Depression

[dbt1949]

Lately, say the last 50 years of my life, I have felt depressed most of the time. I have no idea what causes it. Perhaps I'm not "normal" enough. Whatever that is.
I don't have that bad an outlook on life but am never happy. Oh sure there have been certain hours when I was happy but not for extended periods of time.
I suppose it is the loner lifestyle I have chosen for myself. I get along fine with people but if I never saw another one again that'd be okay with me.
<sigh>
Some of you out there are depressed or have been depressed in the past. How do/did you handle it?

[RunningMn9]

I do not suffer from clinical depression, but over the past several years there have been moments where I’ve had to deal with depression and/or anxiety. The anxiety was a much bigger problem and so took up the focus, but mercifully it was never persistent for more than a few days.

That peaked in an episode in Aug 2019 that felt like a nervous breakdown, and my wife finally convinced me that I needed help. Two+ years of therapy later, and I’ve got much better tools to cope with it when it happens.

But I assume that’s only possible because my issues are triggered, they aren’t pervasive. When it happens it’s an opportunity to try to understand what is really causing. I don’t know how to do that if it’s relatively constant though.

I assume the best chance of escaping that is medication.

[dfs]

Here is the outline of my experience. If you need more details ask......Several years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I refused all treatment. My attitude was that I did not need it and it wouldn't help.

I went through the death of my parents, empty nesting and a career crisis at roughly the same time and I did agree to accept some counseling. It helped. What affected me the most was during the first session with my counselor I talked about where I was in my life and she said "Not only are you depressed, but you have very good reasons to be depressed." Somehow just hearing that was very meaningful and validating to me. Perspective matters.

A few years later to control symptoms from a neurological issue I was having, I was put on a low dose of anti-depressants as well as a host of other drugs. Now, I never would have accepted this drug for depression, but for this health issue I trusted my doc. I found life much more enjoyable on the anti-depressants. Brain surgery eventually corrected that health issue and I went off all the drugs I had been put on for it including the antidepressants. After a couple of months of that, I asked my gp to put me back on the antidepressants. It's not that life is unbearable without them, but that life is just a smidge easier with them. He prescribed the lowest dose that he could and I take half of that. I notice when I miss a dose.

The message here is because of the stigma around mental health, I was not willing to accept help even when it would have done me good. It took other triggers in my life to admit those treatments into my life. The kicker being that when those treatments were applied to me life, they DID end up helping me feel better.

[Jaymon]

Seeing your doctor and having meds is a really good tactic for many people. And you need to stay on the meds, even when you feel good. Therapy, even teletherapy is good. And not the TV trope style of "tell me about your mother". Its more like, here is somebody you can talk to, and tell them anything. Because sometimes, you need somebody to talk to who doesn't judge, and isn't personally involved, and you wont accidently run into at the grocery and have an awkward moment.


Self care is good, but difficult. Because depression is insidious. For some people, you can't self diagnose when you are depressed until after the fact, when you are in the throes of depression you can't see it. You can have a list of activities or strategies for how to climb out of depression, but when you are depressed, you don't want to do those things. So it takes a lot of willpower to actually perform them.

If you have the self awareness to recognize when you are depressed, and the willpower to perform self care, you can work through this, but depression attacks self awareness and willpower, so its unusual. Medication and therapy are far better methods of treatment.

[Kraken]

I've been on various antidepressants since before SSRIs were invented. The old tricyclics had nasty side effects so Prozac and its many cousins came as a godsend.

Like dfs, I'm on a very low dose. During the summer I only take half of it, and probably don't need it at all -- but these aren't the kind of drugs one can stop and start at will. During the winter, I double my dose (to the prescribed amount). It helps somewhat with my seasonal depression. But for the most part, I just need to hang in there until we set the clocks ahead again. I do OK during Daylight Saving Time and not-OK during Daylight Wasting Time. I always get morose and morbid during the winter, and it gradually passes in the spring.

