Lots of stuff in wife's name

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Daehawk
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Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Daehawk »

Its coming time for me to see if I can sell my wife's stuff. She has lots of stuff. Good stuffs. Ive not wanted to fool with it all. It hurts to think on it. We got all this together. But its sitting here gathering dust. If she was here she would tell me to sell it and use the money I think. Why keep it until I die and someone else get it all. Boots, shoes, coats...she was a fashionista. Seriously she bought good stuff and its all so beautiful. Then theres collectibles like dolls and stuffed stuff. Not to even mention all the Beanie babies and what each one could be worth.

But all the online stuff...Ebay, Paypal, Etsy, Facebook.....its all in her name. I did all the setting of it up though....Im the one who posted all the stuff we sold...Im the one who set up Paypal. Its all in her name though and its all verified and approved. Some of it I dont even remember the passwords for now. I need all these services to be able to sell the stuff. If I make new accounts then its not verified in my name ....no perfect ratings....no approved emails......ugh.

This year will bring some hard choices to my nest. Not our nest..mine now. How and where to start are mountains unto themselves.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by dbt1949 »

If you have a lot of stuff you might want to contact a auction house. I guess you don't necessarily have to have a lot of stuff but if you do they'll come to your house to sell it.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Blackhawk »

Daehawk wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 5:50 pm This year will bring some hard choices to my nest. Not our nest..mine now.

That's a tough change to digest, but it is an excellent step in the right direction! :horse:
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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My sister is constantly pushing me in this direction. I dont like that but its inevitable. I hate to lose her stuff around me. Its like Im selling parts of her. But its 3 years now. I dont want to simply keep it all until Im gone. Someone else will then benefit from it all. My plan is to sell what I can. Some of her plushy stuff I may donate to children's hospitals. Not sure. Once its all and done I may or may not distribute her most precious jewelry to family. Or I may sell it too. They are old and their children who me and my wife dont even know would get it on their deaths. The extended family is all older than me by decades. There is no one under my age to gift things to to continue the family items. Maybe my niece and nephew but they are both well off themselves and I doubt they'd care.


Lots of decisions this year. Ive not been myself for 3 years now. I may have seemed ok on the outside but inside Ive been dead. I dont even remember 2019 except some games I played. Time to shake off some funk. Be an adult and do the hard things I dont want to do and have never did.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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I feel bad that I've let many of my mom's beloved houseplants die. Plants just aren't my thing. I gave away as many as I could to loving homes, but I still feel bad about it. :think:
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Kraken »

Unlike men's clothes, women's clothes have something called "style" that follows "fashion." After a few years nobody wants them anymore. After enough years, they're desirable again as "vintage" clothing. But even if her garments were of good quality and lightly worn, they aren't going to sell for much unless they're old enough to be vintage.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Blackhawk »

Don't expect much from the beanies, either. That market burst after when the 90s ended, save for a few super rare ones.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Daehawk »

Wheres a good place to have jewelry appraised like diamond rings? Local and chain jewelry stores? Or something else? Im guessing getting multiple appraisals is the key.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Carpet_pissr »

Blackhawk wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:35 pm Don't expect much from the beanies, either. That market burst after when the 90s ended, save for a few super rare ones.
Yeah, I learned way too much about the Beanie Baby bust just trying to make a point to my (literal) hoarder mom.

Not trying to dampen your awesome new trajectory, Daehawk, because there may be some things that ARE worth selling, but it won’t be the Beanies.

At least with the teens I know, they are hardcore into ‘thrifting’ for not even vintage clothing. It’s more like stuff I wore 15-20 years ago, weirdly. :D

Hell one of my 17 year old’s friend has his own online ‘thrift’ shop and wanted to buy one of my shirts that I was wearing the other day. Apparently the kid is raking it in.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Drazzil »

Daehawk wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 8:26 pm My sister is constantly pushing me in this direction. I dont like that but its inevitable. I hate to lose her stuff around me. Its like Im selling parts of her. But its 3 years now. I dont want to simply keep it all until Im gone. Someone else will then benefit from it all. My plan is to sell what I can. Some of her plushy stuff I may donate to children's hospitals. Not sure. Once its all and done I may or may not distribute her most precious jewelry to family. Or I may sell it too. They are old and their children who me and my wife dont even know would get it on their deaths. The extended family is all older than me by decades. There is no one under my age to gift things to to continue the family items. Maybe my niece and nephew but they are both well off themselves and I doubt they'd care.


