Moderators: Bakhtosh, EvilHomer3k
It was a great weekend to bond over NHL playoff games (though a bit tough if you're Aves fans)! Glad to read that things are getting better.
Make sure you have "The Talk" and stuff a bunch of rubbers in his backpack so that's all she rubs off on him. It's what my parents did for me when I got my first girlfriend, minus "The Talk". Just the rubbers.
You must have missed my other thread where I asked about thatPaingod wrote:Make sure you have "The Talk" and stuff a bunch of rubbers in his backpack so that's all she rubs off on him. It's what my parents did for me when I got my first girlfriend, minus "The Talk". Just the rubbers.
Seriously, though, this is awesome. Great parenting, good thread, happy thoughts!
Haven't chimed in on this one until now. I am so happy to hear this current update. Be proud of him, but also be proud of yourself, X. Not many parents get a text like that, even when their kids are in their 30's or 40's, have kids of their own, and realize that children don't come with a manual.Xmann wrote: ↑Wed May 23, 2018 11:50 am ***UPDATE***
School is out in 2 days and I wanted to follow up and give everyone an update on Noah and our family.
First, I want to say how thankful I am to have such a wonderful son. We all went through a rough stretch, but we have come out on the other side, better.
I randomly test him for weed and thus far he has been negative. He knows I will do it any moment I have suspicions and he'll have serious repercussions if he's positive.
He is no longer allowed to hang out with the two kids that he got caught up in smoking weed with regularly. Additionally, he has realized how foolish he was for being friends with those kids in the first place. He has zero desire to associate with them or similar kids.
Rock bottom for us was when we had a meeting with his school counselor in early April and he was essentially failing all his classes. During the fall, he made 2 A's, 4 B's, and 1 C. Failing all his classes at that point was a huge wake up call for me and his mom. His counselor and teachers were extremely generous and gave him strict guidelines he needed to follow to pass this semester. It's been trying at times, but he'll pass everything. He's done everything his teachers asked and gave me and his mom very little grief in doing so.
He also has his first girlfriend. We were very concerned, but to this point it's been nothing but positive. We met this young lady and even briefly met her parents while grocery shopping. His girlfriend is an honor roll student and her influence is rubbing off on Noah. They have went to the movies a couple times and he went to dinner with her and her parents. From what we can tell, this is all good for him. Looking like she's very responsible and has parents that ensure she is growing up so.
Noah is still taking Lexapro and it seems to be working very well. The past two months we have seen zero, and I mean zero, behavior concerns. We eat dinner as a family nightly and usually television for an hour or so. Earlier this year, this never happened. He's back to enjoying sports and we watch either baseball, NBA, or NHL playoffs nightly. I don't have to ask, he's telling me, "dad, the game is coming on". We are season ticket holders for the Broncos and he's excited.
Lastly, I realized that I needed to be a father and not his buddy. We are buddies, in a sense. But me being his dad and listening to me and doing what I ask comes first. He understands he's not to question or try to manipulate me, because that will no longer work. I'm not naive to think he'll no longer try and test me, so it's a work in progress. A breakthrough was the night me and him had a really good honest talk about our relationship. I told him that I have made mistakes in parenting and I take full responsibility for my actions, or lack there of. He understands I'll always have his best interests in mind, whether he likes or agrees with the decisions I make. It was very emotional as I spoke to him about me losing my father and the over compensation I've been doing raising him. We both realized at that moment, we needed to change. I'm being a better father now and he's a better son. I can't begin to describe how proud I am of him.
Lastly, 2 days ago when I awoke for work, I noticed I had a text from him. It was sent from him at 1130pm. This is how it reads
"Dad, I know it's late. But I want to tell you I love you and thank you for taking care of me. You have always believed in me and I want to tell you thank you. I have made the changes that I have because of you. I'm who I am because of you. I just wanted you to know that"
I'm a really lucky dad.
Sent from my Galaxy S9 using Tapatalk
I really appreciate the sentiment.Hyena wrote:Haven't chimed in on this one until now. I am so happy to hear this current update. Be proud of him, but also be proud of yourself, X. Not many parents get a text like that, even when their kids are in their 30's or 40's, have kids of their own, and realize that children don't come with a manual.Xmann wrote: ↑Wed May 23, 2018 11:50 am ***UPDATE***
School is out in 2 days and I wanted to follow up and give everyone an update on Noah and our family.
First, I want to say how thankful I am to have such a wonderful son. We all went through a rough stretch, but we have come out on the other side, better.
I randomly test him for weed and thus far he has been negative. He knows I will do it any moment I have suspicions and he'll have serious repercussions if he's positive.
He is no longer allowed to hang out with the two kids that he got caught up in smoking weed with regularly. Additionally, he has realized how foolish he was for being friends with those kids in the first place. He has zero desire to associate with them or similar kids.
Rock bottom for us was when we had a meeting with his school counselor in early April and he was essentially failing all his classes. During the fall, he made 2 A's, 4 B's, and 1 C. Failing all his classes at that point was a huge wake up call for me and his mom. His counselor and teachers were extremely generous and gave him strict guidelines he needed to follow to pass this semester. It's been trying at times, but he'll pass everything. He's done everything his teachers asked and gave me and his mom very little grief in doing so.
He also has his first girlfriend. We were very concerned, but to this point it's been nothing but positive. We met this young lady and even briefly met her parents while grocery shopping. His girlfriend is an honor roll student and her influence is rubbing off on Noah. They have went to the movies a couple times and he went to dinner with her and her parents. From what we can tell, this is all good for him. Looking like she's very responsible and has parents that ensure she is growing up so.
Noah is still taking Lexapro and it seems to be working very well. The past two months we have seen zero, and I mean zero, behavior concerns. We eat dinner as a family nightly and usually television for an hour or so. Earlier this year, this never happened. He's back to enjoying sports and we watch either baseball, NBA, or NHL playoffs nightly. I don't have to ask, he's telling me, "dad, the game is coming on". We are season ticket holders for the Broncos and he's excited.
Lastly, I realized that I needed to be a father and not his buddy. We are buddies, in a sense. But me being his dad and listening to me and doing what I ask comes first. He understands he's not to question or try to manipulate me, because that will no longer work. I'm not naive to think he'll no longer try and test me, so it's a work in progress. A breakthrough was the night me and him had a really good honest talk about our relationship. I told him that I have made mistakes in parenting and I take full responsibility for my actions, or lack there of. He understands I'll always have his best interests in mind, whether he likes or agrees with the decisions I make. It was very emotional as I spoke to him about me losing my father and the over compensation I've been doing raising him. We both realized at that moment, we needed to change. I'm being a better father now and he's a better son. I can't begin to describe how proud I am of him.
Lastly, 2 days ago when I awoke for work, I noticed I had a text from him. It was sent from him at 1130pm. This is how it reads
"Dad, I know it's late. But I want to tell you I love you and thank you for taking care of me. You have always believed in me and I want to tell you thank you. I have made the changes that I have because of you. I'm who I am because of you. I just wanted you to know that"
I'm a really lucky dad.
Sent from my Galaxy S9 using Tapatalk
I have an autistic child, 7 years old, and we have struggled with his classroom behaviors on and off all year. He is EXTREMELY high functioning, even being brought into the GT classroom by the teacher without having taken the GT test, but he struggles with control issues and peer relations. He also has discovered the concept of "lying", which was as foreign to him as breathing underwater would be to me. However, we have him on a couple new medications to manage his ADHD and anxiety, and he has leveled out quite a bit.
All that to say I hope and pray one day to receive a text like that from my little man. That's awesome, sir. Keep it up.
