Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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YellowKing
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Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by YellowKing »

We were talking about beards at work today which reminded me:

I don't typically shave unless I'm going to work or some other function in which I must look presentable, so the 10 days I had off at Christmas were rather liberating. My beard grows fast - I'm the type that gets evil glares from the boss by 5:00 even though I shaved that morning. So by day 6 I had a pretty great beard coming in.

I woke up, looked in the mirror, and had a brilliant plan. My wife was still in bed. I decided to shave everything off but one big giant handlebar pornstache.

Thus I did, even carefully wetting the ends into the closest approximation I could of a curlicue. I then went back to bed.

My wife cannot see without her contacts. The world is a complete blur to her. So she woke up, said good morning to me, went on about her business, etc. never saying a word about my new awesome pornstache. (The baby did look at me weird, but didn't give the joke away - obviously she knew this was genius).

I was able to keep it going for about an hour until she finally got her shower and could see. She saw it, rolled her eyes in that "God, I married a 6-year old" way of hers, then went downstairs to make breakfast. Oh well, for at least one hour I was quite pleased with myself. :-D
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by tgb »

Back when I was a yoot in college, I sported a waxed handlebar mustache. I also wore a top hat and carried a cane.

I was quite the pretentious little pud, and very pleased with myself, as well.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by hepcat »

tgb wrote:Back when I was a yoot in college, I sported a waxed handlebar mustache. I also wore a top hat and carried a cane.

I was quite the pretentious little pud, and very pleased with myself, as well.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by LawBeefaroni »

A while back we had a crew that would occasionally go bowling. I decided to go with a stache. I have similarly fast-growing facial hair so it was not a big deal to skip shaving for a few days and grow one out.

Fortunately I took a razor because we couldn't stop laughing long enough to bowl. I went into the locker room and shaved it off.

The weird thing, I felt like a completely different (scuzzy) person. Mostly because I could see it, just at the edge of my vision so it was a constant reminder for my self-image processing. It was actually quite cool.
YellowKing wrote:Oh well, for at least one hour I was quite pleased with myself.
Next time laugh it off as usual but don't shave it.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by LordMortis »

You can grow handle bars in six days? :shock: I think it took me two months to grow mine for Halloween and even then they were barely passable as handle bars.

It seems like I through two three facial hair phases a year. I am currently cleanly shorn for the first time in maybe three years. No sideburns, mutton chops, beard, scruff, mustache of varying thicknesses, walrus, manchu, friendly chops, full beard, long beard, neck beard or combination or varying cuts there of. The one things I haven't done is goatie/Van Dyke. Given that they are the every man beard I just do care for them, I guess. It's the rebel in me. :roll: I think I had my fill Van Dyke stylings of beard when I was in high school.

Right now my big hair thing is my lack of hair cut. It's been just shy of a year since my last hair cut. My bangs have hit chin level. Work is starting to comment, so I have to get things figured out soon. I was just hoping they'd make me work in the library all by myself every day.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Mr. Fed »

hepcat wrote:
tgb wrote:Back when I was a yoot in college, I sported a waxed handlebar mustache. I also wore a top hat and carried a cane.

I was quite the pretentious little pud, and very pleased with myself, as well.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by YellowKing »

You can grow handle bars in six days? :shock:
It wasn't near as thick and full as a "real" handlebar, but it was definitely recognizable. The longest I ever grew it was a goatee that was almost completely full on Day 10. I imagine if I went 6 weeks I'd look like one of the dudes from ZZ Top.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Isgrimnur »

My father asked me during a visit if I'd forgotten to shave that day. I told him I hadn't shaved in nearly two weeks. He nearly fell out of his chair laughing at me.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Kraken »

I'm wearing my winter beard now, which just means that I don't trim it between October and April. I haven't cut my hair since October, either. Even though I've always had wispy blonde hair that grows very slowly, I could pass for homeless.

Come spring I'll get a buzzcut and carve my short summer beard out of the thicket. My beard's more substantial since it turned white, but it still doesn't grow more than 2-3" all winter.

I uploaded some photos to Facebook a few weeks ago but I'll be hanged if I can figure out how to link to them.
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Post by Enough »

Dude that story rocks, and my already positive opinion of you has increased.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Chaz »

A bunch of us at work grew out mustaches a year and a half ago. It was pretty damn funny, though I wore mine the longest and probably looked like the biggest creep. Then someone pointed out that all I needed was a Hawaiian shirt and I'd look just like a cast member of Magnum PI. So I wore Hawaiian shirts for the rest of the week, and it turns out he was right. :D

Another time, we did mohawks, and once I had that, I realized I needed to complete the look, so I shaved back my beard to a combination of horseshoe mustache and landing stripe. Like this, but without the hangy bits of mustache below the jaw, and the middle bit in the beard went the full length of my chin (this is not a picture of me):

Image

Result was that I looked like I could totally beat you up, but it was a massive PITA to maintain those shaved strips. It was sweet while it lasted. I kept the mohawk for several months though.