Lots of decisions this year. Ive not been myself for 3 years now. I may have seemed ok on the outside but inside Ive been dead. I dont even remember 2019 except some games I played. Time to shake off some funk. Be an adult and do the hard things I dont want to do and have never did.
Sounds like what I went thru after mom died. Also there are people who will come by and gather up stuff and ebay it. Also. I would recommend selling everything your wife owned and putting it into making the house livable. Eermm. That said. Im shit at advice. And pretty shit at life too so wmmv.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by dbt1949 »

Daehawk wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:53 pm Wheres a good place to have jewelry appraised like diamond rings? Local and chain jewelry stores? Or something else? Im guessing getting multiple appraisals is the key.
Pawn shops. They do this for a living.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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Daehawk wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:53 pm Wheres a good place to have jewelry appraised like diamond rings? Local and chain jewelry stores? Or something else? Im guessing getting multiple appraisals is the key.
Uh, just Google “jewelry appraisal”?
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Drazzil »

dbt1949 wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 1:49 am
Daehawk wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:53 pm Wheres a good place to have jewelry appraised like diamond rings? Local and chain jewelry stores? Or something else? I'm guessing getting multiple appraisals is the key.
Pawn shops. They do this for a living.
I wouldn't sell to a pawn shop. I might visit multiple pawn shops to get a good idea what things may be worth. Here's an idea you may or may not want to try: Try taking your precious jewelry to a reputable coin shop or bullion dealer instead. For whatever reason, I've seen SEVERAL people take their jewelry and silver into coin shops and be paid based on the purity of the metal. Pawn shops will rip you off and pay you very little.

You may get more for the precious metal from a bullion spot then you would for the entire ring at a pawn shop or diamond store. Then you could always have the diamond classified and then sell it seperately. Wont get much tho, from what I hear diamonds sell very poorly. WMMV. This is Drazzil advice.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by dbt1949 »

Once you went to multiple pawn shops and got a good estimate of their worth who would you sell it to? Do you think a jewelry shop is going to give you a better price?
reputable coin shop or bullion dealer
These are called pawn shops.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Drazzil »

dbt1949 wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 2:22 am Once you went to multiple pawn shops and got a good estimate of their worth who would you sell it to? Do you think a jewelry shop is going to give you a better price?
reputable coin shop or bullion dealer
These are called pawn shops.
Well. Maybe I didn't communicate effectively. He could do one of several things. He could take his jewelry to several pawn shops and choose the one who offers him the most. I wouldn't do that tho. Pawn shops will rip you off, and give you a fraction of their true value. A jewelry shop might give him a better shot at getting value for his wife's stuff.

The reason I mentioned coin shops or bullion dealers? I've hung around a few. The process tends to be extremely straight forward. The coin/bullion dealer meets with the person bringing the stuff in, they go through the haul, if there's question about purity they test it right there, they weigh the gold and then they tabulate and give you an offer. Also I've noticed on average they seem to offer more in bullion shops for precious metals then pawn shops do. When mom passed the few pieces she had of value I considered selling.

Also when going through the reviews for SEVERAL coin shops on google before visiting I noticed more then a few people saying that the coin shops offered them better prices for their jewelry then the pawn shops did. So its not just my personal experience.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Alefroth »

If there is enough to make it worth their while, an estate liquidator might be the easiest way to do it.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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Alefroth wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 4:08 am If there is enough to make it worth their while, an estate liquidator might be the easiest way to do it.
+1 This right here, prolly the easiest way to do it.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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What is WMMV?
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by LawBeefaroni »

It really depends on the quality of the jewelery. For stuff that sells at melt, a bullion dealer may be OK but if there is any value in the work you'd want a certified appraiser.


As for the eBay, etc accounts, try to recover them but don't worry about it too much. Unless you had thousands of sales it won't make that much of a difference.

