Jaymon Writing
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- Jaymon
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Jaymon Writing
Hey everybody,
I went to open mic night, and did stand up.
Directly before me was a guy running for governor, (he was not doing standup) which is why I talked about running for Governor)
yeah, its not bad audio quality, I just didn't talk into the mic
I went to open mic night, and did stand up.
Directly before me was a guy running for governor, (he was not doing standup) which is why I talked about running for Governor)
yeah, its not bad audio quality, I just didn't talk into the mic
Last edited by Jaymon on Mon Jan 09, 2023 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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- Jaymann
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
You definitely have stones (and a great name)!
Jaymann
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- LawBeefaroni
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
" Hey OP, listen to my advice alright." -Tha General
"No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer." -Stigler's Law of Eponymy, discovered by Robert K. Merton
MYT
"No scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer." -Stigler's Law of Eponymy, discovered by Robert K. Merton
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Jaymon Standing Up
Very hard work, good for you!
How are kids and cats not the same? When your kid starts licking themselves in public, somehow you’re seen as a bad parent. Definitely getting in trouble putting that on the YouTube. Don’t ask me how I know, just…trust me.
. J/k
How are kids and cats not the same? When your kid starts licking themselves in public, somehow you’re seen as a bad parent. Definitely getting in trouble putting that on the YouTube. Don’t ask me how I know, just…trust me.
. J/k
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"I don't stand by anything." - Trump
“Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.” - John Stuart Mill, Inaugural Address Delivered to the University of St Andrews, 2/1/1867
“It is the impractical things in this tumultuous hell-scape of a world that matter most. A book, a name, chicken soup. They help us remember that, even in our darkest hour, life is still to be savored.” - Poe, Altered Carbon
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Nicely done. I admire the guts it takes to get up there and do that.
- Rumpy
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I was about to make a joke about you being a standup guy, but I'm all out of jokes.
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- Archinerd
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Are you able to imagine me naked if I watch this on youtube, or did I have to be there?
- EvilHomer3k
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
That was pretty funny. I really liked the delivery of the number of cast you have. Well done!
That sound of the spoon scraping over the can ribbing as you corral the last ravioli or two is the signal that a great treat is coming. It's the washboard solo in God's own
bluegrass band of comfort food. - LawBeefaroni
bluegrass band of comfort food. - LawBeefaroni
- Jaymon
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I enjoyed it, and got pretty good response, so I am going to have another go. Write some new jokes, ja.
Me and Mrs Jaymon are part of an improv group homed out of this cafe, so its not like I just wandered in one night.
Me and Mrs Jaymon are part of an improv group homed out of this cafe, so its not like I just wandered in one night.
Bunnies like beer because its made from hops.
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I liked it, certainly good if that's your first time!
I recommend against imagining Archinerd naked, though. That'll lead you to dark humor that probably isn't your style.
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- Skinypupy
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Nice work man. I’d never have the guts to do that.
Plus, I’m incredibly unfunny…which tends to be a problem for stand-up comics.
Plus, I’m incredibly unfunny…which tends to be a problem for stand-up comics.
When darkness veils the world, four Warriors of Light shall come.
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Good job although I guess if you already do improv you've already gotten over the biggest hurdle of simply getting on stage in front of people. Glad to hear that you are going to do it again!
- stimpy
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I'm going to post this joke I think I actually created in a dream last night, but if you end up getting rich off of using it, I want $10.
I got busted yesterday for indecent exposure.
Now I have to go to small claims court.
You're welcome.
I got busted yesterday for indecent exposure.
Now I have to go to small claims court.
You're welcome.
He/Him/His/Porcupine
- Jaymann
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
An evangelist, a Muslim and a parplegiac walk into a bar.
The evangelist says, "It's a miracle, praise Jesus!"
The Muslim says, It's a miracle, praise Allah!"
The paraplegiac collapses to the floor. "Fuck you guys, I'm an alcoholic, praise brain damage."
The evangelist says, "It's a miracle, praise Jesus!"
The Muslim says, It's a miracle, praise Allah!"
The paraplegiac collapses to the floor. "Fuck you guys, I'm an alcoholic, praise brain damage."
Jaymann
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- dbt1949
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Please leave the jokes to the professionals.
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- Unagi
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
? I have no idea what's funny here.