Actually, this guy's blog is pretty funny.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Wargus »

Dang - wish I could grow something like that :(

I can go 3 days without shaving and most people won't notice. I can go probably 2 days without shaving my head before people really notice also, although the stubble is annoying on day 2.

If I do manage to let my facial hair grow a week or more it just looks patching and all chemo patient.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Bakhtosh »

Wargus wrote:Dang - wish I could grow something like that :(

I can go 3 days without shaving and most people won't notice. I can go probably 2 days without shaving my head before people really notice also, although the stubble is annoying on day 2.

If I do manage to let my facial hair grow a week or more it just looks patching and all chemo patient.
I have a very slow growing beard too. I make up for it by growing hair and fingernails at an astonishing rate.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Fellstrike »

The other day, I was visiting my mom & her boyfriend when she told him "You should totally grow out your facial hair and then shave 'LSU' on your face!" while drawing out the L on his sideburn, S on his goatee, & U with his other side burn with her finger across his face.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Brian »

At least she didn't suggest he shave tiger stripes into his ball hair.

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Kelric »

I spent four months growing out my mustache/chin area down to about three inches past my chin and keeping the rest of the beard trimmed this past fall/holiday season. Second or third time I've done that. I need a new facial hair look. Many years ago I grew out the soul patch, but wasn't a fan. The long goatee with scruffy jaw beard at least amuses me.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Daehawk »

Best one I had last year was a normal mustache and a straight square'ish soul patch that went into my chin area. So a big rectangle to just under my chin. My best part were the sideburns that angeled down into a dagger point right before reaching my chin.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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Well, I've learned one thing about the pandemic: It's the wrong time to cultivate interesting facial hair.

I've spent the last six weeks or so trying to train my mustache. Waxing, combing, re-combing. I've learned to drink everything through a straw, including hot tea, because hot drinks melt the wax. I wasn't going for anything too fancy. No handlebars, thank you. I just wanted to train it to sweep to the sides rather than going with the straight over-the-lip cut. It would look much better swept to the sides with my hullihee My downfall?

Masks. The KN95s I'm wearing do a great job of sealing off my nose and mouth, which means that breathing into it makes it hot and humid, which softens the wax, leading to a walrus bristle of hairs in front of my mouth which invariably end up poking me everywhere when I can't pull of the mask to scratch. It'll only get worse as the heat and humidity of the Indiana summer starts to kick in. So I just trimmed about 3/4 of a inch of length off at the top of my lip. I'll try again when masks aren't part of the uniform.

The beard has its own problems with masks. The straps go straight across the sides creating a dent that curls around so much it almost does a 360. That I'm keeping, though. I just need to get better at straightening it. I believe it is wash, oil, brush, spray, heat, brush.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Holman »

Oh, yeah. Beards and masks are difficult.

I've returned to always carrying a handkerchief just so I can sponge the moisture from my mustache/beard when I unmask.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Daehawk »

12 years ago mine was like this guys but I also had hair on my chin along with the mustache

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Sudy »

Yeah, I haven't shaved my beard in about 13 months... this by far the longest it's ever gotten. Luckily I've had the privilege to work from home; venturing out in a mask has generally not been a good time. I even started growing out my moustache past lip-length for the second time in my life, but I broke down and trimmed it after getting tired of sucking it into my mouth when eating and needing to go to the dentist. I had just gotten some wax, but it was still too much trouble to style at its intermediate length.

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Blackhawk »

Mustaches are like head hair. If you decide to grow it long, there's a period between where you start and where you end up that looks bad and won't behave. Once the center hairs get long enough to work into the rest and the whole thing has been trained to flow to the sides rather than grow straight down (like you'd train a new part in your hair), it apparently becomes easy and convenient to maintain. I was about halfway there until today. The center was well under my lower lip when I combed it down to trim.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Holman »

Sudy wrote: Sat May 08, 2021 8:36 pm Yeah, I haven't shaved my beard in about 13 months... this by far the longest it's ever gotten. Luckily I've had the privilege to work from home; venturing out in a mask has generally not been a good time. I even started growing out my moustache past lip-length for the second time in my life, but I broke down and trimmed it after getting tired of sucking it into my mouth when eating and needing to go to the dentist. I had just gotten some wax, but it was still too much trouble to style at its intermediate length.
In the winter I sometimes go full Victorian Walrus, but I don't like dipping my mustache in my coffee, so I usually trim it.

This week it finally got Pennsylvania humid, so I trimmed my beard down from a couple of inches to 5 or 6 mm. It's too stuffy otherwise.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by YellowKing »

It's weird re-reading this post and realizing the "baby" I was referring to is my 11-year old daughter in the next room. Time flies. :shock:

I grew my beard out at the beginning of the pandemic but finally ditched it due to masks. I don't have much interest in going that route again due to all the gray (maybe when my head hair catches up, I'll reconsider, but for now it's maintaining its youth).