Also, consider if you have the time and ability to do all of the sales. You need to package everything up, pay for shipping with delivery confirmation at the very least, ship in a timely manner, and may have to deal with scammers or unbearable customers. If there is a local consignment seller or something similar that might be a better option. You'll pay a larger cut but won't have to deal with all the crap. Doing it yourself, you can often run negative on a sale after expenses.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by LordMortis »

The Meal wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 9:37 am What is WMMV?
Wour Mileage May Vary?
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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LordMortis wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:39 am
The Meal wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 9:37 am What is WMMV?
Wour Mileage May Vary?
I could let it go for a while, but I'm now convinced it's intentional. Google is no help.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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Carpet_pissr wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 12:08 am
Blackhawk wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:35 pm Don't expect much from the beanies, either. That market burst after when the 90s ended, save for a few super rare ones.
Yeah, I learned way too much about the Beanie Baby bust just trying to make a point to my (literal) hoarder mom.

Not trying to dampen your awesome new trajectory, Daehawk, because there may be some things that ARE worth selling, but it won’t be the Beanies.
It's worth looking them over, but all of the money left in them is just from a handful of very early designs with a limited run, or from getting one with a factory defect (extra leg, misprinted label, etc.)

Michelle had a few back in the 90s, maybe two dozen. They ended up in a box, and I gave myself a quick education a while back when deciding what to finally do with them.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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LawBeefaroni wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:19 am Also, consider if you have the time and ability to do all of the sales. You need to package everything up, pay for shipping with delivery confirmation at the very least, ship in a timely manner, and may have to deal with scammers or unbearable customers. If there is a local consignment seller or something similar that might be a better option. You'll pay a larger cut but won't have to deal with all the crap. Doing it yourself, you can often run negative on a sale after expenses.
I would second this. Dealing with people on eBay can be...not fun. All it will take is one bad exchange to ruin everything else you might have done. Instead I'd strongly encourage doing a bulk unloading locally (as others have suggested).

Also if you get stuck or upset over how little things might actually be worth, try not to focus on the money. Instead think about how they are hopefully going to someone that can experience joy from them in the same way you did or your wife did at one point.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Blackhawk »

And Daehawk - this is an important point that a lot of people in your situation get stuck on: Memories aren't worth anything to anyone else. That sounds harsh, but it's important to remember. Something your wife valued very, very highly, her favorite items, things that were passed down, etc., aren't worth any more because of that. It can be really hard to come to terms with the fact that a favorite piece of clothing is only worth two bucks to other people, but to them it's no different from seeing that item in a thrift store. The antique lamp passed down from Grandma ends up just being an old lamp worth three or four dollars.

And in the end, a lot of people find that 95% of the stuff that was special actually has very little value to anyone else. It doesn't sell, and buyers don't want it.

That's not meant to discourage you. Get your stuff looked at. Offer it. Hopefully find a few items that are worth a lot and can help you out. But don't be afraid to let go of the rest, and if it won't sell, or isn't worth the price of shipping it, don't be afraid to take it down to Goodwill and give it away. And when it gets hard, turn it around. If it had been you who passed and she were still around, what would you want her to do with your old stuff if it wasn't worth money? Her clothes are better off being worn by someone without the means to buy new clothes than they are sitting in a box in the closet.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by gilraen »

dbt1949 wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 2:22 am Once you went to multiple pawn shops and got a good estimate of their worth who would you sell it to? Do you think a jewelry shop is going to give you a better price?
Go to a jewelry store but don't tell them you are appraising it to sell. Tell them you need an appraisal for insurance purposes.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by MHS »

I managed retail jewelry stores a billionty years ago so I'll chime in here. Retail jewelry stores don't buy used jewelry. They'll take it in trade sometimes but typically only if you're buying 2x what they are giving you in trade for yours, and I doubt Daehawk wants more jewelry. Also, don't expect to get much of anything for it. Investment jewelry involves large, expensive, high quality gems and diamonds, preferably not mounted. You'd be lucky to get 1/20th of what you paid for the average piece you buy in a mall. Having it appraised is fairly useless, again, unless you're talking pieces over the 10k range. There are tools that can differentiate between a real diamond and not in 2 seconds (and a good jeweler can tell by looking in most cases) so all you're getting with an appraisal is a replacement cost estimate, which no one you're selling to will care about because they're not going to give you anywhere near that, so since appraisals cost money, it's a waste of time or money.

