Request for legal advice (urgent)

Tareeq · Post by **Tareeq** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:51 pm

By the time you read this, I may be on my way to prison -- sent there by an irresponsible attorney.

I've been accused of a crime. Falsely I should add. It's a white collar offense, lest any of you think I'm a deviant or a thug. I can prove my innocence, and look forward to doing so, given the chance.

But I may not get that chance. After a long nightmare of slander, accusation, discovery, and legal fees which may leave me bankrupt, my trial is about to begin. Because the charges against me are complex and involve numerous witnesses, it will last weeks.

Today I heard that one of the attorneys I've hired to assist me wants to back out of my defense. He claims that his wife made plans to attend some family gathering at a ski resort in Canada. At Christmas. In the middle of my trial. He says he needs to spend time with his family, drinking brandy and roasting chestnuts over a hot fire. The lawyer says that he needs the time to get away from his problems, and assures me that this vacation will strengthen his marriage.

Now he isn't my primary defense attorney. He's a junior partner at a large firm. But his role in my defense is crucial. He's needed to cross-examine some of the peripheral prosecution witnesses, and to assist with evidentiary motions. This is critical. My case presents complex legal issues due to the number of witnesses who will be called, and it is absolutely imperative to my defense that the judge rule correctly. I know that the government will try to present witnesses whose testimony is false, fraudulent, or incompetent. They will railroad me if my attorneys can't get this false evidence excluded. I was counting on the junior partner to handle these motions, because he has a sharp mind, and my case is so complex that one lawyer simply cannot handle my defense.

I had a talk with my defense team today. They tell me that I should consider a plea agreement, because the absence of one of my attorneys means that the goverment will likely prevail. They have assigned three prosecutors to the case, as well as numerous government investigators and agents. We were already outmanned, but I was counting on my attorneys' sharper minds to carry the day.

If I accept a plea, I may be able to rebuild my life, to see my family, in five to ten years. If I am found guilty after a trial, I may be sentenced to decades in prison.

Yet I am innocent. Every bone in my body tells me not to plead guilty to crimes I did not commit.

What should I do?

The Mad Hatter · Post by **The Mad Hatter** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:56 pm

See movie Cape Fear, learn from it and act on what you learned. Repeat as necessary.

GuidoTKP · Post by **GuidoTKP** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:58 pm

Just suck it up man. Blows that you are innocent, but your attorney has to think long term. I mean, in 20 years he won't remember that he rescued you from prison, but he will remember that Canadian vacation he missed out on. Think of what he is going through, you selfish bastard ....

Biyobi · Post by **Biyobi** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:59 pm

Talk to Mr. Fed. I hear he'll be working through the holidays.

Oh, wait...

KingB · Post by **KingB** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:00 pm

Holy crap! This sucks man. I have no advice but I most definately wish you the best.

P.S. Can you tell us what you are being accused of?

Mr. Sparkle · Post by **Mr. Sparkle** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:00 pm

I think it's time to consider Lithium. That should help quiet the voices... though I wonder which personality would be dominant.

I think Mr. Fed likes to be on top.

Hrdina · Post by **Hrdina** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:01 pm

You had me worried for the first three paragraphs. Nicely done.

I guess that not everyone has read the other thread..

GuidoTKP · Post by **GuidoTKP** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:02 pm

Hrdina wrote:

You had me worried for the first three paragraphs. Nicely done.

I guess that not everyone has read the other thread..

Ya know, there is no fun in making it easy for people .....

WAW · Post by **WAW** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:09 pm

Look at the bright side there's alot of sex in prison. And new guys are very popular.

The Meal · Post by **The Meal** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:12 pm

The world sucks, don't it? We've got innocent people in prison, good people die in car accidents. Babies are born with brain tumors. WTF else is new.

We had about 3,000 innocent people die on September 11, and their fate was a hell of a lot worse than having to sit around in their underwear.

