[Gushing Parents] Tell me your cute kid stories

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:20 pm

YellowKing wrote:Since I'm stuck here at work for the storm I tried Facetiming my family for the first time. My 2 year old was utterly puzzled by being able to see me in the phone. So just playing around I said, "Help! I'm trapped in the phone!"

He gets this look of terror on his face and starts shouting, "DADDY, OUT! DADDY, OUT!" It took my wife several minutes to get him calmed down.

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:32 pm

YellowKing wrote:Since I'm stuck here at work for the storm I tried Facetiming my family for the first time. My 2 year old was utterly puzzled by being able to see me in the phone. So just playing around I said, "Help! I'm trapped in the phone!"

He gets this look of terror on his face and starts shouting, "DADDY, OUT! DADDY, OUT!" It took my wife several minutes to get him calmed down.

That is fantastic.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Feb 07, 2014 6:48 pm

I think this is self explanatory:

The answer from me was, "no." The response from her was, "Ok, we can try again later when you think about it some more."

Markstrink · Post by **Markstrink** » Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:52 pm

Saw kaya (4.11) on valentines day. Halfway through, sitting in burger kings play scape area..

Kaya: daddy I want me to be a teenager.
Me: what?! Why?!
Kaya: because I want to
Me: please, not yet. Why do you want to be a teenager?
Kaya: because I want to be able to hold someone up ( arms raised above her head) and throw them in the air and catch them.
Me: (sigh of relief) OH! You mean a cheerleader!
Kaya: yea! Cheerleader.

Kurth · Post by **Kurth** » Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:56 pm

My eight year old daughter has lice.

That's it. I'm out.

Markstrink · Post by **Markstrink** » Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:06 pm

Kurth wrote:My eight year old daughter has lice.

That's it. I'm out.

Best home remedy ever and way way cheaper than the lice stuff you buy. Oil your hair up with vegetable oil let it sit wrapped on your head for like 10 minutes and rinse with white vinegar. The oil helps release the eggs and suffocates the lice. The vinegar removes the eggs. And love. You have to do it a few times. But way cheaper than 20 dollar one time lice treatment. Especially when there at least three people in the house.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:43 pm

My three year old daughter...

Zoe: What's your favorite color, daddy?
Me: Oh, probably green.
Zoe: My favorite colors are pink and purple. and glitter.

Unagi · Post by **Unagi** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:54 pm

LawBeefaroni wrote:I think this is self explanatory:

I keep meaning to reply to this picture...

I think that would make the greatest album cover. Probably for a girl band, but Jane's Addiction could have used it to great affect as well.

coopasonic · Post by **coopasonic** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:14 pm

For her band in 20 years.

A nonny mouse · Post by **A nonny mouse** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:45 pm

LawBeefaroni wrote:I think this is self explanatory:

The answer from me was, "no." The response from her was, "Ok, we can try again later when you think about it some more."

you said no to a Mosrite? I can't even find those around here. at least she wasn't pointing at an Ibanez or something.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Thu Feb 27, 2014 11:06 pm

Did you get her a tweeting bird there instead? Deflect, deflect, deflect.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:20 am

A nonny mouse wrote: you said no to a Mosrite? I can't even find those around here. at least she wasn't pointing at an Ibanez or something.

No idea what I said no to. All I know is that some of the bottom shelf guitars she was picking at had price tags that made my eyes hurt. I just assumed the stuff hanging up that high must have been the big time. It's a pretty amazing store, a friend of mine who plays had us meet him there. Lots of fun. And we never even made it to the drum room.

Her: "There's a drum room?"
Me: "Well, it's more like another store next door, but yeah."
"Can we go next time?"
"Sure."
"But if they don't have drums that I can reach with my feet I'm just going to play guitar. Some places don't have drums for kids and those are mean places."

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Fri Feb 28, 2014 1:32 am

I've been congested for the past couple weeks. Yesterday morning I mentioned to my daughter on our way to her school that I was going to get medicine to clear up the congestion and my voice. She looked at me very seriously and said, "Daddy? I have a wish in my heart for you." Oh really? "I hope that your voice gets better soon." And hugged me.