I do think clearing out her things by selling them or giving them away is a definite step in the right direction. Good luck to you.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by EvilHomer3k »

Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist are probably the easiest way to sell things. No need to ship them. They do, however, depend on the size of the market. If you live in an urban area you'll have a fairly big audience. I would, personally, make a new account for it. I think using your wife's accounts would make it harder. You also might look for vintage/thrift shops in the area. They buy things as well as sell them.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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gilraen wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 11:19 am
dbt1949 wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 2:22 am Once you went to multiple pawn shops and got a good estimate of their worth who would you sell it to? Do you think a jewelry shop is going to give you a better price?
Go to a jewelry store but don't tell them you are appraising it to sell. Tell them you need an appraisal for insurance purposes.
Jewelry stores will give you a price of what they would sell it for not how much they would buy it for.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Smoove_B »

EvilHomer3k wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 11:39 am Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist are probably the easiest way to sell things.
If you're going to go this route, agree to meet in person at a location where there are cameras. There are many municipal lots that advertise spaces/locations exactly for this type of transaction. Don't have the person come to your house. Don't offer to go to theirs.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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Took the rings by a jewelry shop we used to use. The guy was working alone due to Covid and his workers all leaving. He was 9 months behind on appraisals. Those are minimum $75 anyways though. He did look at them quickly. He couldn't even guess at the worth of the 1940 wedding ring. Said a antique store might know and directed me to one. But I didn't have time to go. He did say it was a 1/3 carat. The cluster ring he said would be about $599 new in stores so Id have to base my asking prices off that.

The pawn shop looked at all 3 and offered $350 for all them. That hurt. I know I can sell them more and that wedding ring alone is worth more than that. But I will keep it written down.

Just an overall depressing day. Topped off by Walmart refusing to price match their own online app.....that they've done for a year now. Id had store managers and customer service all price match me but this team lead girl refused.

Going to have to look into selling my plasma more seriously.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by LawBeefaroni »

There's a decent market for vintage wedding bands. I'd recommend being selective/cautious with that one.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Blackhawk »

Make sure you read MHS's post up above about jewelry. This part stands out:
MHS wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 11:25 am You'd be lucky to get 1/20th of what you paid for the average piece you buy in a mall.
Keep that in mind when looking at what it would cost to buy new and setting your price.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by EvilHomer3k »

Smoove_B wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 12:24 pm
EvilHomer3k wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 11:39 am Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist are probably the easiest way to sell things.
If you're going to go this route, agree to meet in person at a location where there are cameras. There are many municipal lots that advertise spaces/locations exactly for this type of transaction. Don't have the person come to your house. Don't offer to go to theirs.
Also, go with a friend. It's pretty easy to overpower one person and it's unlikely that any spectators will help anyway.

I generally do whatever people are comfortable with. I'd say half my transactions are at my/their house and half are in a parking lot/gas station. One thing I always do is check out their profile. In many cases we have friends in common. I make sure the profile matches the person I'm meeting and that their profile doesn't look fishy. Also, most of my dealings are related to bicycles which are harder to meet in parking lots due to transporting them. Anyway, it is better to be safe. I'm just not really worried about that. I do close my garage when having people come over. No need for them to see all my bikes (or messy garage).
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Daehawk »

I think with Etsy and Ebay and such I can keep them as is. I can always change the passwords I suppose. As for Paypal I think I should probably just start a new account in my name. I dont see losing anything there other than being verified on Ebay and such and can always regain that status.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Drazzil »

LordMortis wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:39 am
The Meal wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 9:37 am What is WMMV?
Wour Mileage May Vary?
My brain was having an Elmer Fudd moment...
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Drazzil »

The Meal wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:42 am
LordMortis wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:39 am
The Meal wrote: Thu Jan 27, 2022 9:37 am What is WMMV?
Wour Mileage May Vary?
I could let it go for a while, but I'm now convinced it's intentional. Google is no help.
You know when you do things a certain way and no one corrects you on it so you let it slide for years?

So yeah I did that a lot and what I MEANT was YMMV or Your Mileage May Vary. You know what is even more messed up? I STILL read WMMV as Your Mileage May Vary. My brain tricked itself into writing it wrong, and reading it right.
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Carpet_pissr »

I have no idea what wou guws are talking about. Wour posts are confusing.
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Jaymann
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Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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Warning! Mileage May Vary!
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Freyland
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Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 11:03 pm

Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

Post by Freyland »

Carpet_pissr wrote: Fri Jan 28, 2022 12:59 am I have no idea what wou guws are talking about. Wour posts are confusing.
Just quoting you to see if my autocorrect would burst into flames.
Sims 3 and signature unclear.
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Carpet_pissr
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Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:32 pm
Location: Columbia, SC

Re: Lots of stuff in wife's name

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