders from the Amazon responsible for her powers? It would make sense, I guess. Spiders are well known for their clairvoyance and telepathy.

3) I think Dakota accidentally acted for a few minutes right around the middle of the trailer. But then she remembered what she was getting paid and stopped.

4) If you include a Billy Eilish song in your trailer, there's a 95 percent chance I'm going to tune out almost immediately.

5) Did I say 95? I meant 100.

6) So....Groundhog Day?

But if this generates something even 1/10th as funny as this, I'm okay with it

[Victoria Raverna]

I know nothing about comics and had literally never heard "Madame Web" until this thread. I mostly just came away from that trailer...confused.

So she's a female pseudo Spider Man but has psychic and possibly time travel abilities? And she's fighting some dude who has a suit like Spider Man but isn't him? And she's going to win through the magic of girl power from the ragtag group of plucky teens?

I don't really know and don't think I care enough to find out, tbh.

Not like Spider-Man. More like an old blind and paralyzed woman that can see the future and telepathic in the comics. The "Spider-Man" is Ezekiel Sims, someone that got the superpower using rituals to gain power from Spider-Totem instead of being bite by a radioactive spider.

[hepcat]

I wish they were going with the older, blinder, paralyzed-er version. Would probably be more interesting than this.

[Smoove_B]

I'm not entirely familiar with the story, but after reading some comments online there was speculation that (spoilers)

Spoiler:

That this will allow the current version of Venom (aka movie version, Tom Hardy) to fight this version of evil Spider-Man. This assumes Venom 3 would somehow span a Spider-Man mutliverse plotline, having Venom perhaps dealing with both MCU Spider-Man and the evil Spider-Man from this movie.

Maybe it's not that complicated or interconnected and this movie is just going to be a a one shot...but that doesn't feel right.

[hepcat]

Sony needs to get some new blood. The Venom movies were uninspired and derivative and the Morbius movie's only strength were the memes it generated based on how bad it was. The new Kraven movie looks to be about the same, but that's just going by the trailer, so I'm making that assumption based on a trailer and their track record so far.

It's frustrating because they were one of the first to get it right with Raimi's Spiderman films. The second of which I still put out there as one of the top 5 superhero films ever made.

[Blackhawk]

It's frustrating because they were one of the first to get it right with Raimi's Spiderman films. The second of which I still put out there as one of the top 5 superhero films ever made.

How many of the people actively involved in those are still with them after 20 years?

[hepcat]

No idea. Just saying they got it right once. Sucks they can’t look at that history and figure out the formula again.

[Blackhawk]

Because the formula didn't lead to an MCU-style connected universe/money factory! And a universe is what all the cool kids are doing! The mummy is doing it. Gandalf is doing it. Even Godzilla is doing it!

[hepcat]

Gandalf and the Mummy aren't in a shared universe...sadly.

p.s. i'm hearing good things about the Monarch based Godzilla/giant monsters show on Apple.

[Blackhawk]

Gandalf and the Mummy aren't in a shared universe...sadly.

For Gandalf, Amazon seems to be making the attempt. For the mummy... no - not after they tried to launch a cinematic universe with that monstrosity starring Tom Cruise.

[hepcat]

Guillermo del Toro has been making an attempt to create a classic monster universe, apparently. Next up will be his Frankenstein, but his Shape of Water was basically Creature from the Black Lagoon with an even more sympathetic creature.

[Pyperkub]

Sony needs to get some new blood. The Venom movies were uninspired and derivative and the Morbius movie's only strength were the memes it generated based on how bad it was. The new Kraven movie looks to be about the same, but that's just going by the trailer, so I'm making that assumption based on a trailer and their track record so far.

It's frustrating because they were one of the first to get it right with Raimi's Spiderman films. The second of which I still put out there as one of the top 5 superhero films ever made.

TBH, it's important to remember that it is Sony who destroyed the Raime Spiderman franchise by forcing Venom into a movie Raime had zero intention of including.

[hepcat]

True that.

[Punisher]

I'm not entirely familiar with the story, but after reading some comments online there was speculation that (spoilers)

Spoiler:

That this will allow the current version of Venom (aka movie version, Tom Hardy) to fight this version of evil Spider-Man. This assumes Venom 3 would somehow span a Spider-Man mutliverse plotline, having Venom perhaps dealing with both MCU Spider-Man and the evil Spider-Man from this movie.

Maybe it's not that complicated or interconnected and this movie is just going to be a a one shot...but that doesn't feel right.

Not sure why it's spoilered as it's just guesswork but just in case.