It was super sweet. Though it's not like I have cancer or anything...

IceBear · Post by **IceBear** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 12:05 pm

So I am watching my two and a half year old son trying to climb the bathroom door with a toy stethoscope around his arm.

Me: what are you doing?
Z: Someday I grow up to be Spiderman Daddy (the stethoscope was apparently a web shooter)

Fretmute · Post by **Fretmute** » Mon Mar 03, 2014 3:29 pm

LawBeefaroni wrote:
A nonny mouse wrote: you said no to a Mosrite? I can't even find those around here. at least she wasn't pointing at an Ibanez or something.
No idea what I said no to. All I know is that some of the bottom shelf guitars she was picking at had price tags that made my eyes hurt. I just assumed the stuff hanging up that high must have been the big time.

Think of it as an investment in her future.

[edit] - I've never actually played one before. But it's about is heavy as my guitar, so that's a good sign.

Crabbs · Post by **Crabbs** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:30 am

The other day Amelia was 'helping' me feed the horses.

One is 27 and the other 18, so they get a bucket of water softened food that's easier to digest than straight hay/grain.

We had filled both buckets and I brought them into the back room to add water. I'm holding the hose into the bucket when Amelia pipes up:

A: Let me hold it
Me: No, I'll Help you
A: No let me do it --- (I let her hold the hose, but I still hold onto the end of it directing the water)
A: Let go!
Me: No, I don't trust you
A: Excuse me?
Me: You heard me I don't trust you to hold the hose alone.
A: You don't trust my judgement?
Me: Exactly

I bust out laughing, let her hold the hose and she promptly sprays me.....

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:28 pm

The Wonder Twins 0.9 had their 9-month checkup today, and Little B 5.0 came with us. As they were measuring Adam's head, the nurse kept saying what a big head he had. Then the doctor commented on it and we chatted about it for a little bit. It's not abnormally large (they're just really big dudes...especially for twins), but it's something that the doc wants to keep an eye on as he grows to make sure there's no pressure on the brain.

Over dinner tonight, Little B says, "Dad, remind me again...how tall is Adam's brain?"

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:34 pm

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:56 pm

I enjoyed this from Rany's latest column:

Like all good parents, I want to expose my children to the classics. Unlike all good parents, I consider 1980s pop culture part of the genre. As a wise man once said, “benefits of a classical education.” (Hans Gruber, Die Hard, 1988.) So, I oversee an informal class on the subject that meets whenever my children reach the age of appreciation.

Two years ago, when my two oldest daughters1 were 9 and 7, they sat through their first lesson: The Princess Bride (1987). I’m happy to report that they aced the class, mastering take-home lessons such as “Never get involved in a land war in Asia” and “Do not, under any circumstances, kill Inigo Montoya’s father.” The results of their second class, however, were mixed.

Last summer, just 15 minutes into our screening of Back to the Future (1985), my then 10-year-old yelled out words that will scar me for life: “This is so boring!” Meanwhile, my 8-year-old watched the entire movie in rapt fascination, and then asked when we could watch the next installments. (Don’t worry: I continue to pretend I love all my children equally.)

JSHAW · Post by **JSHAW** » Fri May 02, 2014 10:38 am

Yesterday my wife said while driving our 5 year old girl to school she used the phrase "spoiler alert" in a sentence.

Where she learned it from...youtube on ipad.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Fri May 02, 2014 10:48 am

I have the song "What does the fox say" rattling around in the brain and after humming along for awhile, asked my daughter what does she say. The reply?

'I love you. I love you. I love you."

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri May 02, 2014 10:55 am

The inlaws are in town for a visit. The kiddo has been "studying old people" in school. Apparently they're reading The Giving Tree and that's the discussion point that goes with it. Old people.

Anyway, we were at the hotel hanging out and I asked about school and she said she didn't want to get old. I asked why not and she said, "Papa is old." I winced (he chuckled, he's like 89 so there's really no refuting that). But then she said, "Papa is old but Grandma is not old!" Grandma beamed (she's much younger than Papa). Save!