[Blackhawk]

I was diagnosed at 19. Had I been seen, I'd have probably been diagnosed by 10 or 11, which would have saved a lot of misery. I haven't been on anti-depressants in close to 20 year, though. Part of that was that it became less prominent. Part of it was that I learned to recognize my own triggers before I let them build up to the point that they were causing a problem (one example - I'd think up 'worst case' scenarios and then dwell on them, sort of like having self-inflicted nightmares while awake, and I'd get 'stuck' in those thoughts until they overwhelmed me.) I learned to see when I was doing that as soon as I started and make myself stop before it became a problem. I also learned to recognize when it was setting in so that I could grit my teeth and change course before it became so bad that I didn't want to. Still, it has come and gone over the years, depending on what's going on in my daily life. There were times when I was divorced and I didn't have the kids that I'd go for a week at a time without seeing another human being.

Lately, though, it's started to creep back. It's not the old depression. It's something new, and it's more subtle. I've been thinking that it's time to try and get in to see my doctor about it, as the actual therapy options around here are absolutely terrible.* As it is, I've noticed certain warning signs. Not taking satisfaction in anything I do, leading to cycles of boredom and frustrating attempts at activity. Lack of motivation. Not so much the classic 'sadness', which is one thing that's different this time, just a slowly building lack of happiness and satisfaction.

In the past two years the country has fallen apart, COVID happened, money has gotten tighter than it has been in a while, my tabletop gaming group exploded because of politics after almost ten years, my kids grew up into the young adult phase where they're not really wanting share activities anymore, and my only remaining real-world friends moved halfway across the country. It's left me fairly isolated and surrounded with social activities that I love and can't really engage in anymore. So there are active factors, and I want to get out in front of it this time.

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*An aside on the local therapy options: There is exactly one place. If you have Medicare/Medicaid, then they have one or two therapists who will accept it (they have to have some, but don't want to lose the money by having everyone take it.) The bigger problem is that their turnover is nuts. In the years that I went there between going on disability and the cancer, I was getting therapists changed on my probably every six months because they'd leave as soon as they found anything better. Since I had no say in who I saw, if there was a mismatch I was stuck with it. That led to me spending a full year with one therapist who didn't even know that treatments for my condition existed until I bought her a book on it, after which she stuck me in a group for women with borderline personality disorder because she had no clue what to do with me and didn't want to make the effort to learn. Getting cancer got me out of that colossal waste of time, and I have never been back.

Now they're doing therapy by phone. My son's first therapist there did all of his sessions while lying in bed. My wife's does hers while driving her daughter to school or while putting away groceries. Seriously - that's the best they can, that's the most attention they can devote to their clients.

[dbt1949]

In the past I've taken Prozac and Fluoxetine. I didn't feel it was helping. I've been to therapy and that was a waste of time. They keep wanting me to heal myself and couldn't figure out why I was depressed.

[Sudy]

I wish I had some helpful advice, but the truth is that I haven't handled it well or at all. I might actually be experiencing the worst depressive episode of my life right now... I've reached out to family and to my doctor and I'm getting some help, but it doesn't seem like nearly enough. I've struggled with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and lethargy since childhood. But I've always found it hard to tell the difference between "depression", challenging circumstances, and personal inadequacy/failure. Part of me knows I'm capable of propelling myself near enough to a "normal" life when I have a gun to my head, but it's exhausting. There's a spark most other people seem to have that I lack. I can put my finger on a lot of the things in my life that have led me here, both in and out of my control. But other parts are a mystery.

I think the practical answer is that you have the best shot if you have or can find a sympathetic doctor who's willing to prescribe different medications until you find the right one. This can be a long, frustrating process owing to the side effects, etc. But for most people medication isn't enough; you need some kind of ongoing therapy or counseling. This is where I've struggled to find help, because even though I live somewhere with universal healthcare, therapy isn't covered. There are free or reduced-cost opportunities available, but it takes work to find them... and not the kind of work that's easy when you're knee deep in despair and frustration. I've had opportunities to join group classes before, but they interfered with my work schedule. It frequently feels like I'm just not quite sick "enough" to be eligible for the scant community mental health services that are available. But I know it's going to be a little different in each region.