~Neal

$iljanus · Post by **$iljanus** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:12 pm

I heard that the lawyer is actually blowing off your case to play some online computer game where you make baskets or some other arts and craft sort of thing...

gellar · Post by **gellar** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:24 pm

Wait... so check it for a second.

If Mr. Fed = Tareeq, that means Mr. Fed is defending himself in this trial and thus, it's likely going on IN HIS OWN MIND.

Psycho.

gellar

KingB · Post by **KingB** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:31 pm

I am so confused at the moment.

Not like thats abnormal or anything.

Default · Post by **Default** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:34 pm

$iljanus wrote:I heard that the lawyer is actually blowing off your case to play some online computer game where you make baskets or some other arts and craft sort of thing...

Huh. I thought he was making money as a virtual transvestite lapdancer in that one.....

Just remember, do whatever you have to get by in prison.

Seeya in 20 years, Suzy

Mr. Fed · Post by **Mr. Fed** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:03 pm

I am overcome -- with laughter at the OP and Meal's snark, with a warm feeling of inclusion that people care enough to ridicule me and my family's pain, with pride that anyone would think I could be an alt of the estimable T-man, and with indigestion from some regrettable chili I had for lunch.

Kelric · Post by **Kelric** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:06 pm

Mr. Fed wrote:I am overcome -- with laughter at the OP and Meal's snark, with a warm feeling of inclusion that people care enough to ridicule me and my family's pain, with pride that anyone would think I could be an alt of the estimable T-man, and with indigestion from some regrettable chili I had for lunch.

I didn't need to know about the pride. Really. That's just too much hubris.

Eightball · Post by **Eightball** » Thu Dec 02, 2004 10:09 pm

Mr. Fed wrote:You know, minimum security prison is no picnic. I had a client in there once. He said the trick is kick someone's ass the first day, or become somebody's bitch. Then everything will be alright.

Tareeq wrote:But I don't want to federal pound me in the ass prison!

Windows95 · Post by **Windows95** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 3:38 am

I'm trying to figure out why the hell you'd hire a male attorney who wears lipstick.

Spock's Brain · Post by **Spock's Brain** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 4:03 am

Somebody please archive this thread (and all of the alternate personalities). We have an OO classic to rival the GG™ood Old Days.

Crowley · Post by **Crowley** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 4:32 am

You need to put smilies at the end of jokes. How else will be know whats a joke and what isnt?

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 6:49 am

Kadoth Nodens · Post by **Kadoth Nodens** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 10:35 am

Tareeq wrote: I've been accused of a crime. Falsely I should add. It's a white collar offense, lest any of you think I'm a deviant or a thug.

Stealing panties is a white collar crime now?

Eel Snave · Post by **Eel Snave** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 10:48 am

You guys are mean. For once I thought that someone exciting was actually happening, like when Kelric got "banned." Actually, that pissed me off, so forget that.

Post by **godhugh** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 10:51 am

Eel Snave wrote:You guys are mean. For once I thought that someone exciting was actually happening, like when Kelric got "banned." Actually, that pissed me off, so forget that.

Heh

tgb · Post by **tgb** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 10:59 am

WAW wrote:Look at the bright side there's alot of sex in prison. And new guys are very popular.

Don't forget three hots and a cot.

Dirt · Post by **Dirt** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:31 pm

Tell Mr Fed, I mean, your second chair to suck it up and take it like a man.

jpinard · Post by **jpinard** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:41 am

Dang Tareeq, I thought this as real. I'm glad it's not...

Hrdina · Post by **Hrdina** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 2:30 am

GuidoTKP wrote:
Hrdina wrote:

You had me worried for the first three paragraphs. Nicely done.

I guess that not everyone has read the other thread..
Ya know, there is no fun in making it easy for people .....

Yeah, I thought of that after I hit 'submit'. My original response was just

with no text, but that might have led others to think me callous without some explanation!

Octopus Overlords

Request for legal advice (urgent)

Request for legal advice (urgent)

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