Things I have dropped in the toilet: expanded edition

Mr. Fed · Post by **Mr. Fed** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:41 pm

I added to my list this morning. My list of shit -- strike that, stuff -- that I have dropped into the toilet unintentionally.

The top of my list has always been my brand-new credentials. My first day as a federal prosecutor, I got a cool leather flip-open credential case, like the ones FBI agents keep their badges in. It had the seal of the Department of Justice on the front, and a decent picture of me inside showing me to be a fed, and it was way cool. I had to show it to get into and out of the building through the employee gate. I kept it in my shirt pocket. Late on my first day, I took a bathroom break. After doing my business, I stood up, leaned over to flush, and the creds dropped down into the non-clean toilet bowl. I washed them in the sink -- repeatedly -- but they were never the cool, clean, crisp leather creds again. I could swear that I could smell pee on them six years later. That's when I realized that life as a fed was not necessarily as glamourous as I had anticipated.

I have also dropped my glasses, a can of diet coke, and my car keys into toilets.

Today I dropped my psychotropic medication into a toilet. I was rushing around the bathroom getting ready, tossed the first pill in my mouth, caught it, tossed the second, bounced it off my chin into a neat arc into the as-of-yet unflushed toilet.

I did not retreive it.

The day will be like that, I think.

JSHAW · Post by **JSHAW** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:58 pm

It's time to change your nickname from Mr. Fed to Mr. Klutz.

LawBeefaroni · Post by **LawBeefaroni** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:02 pm

Cellphone. PDA.

I don't use shirt pockets anymore.

KingB · Post by **KingB** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:06 pm

My checkbook. I was sitting on the toilet, get up to...ya know, finish business, and my check book in my back pocket gets caught on the lid. As I am standing up it flips out and backwards right into the toilet.

Captain Caveman · Post by **Captain Caveman** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:08 pm

A friend of mine in college used to take prolonged bowel movements so he began doing his homework right there on the can. One time he was sitting there doing his business working on some math equations, complete with a calculator. He finished up, both his number 2 and his homework, flushed and came back to our dorm room. Once there, he realized that he couldn't find his calculator. He looked everywhere, even going so far as to return to the bathroom and look all around the toilet area. No calculator.

We then went to dinner at the dining hall. After getting his food, he sat down in his dining room chair and suddenly his eyes got really big. We asked him what was wrong, but he didn't repsond. He just stood up, reached inside his pants, and retrieved his calculator. The thing had been in his boxer shorts the whole time and he hadn't even notice.

He claims he must have placed that calculator down on his boxers as he finished up his toilet activites and then just forgotten about it when he put his pants back on. Bizarre, but true.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:10 pm

I used to repair heart monitors that people wear at home for like 24 hours and it makes a recording of your hearts activities.The number one repair job was the unit falling in to the toilet.
People would wear these things on their belts.
I really hated that job.

Exodor · Post by **Exodor** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:24 pm

I once juggled a cell phone into the toilet at work. Cell was on one of those belt-clip deals. I undid my belt to prepare to do God's work, and the force of the unbelting flung the phone into the air.

I valiantly tried to save it - I must have tried three or four times to catch it, only to have it elude my grasp and dance in the air. Finally I missed it and watched as, in slow motion, it dropped staight into the bowl with a nice little splash.

For some unknown I retrieved the phone. Of course it never worked again, but this was a public toilet - what was I thinking, putting my hand in there?

And even if it DID work after that, why would I want to put anything that's been in the toilet that close to my mouth?

Jag · Post by **Jag** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:39 pm

I left my PDA on the back part of the toilet (what is that called anyway?), so when my 4yr old finished his business, naturally he wanted to play with 'daddy's mini computer' standing over the toilet. I saw this from across the room and with a slow-mo 'noooooooo...' bounded to the toilet, just as he fumbled the PDA. Luckily he caught it and disaster was averted.

Head · Post by **Head** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:47 pm

Didn't you learn what to drop when you were potty trained? If not, you know what they say -- can't teach an old Fed new tricks.

Yeah, Id say the cell phone is next.

dbt1949 · Post by **dbt1949** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:50 pm

Anybody else see the irony of Head responding to a thread about toilets?

Austin · Post by **Austin** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:05 pm

Well, not a toilet but when I worked in the lab I had plenty of things fall into plastic eating solvent or sticky gooey resin. I stopped using the shirt type pocket on my labcoat.

Exrod · Post by **Exrod** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:24 pm

In the morning to get my son (Paul 4 yrs old) moving I give him a mission. One day it was to take his stuffed cow and use it to scare his mother who was in the bathroom doing her hair or whatever. A few minutes later I hear my wife laughing. She said she heard growling and then a cow flew into the bathroom and landed in the toilet. Said cow survived a trip through the washing machine.

Grundbegriff · Post by **Grundbegriff** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 2:40 am

Jeff V · Post by **Jeff V** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 9:47 am

PDA for me, too.

Smoove_B · Post by **Smoove_B** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 9:54 am

So what I'm hearing people say is that if I can develop a PDA that's waterproof and sealed tight enough to survive a commerical dishwasher (for sanitizing), I could be a millionaire?