I've had some dark thoughts, but I've never truly wanted to give up. And I don't want you or anyone else to give up either. People and relationships are hard, frustrating, and confusing. But I know that when someone is no longer there, they're missed. There are times when OO has been my only/primary social outlet, even though I've never felt like I completely fit in. When I recede socially I'm usually at my worst. I find it really is very easy to lose perspective within one's mind. Things get nihilistic very quickly.

[Sudy]

In the past I've taken Prozac and Fluoxetine. I didn't feel it was helping. I've been to therapy and that was a waste of time. They keep wanting me to heal myself and couldn't figure out why I was depressed.

I think I've probably been on 15 drugs since I was formally diagnosed 11 or 12 years ago. I honestly couldn't tell you whether most helped me. They didn't seem to. Or at least, the side effects were as bad as the symptoms they were supposed to be relieving. (Probably 75% gave me E.D.-related issues and impacted my ability to think clearly.) But I've also been medication-free so rarely that I've lost touch with any kind of baseline. Lithium seemed to bring me out of a major episode a few years ago, but now I'm back in the same situation despite being at a higher dosage than before. (Lithium isn't a common treatment for depression, but the last psychiatrist I saw diagnosed me with bipolar II, which I kind of dispute.)

I think there are some types of therapy that are going to suit some people better than others. But I'll agree that I've been fairly frustrated with the systems I've encountered. A lot of filling out charts and documenting feelings that I really don't find very helpful. A lot of it feels infantilizing. But I know I also don't usually give it a big enough chance. But these are usually things that are suited best to being taught and distributed by limited/free programs. So often it feels like only the wealthy can afford legitimate treatment. But that's the way it is with many things. It just feels like such an oppressive cycle, because how can I become successful (or at least stable) if I can't access the help I need in the first place? Though the reality is that I'm probably much more privileged than many in terms of the care I've already received.

[Blackhawk]

But I've always found it hard to tell the difference between "depression", challenging circumstances, and personal inadequacy/failure.

Tip: It isn't personal inadequacy, and failure is just a challenging circumstance.

I think the practical answer is that you have the best shot if you have or can find a sympathetic doctor who's willing to prescribe different medications until you find the right one. This can be a long, frustrating process owing to the side effects, etc. But for most people medication isn't enough; you need some kind of ongoing therapy or counseling.

It's worth mentioning that finding the right therapist can be as much of a trial-and-error process as the medication. In my life I've seen at least a dozen therapists (see the note on my post above for why.) Out of those dozen, only two or three really made a difference, but the difference that those two or three made was absolutely vital in how far I've come. It was worth wading through the rest.

There are times when OO has been my only/primary social outlet, even though I've never felt like I completely fit in.

This goes back to the 'personal inadequacy' bit - what makes you think that any of us fit in? We're just a mish-mash of screwed up people clustered together in one place. The fact that you don't fit in is why you fit in perfectly - we're all that way. And OO is just a microcosm for the world. The idea that the world consists mostly of 'normal' people is a delusion. Normal is just the average center point of all of the lost, confused, frustrated, depressed, screwed up people that represent humanity.

Minds are like porn stars and action heroes. They're 'ideals' that we hold up and insist on comparing ourselves to, despite the fact that they're not a realistic example of what we are.

So yeah, you fit in. And the only reason you could be inadequate is if you're comparing yourself to a fictional perfect.

[dbt1949]

I am not suicidal but if there was a readily available pill that I could take that was fast and painless I'd give it some serious thought.
I wish I could take something like oxycotin all the time.
Neither are practical alternatives of course.

[Sudy]

But I've always found it hard to tell the difference between "depression", challenging circumstances, and personal inadequacy/failure.

Tip: It isn't personal inadequacy, and failure is just a challenging circumstance.

Thought expression is hard. I know being depressed isn't my fault, but I also know that there are numerous things I could do better at with minimal effort. E.g. Mrs. Nym (borderline personality disorder/social anxiety disorder/depression) is always quick to remind me that "laziness" isn't usually the negative personality trait it's made out to be. There's almost always an underlying condition of avoidance etc. No one would choose procrastination willingly when it only creates anxiety and makes your life more difficult. But, surely laziness still exists. If you could clean up after yourself but you don't, because you know someone else will do it for you, you're just an asshole. And those lines often blur for me. All the challenges in my life are balls I'm juggling, but there are strings connecting most of them and I often just let most of them fall because keeping them up in the air is too exhausting.

