Financial Questions Part 1 of 2

[Blackhawk]

You have to start with a “proven” number — either at the end or a beginning. If the numbers are off, you can check if the discrepancy is close to divisible by a whole number times a known recurring expense/income (especially if it’s a known problem)— if you’re off $2,000 and rent is $600, then it could be off by $200 and 3 missing rent withdrawals. If you can find the big numbers, you can often find the gaps of smaller ones.

I have absolutely no clue at this point when I could call the number 'proven', as I've come to doubt my earlier assertions that this is all recent. My system was too flawed. It's just as likely that what I thought was accurate a decade ago was already off, and my noticing it now just represents an acceleration combined with accumulation, not a new incident. The account is 16 years old. For all I know it's 16 years of minor discrepancies. In that kind of timeframe, a few uncashed checks and the kind of minor error that everyone makes once every couple of months could have just added up.

That's why my plan now is to find a new accounting method (and tool), spend a few weeks learning it (the advantage here is that the error is a big positive number, so there isn't really any time pressure once I move a little out to stay below the limit), and then open the new account as I mentioned above:

1. Open a new checking account with an amount of the overage that I think is safe (maybe $500.)
2. Move all direct deposits to the new account, and move all connected payments (like utilities) to the new account.
3. Don't touch the old account. For the first couple of months, monitor to make sure that there are no connected services that I missed, and move them to the new account as well.
4. After six months, close the old account and record any remaining balance as a deposit.

[Isgrimnur]

You can always ask the bank to refund overdraft fees, especially if you've been a long-time customer.

[Isgrimnur]

Also, you might be able to request that they provide older financial statements, though they might want to charge for the privilege, which, of course, you can also plead poverty and ask them to waive.

[Blackhawk]

If the family doesn’t pay attention, you’re doing a Herculean task.

The family doesn't pay attention, and I've been stressing and arguing about it for years. I've also addressed it. I pushed Michelle to open her own account and moved her budget off of my account, including both the debit and credit cards (like I said, she was unknowingly spending my budget every month, eating out two or three times a week while I was eating peanut butter the same number of times to cut costs.) Ian doesn't spend much money, and he's nervous about carrying a bank or credit card, so he prefers to just buy himself gift cards that can be safely lost (although he never has.) Caiden is good about bringing receipts for what he spends.

It helps considerably that with Michelle off of my account, and no longer using my credit card, the number of actual transactions has been cut by probably 80%. That was a surprising amount of the reason we were going through so much money over the past few years. She would never blow $180/month on soft drinks, but she'd happily buy a soft drink from the gas station, which is only $3. Twice a day. For a month. Which is $180. It was never deliberate, and I explained it to her a hundred times and asked her to stop. She knew that $180 was too much, but with her dyscalculia, it was only ever $3.

I really should have found a way to bring that to an end, but she's an adult, and by that point we weren't talking so much as arguing. I didn't have a way to force anything on her, not when she made the majority of the money.

But it's no longer an issue.

[Blackhawk]

You can always ask the bank to refund overdraft fees, especially if you've been a long-time customer.

There are no overdraft fees. Like I said earlier (in this mess of a thread), I haven't bounced a check since 1995 (and even that one wasn't my fault - I was mid-divorce, and first soon-to-be-ex-wife opened her own bank account and drained the joint one without telling me.)

Also, you might be able to request that they provide older financial statements, though they might want to charge for the privilege, which, of course, you can also plead poverty and ask them to waive.

I did, before I posted here. The first thing I did was go through everything I have. The second was to go looking for older records. The first three back statements are free. After that, it's $5 per monthly statement. Even with them only keeping 7 years of records, that's ~$200+ for the ones I don't have access to.

In the future (another lesson learned), I'm going to be downloading and archiving the monthly e-statement they provide. I wasn't aware that they only kept a few years worth available online.

[Isgrimnur]

Apologies. Given how fast this thread populated, I did not review it in its entirety.

[Blackhawk]

Apologies. Given how fast this thread populated, I did not review it in its entirety.

I don't blame you. This thread has been a headache (although, I think, a necessary headache.)

[GreenGoo]

Writing her a money order or cashiers check would solve your "check hoarding" dilemma for the future, for just a few extra bucks.
I don't suppose you can just ask her which of your checks she is still sitting on?

Many banks in Canada offer this service for free (even on fee free accounts). ymmv in the states, and depending on the account type.