- Blackhawk
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
The alcohol reference I had to think about, which made me miss the pointer back at the funny part. I think it works better by changing the punchline:
It takes your assumption based on the traditional format of the joke, and throws it in your face.
It's like this one: "Two men walk into a bar. The third guy ducks."
It takes your assumption based on the traditional format of the joke, and throws it in your face.
(˙pǝsɹǝʌǝɹ uǝǝq sɐɥ ʎʇıʌɐɹƃ ʃɐuosɹǝd ʎW)
- Unagi
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I was fully prepared to apply the " The third guy ducks" logic to the joke at any time (given the paraplegic)- but I still didn't really see how that fit into the 'praise brain damage' line.
I still don't actually get it.
I still don't actually get it.
- Jaymann
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Nice. I like my setup but I was groping for a better punchline.Blackhawk wrote: ↑Tue Sep 27, 2022 9:22 pm The alcohol reference I had to think about, which made me miss the pointer back at the funny part. I think it works better by changing the punchline:
It's like this one: "Two men walk into a bar. The third guy ducks."
It takes your assumption based on the traditional format of the joke, and throws it in your face.
Jaymann
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- Brian
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Similar to the joke:
I exposed myself at a gardening show and won 2nd place for dried arrangements.
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." - Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I'm going to create an alt called Jaymonn just to make things even more confusing.Jaymann wrote: ↑Tue Sep 27, 2022 10:14 pmNice. I like my setup but I was groping for a better punchline.Blackhawk wrote: ↑Tue Sep 27, 2022 9:22 pm The alcohol reference I had to think about, which made me miss the pointer back at the funny part. I think it works better by changing the punchline:
It's like this one: "Two men walk into a bar. The third guy ducks."
It takes your assumption based on the traditional format of the joke, and throws it in your face.
He won. Period.
- Unagi
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I think it's time for Jaymon to decide if he wants to be the small penis comedian we need.
And as far as more small penis jokes - It will take very little effort to keep em' coming.
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I once had my penis in the Guinness Book of World Records...
Then they threw me out of the library.
Then they threw me out of the library.
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." - Abraham Lincoln
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
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- Jaymon
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I got some information about a local station that needs content for their late night comedy program, so I am workong on new material to submit.
here for your consideration:
----
I’m a big fan of football, I really am. But the game has not kept up with modern times and is losing viewers. But I have some solutions
Here are the Top ten changes to make football more relatable
10. Opening Kickoff is determined by a danceoff instead of a coin flip
9. Coaches must point and shout “objection” when issuing a challenge.
8. Season ticket holders can vote on which play to call next.
7. Fans of the losing team get their ticket price refunded.
6. Cheerleaders enforce the out of bounds rules using tazers
5. After 3 first downs in a row, you unlock multiball
4. Home team can choose between using pigskin and the new better tasting pigskin light
3. The nickelback position is played by actual members of nickelback
2. After each game, fans can vote one player off the team.
1. Replace the player numbers with emojis
here for your consideration:
----
I’m a big fan of football, I really am. But the game has not kept up with modern times and is losing viewers. But I have some solutions
Here are the Top ten changes to make football more relatable
10. Opening Kickoff is determined by a danceoff instead of a coin flip
9. Coaches must point and shout “objection” when issuing a challenge.
8. Season ticket holders can vote on which play to call next.
7. Fans of the losing team get their ticket price refunded.
6. Cheerleaders enforce the out of bounds rules using tazers
5. After 3 first downs in a row, you unlock multiball
4. Home team can choose between using pigskin and the new better tasting pigskin light
3. The nickelback position is played by actual members of nickelback
2. After each game, fans can vote one player off the team.
1. Replace the player numbers with emojis
Bunnies like beer because its made from hops.
- Archinerd
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
The multi-ball one might actually work on me.
- Jaymann
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
Every time there is a quarterback sack the defense is awarded a safety.
No penalty for taunting. Player giving the best taunt receives MVT award.
The team making a successful play challenge is awarded 1 point. An unsuccessful challenge results in a 2 point forfeiture.
There are no illegal formations.
Defensive players may launch teammates to block kicks.
No penalty for taunting. Player giving the best taunt receives MVT award.
The team making a successful play challenge is awarded 1 point. An unsuccessful challenge results in a 2 point forfeiture.