...you fit in. And the only reason you could be inadequate is if you're comparing yourself to a fictional perfect.

I think that's true and I appreciate your reply. And I realize that even as I covet the lives of those who are more socially affluent than I am, there are those who are struggling even more than myself, and on the inside they have the same needs and worries as the rest of us. Likewise, those who are more put-together have the same capacity for pain and strife. I know the message is to do our best to love indiscriminately. In the moment, I believe it. But when I reflect (and I've been reflecting too much lately), I really struggle with nihilism and existentialism. We must create our own meaning, and I want to have meaning and to share meaning with others--but it also seems so futile. And I wind up cursing these monkey desires for friendship, intimacy, connectedness, etc. And I realize that's immature... it's the equivalent of a teen posting "religion sucks" in the Youtube comments. But for the first time in my life I'm really having trouble pushing it out of my mind. And it scares me, because this is where a lot of villains in our society begin to run off the rails. But I know there must be many more who just silently and mournfully contemplate.

I am not suicidal but if there was a readily available pill that I could take that was fast and painless I'd give it some serious thought.
I wish I could take something like oxycotin all the time.
Neither are practical alternatives of course.

I'm glad you're not suicidal. I shouldn't have alluded to suicidal ideation so casually or ambiguously, but it's a related consideration that's important to discuss. I know I don't want to die. I want to do amazing things with the time I have left. It just seems so impossible, and I become resentful.

Cannabis has become an escape for me, in part. I certainly wouldn't advocate its use as such, but it's been a place to turn this past year when I need to turn down the negative feelings and turn up the good ones. But I can't be functional when I'm using it, so at best it's another form of avoidance.

[em2nought]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... -chocolate

[dbt1949]

Oh, and I'm staying out of Drazzil's thread!

[LordMortis]

I went though a myriad of cocktails none relieved the symptoms some sent my anxiety to 11. There's no depression when you can't sit in your own skin and you can't figure out why you're panicking. They all came with withdraw. I'd like to think there's a combo for me but I'm not wiling to go through the ringer any more. The one thing that did it for me was prednisone, which is most definitely not an anti depressant. They'll never prescribe anything like it to me for the things it did wonders for, so I've accepted my biochemistry has me in perpetual low grade, low energy, minor pains, meh mode from now until I'm no more. There are worse places to be, I guess. Like going through $100 of different meds every six month that do nothing, put me in a haze, or raise my anxiety and make me tense and irritable when I change to the next ones.

I envy the rest of all y'all who have found their meds.

[Kraken]

I went though a myriad of cocktails none relieved the symptoms some sent my anxiety to 11. There's no depression when you can't sit in your own skin and you can't figure out why you're panicking. They all came with withdraw. I'd like to think there's a combo for me but I'm not wiling to go through the ringer any more. The one thing that did it for me was prednisone, which is most definitely not an anti depressant. They'll never prescribe anything like it to me for the things it did wonders for, so I've accepted my biochemistry has me in perpetual low grade, low energy, minor pains, meh mode from now until I'm no more. There are worse places to be, I guess. Like going through $100 of different meds every six month that do nothing, put me in a haze, or raise my anxiety and make me tense and irritable when I change to the next ones.

I envy the rest of all y'all who have found their meds.

Bupropion (Wellbutrin) helps me maintain an even keel and my doctor recently endorsed letting me titrate my dose as I feel necessary. I take it more for anxiety than depression. My "even keel" is affectless. I'm not happy or sad, just emotionally flat. And I'm fine with that. I don't want feelings. Between the antidepressant and self-medicating with cannabis, alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine, I'm stable. Just don't perturb my daily routine and I'll be fine.

During the worst months of winter -- January through March -- I struggle with hopelessness and nihilism, but as I said earlier I know that will pass in the spring, and I'll get back to being flat. Good enough for me.

[dfs]

During the worst months of winter -- January through March -- I struggle with hopelessness and nihilism, but as I said earlier I know that will pass in the spring, and I'll get back to being flat. Good enough for me.