[Blackhawk]

Writing her a money order or cashiers check would solve your "check hoarding" dilemma for the future, for just a few extra bucks.
I don't suppose you can just ask her which of your checks she is still sitting on?

Many banks in Canada offer this service for free (even on fee free accounts). ymmv in the states, and depending on the account type.

Money orders are a no-go for me. The local banks only offer it to customers, and my bank (which is not local) doesn't have an online option for them. I'd have to make the 60-mile round trip to pick them up.

That's why I'm going to be looking into how their bill pay system works. From what I've heard elsewhere, it can be set up to send her a physical check that works like a cashier's check (it's withdrawn immediately upon being sent, not when she cashes it.)

[Anonymous Bosch]

Writing her a money order or cashiers check would solve your "check hoarding" dilemma for the future, for just a few extra bucks.
I don't suppose you can just ask her which of your checks she is still sitting on?

Many banks in Canada offer this service for free (even on fee free accounts). ymmv in the states, and depending on the account type.

Money orders are a no-go for me. The local banks only offer it to customers, and my bank (which is not local) doesn't have an online option for them. I'd have to make the 60-mile round trip to pick them up.

That's why I'm going to be looking into how their bill pay system works. From what I've heard elsewhere, it can be set up to send her a physical check that works like a cashier's check (it's withdrawn immediately upon being sent, not when she cashes it.)

In terms of eliminating complications stemming from your cheque-hoarding elderly landlady, why not simply buy a USPS money order with cash at your local post office when paying your rent?

USPS money orders only cost $2.00 for dollar amounts under $500.00, and $2.90 for dollar amounts between $500.01 and $1,000.00, as shown here. And as isolated as your location may well be, I very much doubt you'd need to drive a lengthy round trip to reach your local post office. Considering the stress and hassle you're clearly already struggling to contend with in terms of accurately tracking your expenses (as well as those of the rest of your family), this seems like a bargain price for completely eliminating any further exasperation over uncashed cheques sent to your landlady.

[Daehawk]

Uncashed checks floating around in the wild are a pain in the ass. They always come back to bite you. I know this.

[LawBeefaroni]

You need to agree to some sort of settlement with the landlord. She can't keep coming to you with 5-year old checks.

Ask what she has hoarded, if anything. Record all the dates, reconcile where you can, and pay off what is legit. Get it settled in writing (get legal counsel if you can, notary at the very least). Once that's done, restart the ledger using current bank balance(s).

Keeping a proper ledger going forward will avoid any future issues with uncashed checks.

I'd recommend new spreadsheet btw. Using one that isn't supported and where you can't manage the underlying formulas is recipe for more issues.

[Blackhawk]

In terms of eliminating complications stemming from your cheque-hoarding elderly landlady, why not simply buy a USPS money order with cash at your local post office when paying your rent?

Because if it works the way I have been told it does, it doesn't cost extra or involve a trip across town. I can just hit the 'send' button while I'm doing the bills and it'll be taken care of.

[Blackhawk]

You need to agree to some sort of settlement with the landlord. She can't keep coming to you with 5-year old checks.

Ask what she has hoarded, if anything. Record all the dates, reconcile where you can, and pay off what is legit. Get it settled in writing (get legal counsel if you can, notary at the very least). Once that's done, restart the ledger using current bank balance(s).

I don't have access to a a full list of what has been cashed and what has not. I've got two years out of sixteen. And she's not going to know - if there are any, they're likely scattered all over her house. And, as mentioned, while there may be a few outstanding, I'm pretty sure they're not the core issue here. They were just one issue that made it harder for me to recognize other issues, mostly because my system of accounting was flawed.

I'd recommend new spreadsheet btw. Using one that isn't supported and where you can't manage the underlying formulas is recipe for more issues.

I'm already planning on a new one. Although I won't be tinkering with the underlying formulas. I haven't got the faintest idea how they work, how to read them, or how to write them. I'm likely to change something that causes more problems than it solves.

[Anonymous Bosch]

In terms of eliminating complications stemming from your cheque-hoarding elderly landlady, why not simply buy a USPS money order with cash at your local post office when paying your rent?

Because if it works the way I have been told it does, it doesn't cost extra or involve a trip across town. I can just hit the 'send' button while I'm doing the bills and it'll be taken care of.

Fair enough. But if not, I'd strongly recommend switching to paying your rent via USPS money order as Plan B for preserving your sanity.