YellowKing · Post by **YellowKing** » Fri May 02, 2014 10:56 am

My mom wanted to take a picture with my daughter (4) the other day, and my daughter replied, "Oh, you wanna take a selfie?"

PLW · Post by **PLW** » Fri May 02, 2014 11:11 am

5.5 yo and I were discussing her new Mp3 player. She had just discovered that it could charge and play at the same time. Her conclusion, "That thing is full of mysteries."

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Mon May 05, 2014 2:18 pm

My wife just emailed the following picture. Thomas 4.3 was playing Kerbal Space Program and somehow ended up at an...interesting...altitude.

Time to call the neighborhood exorcist, I guess.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon May 05, 2014 2:30 pm

On the walk to school this morning my almost 5 year old daughter pointed out an airplane and said that it was "this big" (putting her hands close together). I asked her - how could people get inside an airplane that small? She said, "Things look smaller when they are far away even though they are normal size when you get close." I said oh, I see, thanks for the explanation.

She said, "No problem - I know lots of science."

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon May 12, 2014 3:50 pm

My ~ 1.5 YO fell off a kiddie slide on Friday evening and managed to get a small wrist fracture. Guy's now sporting a cast for a month or two. He's taking it pretty well.

Has anyone here managed a toddler with a cast before? Main challenge is keeping it dry while keeping him clean - any tips on that? From talking with the doctors and doing online research, sounds like it's either sponge bath or rubber banding a garbage bag around the cast during bathtime.

Also apparently he's already started using it to club his classmates in day care...

JSHAW · Post by **JSHAW** » Mon May 12, 2014 3:56 pm

El Guapo wrote:My ~ 1.5 YO fell off a kiddie slide on Friday evening and managed to get a small wrist fracture. Guy's now sporting a cast for a month or two. He's taking it pretty well.

Has anyone here managed a toddler with a cast before? Main challenge is keeping it dry while keeping him clean - any tips on that? From talking with the doctors and doing online research, sounds like it's either sponge bath or rubber banding a garbage bag around the cast during bathtime.

Also apparently he's already started using it to club his classmates in day care...

You could try using a ziploc bag or other type of plastic bag, wrap some duct tape around the top and bottom, should keep
out water as long as you're not dipping the cast under water. When I say other type plastic bag a bag from loaf of bread
comes to mind. Good Luck!

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Mon May 12, 2014 4:15 pm

El Guapo wrote:rubber banding a garbage bag around the cast during bathtime.

When I had a leg cast as a youngster (6-ish), this worked OK.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon May 12, 2014 4:51 pm

JSHAW wrote:
El Guapo wrote:My ~ 1.5 YO fell off a kiddie slide on Friday evening and managed to get a small wrist fracture. Guy's now sporting a cast for a month or two. He's taking it pretty well.

Has anyone here managed a toddler with a cast before? Main challenge is keeping it dry while keeping him clean - any tips on that? From talking with the doctors and doing online research, sounds like it's either sponge bath or rubber banding a garbage bag around the cast during bathtime.

Also apparently he's already started using it to club his classmates in day care...
You could try using a ziploc bag or other type of plastic bag, wrap some duct tape around the top and bottom, should keep
out water as long as you're not dipping the cast under water. When I say other type plastic bag a bag from loaf of bread
comes to mind. Good Luck!

I mean, the trick is that if he's taking a bath then he's going to want to dip the cast under water. I can make the water shallow and hold his arm during the bath and make it quick, but that's not a lot of fun for anyone.

KKBlue · Post by **KKBlue** » Mon May 12, 2014 5:13 pm

El Guapo wrote:Also apparently he's already started using it to club his classmates in day care...

For some reason, the mental picture of your kid knocking other out in day care, brings a grin to my face!

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Mon May 12, 2014 5:28 pm

El Guapo wrote: I mean, the trick is that if he's taking a bath then he's going to want to dip the cast under water. I can make the water shallow and hold his arm during the bath and make it quick, but that's not a lot of fun for anyone.

Do the rubber band/plastic bag trick. But then...Over that, put on two or three arm floatation devices (AKA "floaties" or "water wings") and inflate them. Then wrap those in 3 a gallon trash bag and seal with duct tape. He won't be able to dip the arm under the water at that point. However, if he somehow manages to do so it will remain dry. And posibly launch him a foot or so into the air.