Yes, I don't know if it's the cold or the lack of sun. I tell myself if I moved to New Mexico or someplace like that it would be healthier for me.

Winter is the worst.

[Sudy]

I kind of dismissed SAD when I first heard about it, but it's just hit me brutally some of the past several years. To the point it causes me anxiety. It's bizarre. Any I'm a homebody, so it's not even that I miss being outside in particular. I just feel so much more isolated and disconnected. Inside feels like a prison yet I fear going out. The pandemic certainly hasn't helped.

I want to be a big bear that just sleeps through it all. Except for meals maybe.

[Kraken]

During the worst months of winter -- January through March -- I struggle with hopelessness and nihilism, but as I said earlier I know that will pass in the spring, and I'll get back to being flat. Good enough for me.

Yes, I don't know if it's the cold or the lack of sun. I tell myself if I moved to New Mexico or someplace like that it would be healthier for me.

Winter is the worst.

I have one of those "happy light" fluorescent panels to supplement the lack of UV rays. I only use it to light up my face for Zoom calls. Maybe this week I'll try using it whenever I'm working at my laptop, and see if it makes any noticeable difference.

I'm trying to be more sanguine about winter. Winter gives me an excuse to turn turtle since there's no yardwork or gardening to do, and it only snows infrequently most years. And now that I've been out of retail for several years, I don't hate xmas as passionately as I used to.

I think the lack of exercise contributes as much as the darkness does to my depression. I didn't walk once last week; every morning was either too cold or raining. If it's not at least 30 degrees at 9 a.m. (25 if it's sunny with no wind), I don't walk.

[LordMortis]

Bupropion (Wellbutrin) helps me maintain an even keel and my doctor recently endorsed letting me titrate my dose as I feel necessary. I take it more for anxiety than depression. My "even keel" is affectless. I'm not happy or sad, just emotionally flat. And I'm fine with that. I don't want feelings. Between the antidepressant and self-medicating with cannabis, alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine, I'm stable. Just don't perturb my daily routine and I'll be fine.

During the worst months of winter -- January through March -- I struggle with hopelessness and nihilism, but as I said earlier I know that will pass in the spring, and I'll get back to being flat. Good enough for me.

Wellbutrin sent me into my first full blown panic attack. Withdraw from wellbutrin was also among the worst to get off of.

...

I use a full spectrum "sphere" for 45 minutes to start my work day when I am locked away from ever seeing the outdoors. I'm not sure it does anything but I bought the damned thing, so I use it.

[Holman]

I've only got a few minutes, but I'd like to chime in here.

As I was growing up, I was the person people always asked "What's wrong?" I had an air of sadness about me, and I lost count of how many times my friends (I did have them) told me they were worried about me.

I thought being sad was normal and unavoidable--like maybe it was the price one paid for being "deep" or something--so it was a long time before I realized that I didn't have to feel that way. (It didn't help that my church basically taught that discontent was a sign of spiritual guilt, and wasn't I a sinner, after all?)

Eventually I tried therapy. I was in and out of various therapists' offices for spells of a couple of years at a time. (I moved enough to need to find a new one every so often.) I got very good at telling my story, but I was still at least moderately depressed.

What has worked best for me, and it has made a real difference in the past few years, is therapy of a more cognitive-behavioral bent (i.e. focused on the thinking that precedes my darker moods and/or actions) combined with medium-strength antidepressant medication. I tried Paxil and Wellbutrin in the past, but what seems to work best for me is Lexapro, which has also had the welcome effect (unless it's a coincidence) of diminishing the frequency of my migraines.

I've also had to address (through therapy and other attention) my decades-long habit of using alcohol to medicate my feelings.

[Carpet_pissr]

In the past I've taken Prozac and Fluoxetine. I didn't feel it was helping. I've been to therapy and that was a waste of time. They keep wanting me to heal myself and couldn't figure out why I was depressed.

Sometimes it takes trying MANY anti-depressants before you find one that works for your particular brain. Consider trying more.

