Octopus Overlords

Ok I asked this in "another" forum, and all I got were replies to lick it or rub it on my genitals.

So in all seriousness. Is any of the plant material in the pictures I took here Posion Ivy?

WARNING... large pics

From looking at http://www.poison-ivy.org/ (google is wonderful) it doesn't appear to be.

Looking at it closer it appears to be garden variety wild blackberry vines. Notice the thistles on the vines...poison ivy doesn't have thistles.

Yea, I was there (and several other websites too of course), but just couldn't determine yes/no based on their pics... they look similar except the serrations on the edge of the leaves in my pics...

Well poison ivy takes on all shapes and sizes. Usually there's at least some glossiness to it, and often it has a reddish hue... but not always of course. Older plants don't have the glossiness either.

I'd say the plant on the right in the first photo definitely looks like poison ivy. As for the others, not so much, but I'm by no means an expert on the matter.

i'm not a botanist by any means, but i don't see anything there that looks like any variation of poison ivy that i've ever encountered.

Well, only one way to find out...

jpinard wrote:...lick it or rub it on [your] genitals.

Eagle Scout checking in --

No, I don't believe that is poison ivy. Like others have said, it usually has an oily-sheen to it. I'm sure some plant-ologist will come in and set us all straight.

Are you asking because you have a rash or because you're looking to pull it out of your yard and want to be safe?

We've got bad poison ivy in our backyard, so I'm very familiar with it.

That doesn't look like poision ivy (the leaves look too fat). Poison ivy (at least the kind in my area) usually has long reddish vines, and will occasionally have these little red bumps on it. It does have three leaves however.

I've always followed the adage - "Leaves of three, let it be." So I wouldn't voluntarily rub that on my genitals. There are all kinds of variant "poisonous" plants like poision oak, etc. that I'm not familiar enough with to identify from a picture.

The serrated edges of the leaves is your main clue that this plant is safe to rub on your genitals. Poison ivy leaves have smoother edges.

Stinging nettles.

rrmorton wrote:The serrated edges of the leaves is your main clue that this plant is safe to rub on your genitals. Poison ivy leaves have smoother edges.

This is true. While PI may have notched leaves, it won't have that serrated edge. They can however, be fat or thin, glossy or dull, red or green though, so don't let that be your deciding factor in your herb-genital activities.

Poison ivy comes in lots of shapes and sizes (as has been said), but that looks nothing like any of the Poison ivy I'm familiar with (especially from Michigan). I can't tell you it *isn't* poison ivy (as it has the general characteristic), but were I to see some of that stuff on the ground, my gut reaction wouldn't be: stay away!

The stuff I'm mostly familiar with grows just off the dunes on Lake Michigan, and it's more teardrop shaped (sometimes with a \/\/\/ -- pair of notches -- at the tip shape). The oil on the leaves is a pretty good give away, and if you can wait until September when things cool down, the ruddy reddish color is a dead giveaway.

~Neal

I agree, it does not look like Poison Ivy looks like a blackberry leaf.

As an aside, my wife is INSANELY sensitive to poison ivy. Last year when we were clearing out weeds she accidentally touched a single leaf and had a rash for weeks. She eventually had to get a cortizone shot in her butt (a fact that gave me much joke fodder over the coming weeks.)

I appear to be immune to the stuff however. I can go out there with no gloves, yank it up, stuff it in a trash can, get oil all over my arms and legs - nothing.

So that's about it for my superpowers.

Poison ivy itches only people, Octopuses need three hearts

~Neal

What a disapointment... and here I thought we'd be talking about:

I think that 'rub it on your genitals' is sound, sage advice--no matter what the topic is.

Poison Ivy leaves are not symetric, so look at the leaves and check for that. As rubbing it on your genitals, if it's Jamie Pressley, I am quite a willing substitute.

I figured I should note I'm willing to take your place, not hers

I've posted this on OO before, but I never miss an opportunity to hawk this product.

Zanfel.

This stuff gave me INSTANT relief from a really bad exposure to poison ivy. The price is quite steep for a relatively small tube, but I was so uncomfortable I would have paid double for it.

Tough call. The two things that I always look for are the three leaves (with the center leaf having a longer stem) and the side leaves being gloves (not always though). Sometimes a lack of consistency can be an indicator. With most plants, all of the leaves will be the same. With poison ivy, you can see a lot of variation in the sets of leaves on one plant.

Poison ivy can grow as a vine or bush, which can make identification tricky.

Some of the leaves in the pictures definitely look like poison ivy, but not all of them. Unfortunately, I don't remember what the flower looks like (though I do want to say that it's white...).

Oh, and it looks like most species of blackberry have five leaflets, not three.

TheMix wrote:T
Oh, and it looks like most species of blackberry have five leaflets, not three.

Blackberries

Once again... Poison Ivy does not have serrated edges. They may be notched, but not serrated like that.

Hence my comment about most. Definitely the ones that I grew up with had five. Also, in New England the blackberries were bushes, not vines.

Regardless, I found the following at http://www.conservation.state.mo.us/nat ... ora/poivy/

Poison ivy
three divided leaves center leaflet on a longer stalk white, waxy berries along the stem leaves alternate on the stem erect shrub or climbing vine

Judging from that and a couple of other pictures of the flowers, I think you (jpinard) may be okay. The flowers in the pictures you posted do not resemble poison ivy flowers.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that anything you find in your back yard, you should keep away from your genitals.

Smoove_B wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that anything you find in your back yard, you should keep away from your genitals.

What if you found Elisha Cuthbert in your back yard?

Sad... Mr Sparkle beat me to it.

Anyway, I'll add yet another eagle scout's worth of opinion to the "Not poison ivy" camp. Of course, my monitor is pretty crappy.

Mmm, blackberries.

Ralph-Wiggum wrote:

Smoove_B wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that anything you find in your back yard, you should keep away from your genitals.

What if you found Elisha Cuthbert in your back yard?

E-mail me immediately. I will take care of it.

Leaves of three, let it be.
Leaves of five, let it thrive.
Leaves of seven, you're in heaven.

Eat some with hot sauce. It will protect your insides. I promise.

Smoove_B wrote:

Ralph-Wiggum wrote:

Smoove_B wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that anything you find in your back yard, you should keep away from your genitals.

What if you found Elisha Cuthbert in your back yard?

E-mail me immediately. I will take care of it.

Hehehehe! You guys had me rolling!

Are serrated edges better for stabbing?

stick them in your pipe and smoke it

rrmorton wrote:The serrated edges of the leaves is your main clue that this plant is safe to rub on your genitals.

Not exactly.

Itchweed (not sure if there's a more scientific name) grew everywhere in the lower brush areas of the woods around where I grew up. It's not as nasty as Poison Ivy, but you sure as hell wouldn't want to rub it on your genitals. It has thinner serrated leaves and looks fairly similar to the ones in the 4th picture down.

If you get into that, it'll itch and leave an irritated rash but it won't really be painful...just annoying.

Leaves of eight, use it to masturbate

This guy knows what poison ivy looks like:



Actually the site that photo was from has a lot of good pictures, but they are clearly out to make a few bucks as well. Good photos though.