There are no illegal formations.
Defensive players may launch teammates to block kicks.
Jaymann
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- EvilHomer3k
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
8. Season ticket holders can vote on which play to call next.
You could attach a monetary cost to this. Say for 99 cents.
For just 99 cents, season ticket holders can vote on which play to call next using our new NFL Monetize Everything Mobile app.
You could attach a monetary cost to this. Say for 99 cents.
For just 99 cents, season ticket holders can vote on which play to call next using our new NFL Monetize Everything Mobile app.
That sound of the spoon scraping over the can ribbing as you corral the last ravioli or two is the signal that a great treat is coming. It's the washboard solo in God's own
bluegrass band of comfort food. - LawBeefaroni
bluegrass band of comfort food. - LawBeefaroni
- Jaymon
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I published a short story online.
You can't buy it or vote for it or anything, but you can read it, and you might find it amusing.
https://vocal.media/fiction/on-the-kings-road
You can't buy it or vote for it or anything, but you can read it, and you might find it amusing.
https://vocal.media/fiction/on-the-kings-road
Bunnies like beer because its made from hops.
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
According to my wife, if you can't buy a vote, what's the point in voting? Apparently in the Philippines, some compensation for the effort of voting is expected.
Sadly, she did not feel motivated enough to actually go vote today. And our wonderful congresswoman (Lauren Underwood) narrowly won her last re-election by a handful of votes.
Sadly, she did not feel motivated enough to actually go vote today. And our wonderful congresswoman (Lauren Underwood) narrowly won her last re-election by a handful of votes.
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
It's almost as if people are the problem.
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
As I said, her vote could have mattered. In her case, I think there may have been a disconnect with a direct mailing regarding protection of abortion rights. That is not something my wife finds appealing, being the insanely Catholic brain-washed minion she is.
I actually voted for one Republican though -- he lives 2 doors away from me and has a good track record getting things done as an alderman (he's now running for county office). The rest of the elephants on the ballot are all Trump's dingleberries though.
I actually voted for one Republican though -- he lives 2 doors away from me and has a good track record getting things done as an alderman (he's now running for county office). The rest of the elephants on the ballot are all Trump's dingleberries though.
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- Kraken
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I, too, voted for one R. He's losing by nearly 20 points. Oh well. He would've been better than the D, but she's fine too.
I hope Jaymon is getting a lot of material from this derail.
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I won't know until tomorrow, but if my votes reflect the majority, that neighbor R will have to be on a board of donkeys.
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- Hipolito
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Re: Jaymon Standing Up
I liked this! Hope to see more.Jaymon wrote: ↑Tue Nov 08, 2022 1:40 pm I published a short story online.
You can't buy it or vote for it or anything, but you can read it, and you might find it amusing.
https://vocal.media/fiction/on-the-kings-road
Gracias por estar aquí.
Books read, games played.
Avatar: my Shepard from Mass Effect 1.
Books read, games played.
Avatar: my Shepard from Mass Effect 1.
- Jaymon
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Re: Jaymon Writing
Hi everybody.
I changed the thread title, and will use this for self promotion. It is truly my desire to leave the corporate world and work as an author full time, but until then, I just need to keep writing.
Here is a Christmas story I wrote about witches.
https://vocal.media/fiction/the-recipe
have a read if you like, its fairly amusing.
I changed the thread title, and will use this for self promotion. It is truly my desire to leave the corporate world and work as an author full time, but until then, I just need to keep writing.
Here is a Christmas story I wrote about witches.
https://vocal.media/fiction/the-recipe
have a read if you like, its fairly amusing.
Bunnies like beer because its made from hops.
- AWS260
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Re: Jaymon Writing
Given the new thread title, I assume that I can use this thread to post fanfiction about you writing things.
- Jaymon
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Re: Jaymon Writing
If thats what flips your boat or whatever, just be warned, my spouse is the jealous type.
Bunnies like beer because its made from hops.
- Jaymon
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Re: Jaymon Writing
My newest work is up,
the cover art was created by my daughter specifically for this story, so I am quite excited about it.
this one is about dwarves
https://vocal.media/fiction/northern-passage
the cover art was created by my daughter specifically for this story, so I am quite excited about it.
this one is about dwarves
https://vocal.media/fiction/northern-passage
Bunnies like beer because its made from hops.