OTOH, you could also be one of those people that are resistant to anti-depressants (there are tons out there). FWIW, many companies right now are using psilocybin, LSD and a few other drugs to try and reach those "resistant" cases (among treating other things...PTSD, adult ADHD and more). I am strongly considering trying to figure out how to micro-dose psilocybin, as everything I have read about doing that points to something that would likely help me. Not enough to make you loopy (at all), but enough to get some of the benefit of a sense of well-being. Considering it's still a controlled substance, I have not figured out a way to do that.

Side note: I also tried Welbutrin several years ago, after maybe trying two others that did nothing for me. Helped TREMENDOUSLY, and I noted an almost immediate (like wiithin a few days IIRC) difference in my demeanor. It's also often prescribed for adult ADHD, and I do think it helped with that as well (when nothing else I tried seemed to). I really should get back on it probably! And on top of all that, in most people, IIRC, it tends to suppress your appetite. Bonus!

Even further to the side, note: I don't remember what I was taking at the time (certainly one of the anti-depressants that I tried, AND/OR possibly one of the ADHD meds I was trying...I had two experiences that were just plain horrible, and curious to know if anyone else experienced this (possibly it was the Welbutrin?)
1. The first time I felt this, it was an IMMEDIATE feeling of pure, condensed DREAD. That is the only way I can describe it. Since I had never felt that intense of a feeling before, much less one that...alarming, I can very clearly remember it many years later. So immediate sense of dread and doom, like me, and everyone around me, loved ones, etc were in IMMINENT danger of dying, and horribly. So weird. So disturbing. It also made me very dizzy, and according to people around me, turned me ashen.
2. The second time it happened, I felt it coming on, and was kind of prepared for it (remember thinking "OH SHIT!!!! NOT THIS AGAIN!) but this time the next thought in my head was looking around at the concrete, wondering why I was face down in my driveway (I passed out, something I have never done in my life).

[Skinypupy]

I kind of dismissed SAD when I first heard about it, but it's just hit me brutally some of the past several years. To the point it causes me anxiety. It's bizarre. Any I'm a homebody, so it's not even that I miss being outside in particular. I just feel so much more isolated and disconnected. Inside feels like a prison yet I fear going out. The pandemic certainly hasn't helped.

I want to be a big bear that just sleeps through it all. Except for meals maybe.

Oddly, I'm exactly the opposite. I'm perfectly fine during the winter months and generally enjoy very cold and traditionally "gloomy" weather.

However, when peak summer hits (mid-July through mid-September) and we get stretches of 100+ every day with nothing but bright sunshine day after day, I swing between incredibly anxious and an overwhelming malaise. I have found that early morning runs have alleviated that somewhat, but I still really struggle on mid to late afternoons during the summer months. I'm either crawling the walls or find myself completely unable to even leave my home office cave.

It's difficult, for sure.

[Carpet_pissr]

Speaking of winter months depression or blues....EVERYONE IS TAKING THEIR D3, RIGHT?!!?

PSA

[dbt1949]

Oh yeah, I've used Paxil too.
One of my problems is looking after my wife for the last 13 years when she became invalid. There ain't no way to fix that outside of putting her in a nursery home. But I owe her better than that. The day will come, maybe even this year, when I'll have to put her in but not yet.

[Default]

21 on the scale here. Better now that peak season is over, but, yeah, I wouldn't know what non-depressed would feel like. It got better when I got diagnosed with ADHD three years ago and learned why life had been so difficult. Got even better when I started on Adderall. A lot of it was due to the way my brain was wired, and more than that were reactions to never feeling safe at all as a kid. A LOT of traumatic experiences and being terrified of my father, for very good reasons. Apparently, my inability to sleep more than three hours in a row dates back to 19 years of hyper vigilance 24/7.
It sucks, but having the tools to handle the echos of fear and powerlessness helps a lot.

[Blackhawk]

Speaking of winter months depression or blues....EVERYONE IS TAKING THEIR D3, RIGHT?!!?

PSA

Yep. The science is on the fence as to how helpful it is, and you have to get the right dose and get it from a reliable source, but given its potential, it's worth making the effort.