Or you can stop at Walgreen's and get a waterproof cast cover. Or on Amazon.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Mon May 12, 2014 10:04 pm

My stepson was supposed to go out and remove a dead rosebush today. He waited until 5PM before telling me he was so busy he couldn't get to it until after the rain came and then he couldn't do it because of the rain.
Enjoy your cute little children while you can.

KKBlue · Post by **KKBlue** » Mon May 12, 2014 10:25 pm

Bam Bam, Bam-Bam-Bam!

RLMullen · Post by **RLMullen** » Tue May 13, 2014 6:17 am

El Guapo wrote: Also apparently he's already started using it to club his classmates in day care...

That was certainly a positive benefit to having a broken arm when I was in 2nd grade. There were two bullies that got a daily beating for the entire two months that I had the cast. I'm not sure why The Adults(tm) allowed that behavior? If I'd hit anyone with a stick or other improvised weapon, I'd have been punished. Beating someone silly with a cast was perfectly fine though!!

AWS260 · Post by **AWS260** » Sat May 31, 2014 5:21 pm

At a diner this morning, ordering breakfast.

Waiter: We have cranberry juice and orange juice.
T: I want Asha juice. [Asha is one of his preschool classmates]
Me: What is Asha juice?
T: It's when you cut Asha and squeeze the juice out of her.

We ordered the cranberry juice.

Zarathud · Post by **Zarathud** » Sat May 31, 2014 10:05 pm

My 7 year old daughter flipped through the 4th Edition Monster Manual today. I intended to show her the Dragons, but she insisted on starting at the beginning. She made it through to the end. Her blood sugar was high, so she was rather sarcastic:

[Looking at the Dragons] You have those exact Dragons! Can I have the Red one?

That's a Gargoyle. Dad, did you know a Gargoyle catches water on the roof?

That lady [a Swamp Hag] is wearing skin! Where's her clothes!

Who is that guy? That guy [Oni Mage] is wearing PAJAMAS! That is re-dic-ulous!

It's a UNICORN! They're my favorite.

She also spent a lot of time studying the Ochre Jelly and Gelatinous Cube, and stopped several times to make me read the "Lore" section.

Very proud -- assuming she sleeps through the night.

Skinypupy · Post by **Skinypupy** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 10:45 am

El Guapo wrote:My ~ 1.5 YO fell off a kiddie slide on Friday evening and managed to get a small wrist fracture. Guy's now sporting a cast for a month or two. He's taking it pretty well.

Has anyone here managed a toddler with a cast before? Main challenge is keeping it dry while keeping him clean - any tips on that? From talking with the doctors and doing online research, sounds like it's either sponge bath or rubber banding a garbage bag around the cast during bathtime.

Also apparently he's already started using it to club his classmates in day care...

My mom and dad were watching the Wonder Twins .11 while I was in DC last week. Dad was stepping over the baby gate, his foot caught on it, and he went down. He was headed right for Wonder Twin .11a, and somehow managed to contort himself enough that he only landed on Corbin's leg. So now the poor little guy has a "buckle fracture" in his left leg, and gets a cast put on it this afternoon. Dad has a chipped bone in his foot along with a torn ligament, and is in a walking boot. Sucks all around (especially trying to keep an ace bandage-wrapped splint on the baby over the weekend), but it could have been much worse.

The silver lining is that Little B 5.3 is hugely excited to draw pictures on the Wonder Twin's cast...just like she saw them do on Peppa Pig.

Isgrimnur · Post by **Isgrimnur** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 10:53 am

Those things are dangerous. My friend made sure to get ones that were actual gates that could be swung open and closed. Of course, these are hardware mounted to the walls, so not exactly an off-site babysitting solution.

El Guapo · Post by **El Guapo** » Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:39 am

The kiddo has an appointment this Thursday where he's scheduled to get the cast removed (presumably assuming everything has healed on schedule). He's really handled it very well - really the only drag has been keeping the thing dry, but that's gone ok for the most part.