useless ho-bag alert

Hell's Taco · Post by **Hell's Taco** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:41 am

ug. Paris Hilton hosting Saturday Night Live. This is going to be fugging horrible. Even more horrible than SNL usually is. Impossible you say? Just watch.

Crowley · Post by **Crowley** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:05 am

Fingers crossed for a "wardrobe malfunction".

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:08 am

Call me crazy but this has been one of the better SNL's I've seen in some time. And Paris has done surprisingly well.

Suitably Ironic Moniker · Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:21 am

Why is she even famous?!?!?!?

I don't understand how she has gotten this far as a celebrity. She's not that attractive, has no discernable talents or accomplishments and has the presence of a wet paper bag. So she has money, I'll bet there are a lot more talented, attractive and rich people out there. Please go away, Paris.

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:21 am

I don't understand how she has gotten this far as a celebrity.

Two words. Sex tape.

Hell's Taco · Post by **Hell's Taco** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:24 am

Exactly. You see I gave 'em the old mojo-reverse-jinx. So this will be the best show ever.

The geek phone sex was pretty funny. (I didn't get a little turned on at all. Not at all.)

And although I would probably punch Paris in the throat the first time she said "That's Hot" in my presence (never hit women kids), seeing her little pink panties every time her dress flipped up wasn't bad.

Coskesh · Post by **Coskesh** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:36 am

Man, I read somewhere that she is getting/charging $200k for appearances/speaking.

Hope that comes with some oral.

SuperHiro · Post by **SuperHiro** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:28 am

Dude, when Paris was doing the "Hot Dr. Who"... the audience was stone-faced. I didn't even hear a snicker.

Hell's Taco · Post by **Hell's Taco** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 5:21 am

When Horatio was giving the Vulcan nerve pinch to himself (rimshot), the audience was laughing pretty decently. And you can't beat Tina Fey dressed as Princess Leia.

Obviously, any part where Paris had to speak was the opposite of funny (or as I like to call it Louie-Anderson-funny). Was there any doubt that the billionaire whore-ess was going to have about the same comic timing as Heinrich Himmler.
(Although that's not really fair to Heiny, as that was one funnyass Nazi. Like that time when actual hot, refreshing water came out of the showers instead of the usual hydrogen cyanide. Now that was hilarious. But then they pumped the deadly gas back in and it was much less funny. It was indeed Louie-Anderson-funny.)

Quipp · Post by **Quipp** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 9:07 am

...seeing her little pink panties every time her dress flipped up wasn't bad.

You so want to bang this useless skank don't you?

And you say my standards are low.

BTW, you did TiVo this like I asked, right?

Hell's Taco · Post by **Hell's Taco** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 1:48 am

Hope you're happy my brutha. I saw that picture and before I could stop myself, THROAT PUNCH. Now you will have to buy a new monitor. And I think I broke my hand. Luckly not the hand that I use the most *wink*.

If you know what I mean.

nudge. nudge.

I'm talking about wankin' off.

Asharak · Post by **Asharak** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 4:10 pm

Hell's Taco, I'm not quite sure what you're getting at... could you explain it a little better?

- Ash