[paulbaxter]

This probably won't be too helpful but,


I went through several years of what fits the clinical definition of mild depression. Felt sad more days than not, thought about death all the time, thought about suicide from time to time. Didn't get to the point where it affected my functioning in general, but it sucked really bad. But I absolutely was convinced that the causes were circumstantial rather than internal. My marriage had become pretty miserable, I wasn't making any money, and my social life was less than ideal. Things came to a head when I lost the job I thought was my dream job six months after my marriage ended.

I was fortunate to have a couple of friends who I was talking to on a regular basis at that time. I was also fortunate enough to find another job before my money ran out (just barely). Once my circumstances improved, I started feeling a lot better. Looking back, I can see that it was a bit of a rocky recovery for me. Minor setbacks would still make me very sad for quite a while. But it seems now that I'm handling the occasional problem much better. I just say, hmm, that was no good, and just move right along.

In any event, sometimes it's really just as simple as life being pretty bad, and if you can make some positive changes, attitude and mood go with it.

I'm sure it's not that way for many people. I'm just saying it was that way for me.

[Default]

Here's the thing with adult ADHD.
What treats the ADHD itself is methylphenidate or amphetamine.
Everything else treats the symptoms. Generally, if you have a reaction to either, the dose is too high. Recommended dosage is only the dosing range *that was studied*. If you have a bad reaction to 15 mg, go to 10. Hell, go to 5mg. You can also get a script lower than that. It all depends on how sensitive you are to the meds.
Wellbutrin raises dopamine production in the brain, which makes communication between the parts of the brain quicker. If there are issues with that, try cutting the dosage.
If you start listening particularly to the Additude magazine expert podcasts, you can pick up a lot of information from the people who literally have written the books on ADHD. Your gp isn't going to know dick about ADHD, and certainly not in adults.

If there is an area where you NEED to be your own expert, it's here. ADHD is most commonly co-morbid withat least one other condition. Generalized Anxiety Disorder and depression are the prize in the box about 60% of the time. You probably want to stay away from dopamine killers if you are on stimulate meds, and you need to be careful with Wellbutrin, because that pumps up dopamine like crazy. That and stim meds can be a disaster if the interaction isn't taken into account.

[Carpet_pissr]

You probably want to stay away from dopamine killers if you are on stimulate meds, and you need to be careful with Wellbutrin, because that pumps up dopamine like crazy. That and stim meds can be a disaster if the interaction isn't taken into account.

Is this worded correctly? If so, can you please clarify? Very interested!

[gbasden]

Oddly, I'm exactly the opposite. I'm perfectly fine during the winter months and generally enjoy very cold and traditionally "gloomy" weather.

However, when peak summer hits (mid-July through mid-September) and we get stretches of 100+ every day with nothing but bright sunshine day after day, I swing between incredibly anxious and an overwhelming malaise. I have found that early morning runs have alleviated that somewhat, but I still really struggle on mid to late afternoons during the summer months. I'm either crawling the walls or find myself completely unable to even leave my home office cave.

It's difficult, for sure.

I have similar problems. The summer, when everything turns brown and dead and hot, really increases my depression issues.

[hitbyambulance]

i was just put on methylphenidate and fluoxitene. like, just started this combination _today_.

i have energy after work! i am feeling up to actually doing things at 7pm! what sorcery is this?!? i thought for sure i was just succumbing to middle-age loss of vitality.

[Sudy]

Congratulations! I hope it sticks.

I've been prescribed a few drugs over the years as adjunct treatments. Bupropion (also to help with the antidepressant-related sexual side effects), modafinil (a stimulant also prescribed to narcolepsy patients and the French military to keep them awake), and one of the ADHD drugs (I forget which). I dreamed they would provide a Limitless-esque boost that would change my life, but in reality I'm not sure they did anything at all. I thought for sure the ADHD drug would, since those are so commonly abused. Either I'm treatment-resistant or I gauge the effects of treatment poorly. I even got to do a genetic test to see how well I was likely to metabolize common antidepressants.