Spoiler:

I tjink I read that the plan was to make the venom universe the one with Andrew Garfields Spider-Man. Possibly leadup to his own 3rd movie with the current Venom in it. This could potentially lead to cameos or actual big plot points in the Kang movie whete they cross over to the MCU.
Or they use the piece of the symbiote left ny Venom in the last SM movie to turn Tom Holland into his own Venom. In this case I think the original plan was have Andrew get his 3rdovie as SM/Venom, then during the Kang movies, Tom becomess Venmo and Andrew helps him control and/or remove the symbiote.

These ate all old rumors though. No idea if any of this stuck. I think tjey go back to pre Covid but could be wrong. But if so, Covid and the recent strikes probably broke any hard plans.

[Punisher]

2) I don't understand the connection to her mommy researching arachnids in the Amazon. Are spiders from the Amazon responsible for her powers? It would make sense, I guess. Spiders are well known for their clairvoyance and telepathy.

I believe the proper and official term is Peter Tingle.

[Blackhawk]

They have lots of options. Garfield would probably go over well, if he chooses to do so. If they recast Spider-Man, they would face some ugly comparisons to Tom Holland, which could work against them. Or they could just go with a completely different Spider-Man and bring in Miles Morales or maybe even Gwen Stacy. The world is certainly in a good place to accept those characters right now, while it might not have worked prior to the Spider-Verse films. Or they could do something interesting - grab Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst and do Mayday Parker (IE - Spider-Girl) with Toby as dad/mentor.

[hepcat]

2) I don't understand the connection to her mommy researching arachnids in the Amazon. Are spiders from the Amazon responsible for her powers? It would make sense, I guess. Spiders are well known for their clairvoyance and telepathy.

I believe the proper and official term is Peter Tingle.

You know, I actually forgot about Spidey Sense. Good point.

[Blackhawk]

I know that Spidey's Peter tingle is mystical in nature, a link to the 'web' that connects the universe, which is how they explain a spider giving him precognition. I'm guessing that that aspect of the power is just stronger for her.

[EvilHomer3k]

My takeaways after finally watching the trailer:

1) Dakota Johnson's voice over narration may be the best "I'm getting a pay check, but it's not enough to make me act for this" example I've heard this year.

2) I don't understand the connection to her mommy researching arachnids in the Amazon. Are spiders from the Amazon responsible for her powers? It would make sense, I guess. Spiders are well known for their clairvoyance and telepathy.

3) I think Dakota accidentally acted for a few minutes right around the middle of the trailer. But then she remembered what she was getting paid and stopped.

4) If you include a Billy Eilish song in your trailer, there's a 95 percent chance I'm going to tune out almost immediately.

5) Did I say 95? I meant 100.

6) So....Groundhog Day?

But if this generates something even 1/10th as funny as this, I'm okay with it

I feel the same way about Dakota Johnson as you do about Billie Eilish songs. Much of that comes from my wife making me watch those trashy movies though some comes from her not liking the kind of movies she's in. I suppose Peanut Butter Falcon was decent as was Bad TImes at the El Royale but Bad Times had lots of other much more interesting people in it. Anyway, I just don't care for her and I'm dubious about her acting skills in the first place.

[hepcat]

Oh, I completely agree with you. She's like the male Mark Wahlberg when it comes to acting. If she ever expressed an emotion in anything, I'd be shocked.

[Blackhawk]

My experience with her acting is limited to (checks IMDB)... this trailer.

[hepcat]

Like you don't own and regularly watch all the 50 Shades of Grey movies.

[Blackhawk]

Like you don't own and regularly watch all the 50 Shades of Grey movies.

I have the internet. Why would I bother with Skinemax?

[hepcat]

One caveat is that I actually liked her in the remake of Suspiria. But her character was not really supposed to do much.

[gilraen]

She was very good in The Peanut Butter Falcon.

[hepcat]

And we have a contender for Morbius’ crown as the worst Sony superhero film at a 14 percent critic rating.

Oof…no thanks. Sony needs to just admit they couldn’t make a good superhero film post Raimi if their life depended on it.

[Smoove_B]

I'd seen some commentary in one of the reviews that she potentially agreed to do it because they pitched it as being part of the MCU. I hope she fires her agents for glossing over the fact that it was a Sony production.

[hepcat]

Offer enough money and some folks would say yes to Teletubbies vs Aliens.

However, I’m still anxiously looking forward to this movie generating something as great as It’s Morbin’ Time.

[msteelers]

I'd seen some commentary in one of the reviews that she potentially agreed to do it because they pitched it as being part of the MCU. I hope she fires her agents for glossing over the fact that it was a Sony production.

I heard she fired her management team right after the trailer dropped.

[Freyland]

Offer enough money and some folks would say yes to Teletubbies vs Aliens.

I'm willing to speak gibberish.