I did do one fun trick with the last beard shave, however. I kept the mustache and only did one pass on the beard. I came out looking *exactly* like a cowboy in a Western movie and spent several entertaining minutes walking around reciting lines from Tombstone. So I guess 11 years later I still haven't grown up any. :D
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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YellowKing wrote: Sat May 08, 2021 10:19 pm I did do one fun trick with the last beard shave, however. I kept the mustache and only did one pass on the beard. I came out looking *exactly* like a cowboy in a Western movie and spent several entertaining minutes walking around reciting lines from Tombstone. So I guess 11 years later I still haven't grown up any. :D
Any time I wait too long between head shavings, I go with either a mohawk or a tonsure for long enough to make a dad joke or two before shaving it off.

Speaking of which...
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Holman »

YellowKing wrote: Sat May 08, 2021 10:19 pm I grew my beard out at the beginning of the pandemic but finally ditched it due to masks. I don't have much interest in going that route again due to all the gray (maybe when my head hair catches up, I'll reconsider, but for now it's maintaining its youth).
I'm just the opposite. At 52 I still have my hair (albeit with a developing widow's peak), and it is as strawberry-blonde as it was in high school. My mustache is red, but my beard is grey-white, which I enjoy for the sake of gravitas. I probably think it makes me look professorial, which is good for a teacher.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by ImLawBoy »

I went from mid-March 2020 through the end of December 2020 without shaving. My facial hair is too patchy for a short beard, and I look too much like a homicidal maniac with a big bushy beard. I'm back to my regular shaving schedule - M-Th, with laziness taking over on F-Su unless I have something nice to go to (and I don't ever have anything nice to go to these days). Sometimes boy twin tells me I should grow my bushy beard back, but I don't think it's going to happen.

My head hair is getting glorious, though. I haven't cut it since February 2020. Once I'm back to going into the office I suppose I'll get it cut again.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Jeff V »

ImLawBoy wrote: Mon May 10, 2021 9:37 am I haven't cut it since February 2020.
Damned dirty hippy!

I shave every other day mostly except when I need to otherwise, such as Friday and Saturday when I had video interviews scheduled. I can't really stand it when it gets much more than 2 days growth. I also got my hair cut last week, except for 3 months or so at the start of the pandemic, it's a monthly routine. I start to look like this if I go much longer:

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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by LordMortis »

Holman wrote: Sun May 09, 2021 8:52 am
YellowKing wrote: Sat May 08, 2021 10:19 pm I grew my beard out at the beginning of the pandemic but finally ditched it due to masks. I don't have much interest in going that route again due to all the gray (maybe when my head hair catches up, I'll reconsider, but for now it's maintaining its youth).
I'm just the opposite. At 52 I still have my hair (albeit with a developing widow's peak), and it is as strawberry-blonde as it was in high school. My mustache is red, but my beard is grey-white, which I enjoy for the sake of gravitas. I probably think it makes me look professorial, which is good for a teacher.
At 50, my five head is thinning into a six head and the pony tail I pull it back into is a considerably smaller diameter than is has been in years past but it is also as dishwater blonde as it was when I 22 or so when I began never seeing the sun to bleach it blonderererer. Not a grey hair in it. My mustache is also red and my beard was between dishwater blonde and dark brown as it moved away from my chin and down my neck but it has since become salt and pepper with a red hue.

I seem to go about a month or so between shavings at which point my mustache and beard get to be too much a reasonable mask wear. Then the clippers hate me. My face was not made for clipping or shaving.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Madmarcus »

I've given up on mustache wax while wearing a mask. Which means I'm constantly more of a walrus than I really want. Somehow I can never train mine to sweep to the side.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Caluses »

I used to shave twice a week but I got lazy and it became only once per week. I started getting compliments during the days before shaving, so I started timing my shaves so I'd look good over the weekend but fresh and clean during the work week.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

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Madmarcus wrote: Mon May 10, 2021 11:01 pm I've given up on mustache wax while wearing a mask. Which means I'm constantly more of a walrus than I really want. Somehow I can never train mine to sweep to the side.
I didn't start using mustache wax until I experimented with the full on Yosemite Sam, Lady Godiva of mustaches. And by the time I got into Yosemite Sam territory, the was wasn't very useful. it was pretty good at shaping cartoon villina handle bars or 1800s full pointy mustache form in the interim, though.
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by gbasden »

I finally got my first professional beard trim after growing out for over a year. It's nice to have it somewhat contained!
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Re: Fun Things To Do With Facial Hair

Post by Jeff V »

LordMortis wrote: Tue May 11, 2021 10:21 am I didn't start using mustache wax until I experimented with the full on Yosemite Sam, Lady Godiva of mustaches. And by the time I got into Yosemite Sam territory, the was wasn't very useful. it was pretty good at shaping cartoon villina handle bars or 1800s full pointy mustache form in the interim, though.
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