Since the contentious (in my mind) bipolar II diagnosis, my doctors seem more interested in trying me on adjunct anti-psychotics. Mrs. Nym has been on some of them in her fight with borderline personality disorder. Some of the side effects scare the hell out of me--e.g. 20% of long term, high-dosage users eventually develop tardive dyskinesia? You'd think that's something the doctor would bring up when prescribing regardless of whether that risk is worthwhile. Anyway, Seroquel I didn't bother with after a few days as a low dose was making me extremely drowsy and I didn't care to fight it. I think I literally slept 30 of 36 hours the final time I tried it. I've been on Abilify twice and it's the roughest drug I've tried on this journey. It gives me a restlessness and desperation so vicious that I literally cannot sufficiently describe it. Sitting still at a desk was an impossibility.

My ape side frequently emerges to ask if I really need these medications prescribed to those with schizophrenia and others who experience literal psychosis etc., even though I realize I'm just stigmatizing other disorders, and that the way medications and mental illness work are far from linear. But if I was more determined, perhaps I could get by with fewer treatments? But then I'd be less likely to get the help I do need. And what other options do my doctors have when I tell them nothing's working? It's not like they can force the government to provide the subsidized counseling that's probably a missing puzzle piece for a lot of people.

Tomorrow I start Latuda. Plus the lithium, plus the levothyroxine to counteract the lithium doing its best to fuck my thyroid.

[dbt1949]

I take a handful of drugs for other maladies as it is and I wonder at the side effects and interaction with these other drugs. Has there ever been any studies on this? Especially on people who are 198 years old.

[LordMortis]

I take a handful of drugs for other maladies as it is and I wonder at the side effects and interaction with these other drugs. Has there ever been any studies on this? Especially on people who are 198 years old.

Doctors and pharmacists are supposed to know these things of have software that does. There are lots and lots of studies on drug interactions. Especially on cognitive affects of drugs. As to if they get distilled to you? I got nuthin.

[Blackhawk]

Exactly. And there are failsafes. If your doctor misses an interaction, it also has to pass through the doctor's computer, the pharmacist, and the pharmacist's computer (assuming that you accurately report all of your medication and keep the list up to date - that's why they always ask.)

Of more concern is the impact of supplements, which often are not reported. I'm on Vyvanse, for instance, and I have to watch taking vitamin C because of it (I limit high vitamin C foods/supplements to the evening - no morning OJ for me.)

[hitbyambulance]

unfortunately, my awakefulness and energy lasted til 3AM last night.

feeling a bit dizzy-ish today.

[Default]

You probably want to stay away from dopamine killers if you are on stimulate meds, and you need to be careful with Wellbutrin, because that pumps up dopamine like crazy. That and stim meds can be a disaster if the interaction isn't taken into account.

Wellbutrin pumps up dopamine production in the brain, easing depression. Stim meds for ADHD also pump up production of dopamine and other neurotransmitters, so it can create an overproduction of dopamine in particular, if dosing isn't carefully calculated.
Is this worded correctly? If so, can you please clarify? Very interested!

[Default]

unfortunately, my awakefulness and energy lasted til 3AM last night.

feeling a bit dizzy-ish today.

Sometimes it's like that the first week, until you get used to it. If it persists long than that, see about lowering the dosage. It does not matter what your weight or age is, it's how sensitive you are to the meds. Please go listen to the Additude expert podcasts, it will be an illumination.

[Sudy]

I take a handful of drugs for other maladies as it is and I wonder at the side effects and interaction with these other drugs. Has there ever been any studies on this? Especially on people who are 198 years old.

Doctors and pharmacists are supposed to know these things of have software that does. There are lots and lots of studies on drug interactions. Especially on cognitive affects of drugs. As to if they get distilled to you? I got nuthin.

There are also drug interaction checkers online, of course. They're fairly easy to use, but some of them require you to be accurate about the medication's name versus the brand name, and the information will likely either be limited or need to be parsed by a professional. I've had to remind doctors multiple times that dextromethorphan (e.g. in cough syrup) shouldn't be used while on some SSRIs. Did they forget, or do I trust that they knew and the risk was low enough that it wasn't worth mentioning? I like and trust most of the doctor's I've had, but it's unnerving. Not that I don't understand the issues with patients self-diagnosing online.