I HIGHLY reccomend Airhogs planes for that. They are VERY durable and fly very easily. I've nosedived the thing into my driveway many times with very little or no damage. They work off 6AA's in the transmitter (the transmitter charges a LiPo in the receiver). The AeroAce Bi-Plane (two wings on top of each other) is the easiest (and one of the better) planes to fly since it flies fairly slow.
The only downside to these planes is they need little to no wind to fly but that's true of most backyard fliers.
The Jet is good and the monoplane (green belly) is also good but these are a little harder to fly since they are faster and more aerodynamic than the biplane. They come in 3 channels A, B, C. I have my 4 year old fly one with me and what I do is giver her either the "left and right" or "up and down" while I control the other axis. Otherwise I think it would be a bit much for her .
Yeah I have the set of IR controlled RC helis that can shoot each other...my 4 year old can fly those. He's done okay with my Stormlauncher and Dragonfly as well. (Avoid the dinosaur orinthopter though, it can't really fly)
Also the dragonfly one isn't really useful indoors, so if it's indoors go for the IR based RC Helis (and those are ONLY indoors).